Pursuing My Husband's First Love
The corner of Moses' heart

Such is the woman, as clear as any truth she has known, she still wants another clarity, or even another lie. Asking her something she already knew, testing something she realized would hurt.

"Mas, just tell the same story Medina said who Mariam, do not be harbored alone who knows with Mas share Mas will find a way out and Mas will be free from whatever it is that makes Mas locked," persuade Medina confidently, is it true that my Medina is this fresh?

"Mas will tell me who Mariam is."

"It's okay if Mas wants to cover up everything from Medina, but if Mas lied to himself then I don't know when Mas will find a way out, Medina is here as your friend Mas, too, share honestly, let Mas be relieved," continued Medina, what is her heart made of?

His eyes grew bolder and more boldly glared at me, showing his strong firmness and ready to welcome my weak heart. Is this sholeh's wife? She was completely different from other women. I'm sure this is my way out.

"Mariam, it was a mistake I made. Mas knew him when he was Junior High, when lust still colonizes this naive heart, mas realize the bond of men and women before marriage is sin but the faith is very weak and carried away by the flow of feelings, and not at the right time. No matter how good Mariam and mas were, we were equally wrong to have followed lust, knitting feelings in an unwholesome bond and accepting the hurt feelings that followed as punishment."

"Did Mariam get the same punishment?" ask Medina.

"So, he decided not to wait anymore. She started a new life and has been married to a man who never made her wait, she shut down all communication so I don't know anymore. She was living happily with a man of her choice, he married not long after telling that he could no longer wait for mas and instead considered himself as a barrier to achieve what became the ideals of mas. Mas sure she had felt pain but mas sure her husband was able to make her happy, in a halal bond, blessings, and diridhoi Alloh."

"Surely it is, same mas you Dek, mas sure that Adek can make mas happy." I saw her eyes glazed over, but what was in her heart I could not read.

"Medina's in charge of making Mas forget about Mariam?"

"No, be Moses' wife, Mariam must be erased."

"What kind of reality do you dream about Mariam every night?"

"Pulner of guilt."

"What is it about?"

"Mas doesn't know Dek either, sorry. Mas felt that he had hurt her, in fact he proposed to get married immediately, but our age was still too young and mas did not have a job, how to live it? He said I was obsessed with surpassing Mas Harun, so I tried desperately to pant to and fro looking for a scholarship. He felt that I was ignoring him, and finally decided to leave. He didn't even give me a chance to apologize and chose to shut down all communication access."

"In a dame dream of seeing Mariam cry, she always said that she had to break her own wings, just for the sake of getting a little courage to get away from the mas."

"Mas still loves Mariam?" Medina's eyes held me sharp and because I remembered Mariam I forgot to close the window of my heart.

"No, Deck." Medina was stunned at my answer, I was sure she knew my answer was still half-hearted.

"Forget the Deck, let's start our new lives" I continued later.

"Well Mas, Medina will respect Mariam as the past, may Mariam also be really happy and now it is Mas's turn to get that happiness."

"Thank you for your wisdom Deck, and until you run out of words to see your wise heart, you will try to be a good husband and priest to you Deck,"

"Aren't you angry, Dek?"

"No Mas, Medina even seneng Mas can believe and the same story Medina, do not hesitate Mas I'm your wife."

"Alhamdulillah .. but Dek, you deserve to be disappointed after knowing the other side of me Dek, mas is not a sholeh man as you think, used to be a mas ever mistaken."

"No, you are still the best. Medina was just afraid she wasn't happy."

"Thank you, Deck,!"

"Together Mas, Medina will try hard to be the woman that Mas wants, do not hesitate to reprimand if Medina is wrong or do not hesitate to ask Medina to do something, as long as it makes Mas happy Medina must do." Medina said with complete confidence and confidence it was contagious to me, Medina was indeed an extraordinary woman, she was young and not easy to give up, which other favors I denied.

"Get out of words Deck, thank you!"

"Love Medina Mas! Medina will go to great lengths to deserve my love."

"Definitely Deck," I hugged her who was fervently professing her love for me, I hope her love soon reaches me and really makes my feelings for Mariam neutral.

I gently stroked her hair, and I kissed her forehead many times. I'm sorry I imagined you as Mariam.

"Mas let's eat the hammer!" take Medina to clear my mind.

"Alright, Deck!"

Medina immediately opened the martabak package I was carrying, her face was now beaming. Strange indeed, it would be more common if she was jealous or angry, but Medina instead looked happy, and the stranger I contracted the feeling of happiness that she radiated.

"Mas, Medina likes the chocolate cheese martabak but prefers the nut chocolate."

"Good Deck, tomorrow I'll buy you a chocolate bean."

Medina fed me tenderly, we teased each other with a simple joke. Medina smiled and even laughed, her attitude was able to make me comfortable and happy.

This feeling I had never felt before, felt light, as if my heavy burden had been lifted. It turns out that I just have to share. I am happy with this marriage, the process of recognizing each other in a legitimate bond is indeed beautiful. Medina was 7 years younger than me, but her attitude matured through myself. I'm more and more convinced, I can definitely let go of my feelings for Mariam, the special lady, it's just that time has been wrong to bring us together.

I'm sure he's happy wherever he is now. Honestly, I had a little hope of meeting you, no! Looking from afar is okay. But my desire to forget her is so great, what is Medina's whereabouts now, she would be hurt if she knew there was another woman in the corner of her husband's heart.

'Blessed are you Mariam, wherever you are.'

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