My love is just one
103. Is it wrong to want to be loved?"

For me it doesn't matter, I'm separated from my other brothers or treated differently. I'm not a good boy, there are times when I hate you but unfortunately from my deepest heart I love you!"

*****

Pramoedya closed his eyes in the middle seat as the car driven by Leroy drove from Semarang to Jakarta. While Ballawa just sat next to Leroy who was still focused on driving. While Andre and Dody who were sitting in the back seat were already closed.

Pretty tired, but this trip has to be done and they have been targeted by Ballawa that this afternoon has already entered the President's private house.  And they have also reported to General Gaffar to support Pramoedya's plan to meet his parents.

Andre had reported their arrival to the unit that served in the main house which was in the elite area in Menteng. Not just anyone can enter the region and now they are waiting for permission from the head of the household of the president's private residence. Although they are still on their way, their hearts are still anxious because the car has entered the borders of west Java and Central Java, but the decision of the head of the task force has not been obtained.

Almost every hour Pramoedya asked Andre, and always got the same answer.

" Has it been answered by them, Dre ?' Pramoedya asked with his eyes closed.

There was a tinge of worry in Pramoedya's voice.

"Not yet mas. may wait for Mother's decision, said Ms. Tiara is in a meeting with the Women Entrepreneurs group at Hotel Indonesia, maybe two more hours will be completed." Andre replied with a little frustration, because he felt bad asked continuously by his superiors.

"Meeting mulu...remind them in two hours!"

"Good on."

Pramoedya again closed and now he set his heart. There is pain if he remembers a bad relationship with both parents. He breathed violently. Remember it drifted on the early events of the deterioration of their relationship.

In the past he never refused anything said by his parents, until he then realized and felt separated.

Pramoedya finally found out the reason he was distinguished from his other brothers in the mansion. The friendly woman's eye shadow felt different than usual. His mother who had been with him became a different woman that day. Tiara who usually said with gentleness became a firm woman and no longer smiled warmly at her.

At that time he was asked to move the residence to a house that was located 5 years later with the President's main house. He will live separately with a new head of household, a new room and a new school environment and must not talk about his family anymore.

"Ma, why can't I stay with mom and dad anymore? Why am I not allowed to play with sister icha anymore, ma?"

"You are different than Marissa!" Sahut Tiara sharply and half glanced at the boy in front of her who was ten years old.

"Listen to me, Pram, I have endured it long enough, every time I see you, I feel pain in my heart, I suffer greatly and get angry, and the doctor said I had to get rid of the source of the problem..You know what the source of my illness is?'

"What ma?  Was it caused by me, ma?" Said Pramoedya small by staring at the face of Tiara who was combing her beautiful hair because it had just finished treatment.

"Yes... If your face were not like that, your face would remind me of the betrayal your father and that woman committed!"

"I mean mama?" Pramoedya was surprised to hear the explanation of the woman who had been considered very kind and angelic hearted, he did not expect that the woman was not his mother.

The woman who often smiled and styled her hair first, now looked at her with her big, angry eyes.

Last week, on her 10th birthday, she kissed him on the forehead for a long time and presented him with an expensive watch for his age. The clock can make a sound and help him learn English. Very fancy for the size of the time. Happiness was immediately felt by him and the clock was also not owned by his other brother so that made sister Icha angry.

Tiara immediately pulled Pramoedya's hand and they stepped towards her father's study. The hand was not as usual. A little rough and painful. Or is he who is weak because he is only 10 years old. No, that's a rude pull from an angry person.

When he entered the study, he saw his father calling someone and talking very seriously. His father was a leader of the country and so much business had to be dealt with. Sometimes there are not many opportunities to talk directly to her.

Tiara immediately asked her father's aide to come out, so that in the room was only herself, her father and her mother. The father saw the expressions of himself and his wife who looked impatient waiting for him and took turns so he immediately ended his conversation on the phone.

"What's up ?" General Suhartono immediately said to his wife who had been sitting in front of him and then just turned to the little man who was also sitting next to his wife. Pramoedya stared questioningly at his father as if asking for protection from the man in power in this country

"it's been ten years, and I've kept my promise. Now you're the one who's keeping it.you're the one who promised to explain it to her!" Tiara said with an intimidating look as if asking her husband to do his job immediately.

General Suhartono took his breath.  Surely he was not willing but his wife's sharp gaze made him unable to dodge or rewind. Indeed, he did not want to expel a child who was only 10 years old to live apart even though he could still visit him.

"All right.... "Suhartono tried to suppress a bit of his anger and sadness. He stared at the little man who looked at him as if asking for protection from his father. He was wrong but why should this boy bear it.

Suhartono tried to compile a sentence to be delivered to the little man who was still confused with his parents.

"Pram. you will be asked to study independently, so you will live in a special house and papa will visit you every night before you sleep while papa is in Jakarta, you can't stay in this house anymore huh, I'm sorry papa and your mama !"

"Yes, but why did it start with me,?   Mas Bambang is the biggest one in this house, but I'm a child why not stay with mom and dad?"

"Neara !" Suhartono was surprised and somewhat angry at Tiara's words.

"Why? I am the one who is telling the truth.This child should know himself, where is the child of a good family and the child who is from a forbidden relationship.... you promised me ten years ago and you promised you'd take him away from this family!"

Degs..

The words surprised Pramoedya. He is not the son of Mama Tiara. He's the son of a forbidden relationship. So this is why he was separated with sister icha.

General Suhartono was a little hurt by his wife's words, but he still harbored them. There's no way he could slap this woman. Already enough of this woman helped him to the highest position in the country and held back feelings for him. He must act appropriately to save his flesh and blood that must come out of the main house.

"Pram. forgive papa, it's not your fault.but papa loves you too like papa loves the son of papa born by mama Tiara... Gini Nak, even if you don't live in this house, you still get education, health and whatever facilities are the same as my other children, Om Gaffar will always take care of you and take care of you. He will always protect you....

That day Pramoedya came out of the mansion and never re-entered. He seemed lost to the family tree. Only Icha's sister still sometimes comes to him after school if Tiara's mom is not home and accompanies him to play. Injured but what can be said, this is part of his fate.

His father often visited him in his new home. But he really missed Mama Tiara, but the woman never saw him even once, That day was their last meeting. He only saw Mama Tiara on television when accompanying his father on state duty. Sometimes she misses Mama Tiara but what can she do if she doesn't want her anymore. Hopefully Mama Tiara no longer has a headache, because last he was the one who caused the woman frequent headaches.

He once asked about his birth mother to his father, but there was no meaningful answer so he was tired of asking the charismatic man. Only Kiyai Umar explains a bit of his past that his mother was buried in the garden behind the pesantren. Yona is the mother who gave birth and has never seen her.

The roar of the car Leroy was driving had stopped. Pramoedya opened his eyes and he saw that Ballawa had come down and entered the main house. They had arrived in front of the President's residence and it was dark. Protocol rules must be done that he must be neat to enter the house.Not long ago Ballawa returned and his face looks happy.

"Let's go Mas Pram.we've been waiting for the President!"  Ballawa immediately delivered the news to him who just got out of the car.

"All right, you wait for me at home. I'll call you guys!"

"Good mas," said the four members of his team compactly.

Pramoedya entered the mansion with a thumping heart. He found that the house was not much different. He had to head to the living room where his father was waiting for him. But his steps came to a halt when he heard the voice of the woman he missed but hated.

"Hey...dare you come here!" The Sahut Tiara suddenly appeared behind him and reflexes made him turn his head.

"Mama....

"hemm..your father is waiting....!" Should I be there, Pram?'

"Need ma.....How are you? Is your headache healed?" Pramoedya said quietly and looked at Tiara who was walking past him.

"It's been but I think today will reappear!"

"Sorry mama... I made him come back. Please, mama can help me...

*****

Happy Reading Guys.

Thank you for reading it. Can you leave your tracks here?" Love you guys!"