Pursuing My Husband's First Love
Conditional 2

Mizan said goodbye and immediately went home, she remembered Medina's message not to go too long. On the road Mizan sees Mariam talking to Mala, Mizan intends to meet Mariam first.

Tiins ...

Mala and Mariam looked surprised and looked at each other.

"Assalamualaikum, Mar didn't you just go home? Is Okta nyariin?" greet Mizan.

"Waalaikumsalam, Mar did I go home first?" pamit Mala left while patting Mariam's shoulder a few times.

"Zan, say goodbye first. Fine, you guys," said Mala before passing.

Mizan looked at Mariam and observed her puffy eyes, Mala's words also seemed strange, Mariam continued to try to hide her face.

"Mar, what else?" mizan asked in surprise, 'wasn't it yesterday that Mariam had returned?' his inner.

"No papa Zan, I'm nostalgic for Mala."

"Why are you crying?"

"No cry, it was dusted" replied the classic Mariam.

"Why again? Isn't everything okay? Did they mention anything that offended you?" mizan asked, giving in and choosing to get off the bike and sit down with Mariam.

"No Zan, there's nothing!"

"Speak Mar, if something's wrong!" persuade Mizan.

For her, Mariam always makes her fall awake even just to understand her heart and desires. It used to be normal, for men it was the challenge. But since the presence of Medina, everything started to feel different. Mizan began to tire of chasing Mariam's heart, because he was used to Medina who was always open and easy to understand without having to guess a lot and run a lot. Both of his wives had different personalities.

"Is it because of that night? You sorry? Or because of Medina's pregnancy?" guess Mizan is starting to lose her temper because Mariam always says it's okay.

"Mar's? Say it!"

"I'm sorry I came here!" mariam.

"What?!"

Mariam looked into the eyes of her lover many years ago, though now they had united their distance as if unfulfilled.

"Why?" ask Mizan again, "the words of our friends? Tell me what's wrong?"

'Of course I'm a fool, Mas Bian will certainly know what my heart is without me saying it. How do I expect the same from Mizan?' inner Mariam.

"I'm sorry because of the memory of you, even I was a little stupid the other night!"

"Mara! Istighfar! I can wait for your heart to open, but that doesn't mean you're free to think like that. Whatever your reasons for that night, it is not appropriate for you to regret it because you are my right! Mar's sin, even if such a speech is only in your mind." Mariam is shocked to hear Mizan's words and tone.

"I'm lacking what Mar, to you?" Mizan looked desperate as if Mariam's heart was impenetrable. Mariam quietly set her breath while thinking to string the words and gather the courage to talk.

"You know what, Zan? It is easier to be your second wife when my heart is still worried, still not realizing how I really feel, when my heart is still palpating between memories and reality ...."

"When I got back here, all the memories turned into reality, all the feelings I questioned became clear, and my worries were gone with confidence. This place makes me dare to believe that I still love you," said Mariam, both of them look at each other and race to read each other's hearts through the eyes.

"What's the problem, Mar?"

Mariam looked deeper into Mizan's eyes that were beginning to condense. Mariam never doubted Mizan's feelings for her, but she always doubted herself.

"The problem is that it's not easy to divide yourself when I'm in love, and that's what I regret, it's my fault."

Mizan is very surprised to hear Mariam's confession, after yesterday her confession made her happy and felt her life had been perfect. Now, he seems to be faced with a branching road.

"Mar?!" Mizan's hand held both Mariam's shoulders in disbelief.

"I'm not Medina, Zan! Who can so greatly share love, for me it is better not to have than to share!" the speech that slid from Mariam's lips increasingly made Mizan disappointed, the clear circles in Mariam's eyes were allowed to fall while she was busy digesting what was the purpose behind her speech.

"I'm sorry, Zan! I am only a human being with all his limitations. Maybe you think I'm not grateful because you and Medina have saved me from deep, but-" sadness"

"Learn Mar! Learn to live this as it is! I also learned, it's not easy for me to understand you two, I try to be fair, I try to keep things going well, I've tried Mar! I've been trying!" cut Mizan with emotion.

"I know that our marriage is not free from Medina's wishes, maybe she wants this marriage because she is aware of the limitations she has. But, I still have to take responsibility for Medina's choice, she feels limited also because of my mistake."

"Which limits, Zan? She's even pregnant."

"Astaghfirullohaladzim, Mariam!"

"Why has all my efforts never been seen in your eyes? I'm trying to be fair, it's not easy, but I'm trying for you both, if I could've split my body and my heart so you could be satisfied with the justice I've always worked for!"

Mizan cupped both hands to cover her face after finishing her words. She was overcome with emotion when Mariam easily said she could not share. His efforts to be fair seem futile.

"I'm sorry, Zan!" Mizan turned to Mariam, clearly Mariam still loved her, "forgive me!" reset Mariam.

Mizan tried to reorganize her emotions.

"Oh, I was wrong! You're helpless because you love me."

"Pacify yourself, go home and get ready tomorrow we'll be back in Bogor. Sorry for bringing you back here, sorry for reminding you of how you feel about us."

"Remove your tears, it's not good to see people. Tomorrow we'll be home soon" promised Mizan.

"Go home Zan, Medina is waiting for you!"

"No, Zan, I'm going home alone."

"Come on Mar, don't argue, I'm your husband."

"Zan, Medina is pregnant. His emotions are unstable, understand him. Let me solve my own problems, I just have to make peace with the memories, give me time" Mariam refused.

Mizan looked at Mariam with disappointment, in her heart she began to compare Mariam who did not hesitate to reject her opinion and Medina who always received whatever she said.

'I'm tired of running Mariam, while you're so happy to run and get away, ' Mizan's mind is tired.

"Mar, our household is different from others. Because you are special, you and Medina are different from the other women out there. Let's fight together to live out what has been our best choice, I hope you understand."

"Assalamualaikum," said Mizan to go on his motorcycle.

Mariam stared at Mizan's distant back, her heart claustrophobic filled with sweet memories of the two of them. Mariam again touched her heart.

"This wedding wasn't my choice, Zan!" mariam muttered.

🍀🍀🍀

Medina paced back and forth waiting for her husband's return in front of the porch. Beside him was Bu Aini who was drinking tea while accompanying her anxious daughter-in-law.

"Yes, Ntar, Mizan's coming home."

"Yes ma'am, but Medina was worried, but Moses said it wouldn't be long."

"Well, maybe you can talk to her friends who haven't met for a long time, you're already sitting here and you're tired."

Medina reluctantly obeyed her mother-in-law's orders.

"Are Moses the same as Mariam, Mom?" medina asked, Ms. Aini looks clumsy with her daughter-in-law's question.

"Try it on telphon, rather than guess."

"Biarin lah Bu, kasian also Mba Mariam, should this Mas Musa ration with Mba Mariam even they so bothered nyusulin Medina here."

Bu Aini smiled at her, the sincerity of her daughter-in-law to divide her husband is indeed no doubt.

"Yes you have calmed down" said Ms. Aini while giving back Medina's favorite orange basket.

"Oh yes, tomorrow you go home, I've talked to Mba Lastri to come with you, so that later he can make you fit yourself, can help you, and take care of you."

Mba Lastri is one of the employees at Bu Aini's house.

"Are you taking nicotine, Mom? Medina is healthy."

"Had it sorted, Mba Lastri the person sinekakan kok sure fit you, inget you have to keep your content well."

"Yes Ma'am, Medina must have taken care of him with all her soul."

"Mommy also told Mr. Bejo to make methikin oranges that are still cool for you" said Mother again.

"Thank you Ma'am, Medina even took some nicotine."

"Yes Nak together, I was scared when you came home alone. I'm afraid something will happen to your household, but Mizan and Mariam Nyusulin came here and you look good mom is relieved, I'm grateful, even now I want to have grandchildren from you, Thank God, I'm grateful you're happy and can get along with each other."

Medina gulped at the words of her mother-in-law, and she left in a bad state. However, later she understood her emotions to be slightly different and uncontrolled due to the influence of her pregnancy hormones.

The sound of the motor entering the courtyard of the house made Medina happy. It is possible that her pregnancy this time made her want to be near her husband more often.

"Moses is coming home, Mom!" he exclaimed cheerfully, he immediately moved towards the direction the voice came from.

"Finally Mas came home too," greeted Medina.

"Yes sorry for a long time," Mizan was happy with Medina's warm welcome after her quarrel with Mariam. Mizan hugged his first wife tightly.

'Mariam is not Medina, and Medina is different from Mariam, I can't force anyone, ' Mizan's inner self.

"Medina is a miss, but why did Mas Musa hit her so hard?" ask Medina.

"Sorry, Deck!"

Mariam makes Mizan run, and Medina is always there when Mizan wants to take a leisurely walk. Mariam the adult, and Medina the spoiled one.

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