He's The Unaffordable
Chapter 16 - Cowardice

*Colin*

I was getting ready to receive insults or insults when coming to Dira's house. Everyone knows that Dira and I have a serious relationship, even we plan to get married early next year. Right after he was nineteen.

But I didn't get the welcome I expected. Dira greeted me kindly, and so did Mila. There was no anger or jealous look in his eyes as he shook our hands. Was I the one who had been wrong all along?

We have been together for a long time, so our relationship is not like a couple in general. We are like two very close friends. We didn't hug, kiss, didn't even join hands in public or together. We spend time together without disturbing our personal lives.

Dira remains able to focus on school and work as a model, which I am very grateful for. I can focus on college and raising money through my hobbies. There was absolutely no drama of no importance in our relationship. Dira never sulked because of lack of attention, nor did I ever protest with her busyness as a model.

Maybe without realizing it, we don't need each other anymore. He is comfortable in his world, and so am I. Before, this did not bother me, but my eyes have opened now. I did the right thing by taking Mila with me tonight.

Mila has her own charms, I wouldn't bring her here if she wasn't attractive enough to compete with Dira. But any man knows that the beauty of Dira cannot be juxtaposed with anyone. My heart was pounding faster seeing her so beautiful from this close distance. Unfortunately, I have a mission to complete.

What's interesting about Mila is that almost all adults focus on her, including Uncle Hendra and Aunt Zahara. I couldn't sit next to him or stand nearby, so I gave up. I joined Hadi and Adi on a sofa.

They both don't want to see or talk to me. So, I followed what they were doing, busy myself with my phone while eating my food. When my plate was almost empty, I approached the serving table to pick up another meal.

I could see from the corner of my eye that Dira was walking towards me. He whispered as we got closer and asked me to follow him, so I put the plate on the table. Looking at a glass of orange juice, I brought her along with a glass of water for me.

What I expected happened. Dira who first said the word break up. I didn't know that it felt like it was going to hurt like this. He sat in front of me, trying his hardest to be tough, but I could see the hand on his lap trembling.

Ever since I knew him, not once did I intentionally hurt him. I take care of him as best I can. Treat him with respect. But today I have broken the heart of the one I love so much. I wanted to undo all of my stupid plans and persuade him to forgive me and accept me back.

But like a coward, I agreed to all the words he said and walked out of the room after hurting him. What I want has been achieved, but why do I not feel any relief? Why do I feel the floor I stepped on swayed so much that I lost my balance while walking?

I rushed to the front yard feeling my chest so tight. The cool, fresh air that greeted me, helped me to breathe more freely. Unfortunately, my heart that was pounding so hard I couldn't calm down. Her crack hurt my left chest.

“You look like someone who just heard the death sentence from a doctor,” Mila said as we were in the car, heading to the hotel where she was staying.

“My plan succeeded. This is our last meeting, so you don't have to accompany me anymore. I will keep my promise by paying for the three meetings I ordered.”

“Ah, no. You do not have to pay if the third meeting is canceled. I have clients as well while working on missions with you. There is no need to feel responsible for my time that you have booked,” he said declined.

“Mila, I'm not a bad guy. I know you need money, so let's just say I'm grateful for what I expected to happen. Or consider it a bonus. I don't want to hear the word no.”

“But you instead let go of the girl by showing off your fake girlfriend in front of her and her family. Why use this way? Why not talk to him well? Just look at the result, you not only hurt him, you also hurt yourself.”

“Do you always give this lecture to your clients at the end of each meeting?” many of me who started to feel bad were reminded again to have hurt Dira.

“Only on clients who have done stupid things,” he replied indifferently. “I am indeed only your fake girlfriend, but as a woman, I tell you. After what you did, I hope you have no regrets. Because he won't want to come back to you no matter what you do to make him love you again.”

“I will not return to him,” I said firmly. He snorted loudly. “I'm serious. I also won't ask him to come back to me.”

“Betches. In less than a month, you will regret your decision. I'm asking that the money for the three meetings you ordered be transferred to my account, if I'm right. I'll transfer similar amount if you win.”

“OK. Who's afraid?” The amount of money bet was not small, but I did not mind helping a friend when it came to losing that much money. After all my pride refused to be humbled by strangers who felt they knew everything about me.

Almost eleven o'clock at night when I arrived at the apartment. I missed a day without opening a single game I was playing. So that I don't lose the daily rewards that I have to unlock by getting into the game, I have to do it before I go to bed. Tomorrow is Sunday, so I don't have to get up in the morning.

My steps stopped when I saw Dad and Mama sitting in the front seat. I gulped heavily watching Mama signal with her eyes for me to come closer. As I thought Lily was sleeping in her room, the girl passed by in front of me and sat on one of the empty couches. I sat down next to him.

Dad's face looks very serious. He drank the water in a glass, then put it back on the table. He was a friendly and smiling man, so this expression was very rare for him to show. But ever since I made trouble in my own life, that look on my face has become more and more frequent. The mother sitting by his side closed her lips tightly, waiting for Dad to speak.

“We talked about this a few days ago,” Dad said starting the conversation. “I clearly told you to talk to Dira about your relationship. But you feel smarter by acting like a five-year-old.”

Dad looked at me. “Not enough to hurt that poor girl by bringing another woman on your friend's birthday, you should do the same on her birthday in her own house? Whoareyou? You're not the Colin I taught to respect women, no matter who she is. What you're doing is very low and I'm ashamed of you.

“I told you that you are too young to understand the meaning of marriage, but you always insist that you marry him. You will keep all your promises to her and her parents. Then why has it been this way lately? Where is Colin who fell in love with Dira and did not stop fighting for his love?

“Iya, Mila is an interesting girl. But you've met a lot of girls like her and never turned away before. Why are you doing this now? Your marriage is in sight. Hendra and I have even talked about giving you a house as a wedding gift. What should I tell her when my son is acting stupidly by hurting his daughter in his own home?”

Mom touched Dad's hand to calm him down. I realized that what I was doing was unforgivable and no one would be able to understand why I was doing it. But as I told Dira, one day they will understand and forgive me.

“I'm sorry, Dad, Ma. I've let you guys down.” I just bow my head.

“Sorry not enough, Colin.” Dad looked at me seriously. “You should explain to us why you are doing this. Why is it that after all these years, you broke off your relationship this way? Don't lie to me by saying that she's your boyfriend from America. I know he grew up in Indonesia. The accent is not a native American accent.”