Pursuing My Husband's First Love
Mariamku, Wife.

"Allahumma inni as'aluka min khoirihaa wa khoirimaa jabaltahaa 'alaih. Wa a'udzubika min syarrihaa wa syarrimaa jabaltaha 'alaih.”

O Allah, I ask You for the good of Mariam and what You have created in her disposition. And I ask You for protection from Mariam's ugliness and what You have created in her disposition.

I kissed her on the forehead, which I wanted so much in my dreams, but now Mariam really belongs to me. My happy heart is filled with immense gratitude, a desire that I have long tried to erase and forget is now freely expressed in a halal bond.

I looked into Mariam's eyes, in stark contrast to what I felt, empty, she wasn't as happy as I was.

"Smile Mariam! Not for me, but for all who are happy with this marriage."

Mariam, to smile you must be asked. I was very concerned about his inner wounds, now I am there to heal them. Trust me in your suffering, Mariam, my wife.

I turned to greet the family present, when greeting the parents of the deceased Mr. Biantara they hugged me tightly, crying a sad and also moved blend, they entrusted their grandchildren to me. I promise to protect you with all my heart.

Then when I got to Medina, I knew it was hard for her but she was willing to sacrifice.

"Congratulations, Medina hope that after this Mas will be happy" she said in a trembling voice, a fake smile adorning her puffy face.

"Mas is always happy, Dek, thank you, Allaah has promised a great reward to a patient wife like you." I kissed her forehead hoping to help strengthen her heart.

"Medina was happy too" he said later.

...

The house was once again deserted after one by one the family said goodbye to home. I approached Mariam who was sitting quietly at the side of the bed. As per Mariam's request the other day, all the furniture in this room has been replaced with a new one. My mother happily complied with her request.

"Accoland ...."

"Wa-walaikumsalam," replied Mariam, her eyes constantly trying to avoid me.

"So ... ? Where do we start?" I was stuck with Mariam's cold attitude, I remember she was a little jutek, a trait that made me very curious about her, a forerunner of feelings that grew so deep.

"Don't expect more, I did all this for Octavia!" cold answer.

"So, I can now be called Papa too?" I was trying to dilute Mariam's attitude.

"The father has only one,"

"That means me, Abi? May I have Octavia call me Abi from now on?"

"Whatever."

I ventured to sit next to him, he looked uneasy and threw his eyes the other way. I tried to grab her hand, but with one blow Mariam rejected me.

"Don't fuck around Zan, I-I can't do it yet" snapped Mariam.

"But I'm your husband" I took Mariam's hand again with a little coercion, "I'll wait until you're ready, but .. I beg you, don't be this cold!" Finally he gave up letting me hold his hand as his eyes continued to watch over me.

"Mariam, my wife .. I know that everything that happens is not easy for you. I also never once dared to have you, even in a dream, because I was sure, you live with the right person. Now, Alloh again match us in halal ties as we once wanted, no matter how far we parted, if Allah has destined you to be mine, surely you will return."

"Don't cry, Mariamku!" for the first time, I had the right to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

"The tears of your eyes are the source of my pain, please don't cry anymore. All this has been outlined, stop blaming time or circumstances."

Mariam is getting more and more innocent, I don't understand her. I brought myself closer and hugged her, for the first time in my life, I was free to enjoy this feeling, without having to shake it off or be muffled.

"Cry as much as you, but promise me this is the last time you mourn."

I enjoy Mariam's cry, I make sure the pain that evaporates from her cry will be exhausted and I will replace it with happiness. I no longer want to be weak because of my helplessness at the pain, I will be his protector.

"In the first place now I forbid you from talking about Mas Bian, I want to forget!" mariam said in a hoarse voice, her eyes looking into my eyes, she was firm and had decided.

"It's not because of you, because I want a new life" he added.

"Yes Mariam, anything for you. But, don't push yourself too much, flow as is so as not to get too sick."

"Which pain have I not faced? I'm not afraid of pain, I'm like a man who's risen from the dead."

"Mariam, never once make a bad thought on the fate of Allah! You can be sad but don't make your heart harden!"

"Mariam, look at me! Believe that! again, please!"

Highlight Mariam's eyes began to melt, I wanted to immediately replace the sadness that had been lodged for so long in her eyes. I want the jewel of happiness that comes back from his eyes.

"One more Mariam! Love me! I-i'm sorry! I promise to make amends for all my past mistakes."

"Stop promising, you're happy, now you have two wives, how are you going to share?"

"I will try as fair as I can, to you and to Medina. I wouldn't have been this brave if it wasn't for her, I hope you understood Mariam, I love you but I can't let go of Medina."

"Medina is so naive, her love is blind to you. I was so upset because he was too intrusive for my life."

"Medina was so patient with me, the husband who always called other women's names almost every night."

"Why?"

"I ... love you Mariam!" the expression of feelings that can finally be freely poured out on Mariam, the source of my love. How happy I am now.

Clear details drip back from the corner of Mariam's eye.

"You are the woman I crave so much, I want to have you not out of lust, but because I love you, I want you Mariam, even in my subconscious, there is only your name."

"This feeling grew so wild, the more I tried to forget it it felt so excruciating."

"You are still good at seducing," said Mariam.

"Is this a compliment?"

"No. I can't believe you still have that feeling."

"I'm telling the truth, more precisely .. I'm admitting my weakness."

"May I ask you something?"

"Please!"

"Is it true that you will love Octavia like your own son? You don't just want me, do you? I've got a deal now, you have to remember."

"I promise Mariam, actually Medina wants to get pregnant soon. But, Qodarulloh .. we have not been trusted, Medina loves Octavia very much, so do I, I can't wait to see her grow up, surely she is very similar to you before."

Mariam finally raised a little both corners of her lips, she smiled the first night. A smile that I can freely enjoy. I love you Mariam.

"Thank you!"

I spent a long night with Mariam in a hospital, so long our way to be united. Each one of us must twist far past the destiny of the other before we can finally enjoy this togetherness.

I hope, Medina is fine now.

.....