Pursuing My Husband's First Love
The corner of Moses' heart

Moses Hamizan

"Sorry, Deck. Mas ... couldn't help myself," I said after realizing I had fucked my wife in an open room like this.

Our lips were still wet, I wiped Medina's lips together, she smiled wryly.

"Medina was also carried away, Mas," he said shyly.

Honestly, I used to .. I fucked her not with love. But, obligation. Guilt always arises when he sees Medina's eyes, he is full of love when he does, but .. I?

Ah, stupid me.

Now, I'll take care of all your pain. Not just an obligation, but a sense of love that makes my heart beat hard because nervous every do it.

I love you, Dek. Really-love you.

The seed of love you planted has grown and is deeply rooted in my heart. With patience, sacrifice, and tears, this love thrives, and steadfastly challenges the rain, or the storm.

"I hope I can make you happy, Dek," I said.

"Medina is happy, Mas. Didn't Moses love Medina?" ask Medina to make sure.

"You must have felt it, Dek."

Of course I love him, until it's hard for my mouth to string words together to admit it. But by proving, you'll be happy.

Medina again leaned her head on my shoulder. Our two hands are interlocked. After I remember back, it was rare to spend time with my wife talking like this.

The night is getting closer to the early morning, the cold air is not as usual. There was Medina beside me, making me feel warm.

"Mas, Medina was sincere in everything that had happened," Medina said suddenly, her long-cherished gaze sweeping across the sky.

"You mean, Deck?"

"Medina sincerely became the wife of Mas Musa, with all the processes that Medina had to go through before, Medina happy," Medina commented.

"Don't start again, Deck. Mas asked you to say pain, if what you feel is really pain," I said as I turned to him, trying hard to read his eyes, I always wondered what was in his heart when pretending to be okay.

Medina smiled, and looked back at me with a sneer. I really don't understand this woman's heart, sometimes she looks really responsible sometimes she looks shed tears behind her smile.

Unsatisfied, he continued with a small laugh.

"Mas ... Medina was happy, "she said with earnestness after she stopped laughing.

"Indeed, Medina's journey to get Mas Musa's heart was not easy, Medina had to endure pain, Medina's heart was broken, but Medina could still get through all because Medina was sure, Medina, one day, surely, Moses will love Medina" said Medina, if she knew how much it hurt me to remember her suffering.

"When it hurt, but now .. when Medina remembered it again, Medina felt victorious and of course happy," said Medina again, I slowly expressed Medina's heart word for word.

"It does not mean that Medina won because she managed to get Mas Musa by defeating Mba Mariam, but because Medina managed to defeat Medina's own inability" explained Medina.

"It was Medina who asked for polygamy, isn't it funny that Medina complained of pain?" medina.

I can only smile at his words, his perspective is always positive, and his nature is always optimistic, responsible for whatever has been his choice with a heart that is always prejudiced on the destiny of Allah.

I admire you, Dek.

"Medina was sincere ..," Medina paused her words, she seemed to arrange her tears for a moment, "... Medina sincerely with Mas Musa's love for Mba Mariam, Medina sure all will pass."

Ah, I almost forgot, Medina must have seen my phone screen earlier.

I stared fixedly at her eyes, a gentle-hearted angel who had to feel pain for being my wife, a Moses whose heart was full of shortcomings. Medina, she's a woman whose jealousy is different from other women out there.

Your jealousy makes my heart ache.

"Dek .. you're right, Mariam is in my heart, but let time erase her. Isn't it weird that you can forget about it in the blink of an eye?" I tried to find the right words to explain my heart really.

"Of course, Mas. If Mas Musa were that easy to forget Mba Mariam, it was that easy that Mas Musa would forget Medina one day," said Medina chimed, and it was true, and indeed, he was able to capture what I was trying to convey.

"But everything is different now, maybe it used to be there, burning, and growing. However, this time, the love was no longer growing, no longer burning, he was just stored away, like a flower he would wither, until that time will turn it into a memory corner that certainly gives us extraordinary wisdom."

Medina smiled again, I don't know how hard it is to put words together. I want to honestly tell myself what I am, Mariam is still there, her story alone, no longer her love feelings.

"Medina understands, Mas. Let him in there. Medina won't bother him" he said.

"Yes, we're not gonna mess with him." I purposely pressed our words so that Medina would know I was with her

"Everything about you has taken my life, Dek."

"Your heart has succeeded in guiding the heart of the mas trapped by the past. Your love gives you the light to find the exit from the dead end. Thanks to you, you have been born into a new soul."

"Mas will continue to learn to understand you, understand you, so that you can repay your love many times more than the love you have given so far."

I saw Medina's eyes glazed over, I don't know, could there be something wrong with my words?

"Why are you crying, Dek?" my question while rubbing the clear grain in the corner of the net.

"Medina still does not believe, Allah granted all the prayers of Medina so beautifully. It was like a dream to reach out to my own husband's love" Medina replied slightly.

Subhanonh ....

Is that his love?

Yes Alloh, enable me to be a good husband to him, your favors are so beautiful.

Especially Medina.

Wait, Dek, you're gonna make you happy.

If asked, do I regret my marriage to Mariam?

Answer, no.

Without marrying Mariam I would have reached my present self. And maybe my house trip and Medina will be different. There is no guarantee my household would be better off without Mariam present, given my naive and stupid self.

It feels cowardly if you have to regret the marriage, especially regret the child in the womb Mariam.

I see it as a destiny that must happen and I must go through. Each of us became a better person. This is an expensive and valuable life lesson.

Where love makes all have to fall awake, shuffled, languished, disappointed, forced to be strong, be patient, until unconsciously we have become a figure of a heart that is really strong.

I let you go, Mar. Your love, and all the feelings in my heart for you that have been eating away at my life for years.

I also understand your wounds, hoping that this separation can make you freely look at the sun to continue life without the burden of love from me and the status of honey that Medina pinned.

Step away and throw away your love for me, a man who once claimed to love you so much, but in fact I am the one who inflicts the deepest wounds on your heart and life. I hope to see your smile again, a smile that looks beautiful when we first meet again. I'm sure your life will be happy even without Biantara, I know you're strong and strong.

Thank you for loving me and for letting me love you. Thank you for letting me try to stand by you, even if I fail. I will forget all the valuable lessons of our long journey. Thank you for insisting on going and giving me a chance to realize that by my side I was waiting for the angelic hearted woman.

Morning has come, the whole house is busy with its own needs. I have to get ready for college, and Mother, Medina, Mba Lastri will travel to my hometown with Mr. Iwan.

"Titip Medina yes, ma'am," I told my mother.

"Yes, you take care of yourself, just calm down I'll take care of your wife."

I kissed her hands and she hugged me, her eyes were sad, there were so many words that I couldn't say.

"It's all gonna get better, ma'am. Soon, the mother's house will be crowded by the mother's grandchildren's cries."

"Don't support your mother, strengthen yourself" he said as he got into the car.

Medina waved her hand, as the moving steering and spinning wheels carried my loved ones away.

I rushed to my car and encouraged myself to prepare for teaching at the last time.

🍀🍀🍀

Mariam Maulida

If you ask a woman who has been cheated on, which is better, your husband went for another woman or your husband died?

She would choose her husband to die.

But if you ask a woman like me, whose husband has died, then I will choose my husband to go with another woman.

Although the concept of my marriage is not infidelity, it is essentially the same, the willingness of my heart is questioned.

I tried to shut my ears to the news of such a wild bird out there. I have to protect the baby in my womb so that it grows well. I regretted after a few times I almost lost it because of my incompetence.

Ah, this child is still my sustenance.

If they knew, how my heart is now, would they still use me?

Anyone can walk the same path as me, but still, our shoes are different.

This is how I, who still chose divorce even though new lives were growing in my womb. Ah ... Tired of trying to explain to everyone, I should just be quiet and just close my ears considering so many mouths that talk without knowing what the truth is.

My body is still weak, but I miss my convention. It was there that I felt the presence of Biantara that kept pushing me to think positively and move forward.

I forced Mas Faisal to come along just to see the greatness of managing my business and people. I also invited Octavia so that we would spend a lot of time together again.

"Mah .. it's the same car that Abi's car," Okta said when our car accidentally met at a residential intersection.

The two cars that Okta pointed to went hand in hand, Mas Faisal stopped and let them use the road first.

I am grateful that my son is not with them.

"Well, Okta wants to be with Abi and Eyang" whined Okta.

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