Pursuing My Husband's First Love
What a lovely evening

Tonight will be my last night with Moses. I wanted to sleep in her arms all night, but we still had to sleep apart, my mother-in-law had fallen asleep right next to me. While Mas Musa slept in front of the tv with Mr. Iwan, there was no way I would have my mother sleep with Mba Lastri in the back room.

Tomorrow I will come with my mother back to the village of Mas Musa, my already large content makes my mother worried. And Mas Musa was also worried about his mother who was sad, hoping that with her I could slightly treat the mother's grief. Next month Moses will follow, and we will not return to this city again.

I turned my body around, it was uncomfortable, but this is the pleasure of being a mother. I finally came out to take ablution water, I better read the Quran.

I was stifled when I found Mas Musa still awake, from behind I could see his back up and down. I approached and saw a portrait of Mas Musa and Mba Mariam when they got married first on her mobile screen. The screen light looks so bright, considering the dimness of the middle room lamp.

"Dad?" said Mas Musa who was surprised to realize my presence, I was surprised to be too focused on the portrait that Mas Musa cried at midnight like this. Hurry up she's hiding her phone, but I've seen, Mas.

Moses tried to wipe away the remaining tears in his net, free too, I saw him.

"Mas can explain, Deck," said Mas Musa.

"Medina ain't no papa, Mom. Medina understands feelings, Mas Musa." What's wrong with holding the pain a little more, after this Mas Musa will only be mine, even our family will soon be perfect with the birth of the baby.

"Aren't you sleeping?" ask Moses.

"Medina can't sleep."

"Let's sit on the terrace!" take Mas Musa, I nodded and followed his footsteps, having previously taken a heavy and long breath to neutralize my heart.

Moses took my hand and led me to sit beside him. The cold of the night air was fresh amid the pain that everyone was experiencing, in pain with their own point of view.

"It must be hard on you, Mom," I said.

"Yes, Deck. But .. mas lucky there are you and our children who are a source of strength for mas."

I smiled at her, though my heart ached with my unsuccessful prejudices after seeing the portrait of Mba Mariam that my husband was looking at.

"Mas ... cried out of regret, Dek," he said again.

"Repent?" my question does not understand.

"Yes, here we are happy with you, with our love, with our household, and with our future baby. Do I deserve to enjoy all that, Dek? While there are women out there who are in distress because of a seed that has grown in the womb alone, it should also bear the same pain, at least mas should get a little punishment, right?" Moses took a heavy breath, implying that a light burden was being borne by his heart.

"If it hadn't happened, if Mariam didn't have to get pregnant, she would have no trouble alone, and feel very guilty to her" Mas Musa said, regret was clearly on his face.

"That's destiny, Mas. Don't blame yourself, let alone regret, the child's fortune from Allah, he's holy, no matter what happens to his parents." I tried to comfort Mas Musa and to throw away the ego and pain in the recesses of my own heart.

"Maybe it would be better if the child is a caring mas, let Mariam free and not burdened by a child who may herself also consider it a mistake."

"Mba Mariam couldn't have done it, Mom. She's still a mother."

However, the child is proof that your love and Mba Mariam ever existed. Ah ... I must forget it, did not Mas Musa try to love only me with all his heart? I shouldn't doubt it.

"But I was also confused, how to make the guilt in the heart of this mas reduced?" moses said again with sadness.

I was sad to hear it, Mas Musa's question was like a dead end.

"Is it still possible for you to return? Refer for the boy and atone for your guilt, Mas?" ask me to test, maybe this is the answer to Mas Musa's anxiety, ah .. foolishly I ask this. A second later I regretted.

"No, Deck. That's not the way out, I promised you, and I know Mariam is the woman who holds her principles, and most importantly, the story is done," moses replied with a slight annoyance at my question.

"Sorry, Mas, Medina is just confused, not knowing how to help Mas Musa," I regretted.

"Just stop and don't lie to yourself again. I don't want to be fooled anymore, if your heart hurts just say it hurts, don't say otherwise like you used to do all this time, don't make me feel more guilty about hurting you again, Dek."

Moses was right, my heart ached. But I'm quite happy with your heart's firmness now, Mas. Of course I smiled knotfully and blushed with his answer, thankfully Mas Musa subsided after seeing my smile.

"I'm sorry, Medina, Mas," my whine spoiled.

"It wasn't Mariam who made my heart heavy and sick, but that boy, my flesh and blood, so .. stop discussing the opportunity to refer again, even think about it in your head never, ever," mas Musa continued full of earnestness, I smiled and nodded.

"We pray that Mba Mariam will quickly open her heart yes, Mas," I said.

"Aamiin, thank you, Dek."

"Tomorrow we shall part temporarily, if Medina misses how?" I said, leaning on Mas Musa's shoulder, it was enough to lament this matter, it was time to discuss me and Mas Musa.

"Patience, Deck. Just a month, Insha Alloh after that mas will devote themselves completely to be a husband on standby, mas friends gave news that the new work will begin in 6 months."

"really?" I said gladly, time with Mas Musa, is a precious thing for me.

"Yes, Deck. After all mas will be calmer if in the meantime you are guarded by the mother, so .. you are patient yes," Mas Musa rubbed the top of my head that is slender on his shoulder. Romantic, that's the picture, we're a pair of happy humans enjoying the cold, fresh night air, having suffered all these painful wounds.

"Mas no need to worry, yes, in addition to the mother who takes care of Medina, Medina will also accompany the mother and comfort the mother," I understand her concerns.

Moses looked at me ashamed, I was able to read your heart. It's not just me you're worried about, it's also your mother. In addition to the problems of Mba Mariam, the mother was also sad when Mba's sister Mariam brought up about Mas Harun. I ... quickly understand, right, Mas?

"Thank you, Deck. Be well there, do not forget to give the news and do not forget, read the Quran to our prospective children."

"Yes, Mas. Medina will remember Mas Musa's message, if this boy would be handsome like you, Mas."

"Yes, if women are beautiful like you, Dek. His deeds must also be noble like yours," said Mas Musa.

'Aamiin, but I hope the fate of his love will be much better, ' my inner self.

I tightly embraced my husband's body, "Now Medina is longing."

Moses kissed the top of my head again, long enough Mas Musa landed his kiss there. I don't know, maybe his heart was saying something, I might not hear it, the language of love that Mas Musa always chanted in prayer. But I am sure it will reach my heart.

Mas Musa's kiss moved to my forehead, warmth penetrating my heart. Flowing in every stream of my blood, and treating every wound in my soul and body with love.

It was as bad as my wound, but as happy as this was my reward, being a wife of Moses Hamizan.

You are my first and last love. Like war, I was determined to risk everything to win. I am ready to be hurt but still trying to be happy.

You, are the victory that I managed to gulp the sweet. The fruit of my heartfelt patience and sacrifice. But, you know what, Mom? I even prepared myself to lose, it was okay, I still did it with all my heart and soul, so that I would lose by smiling, not by regret.

You are my paradise.

Mas Musa's kiss came to my lips, moving gently and lovingly. Not just passion, but great comfort. I felt like I was flying, my hands were wrapped around his neck, and both of Mas Musa's hands were tightly wrapped around my swollen waist.

There is no more prejudice, and no more shadow of Mba Mariam.

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