You & Dusk
Ta'aruf

(Flashback Part)

If you remember the incident this afternoon, Alfy's face suddenly reddened and continued to cover his face with both hands while saying Istigfar.

"May'.." Said the puput who suddenly went into Alfy's room.

"yes.. Sis."

"loh.. Na', what's your face?" ask Puput.

"not why is it."

"that's your cheek red. Come.. What am I doing?"

"hm..."

"definitely Arman." said Puput.

"is that clear, brother?" ask Alfy.

"does he.. I've known you from childhood." Fade back while approaching Alfy.

"i'm ashamed brother. I didn't think I'd do anything like that."

"what's up? Slow story."

Alfy's still with the same face telling me what happened this afternoon. He innocently said that he told Arman his feelings even asked that Arman come to his father to apply.

The puput who heard the story continued to smile and even laugh when he heard Alfy asking Arman to meet his father.

"what you did was not wrong, you were right to refuse him to ask you out and ask him to propose to you. It means you have adhered to the principle of religion. I'm sure if Imam's brother is still alive, he must be proud of his brother now."

The words of Puput calmed Alfy who from earlier continued to be disturbed by the incident in the afternoon. With a sigh he convinced himself to forget about it.Now he only has to be patient with his feelings, if indeed Arman is good for him will definitely mate.

At the place where Arman is.

"sorry Van, I'm bothering you at night." I said.

"ah you, no papa. My people live alone here too. Yes, I came in." said Ivan.

Before I decided to go to Ivan's house, I called him first to make sure whether or not he was at his house. It turns out that after talking on the phone, he told me to stay at his house tonight.

"long very Man on the road."

"let's get stuck."

"just go to the room, keep the same bag change clothes. Just wear the shirt in the closet." he said.

Looks like Ivan is watching an online lecture on his laptop. Even after I noticed he started growing a beard. I didn't expect him to be like this in a very short time.

After I finished cleaning myself, I also approached Ivan who was still engrossed with his laptop.

"watch what Van?" ask me a stale base.

"this.. Again watch the study Uztads Firanda, he is an Indonesian who has a study of science in Medina." reply Ivan.

"oh that.. Talk about what is it?"

"again, Magic Man."

"Magic? Harry Potter dong magic." I said with a joke.

"ah, could you be Man. It's different."

I can see now, exactly what Sabri said. At first I thought Ivan was just messing around but now he knows Islam better than I was born.

"so I met Sabri."

"oh yeah. Where's?"

"in the mosque near the beach.. The building is green." I said.

"oh yeah, Sabri does live close by."

"Bro.. I didn't know you could do this. But you want to convert to Islam because of the women at that time."

Hearing this, Ivan laughed.

"yes.. I forgot that I wanted to convert to Islam because I knew women" he said.

"so how's your relationship with that girl?"

"there's no Man, because I've never met."

"continue your intention to deket the same as him how?"

"yes.. How well.. Now that's not my goal. Although because of the woman I know Islam but since I entered and learned about Islam it turns out I am at peace Man. I don't think about it anymore, my heart is really peaceful." explained Ivan.

"so you're not interested in that woman?" my many.

"excitingly yes, but yeah.. If it is true, the soul mate will meet again. For now I focus on deepening the science of religion first."

"cool you Van."

I can only say that, because I am ashamed of myself. Seeing Ivan's progress so far, whether I can also be like him.

"i.e., Van you meet the woman again, what will you do?"

"maybe his home address continues to meet his father" said Ivan sure.

"meet Father?"

"yes.. I mean, he means Man."

"uh uh? Lamar's? Seriously. Want to get married immediately" I said surprised.

"yeah.."

"no ta'aruf ever Van, let's get to know each other."

"ta'aruf? I do not understand that Man mending just met his Father continues to say if he wants to Ngelamar his son. Haha." Ivan explained with a laugh.

"if I am confused also dating Ta'aruf what is the difference?"

"this coincidence.. There's a talk about ta'aruf, denger yuk."

Ivan then played the 10-minute video. Those Uztads explained one thing about ta'aruf, that a lot of people out there misunderstand Ta'aruf as well as I might personally.

Many people say they are berta'aruf but instead the two way, contact-rebellion via social media, fighting each other, often met and so forth. But it is wrong in this religion, as explained in the Qur'an verse which means.

“And do not approach adultery; verily, it is an abomination. And a bad road.”(QS. Al Isro’ [17] :32)

This verse is very clear how Islam prohibits khalwat between men and women. What khalwat means is a two-on-one with a non-mahramnya or women and men who do not have legal marriage ties.

Furthermore, the Uztads explain that the essence of Ta'aruf is to know each other and that is it. This is not to violate religious rules. For example, if you want to meet enough once or twice before marriage it should not be alone. The woman must be with her mahram whether it be her father, brother or perhaps a female friend.

The next step is to dig more information about prospective partners to family or close friends so that we can know the character of our prospective partner from people who already know him well.

Nah. Measures like this can prevent it from being banned by religion.

That's how Uztads in the video explains it. Now Ivan and I understand two things, first dating is not from Islam second understanding of my religion is still very lacking.

"how about people who date but never meet? What is LDR?" because I was still curious I asked back.

Ivan then came back to find a video that alluded to my question.

"Abu Hurairah radiallahu anhu of Prophet Muhammad Shallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “Verily Allah has appointed over the son of Adam his share of adultery. So the zinanya eyes with a look (the unclean), the zina is spoken with a talk. While the soul is wishful and wishful, whereas ********* that justifies all of that or belies it. (HR Al-Bukhori no 6243 and Muslim no. 2657)., well this hadith then explained about the thing I mentioned and I asked earlier. Uztads in the video likens that let's just say we have a boyfriend keeps him away, automatically we will imagine our girlfriend, the more we fantasize then the more we fall so the end is the same. Essentially whatever the form in Islam dating is not allowed. ", explained Uztad in the video.

I don't know why I always look for loopholes and keep questioning this until Ivan who also still does not really understand say that dating is illegal. But I'm still looking for an excuse to date it's important blah blah blah blah.. But the more I looked for excuses and kept asking, the more, the answer I got from every video lecture I heard with Ivan did not change and again every answer given in and with strong arguments from the Qur'an and Hadith.

My deepest heart knows very well that what I see is the truth but why it is so hard to accept it. Maybe because of how I felt about Alfy, I was trying to find a reason to date him. What I received was not an excuse but an answer to my doubts and lusts.

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