You & Dusk
Regretting

My words at that time not only hurt his heart, but also his body. If there's anything I regret, for the first time maybe I can say that I regret what I said.

"You don't have to burden yourself, it'll only make you more guilty." Riyal.

I just bowed.

"even though people know Fina told me about her condition, but they didn't tell her what you did until Fina became what she is now. And I don't want to ask." continued Riyal.

"i.. The cause." murmured me.

"You should know, Fina's parents, what else does her father really appreciate you. He said you were a good man for daring to come to propose to Fina even though he was still in college and had nothing. His father also left me sorry for what his family did to you." Riyal.

"Fina's father was a good man. I'm just.. Destinies.. Just."

"enough bro." Said Riyal while patting my shoulder.

I looked towards him, he was already standing from his seat.

"whatever has happened, you and Fina are my friends and I hope you can come next week" he said.

"god, I try." I'm not sure.

Riyal left me still thinking about the bad thing that happened. The only thing I can do to make amends is to send her sunflowers, even though she never replies to the message I sent along with the sunflowers.

I often write a little story on the piece of paper I put in the Sunflower I sent. But never once did he reply to that short message.

I finally went back to my other friends. To hide my guilt from them, I had to look fine.

Wearing a mask so that my problems are covered by others, because I don't want to look sad in front of them. A mask that is always attached to people who pretend to be happy, a mask called a smile. Very effective to deceive people around.

"buset Arman, long time you bought a drink." Said the inspiration who saw me coming.

"so happened to meet an old friend, so talk for a while." I replied.

"girl yeah?" ask Adi.

"it's a rare thing I've never seen." Wahid.

"gua gets suspicious of you. Don't you be a homo, yeah." Said Ilham while laughing lightly.

"demon you Ham. I'm still normal." I defended myself.

"uh but really. I've never seen one Arman deket same girl for 7 semesters on campus." Said Aan.

"tempteen generation even Arman seems to never deh." continued Intan one of my class friends.

"nah right.. Man you really maho yah?" tanya Ilham.

"bang***t you Ham.."

the other friends laughed, as if content to mock the past that they did not even know.

"hands up for anyone who knows or has seen Arman walk the same girls on campus?" Adi said to all my friends.

Of the 20 or so friends of my class who were here, none of them raised their hands.

"ok Fix's.. Arman maho guys." explained Adi.

The others laughed at Adi's words. I can only be embarrassed by all of them.

"bentar, inget cave. Arman never deket same girl guise guys." said Ilham.

"oh yeah, how's Man a girl in disguise?" ask Adi.

"most also in php doang si Arman" replied Ilham.

Hearing that again, they all laughed. A moment that will soon disappear from my life, a moment that I will miss with all of them.

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