Pursuing My Husband's First Love
It rained that afternoon

MEDINA POV

Am I okay?

A lie!

The hardest part was when the radiance of love for Mariam was still very burning in Mas Musa's eyes, but I had to look fine.

The sick part was when Mas Musa said he did not love Mariam but his name was still spoken in every dream.

And the saddest part was when I asked Mas Musa to love me when I knew his heart was full of Mariam.

Suddenly I felt in front of me stretched a sharp, uphill, and winding rocky path. It's hard but I have to keep going and fight for my husband. I want her love for me as deep as her love for Mariam, I want myself to be worth Mariam, I want myself to be able to shift Mariam's position.

All day long I cry, it will not be easy for me to enter into the heart of Moses. What am I supposed to do? While I had to contend with something invisible to the eye, unpalpable by the hand, and unable to predict by taste.

I'm competing with the past who've stolen the start to love and be loved, even first hurt and hurt. What am I supposed to do?

I believe Mas Musa was trying to love me, he treated me very romantically and his attitude, his attention, showed that Mas Musa was really trying. I remained happy even though I was fully aware, Mas Musa did all that not because he wanted to love me, but because he wanted to erase his feelings for Mariam. I also realized that the greater Mas Musa's efforts showed that his feelings for Mariam were also great.

"Mariam ... Mariam ... !" Mas Musa's voice woke me up again one night, Mas Musa again delirious, this is the 2nd time after my conversation with Mas Musa the other day, it has been much reduced but in fact still have to be patient until it is completely lost.

We looked at some sheets of tissue to wipe the sweat on Mas Musa's face, even though the room temperature was quite cold but the sweat was still pouring profusely along with the dream about Mariam.

"Mas ... Mas ... wake up Mas ... !" I shook the body of Moses.

"Mariah ... !" Moses got up with a little scream from his mouth.

How much my heart aches every time the name is uttered from the lips of Moses, it feels like it is torn to shreds by an invisible knife, my tears this time escaped no longer able to cover my pretense of trying to be okay in front of Mas Musa. Fortunately the dark room lights, Mas Musa could not see these tears of honesty.

Moses pulled me into his arms, and I felt his heart beating, his breath panting as if he had run after Mariam. I returned his embrace, I drowned my face in the embrace of Mas Musa, my tears continued to flow into the sweat of Mas Musa, whether Mas Musa realized it or not.

'Show my husband the way Ya Alloh, so that he may escape what leaves him shackled, strengthen my heart to remain able to pretend to be okay.'

After I felt the breath of Mas Musa come back into order and made sure he fell asleep, I intended to pull myself out of the arms of Mas Musa.

"Don't Deck, just like this!" I gasped, but Moses did not fall asleep again.

"If Mariam is a nightmare, then Mas hope you are the cure Deck," he said gently, again I melted with the treatment of Mas Musa.

"Yes Mas ...."

Not felt, my marriage with Mas Musa has been running for 6 months but somehow not yet seen signs of my pregnancy. Inevitably I was stricken with great anxiety, I wanted to get pregnant immediately and give a happiness to Mas Musa. The question of my mother-in-law and my mother-in-law further added to the anxiety in my heart, what makes me not yet given the confidence to get pregnant?

Although Mas Musa looked relaxed and did not sue me, but I knew deep down he also could not wait to have a child soon. A child I hoped would help wipe out Mariam.

"Don't bring sad Dek, it will be even more difficult. A woman must be happy and should not be stressed, if you are not happy it means Mas who failed as Dek's husband," said Mas Musa one day.

"Let's go to doctor Mas, join the promil!" I ventured to invite Mas Musa even though I was sure Mas Musa disagreed.

"Patience Deck, all that is absolute right. We enjoy it first maybe Alloh want us for longer romantic-romantic both."

"Mas sure?"

"Yes, believe the same Mas later if it has been 2 years not been given also we have been working with others." I smiled at his words, Mas Musa was able to relieve my anxiety a little.

"Enjoy the Deck the days of both of us."

"Thank you, ma'am" Moses replied by kissing my forehead.

"Oh yes, Mas later try to go home sooner, you do not need to cook Dek later we just go for a walk we eat outside."

"Yes" I was glad to hear Mas Musa take me for a walk because usually Mas Musa was very busy with his teaching schedule here and there.

That day passed by a little while, was it because I was so looking forward to the return of Moses? What is clear is that my eyes exude unusual cheer, with the words of Mas Musa who is not in a hurry for his mom and invitation to date.

[Tante Medina, can I go home now?] One message appeared on the green app on my phone.

[Yes Mama Okta, what's wrong?] I answered quickly because I happened to be free.

[A variety of studies have been done, other mothers are also still here so that rame all gather.]

[Oh, yes Mama Okta, I went there.]

Mama Okta is a tailor with 3 employees, her clothes are always good with contemporary models and neat stitches. For uniforms of study, or other uniforms always subscribe to sewing in place.

I immediately took out the motorcycle that Mas Musa bought for my needs at home. I drove to Mama Okta's house, it was just a few blocks away from me. Sure enough to get there are many other mothers are trying on her uniform.

"Tante Medina has come, here enter this uniform try it first if there is something that is not right so it can be repaired immediately," welcome Mama Okta to me.

"Good Mam, I think it fits everything" I replied after looking through my uniform.

"Just try it first, it's right there in Okta's room!"

I followed, I immediately tried a fashionable pink dress combined with a long hijab to make it look elegant, I love the model because it reminds me of the elegance of Mas Musa's mother.

For a moment I circulated the view to Mama Okta's single daughter's room, Oktavia yes. Several portraits adorned the walls of the yellow-painted room, from the time Octavia was born until she was 4 years old. Very sweet arrangement of the photos, I hope to get a baby soon. Mama Okta's perfect life, everything is complete.

"Okta's room is neat, Mam" I told Mama Okta.

"Yes aunt, Iha wong Oktanya don't sleep there."

"Can't you?"

"His sleep is still with Mama Papa, do not want to sleep alone aunt," replied Mama Okta with a typical smile.

The other mothers have said goodbye to home and because I was preoccupied with chatting with Mama Okta I forgot the time and finally caught in the rain. The clock was at 3pm, it seemed like it was time for Mas Musa to come home.

"Oh Mam, how is this even getting drier? My husband is coming home soon" I said anxiously.

"On the phone first her husband, let later not nyariin aunt ...."

" Yes, I'll call you a minute, Mam ...."

Heather ... tuuuut ...

[Assalamualaikum Dek, you where the rain is like this, Mas has come home]

"Waalaikumsalam Mas, Medina at Mama Okta's house ...."

"Mam, you can take the motor tomorrow morning let me take it, now my husband wants to pick it up here," I asked Mama Okta.

"Yes Aunty, no papa like the rain is also still long, the husband of Aunt Medina wait late."

Shortly after Mas Musa arrived at his car, Mas Musa swiftly came down using an umbrella and approached me in front of Mama Okta's house. I smiled to welcome him, but instantly my smile faded.

"Mariam ... ?"

"Mizan ... ?"

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