Pursuing My Husband's First Love
Medina Khafiza, the wife who asked her husband to pursue his first love.

Seeing the sadness of Mas Musa prolonged, making the atmosphere of my household so cold and tasteless. It has been 3 weeks since the departure of Mba Mariam's husband, Mas Musa is more preoccupied with his own life, as if I was just a statue even during that time Mas Musa did not touch me.

I was jealous of the laptops, the books, even the prayer mats that accompanied Mas Musa most of the night. There are prayers and tears for Mba Mariam on it.

My tears were dry only to weep for the love of Moses, I could only pray that one day, Moses could love me. But it seems like Mas Musa could only love Mba Mariam. Yes Alloh, should I ask Mba Mariam to be my honeymoon?

I said, asking for guidance to Alloh SWT, I want Mas Musa happy. My decision is already unanimous, I must be strong.

Haula wa la quwwata illa billahil 'aliyyil azhimi.

"Many dhikr and Istighfar, Dek!" concluded Mas Musa when I said I meant to allow him polygamy.

Moses refused, completely refused, and I saw anger in Moses' eyes.

"Mas .. instead Medina did not appreciate the late Mr. Bian, but ... Medina has been beristihkarah, Insha Alloh Medina is not wrong Mas."

Mas Musa was more and more surprised to hear my words, but I could not stand all these circumstances, I wanted a solution, I was tired of waiting for me to pick up my sakinah, my mawadah, my warohmah. I was sick of Mas Musa who pretended to say 'no' when his heart felt otherwise.

"Dek ... mas never thought at all in that direction" Mas Musa said with an emphasis on the word 'no'.

"Mas ... Medina just wants to be loved" I said, Mas Musa leaned his body on the chair.

"Medina should how else? In order for Mas Musa to love Medina, Medina willingly did anything .. including accepting Mba Mariam as part of Mas Musa's life, hallow him Mas, Mas, in order for the feeling that Mas had all this time to become worship, Medina willingly Mas ... Insha Alloh Medina!" my tears exploded there.

"Mas Moses was tormented because of his unworthy feelings, right? Therefore, please do not forget Mba Mariam Mas, do not be eliminated because only the suffering that Mas Musa got, enjoy Mas, halalkan ... !"

I, Medina Khafiza, am asking my husband to pursue back his first love.

"Polygamy is not an easy thing Dek, mas do not have the ability to do it, many terms and conditions that mas can not do."

"Well, is Mas going to keep going like this?"

"My intention is not something to be underestimated, that's a hint, Mas!"

Moses was silent, and he was massaging his own forehead. If Mas Musa knew, this was my highest form of sacrifice, this was my way of loving a Musa Hamizan.

"Mas will love you, Deck!" moses said after a long silence.

"Have ...forget that crazy idea!" Moses left me.

To be able to say all this, I had to gather all my courage, round my throat, suppress my heart. But Moses easily told me to forget.

I was silent to see Mas Musa choose to leave, there was a splashing sound of water from the bathroom, it seemed like Mas Musa took ablution. The chant of the Adhan echoed reminding Muslims to immediately pray.

"Let's Deck, we pray Maghrib!"

I followed Mas Musa to take ablution. As the water washed my face, it felt fresh, my tears as if erased along with my sadness. Moses was waiting for me on his alphabet, I immediately put on my face and prepared to join Mas Musa. Usually Mas Musa will choose congregation in the mosque, not least today Mas Musa chose to pray at home.

The first moment Mas Musa read the Surah Ar-Rohman piece, his soft and tartil voice managed to calm my heart, my sadness as if it were yawning.

The second moment Mas Musa read the Surah An-Nisaa, the surah with the polygamous law in it, I was swept away in the voice of Mas Musa. The cure of all my heart's misfortune.

After the Maghreb prayer, I followed Mas Musa, extended Dhikr and prayed with sincerity, I poured out all my grief and sorrow, as did Mas Musa. Until the time of Isya prayer arrived, we re-congregated.

Musa read Surah Al-lail, and the second time Mas Musa read Surah An-Nisaa. When I finished praying, Mas Musa asked me to sit next to him. I positioned myself beside her, still with the face I was wearing. I dare not look him in the face, remembering the look on his face as I tried to talk about polygamy.

"Near, Deck!" then I went on, and then I approached a little bit more.

I was amazed at my bravery this afternoon, the courage I had nowhere to get. I just looked down, afraid that Moses would come back to talk about it.

"If you keep your head down, it's better to be here, Dek." Mas Musa suddenly turned sweet, after a long cold act, woman, I melted again.

"Second, polygamy is heavy, must be fair physically or heart, mas has not been able. If later mas is too inclined on one side, on the day of awakening later mas will wake up in a sloping condition, Adek tega?" mas Musa said as he looked into my eyes, I could only be silent, whether I should be happy or sad with Mas Musa's rejection.

"Weight is also for you women, need high clarity, patience that is not playful, not as easy as Deck, throw the mind away, I never thought in that direction myself ... Vallofi ...!" Musa said it calmly but so it infiltrated my heart.

"Mas just wishes Mariam back up, nothing more. And I always pray for our families."

"So, did you refuse?"

"Yes." Yeah."

"Medina wants to be loved, Mas" I said softly.

"So Adek did not feel that all this time I have been in love?"

I was just speechless when I heard Mas Musa's words, clearly Mas Musa only showed his love for Mba Mariam.

"You're too busy counting the no Deck, so you don't realize what's already there."

"This is uhibbuki file!"

I was silent again, not that I could not believe it. But I'm afraid I'm disappointed again.

"Diem hold the Deck? The answer is even his stomach krucuk-krucuk very fast." Suddenly I misbehaved, my stomach had not been filled with food since morning, from the position of Mas Musa must have sounded very clear, embarrassing.

Moses got up from my lap, Moses stretched out his hand and kissed the back of Moses, and Moses replied by kissing me, long, long enough.

"Have ... don't be sad, sorry? Now let's eat! Kasian belly Adek already demo asking to eat."

"Yes, it's."

Moses took me out to eat because I did not cook today. Moses was right, I was busy counting what was not there, which should have been forgotten.

Asterghfirullohaladzim.

We huddled while enjoying the cold night air, we passed the Mba Mariam house block. Moses looked ordinary, but I still felt something that stuck and hurt.

"Mas Musa wants fried rice?" I asked when Mas Musa parked the motorbike in front of the fried rice cart.

"Yes, or does Adek want something else?" I shook my head slowly, my stomach was hungry anything must be good let alone eat with Mas Musa.

Mas Musa ordered 2 servings of goat-fried rice for the tomb on the spot. Before Moses washed his hands, he preferred to eat without a spoon or fork.

" A ...!" When Moses prepared the first meal for me, I opened my mouth and took a bribe from the hand of Moses, my husband.

"Nake?" I nodded, "That's a mouthful of love, Dek!" he continued which almost made me choke with embarrassment.

Second, third, and so on.

"The Kasian wife is tired" said Mas Musa teasing me.

I'm happy, very happy. But part of my heart is sad to remember the state of Mba Mariam. I've found polygamy in my palace, that's God's lead. And Allah brought together Mas Musa and Mba Mariam here certainly with a certain purpose and purpose. Yes, I have to be selfish or what?

.....