You & Dusk
Surrender

(Flashback Part)

Surrender, because not all hope can be realized. After that move on, shift hope to something certain. Something that's real up front and get it because it's better than hoping for something uncertain.

I made up my mind, no more hesitation. All this time I realized I had been stuck with a mirage, until I met him. He was present to clear my doubts, warm up the day and enliven my smartphone notifications.

Message even a phone from him who attended every day even though only talking about trivial things that seem unimportant, somehow I became comfortable. The sound of laughter to tears when he was talking about his bad problems to me became quite familiar.

Although this closeness has not lasted long, not hearing his voice even though a day feels different. Maybe a little too much, because I'm starting to like it.

The last time I felt this was when I was in school. Feeling close to a woman. Near really close, no longer an endless hope, no longer an unattainable wish. A real feeling, so real that I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Every time he smiles with a deformed curve of the face called dimples, it feels comfortable. It felt like wanting to have and carve that smile continuously on his face."Brother, Brother Arman. Why do you keep eating?" abugn.

"e ngak papa." I laughed falsely.

"don't Arman like me?" he plainly asked.

I was chewing food shocked to the point of choking on the food I was enjoying.

"oh brother. No papa? Drink first." immediately give a glass of water.

While trying to swallow the food, I gulped down the water I was given. "thank you."

"eat it, sis, eat it slowly. Chew first until smooth just swallow." he said a little melted.

"some of you suddenly it's like that."

"the end of Big Brother meliatin mulu, I will be a ge'er" he said with a cry.

I went back to enjoying the food he said he made especially for me. Some time ago when I walked with him and stopped by a simple diner on the side of the road selling fried rice, he who saw me eating greedily asked. Does he like fried rice? Ask. I also replied that I liked it very much.

And he said that he would make me his fried rice. And this is what is happening now, in the courtyard of the Faculty of Medicine. I sat down and enjoyed the fried rice.

Although lunch with fried rice is a little inappropriate because usually the most delicious fried rice served at night. But still, his fried rice is now my favorite fried rice.

I enjoyed sitting with him. Ah.. There is nothing more delicious than the current atmosphere. "so great to eat sis?"

"it's good after all." I replied with a light laugh.

He seemed happy when I said that. He returned to give me a glass of water.

"by the way you cook well too!" my praise.

"iya dong, from a small age, has learned to cook."

"wahs.. It's really nice to be your girlfriend. It can be kept the same as you."

"yes sister, I don't have a boyfriend" he said looking annoyed.

"oh yeah forgot. Hehe. You're not in college?"

"it was morning."

This simple conversation feels meaningful when with him. Just keep going until someone calls my name. "Somali.."

I'm turning. "Riyal." reply.

"why here?" ask Rialal.

"involve my faculty." he explained.

"oh yeah forgot." I said pat jidat.

"hey sister."

"Evely? You know Arman?" riyal asked who saw Evelyn sitting with me.

"yes sister." Evelyn said.

"Sorry bro, I forgot this is your Faculty. By the way, we haven't seen him for a long time either." I said to Riyal and shook his hand.

Riyal joined us, I then explained my introduction to Evelyn to Riyal and vice versa, I also told my story in Malaysia with Riyal when he was part of the comparative study student.

"what really, brother? So brother Arman got a knife stab?"

"yes, he almost died. Basic nuisance people just work." reply Riyal.

"yes.. If you remember that again, it's like I can't believe I'm still alive."

"great wah dong, brother Arman nolongin sister Fina."

"ah ngak ngak. What Riyal tuh nolongin." I dodged, because in the end I can't do anything.

"but still only what started first Brother Arman even though in the end K.O." Evelyn said with a laugh.

Because of that conversation, I remember my stupidity again. Being a bad luck hero to Alfy, the intention is to help but the bad intention is that he can be amazed at me for helping him. Until it is not a sense of admiration that I find from him but only limited to sympathy because I was injured.

Given my stupidity, it feels like I want to repeat time. Ahhh.. A stupid man who almost died because he wanted to show off to women in his tribe. I can tell you it was one of the mistakes of my life.

"Fina how are you?" ask Riyal suddenly.

"Fina? Oh.. Last time I saw you all right."

"last met? Have you met rarely?"

"last hm. When yes? I forgot I haven't seen you in almost a month." My word.

"are you being honest with him?" ask Riyal again.

"honestly? Honest about what?"

"excuse me. ***** so*, I'm gone first."

Riyal stood up and immediately left me and Evelyn. "eh Yal.. What's that supposed?"

Riyal doesn't bully, he just keeps moving away. "Why the other kid said *****." I muttered.

"emang Brother Arman*****." Evelyn continued laughing.

"dare to do it."

"yes, I am peaceful brother."

Like I said before, the comfort with Evelyn grew and the joy and I don't want to hold on anymore, I have to tell her. I must confess my feelings to the woman who is currently in front of me.

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