He's The Unaffordable
Chapter 73 - I'm Without You

*Clarissa*

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the phone in my hand. In our relationship which can be said to be very short, Hadi diligently contacted me. Though he just wanted to know trivial things like how I am or what I am doing.

But since last night I talked to her and ended our engagement, I didn't stop hoping my phone would shake and her name would adorn the screen. Idiotically. I was so stupid to hurt him, and then I hoped he would come to me again. He is a man with high self-esteem, so I should have known that he would not do such a lowly thing.

“When do you lock yourself in this room, Clarissa?” Charlotte entered the room and walked towards me. I put my phone back on the nightstand. A servant followed him while carrying a tray. He placed two glasses of fruit ice, one large container of fruit ice, and two plates of cake on the table.

“Thank you, Mom,” Charlotte told the waiter. The woman came out of my room after saying goodbye to me. “Come, sit here.” Charlotte patted the empty side of the sofa next to her.

“Why don't you eat with Grandpa and Grandma?” I half dragged my feet towards the sofa and sat next to it.

“And let you mourn your fate alone?” tanyanya sarcasm. He gave me a glass of ice.

“I'm not lamenting fate,” I said quibbling. He rolled his eyeballs.

“Then what do you do by staring at your phone screen from earlier?” he asked with both of his eyebrows raised high. I close my lips. “Waiting for video call from Hadi?” I didn't answer. “Do not expect. He never wants to deal again with people who have hurt him or his family.”

“Colin hurt Dira, he remains good friends with her,” said I defended myself. I immediately closed my mouth with my hand, realizing that I had just justified Charlotte's guess.

He smiled triumphantly. “Colin it's a special case. He was his best friend since they were kids. It cannot be that easy to break a good relationship that has been established for so long. But you know for yourself that Hadi never neglected to protect Dira. Colin never met her again, ‘kan?”

Sometimes I get jealous seeing the closeness of my sister and Hadi. He was much more skilled at reading his mind, guessing his actions further, at a time when I still knew nothing about Hadi. Remembering them friends since they were kids often made me feel alien to being in the middle of him, Dira, and Hadi. I'm jealous to realize that they grew up together, and I didn't.

“After he barely ever lived his day without meeting you or contacting you, he finally stopped calling. Trust me, he won't see you again, Clarissa. He will continue his life, so you should too.” Charlotte put a plate of cake on my hand. “When you're sad, eating a sweet cake will help you feel better.”

“I'm not sad,” I said firmly.

“Ya, yes. Come on, eat the cake.” He put a big spoonful of cake in his mouth.

I took a slow breath, then ate the cake. The sound of vibrating objects on the nightstand immediately distracted me. I hurried to put the dishes on the table, then stood up and approached the phone. But the name Sigit is on the screen. I immediately rejected the incoming call and blacklisted the number.

“Ah .. isn't my dearest Hadi calling?” goda Charlotte's.

“Can you stop teasing me?” my door sat back by his side.

“I can't. Isn't that the point of brother, bothering you until you can't take it anymore?” god with a meaningful smile.

Because I couldn't stand it anymore, I tickled her waist and stomach. He laughed so hard and asked for mercy. But I don't care about it. I kept tickling her waist until she said forgive and gave up.

“OK, okay. Forgiveness.” He laughed out loud. “Ampun, Clarissa.” And I stopped tickling her waist. “Attacking sibling's own weak point is a fraudulent act.”

“Isn't that the point of brother, to know your weak point and make use of it?” I replied to her words earlier. He came back laughing. This time I laughed with him. But the laughter turned into a snooze.

I shook my head. “A-I don't know why I'm crying? My chest suddenly hurt. I, I want to hear Hadi's voice. I want to see his face. Why am I like this? I ended the relationship, but why do I miss him now?”

“Oh, Clarissa ...” I didn't resist the moment Charlotte hugged my body. My tears broke in her arms. “Do you love Hadi?” I'm nodding. “If you love him, why did you break up your relationship?”

“Because I think this is the best way.”

“If this is the best way, then why do you regret it now?”

Because I didn't know it felt like it was going to hurt like this. I didn't say it out loud and chose to be quiet. Charlotte must know why I regret my decision now. He had already suffered a broken heart.

When I came to campus, I asked the driver to drop me off at the entrance to Hadi's department. When I saw the car in the parking lot, I did not find Hadi's car. Then I remembered something, her father had not allowed her to drive again. So it was their driver who drove and picked her up from campus over the past few days.

I was forced to walk towards the building where my major was. I can't possibly stand here and wait to see him come. I still have my pride left. I don't want him to see me here after I cut off our relationship.

Different from the previous week, the students who passed by me no longer looked at me in admiration. They whispered to each other while looking at me from head to toe. It must have something to do with the news that's going on about me.

The men agreed to sue Sigit for breach of the agreement between them. My guess is correct. Some of them used the agreement as a condition before becoming my clients. The agreement was only between them and Sigit, I was not involved at all. So, I can watch from afar how Sigit ruined his own life.

All the slanted news about me was removed by various media outlets that proudly dropped the names of my grandfather and clients. They must now feel the reply to the news they broadcast without prior confirmation with the person in the photos. Grandpa and Grandpa also demand mercilessly against all those who have spread the news through social media.

But the news has already been read by many people and those who know me now know what I am doing to finance my life and education. I didn't let their condescending gazes hurt me. They want to judge me as they like, talk about me as much as they do, I don't care. All of this will surely pass with time.

“So, is that what you're hiding from me?” manda asked as I passed her at the entrance of our lecture hall. “You're afraid I'll be ashamed to be your best friend once I know you work as a campus chicken?”

I walked towards the empty seat in the front row, Manda immediately sat by my side. “Clarissa, I'm not that shortsighted. Had you told me all this, I would have helped you find a better job. Maybe the pay is not as high as giving your body to an older man, but you can still pay for college and your life needs.”

“Manda's right, Clarissa. Why didn't you tell us? My parents had a lot of acquaintances with expensive restaurant owners. They can help you get a more respectable job. With your beautiful face, you must have easily gotten a great tip,” said the student sitting behind me.

“My father can give you a job as a realtor. They often do massive promotions in malls or supermarkets. No matter how many products you sell, you will get a big bonus. That's better than selling yourself,” said another chimed in.

“Do you still accept clients? If so, how much do I have to pay for you to be my girlfriend for one day?” teased one of the young men sitting in the back row.

“She won't want to spend her time with you, stupid. You are too young and it is impossible to have as much money as those old men,” sneered at the young man sitting by his side. They both laughed followed by all the students in the room.

The lecturer who would teach entered the room and greeted us all. The atmosphere became silent at once. I attended lectures without caring about anything people say or do near me. I'm sure they'll get bored by themselves if I don't respond.

I know that my work will lead to pros and cons. The best way is not to give any response. Since I answered no matter how, they had already labelled me badly. Moreover, all this time I have not been friends with any of them.

At lunchtime, I plan to eat in the lecture hall. But friends still felt at home inside, so I chose to find a place away from the crowd. Hadi and Colin did not stand where they had been while waiting for me so we could have lunch together. I'm really alone now.