Pursuing My Husband's First Love
The Inner Wrestling of Medina

Medina daydreamed a lot throughout that day. Various bad possibilities were plunging wildly into his mind. The shadow of Moses and Mariam's dancing faces alternately worsened her mood.

Sometimes he decides to speak truthfully and is prepared to accept whatever the reality is later, but the next second his heart changes, looking for safety by letting Mariam detonate her own time bomb. Then, his heart changed again. Keep going, tossed around an overwhelming dilemma.

Not a thing that he could decide easily, considering he also had feelings and fear of loss. However, the principle of truth that was embedded in her heart, did not allow her to cover up what Mariam was trying to hide. Medina's logic and heart continue to fight, her ego and morals both want to win.

"Dec, what's wrong with you?" moses asked, "Mas watch you daydream and your food is just stirred up."

"Ehm .. no papa, ma'am."

"Look, your attitude is cold too. What was? Did your mom go to the supermarket alone? Tumben, why don't you wait for a holiday tomorrow?"

"Medina's just tired, Mas. There was an urgent item to be bought."

"Don't go alone again, Deck. Look at your belly is so big, if anything happens,"

"Part of Medina escorted by Mr. Iwan, Kok." Her mood made Medina talk, her heart felt guilty for having to be quiet with such a big reality.

"Sir, I'm sorry if yesterday's words hurt your heart." Musa took the initiative to dilute Medina, considering her answer to Medina's question yesterday might hurt Medina.

"Hhhh? Medina's not hurt, Medina's just tired, Mas."

"Yes, you sleep in the same room with mom."

"Medina cape but not sleepy, Mas."

"Hem, want to go for a walk?" as for Moses, Medina looked flatly at her husband.

"We go to the city park and look at the scenery" Moses said again, "Mas you rarely say anything, look at your face so tangled."

Medina agreed, maybe the hustle and bustle of the crowd could give her peace. Moses said goodbye to his mother. The car drove slowly, leaving the housing complex and began to climb the bustling city streets.

Many street vendors who add to the crowded atmosphere of the night, young people passing by in groups some are paired.

"Tumben Mas hangs Medina out like this?" ask Medina.

"Yes, sorry for rarely taking you for a walk, Dek. Hem ... What do you want to eat, Dek? Lots of snacks here."

"Hem ... anything, Mas."

"Then wait here well, buy the same drink as the first snack."

Moses went mingling with the crowded queue in the street vendor area. Medina was happy with the simple treatment of Moses these days. However, a fear hid in the recesses of his heart.

"I should be happy, in fact I'm anxious because I have to keep all this from you, Mas" muttered Medina.

"What should I do?!"

Medina covered both hands on her face, for her it was not that simple to hide a secret from her husband. Shutup? But his life was terrorized, restless and full of fear. Talkin? But the risk is too great, and her happiness is again threatened.

"Dec? You why?" ask Moses who has returned.

"Huh?" Medina realized that Moses was in front of her.

"You sick? Let's go home, yeah?" tawar Musa saw the state of Medina getting chaotic.

"Medina is fine, Mas. Here sit!" Medina tried to regain control of herself, making a forced smile.

However, the moment of going together like this is rarely there considering the busyness of her husband so far, so that her husband's free time still has to be divided.

"You're weird, Deck. Tell me, what and how? What's wrong?"

"Rem ... Medina is fine, Mas. Believe me!"

"Sir, I've learned that your fine speech still has to be questioned, I don't want to be cheated again this time. Tell me, what's up?"

Medina grabs her husband's hand and pulls him to sit, after which he rests on her husband's shoulder spoiled. His hand grabbed the drink Moses had brought and drank it.

Moses only kept quiet with Medina's treatment, letting her do what she wanted to do. Waiting for Medina to finish drinking her drink.

"Enak, Mommy. Thank you, ", said Medina.

"You like it, Deck?"

"Like. Hmmm ...." Medina inhaled a long, cold night air, as if that air could wipe away the tightness in her chest.

"Let's say Medina is happy, Mas" said Medina.

Moses stretched out his arms and hugged Medina beside him.

"Say all your wishes, Deck. Mas will make it happen one by one and make you happy."

Medina smiled, her eyes looking far away. His heart warmed up expelling the slight tightness and uneasiness within. This hug can always bring calmness in his mind. At once the embrace he feared would disappear.

"Medina wants Moses forever."

Moses smiled at his wife.

"Thank you, Deck. For being great by being patient with me. Believe me, there's always a reason why everything has to happen, even if it hurts, and it breaks your heart."

"We may be angry and disappointed, but understand, all just because we don't know, the reason why everything has to happen. He always gives us his best-case scenario. One day we will understand and in the end we will also smile realizing, indeed this is the best," said Moses, trying to calm Medina despite not knowing what was happening to her.

Medina gasped at the words of her husband. Heart's shaken.

'Right, it may be painful but .. I have nothing to lose if I hold on to the principle of truth, ' Medina's inner self.

"Mas .. can Medina ask you something?"

"Did Moses love me?"

"Of course, Deck. Love you and our future children of course. You two are my reasons for being good and better, you are the world and everything."

Medina blushed at her husband's answer, yet she didn't want to be late for too long.

"Has Mas loved me more than Mas loved Mba Mariam?"

"Don't talk about Mariam again, Deck. It's all done."

"The feeling of Mas may have been finished, but .. silaturahmi still have to be intertwined, right?" Moses looked at Medina.

"You're worried about Octavia?" guess Moses, but Medina shook her head slowly.

"If you're worried about it, I'll try to talk to you."

"No, Mas. Medina agrees with the noble deed that you want to do. Octavia orphans, and according to the story Mba Lastri mother is fond of caring for orphans because the mother also bore the education of Mba Lastri children. Medina is proud to have such kind-hearted in-laws like her. No wonder, whatever the business of the Mas family must always succeed."

"So?"

"It's not about Octavia, I love her. After all, she's been a bait and managed to get Medina pregnant."

"What are you trying to say, Dek?"

"Nothing, Mom. Medina just wants to know .. how much Medina means to Mas Musa's heart."

"You are half my soul, Dek" said Moses quickly.

"Stop comparing yourself to Mariam, you guys are so different. You're even more radiant than Mariam, don't make me feel guilty by continuing to bring up the story, Dek. I am ready to replace those days with happiness. Whatever your wound, it'll heal."

"really?"

"Of course, Deck." Moses' reply convinced Medina.

"Mas ... Medina does not want to be a bad wife.But ... Medina also did not want to lose Mas Musa" said Medina.

Medina's tears began to decay, her hands clutching tightly to Moses' hands even with a slight tremble. Medina lowered her head trying to master the turmoil of her fighting heart. As Moses was astonished at him, he wondered what made his wife so sad.

"Dad?"

"So ...." Medina gathered strength to look into Moses' eyes.

"Say, Mas. How should medina? Medina could not lose Mas Musa and Medina could not share Mas Musa anymore. But, Medina also could not have Mas Musa with a lie."

"What's really going on?" moses did not understand.

"There's one thing Medina just learned today. Medina lied about going to the supermarket. Actually ...."

"Medina tried to meet Mba Mariam."

"Sir, stop looking for it if it only makes you hurt, please but keep your heart also bo-"

"Mba Mariam was hospitalized" Medina said, cutting off Musa's words.

Moses was silent at the news, while Medina was busy bracing herself.

"Mariam is not alone, Dek. A lot of people around him who care about him, you can just visit but don't make it a burden."

"Mas ... Mba Mariam actually ...."

"Daddy, stop. Mas please! Let's live a life that's just about us. I've sincerely released Mariam and all our past stories, isn't that enough for you, Dek?"

"Say! What else do you have to do to stop prying about Mariam?" Moses was tired of Medina.

"But, Mas! This is not what I want!"

"What suit, Deck?" moses asked in despair.

"Mas just ask you to also forget Mariam, mas has submitted a letter of resignation, at least one more month we can leave this city. All mas do so that you calm down and stop remembering or bringing up all about Mariam."

Medina was still silent, but her chest was still pounding. Moses grabbed Medina's arms and looked her in the eyes.

"Let's live a new life, Dek!" moses said softly.

"But Mba Mariam is pregnant, Mas!" medina at the end.

"What?!"

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