He's The Unaffordable
Chapter 98 - Tired of Crying

*dira*

Feeling lonely in the middle of the crowd I feel very much at this time. We did activities together during the vacation, but the happiness I felt was temporary. Because as soon as I was alone, I was reminded of all the bad things I had experienced.

I'm tired of having to go undercover with a hat, sunglasses, or let my long hair cover a little of my face. I want my life to be normal again. Usually only in certain places I need to go undercover. But since the incident with the video, I feel uneasy if I don't cover my face.

The shower started to wrinkle my skin, but I didn't care. I was still sitting on the floor of the shower room and letting the water wet my entire body. My hungry stomach I just ignored because I had no appetite.

Not wanting to make my brother and best friend worry, I dragged my feet to walk towards the dining room. But when my eyes read the sign hanging from the ceiling of the corridor leading to the lobby, I changed my mind.

After cycling for a few minutes, I stopped and pulled over to enjoy the beautiful scenery around me. I felt nothing but pain. Tears fell down my cheeks as hard as I held them. I was tired of crying and I thought my tears were dry. Unfortunately, whenever I was alone, my tears could not be controlled.

“Dira.” I felt a touch on my shoulder. I recognized the voice, so I quickly wiped away the tears on my face. “No need to be tough in front of me. Pretending to be strong will only slow down your recovery process.”

“I'm tired of crying, Auntie. I want this pain to go far.” My tears broke after I told honestly what I was feeling.

“Oh, dear.” Aunt Daphina hugged my body. “Anyone who experiences what you experience will feel the same way. This is not a problem that can be solved within a day or two. Give yourself time to recover.”

“I hope by coming here, my situation will be better. But not.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “Every time I was alone, I would cry again. I feel guilty with my brothers and friends.”

“A little bit much, I know what it feels like.” Aunt Daphina loosened her embrace. He sat on the grass, so I imitated him. “Do you know? Brady and I barely got married.”

“Ha? Is that right, Auntie?” I just don't believe it.

He smiled while nodding slowly. “Brady has a female friend who is very close to him. Even closer than our relationship. We had several dating appointments canceled because his best friend had a problem or we even dated three.”

“Why is he so? Colin and I had a deal from the beginning. We will only be friends with our fellow men. I'm with women, while she's with men, to avoid misunderstandings. If his best friend brings trouble, why not keep your distance?” many confused.

“Brady thinks his best friend is a good person. I also initially thought so until she came and talked to me that she would do anything for me and Brady to break up.”

“She said that to Auntie?” I round my eyes.

“Dan Brady is not at all suspicious of his attitude.” Aunty took my hand, then looked at me gently. “Our problem I could have solved sooner had I spoken honestly with Brady. But I chose to solve my own problems.

“Dira, talk to your family what you need so you can recover. Solving a problem of this magnitude alone will only make it harder for you. See ye. Reflecting here alone because it always feels sad when alone. You feel guilty about disappointing your family and friends. No one is disappointed in you, baby. Believe this.

“I'm just proud of you. You are so strong. If I were in your position, maybe I would never dare to get out of the room. Never will be.” She smiles. “But look what you did. You are away from home, on vacation with the closest people. Those who have done this to you must never have thought that you would be this brave.”

Aunt proud of me, because I'm strong? Am I really strong? Am I really brave? But being in this place was scary because I was away from home, from my room. Is it true that if Vivaldo and Nora saw me vacationing in this place, they wouldn't believe it?

“No, Aunt. I am not strong or brave. I still hide myself with these glasses and this hat,” I said quietly.

“You always look like this in public.” Aunt Dafhina rubbed my hat with anxiety. “You're a famous teen model, it's only natural that you look like this.”

Talking to him made me feel so much better. I was not honest with Papa, Mama, and my two brothers about my situation. Not wanting to make them hard, I pretended to be tough when I wasn't ready to go out and meet people.

That's why I didn't retaliate when Kak Hadi scolded me for going out of the hotel area without his permission. I am the guilty one. As the firstborn, Adi and I were in his custody. If anything happens to us, then our parents will scold him.

“Are you okay, Dira?” charlotte asked as we prepared to go to sleep.

“Iya. Why do you ask that?” I laid my body on the bed and pulled out a blanket to cover my body.

“You're not usually alone. The Dira I know doesn't like to be alone. Why did you go cycling alone?” ask Charlotte again.

“Entahlah. I don't know either. As I was about to join you, I changed my mind when I saw the bicycle rental sign on the ground floor ceiling. I want to be alone. I want to go far. I want to do anything as long as my heart doesn't hurt anymore. I'm tired of the raging feeling in my chest, Charlotte. I want this pain to go.”

“Dira, forgive me.” Charlotte stood up from the edge of her bed and sat on the edge of my bed. I didn't refuse when he hugged me. “Please, I'm sorry. I was there. I was near you. But I failed to take care of you. I shouldn't have left you alone .. I was wrong to have left you alone ..”

“No, Charlotte. Don't say that. You didn't leave me alone,” I said firmly. “There are many of our teachers, supervisors, and other friends with me. This was a plan they had thought through carefully. They thought about each step well. It's not your fault or anyone else's. It's one of the three of them.”

“Still I feel guilty ...” his prank breaks my heart. This always cheerful girl did not cry in front of me in the least when her love ran aground. But she was crying for me. He was also the first person who came to visit me when I rejected everyone who wanted to see me.

“You want to help me get back up, Charlotte?” askaku expectantly.

“Of course. You helped me a lot when I broke up with that traitor.” I laughed a little at it. He let go of his embrace. Instead of sleeping in her bed, she asked me to shift to make room for her in my bed. “Say, what should I do to help you?”

I decided to speak honestly with him about how I felt. Finally, we talk more openly about our response to what happened recently. Our relationship ran aground, as well as that embarrassing live broadcast. Although we have not found a good enough way to recover, our feelings get better after heart-to-heart talk.

That's why the next morning I had to cry again, I let my body do what it needed to recover. In order for the resting Charlotte to not be disturbed, I sat down on the chair on the balcony and let my tears run down my face.

*******

Meanwhile in a house~

“I agree with Zach. One hundred percent,” said Adhyana, Hendra's biological father. “It's a criminal matter and I disagree when it's solved in a familial manner.”

“But we also need to think about Dira's feelings, dear. You can't force him to testify to things he doesn't want to remember anymore,” said Naava, Hendra's mother, expressing her disapproval.

“I agree with your mama, dear.” Zahara looked at her husband with her eyes clear. “We can't force our daughter to remember that nightmare. He won't be able to.”

“Kak, this case is not easy. Therefore I propose that Dira testify when she is ready.” Zach looked at Zahara and Hendra in turn. “But I do not agree we take the path of peace. And I'm sure, Dira also does not want to take this road.”

“They're back,” lerai Anya, Zahara's birth mother, heard the roar of the car engine entering the yard of the house. “Do not discuss this in front of Dira. We talk about this another time.”

“Why is there noise outside? Did the kids fight?” official word, Zach's wife. He stands. “I'll check their state.”

“I'm coming with you.” Zahara put the cup she was holding onto the table, then followed her sister-in-law out of the living room.