For Redanya Rain, You & Mau.
Episode 1's

" Well, what else should I do, Estu?."

" Everything seems to be in the final with your family, your extended family, all agreeing that I deserve you to leave."

" I know, I was wrong with you. The big mistake that will be my disgrace, my lack of my whole life in the eyes of your family.?!"

" But please, help you think clearly.don't just say yes to your family.!?"

" please remember Danesh, please remember our son Arcelio.repeatedly I said, I do not want my son to suffer the same fate as I used to.Separation only sacrifices children only."

" Have you not been sure how I am doing to improve myself.improve our relationship Estu..iya?" I said a little quickly.

Only the sound of Pangestu's sigh came from the phone I was holding.

" i don't know how, what should I do.??" said.

" Yes you still love me not the same Estu, still want not to continue our family.!?''

" do not take actions that you do not want, just because of the insistence of your family."

" already kha, I'm dizzy.I'm tired.!" he said while cutting off the conversation.

" hello..hello...hello Estu?!" I said while looking at the phone I was holding.

Well, maybe the fate of my marriage is now on the edge.

I admit, it was me who made a mistake that I played with fire with other women who might have tried at first.

yes, try to glance at younger women.follow the office friends whose hobbies are like that.

and the woman was Livia, who was still the cousin of my own friend. Severely, I foiled her marriage plans at that time with someone named Amar, a man from Palangkaraya.

yes, I'm just a fool, trying to blame others for my mistakes, blaming my friend's friends who affect me.

It's my own fault why stupid, to be affected.

But it may be because try, iseng or what I am with Livia. In the end I put a very deep sense of her, he said,feel again what is the name of falling in love.feel again what is drunk kepayang and crazy about him.I am finally dead love against him, and decided to want polygamy. I shared my heart and my life with two women. Pangestu and Livia.

hahahah.at that time I didn't feel myself stupid.

Stupid, because I was not aware of hurting my wife Pangestu's heart and feelings.not aware because Pangestu has a very big and solid family who also feel hurt.

And I'm sorry now it feels more useless and pointless.

" So, now what do you want to do?" ask Ade, a friend of mine.

I just shake slowly.

" I don't know, you want to hire a lawyer and eweh money!?" i said listlessly.

he patted my shoulder.

" As long as you don't want to divorce her.insyaallah won't intercept your relationship with Estu?" said encouraging.

I just stared at him with a thin smile.

" If not, you try to talk to your family kha. by the way you need a lawyer?!" continued Ade. I looked back at her. bitter smile.

if only I could tell you how my family, their response to what I'm going through. It even adds to the pain I don't want to tell you.

Remembering again I will meet me and my neighbor, when I dare to come to his house that can not be said to be simple. Two-story house with vehicles lined up in his house.

" Every time you come here, there's just a problem, right.?" he said a little bit.

" not you, Ridwan is not the same as his money" he said

" if Estu wants a divorce, yes wae.biarin aja, will he be sued.you will not spend this money kha?!" he said with a rather high tone.

I just kept quiet and looked in her direction a little.

" moreover, in two months Iqbal wants a proposal, Nissa wants to go to college.?" said

" Dueh there is money, but all want to kepake kha. ga can still give loan to you."

" Our advice anyway, it's already Estu want to see where you want to divorce. leave it alone."

" as long as you refuse, can't another divorce mah!?"

" if you get a divorce mah.can you marry again, it's more than Estu - you this man, can choose what he wants.?" he said Tampa load.

It felt like it was crying out to me. Many times I said he did not want a divorce as if he did not care.who he cares, his money was not borrowed by me.

Is this karma my God?? for what I did to Estu.

Like no one wants to help me and my son, I'm struggling so I don't get divorced with Estu. I don't think any of my family cares,support me so as not to part with Estu, pay attention to the psychology of my son later.

Not that they also know what it's like to be a stepchild, it's like to be a half child in a new family.

Being a child who doesn't know who to complain to? just to complain or have a photo at school graduation with parents, and many others.

With an uncorrupted feeling at that time I say goodbye to my teteh. I can not tell my disappointment.

I don't dispute every word that comes out of his mouth.

I only blame myself.why come to someone who does not care about you, why rely on others.I should take responsibility myself.because this is the result of my mistakes.

" Heeh kha, kok even diem I gave that advice to you??" ask Ade who broke my daydream.

I'm staring at her.

" Mending do not bother sodara lah de, all this time they also have me hard right??" answer me bitterly.

******

" lt... Tomorrow when I go home, buy Crayon's brother Pa??" . I hear Danesh's voice on the phone.

" yes, will you buy me.oiya sister Fussy not brother?" ask her.

" Hmm..no the hell pa. just can not diem aja Acel if already a toy. what is in random random random?" he said with a small laugh telling his sister's behavior.

Then he rambled around, telling his daily life with his sister.

There was a painful and bitter feeling, I wanted to apologize to my two children.

I want to feel like I'm hugging them. I honestly miss them, it's been almost three months I haven't met her.

Estu was picked up by her master's men, taking her home to them.

last I heard, Estu lived in the Contract house close to her office, while my two children, Danesh and Arcelio were in my in-laws' house.