He's The Unaffordable
Chapter 125 - Abstinence

“Honey,” said Colin who held my hand so as not to keep walking backwards. “You've arrived here. Don't stop just because they're staring at you like that.”

“No. N-no, Colin. I can't do this.” I looked back and saw my only exit from this place.

“Dira,” call Colin again, but I don't care about it. “They are all your rivals, so they will do anything to make you give up. The three evil people had been imprisoned for a long time. You're innocent, stop punishing yourself, baby.”

“No, I can't. Let them get that job. I can't.” I shook my head quickly.

“Honey, if you back off now, you will never be able to go forward again. Is that what you want? Are you ready to give up your dream? You're used to their former gaze often demeaning you, doubting you can become a great model without the influence of Uncle Hendra's name. Then what's the difference with their attitude now?” colin said again.

I stopped pulling my hand from her hearing that sentence. Yes, this was my dream since childhood. I like to appear and pose in front of the camera, introduce new products or wear the latest design clothes to many people. My current position I reached with sweat and tears. Colin's right. This is not the first time I have faced the gaze of those who judge me. All of us in this place are rivals.

“They used to mock you for using Uncle's power to get a job, but you managed to show that their accusation was not true. Now you need to be stronger, baby. Show them that you are not defeated by the three wicked men.” Colin wiped the hair that covered my face behind my ears.

I looked at him, then glanced at Vikal who was smiling at me before looking at Colin again. “You're right. I can't lose. Vivaldo and Nora didn't manage to destroy me.”

“This is new my dear!” He kissed my forehead. I smiled feeling her love and care for me. “Don't forget what we discussed last night. If the jury humbles you in there. Show them who Erendira Bella Mighty is.”

I hugged her body, inhaling deeply the scent of her perfume that I chose to give strength to me. He returned my embrace and continued to say words to comfort me. When I heard his words, I opened my eyes and smiled.

Yes, I love this job. I won't let anyone take it from me. Many people have supported me since the beginning I auditioned for auditions until there was one designer who wanted to use my services. Until one by one the products asked me to be their advertising model. I don't want to back off now.

“Participant number two hundred one to three hundred, please get ready.” There was an announcement over the loudspeaker. There were many people who had originally sat standing, then walked following the instructions of the committee.

“Dira, this is your number. Come on, it's your turn to show gear.” Vikal gives a card with the number two hundred and fifty-six on one side. She helped put that number on my shirt right at the bottom of my chest.

They took me to the queue according to my number. “I'll wait here. Good luck.” Colin gave me spirit. I nodded quickly.

“Success for you, baby,” said Vikal would not lose. Colin glared at her hearing the affection. I laughed at their behavior.

In choosing a model for a fashion show, the jury would simply ask us to walk on the catwalk. But not infrequently, one of them would ask us to stop and answer whatever questions they had. It just happened the first time I started modeling. Once they knew who I was, they stopped figuring out everything about me.

There is no term of winning or losing in this audition. Designers have the right to determine which model fits the theme of the outfit they will be exhibiting. Despite my above-average height, I wasn't always the choice of these famous designers. Moreover, I deliberately did not manage my body so that the clothes I was wearing could fit in my body.

“You sure win easy. The judges have seen your real body without clothes.” Someone behind me sneered while laughing. I again felt uncomfortable, but I cast a spell on my head to calm myself down. I can get through this. I can get through this.

“This designer will not choose him. You guys just look. He is known for his integrity and only choosing models with perfect backgrounds. Dira is no longer included in that criteria. We both know he deliberately hired people to make that live broadcast. Who does not know Mahendra Mighty? The man will do anything to get a success, including showing his own daughter's body,” said another.

“Heh!!” That sentence crossed the line. “You can insult me. Caci just tell me as you like. But don't bring my papa's name. He's an honorable man who won't do what you're accused of. The trial for the abuse committed against me was broadcast publicly. You know who's at fault, so stop blaming the victim.”

“What, anyway, can't be done if you have money? Stop, Dira. Not everyone can be stupid. We know you were just pretending to be unconscious on that video. You did it to smooth your way back to the model world, ‘kan? Use academic reasons, but you still have time to shoot video poorno,” said the girl in my front row. They all laugh.

“May you all never experience the thing that befalls me,” I said in a loud voice so that those standing near me heard it. They're even laughing. I can't continue my sentence. But it's better this way. Because whatever I say, they won't care. They only want to believe what is in their head, not the facts.

“You better focus on auditions. The line in front of you is already on the way. Don't let me die, because it was your selfish act,” said one of the participants behind me.

The person in my front row panicked and saw that what the girl said was true. The line in front of them had already walked into the inside of the tent. I took a deep breath and let out slowly. Time to show teeth.

One by one people went onto the catwalk and came back again in the same time frame. But when it was my turn, the person in front of me took longer to return. The man in front of me spoke to his friend through the small microphone in front of his mouth. He must have talked to his friend from the audition committee.

“You just come in. Time keeps going. Don't forget the instructions from us.” The man shifted so I could walk out from backstage.

I remember their instructions well. The steps were similar to the auditions I was used to. Walking into the stage, then posing for a moment in the middle of the stage banner, continued walking to the end of the catwalk, then stopping in front of the judges.

There were not many people in the tent other than the committee, invited guests, and the jury. But I just focused on looking in front of me. I turned around and walked towards the center of the stage to turn again to face the judges and pose for the last time. When I turned around, something blocked my steps so I lost my balance and fell. I heard the surprised breath of everyone around me.

The atmosphere was silent for a moment so I could listen to my own heartbeat. My face was hot, because the shame fell on the most important moment. I immediately took a deep breath to calm myself down, then stood up, and walked back to the backstage. I wasted no time in checking what caused me to fall.

An important principle in a fashion show is that the show must keep going, no matter what. Falling down while walking on the catwalk is a common thing that does not need to be exaggerated. So, I use it to show my attitude when unexpected things happen in the show. Too bad, this is not what I planned to do when I returned to my world.

Colin immediately greeted me when I was backstage. I breathed a sigh of relief to be around him again. He smiled and hugged me tightly. “You're great, baby! Whatever the result.”

“Although I failed and did not get the job?” godaku's.

“There are still many other auditions you can join.” Colin let go of his embrace. “What's up? You're pounding like this did something happen earlier?”

“Dira darling, what happened to your knee?” Vikal looked at my feet worriedly. Colin and I checked my knee.

When I fell down, I felt no pain anywhere in my body. Perhaps it was because of the most controlling shame that I did not feel the impact of my downfall on my physique. As soon as I heard Vikal's words and saw for myself the state of my feet, a tremendous pain came from both of my knees.