You & Dusk
Disappointment

(Flashback Part)

The sound of the clockwork seconds was clear, the sweat on the face pouring down profusely. Panic faces in the classroom began to appear, remembering the words of Gusti's mother who said that the remaining time was only 5 minutes.

5 Minutes that feels fast for those who know the answers to the mid-semester questions of the Development Administration course that is currently in front of our eyes.

It has been an hour since Ibu Gusti entered and shared about mid-semester and within an hour all the students in this class were sitting, quiet, calm and focused on the problem.

Just a little movement then out of the room, yeah.. More or less like that if Gusti's mother taught or watched.

After waiting for 5 minutes, finally Gusti instructed that questions and answer sheets be collected on his desk.

I was quite confident with the results I would get walking towards Gusti's desk and collecting my test results. While Ilham who was beside me looked doubtful and dizzy because there were still some questions that he had not answered.

After the results were collected, Gustipun's mother left the room. The class that had been stiff and silent immediately turned rowdy. Friends began stretching because the tense muscles remember for an hour not moving from their seat.

"ahhhh.. Ancur dah." muttered Ilham.

"Why?" ask Adi.

"let's do. The cave test."

"let's go, repeat it once in a while" I said.

"yes, if ever, it is a cave many times" he said.

We laughed at his complaint. "he learned." Gina said to Inspiration.

"raged cave with Ibu Gusti, the feeling that other lecturers give easy tests, why is he difficult ya." murmured Ilham once again.

"don't find an excuse. Hence learning." replied Gina once again.

And once again we laugh. "yes,." murmured Ilham.

"oh yeah, how? Is there any good news?" ask Adi.

"good news?"

"that's the doctor's son." he continued.

"oh, this afternoon I'm going to shoot him" I said firmly.

"preparancy...." Ilham.

"get ready" Adi replied while looking down at me.

"where's shooting?" ask Gina.

"i'll meet him at the lake near the rectorate building of the campus".  My reply.

"mantap. The right atmosphere by the lake." Wahid.

"Man's.. Finally after all this time you've put an end to the chryblons." The word Inspiration holds my shoulder.

"lebay you." I said with a slight laugh

"don't forget to hold Man's hand. Keep looking at his eyes, then kiss him." said Ilham showed his perverted scene.

"bad brains." Said Gina slapping Ilham. We laughed again at his silly behavior.

After talking and receiving their input about the love statement I will do this afternoon, I rushed to SMEs because there happened to be a Scientific Reasoning SME Member Meeting.

Arriving at the SME secretariat, I met Idan who was relaxed with cigarette butts smoked. "And.. Not started yet?" my many.

"already, just go in."

"don't you come in?"

"gue smokes first." he replied.

I also went inside and almost an hour finally the meeting was delayed because there were still things to discuss, also because some of the friends who attended the meeting were on a lecture schedule.

After the meeting dissolved, I also chose to hang out for a while in front of the secretariat along with Idan and other friends.

Some are discussing SME work programs, some discuss social issues and so on again discuss beautiful women. If men gather again, one topic that is never left behind is beautiful women.

In the middle of the conversation Idan whispered something to me. "how is Man, you still like Fina?" Whisper .

"huh.." I could only respond by pretending to be surprised by the question.

"how ya." I'm not sure.

"gantle is a guy. Shoot if you like, even if finally rejected but you can be relieved." I was confused actually Idan was motivating or dropping my mentality.

I tried to keep quiet and do nothing to stop Idan from saying that. But as Alfy walks closer, Idan suddenly yells at the friends around him.

"hey.. Temen-temen.. Arman wants to say something" he said, raising his tone.

"And' paan anyway, don't be ashamed." I said to him.

Meanwhile, other friends started to notice me, including Alfy, who also started to look at me. "let's Arman.. Stand up dong." Said Idan pulling my hand.

I'm still trying to stop Idan's jokes but he doesn't seem to be poking around and instead says things he shouldn't have said.

"well temen-tenu.. Because Arman is ashamed to let me be the deputy." he said hardened his voice.

The friends who were around were paying more attention to Idan. "Fine.." Idan pointed at Alfy.

Alfy who was pointed out was surprised because he did not expect to be one of the objects of Idan jokes. This one child is famous for jail and likes to disturb.

Seeing him point at Alfy I then stood up from my seat and I held his hand which pointed at Alfy and then closed his mouth. But he managed to come off and say it, saying the hope I wanted to throw away.

Idan pointed at me and started yelling in front of Alfy.

"Fine... Arman likes you. Armani.. Arman suukkaa is with you Fin."

Just contact the friends who had been silent watching suddenly became noisier. There was whistling, applause there was shouting. The atmosphere was immediately rowdy while Idan said things that he did not deserve to say.

cheers from other friends are heard. "shoot.. Shoot.. Shoot it." Shouts most of them.

I still can't believe the situation glanced at Alfy, he looked embarrassed for being an object of entertainment. I yelled at all my friends to finish Idan's joke.

"Fa.. I'm not kidding anymore. Arman likes you. He told me the same story." Idan once again made his words clear.

Hearing that back my friends cheered for me. Encouraging me to be a real man and approaching Alfy to express my feelings directly.

But I was still trying to get them all to stop, while Alfy just kept looking at me. I look like a fool, the clapping of friends makes me even more embarrassed.

Not wanting the atmosphere to become more boisterous, I finally approached Alfy to give clarification on Idan's words.

Of course I'll deny what Idan said. The friends who saw me approach Alfy are getting worse. They all came closer and surrounded us both.

Me and Alfy were now in their whirlpool, cheering for me to reveal my feelings to Alfy. "Fin sorry yes.. Idan was just kidding. That's not true." I said raising my voice.

Because the voices of the surrounding friends are so loud it seems like Alfy can't hear my words. All I see is she's still down in shame and she looks beautiful.. Yes, she looks beautiful.

Again, I try to explain that this is not true. Again because of the interference of the voices of other friends makes it difficult for Alfy and each other to hear their words.

Maybe because his spirit was giving support to me to express their feelings so they became excited and shouted from now on. Even if reality isn't what I want to say. Plus Idan is still heating up the others that I'm going to shoot Alfy.

Once again I tried to explain to Alfy who from now on just silent looks embarrassed, that it was a lie I did not like it.. Yes, I don't like it. I like other women.

Not yet done talking, Alfy turned his head and looked at me. He said something and then went through the circle of friends who had been seen crowding us both.

Seeing Alfy leave me and walk quickly while clutching the book in his chest, he seemed to be angry. One of my friends named Cindy then shouted at the others.

"Arman is rejected.." he said.

Suddenly those who were excited stopped and started to comfort me. I know it from the mouth of Cindy certainly not too surprised because it is the answer of all false hopes so far.

My friends started to comfort me because they found out I was rejected. Though I myself did not say anything to Alfy, I also did not hear his words clearly. But for what, he refused.

At least I'm not hurt, because I like other women now.. I stressed to myself I wasn't hurt, yes I was.. Ti's.. Dak..

"sorry Man's. It seems like Fina doesn't like you." Said Idan holding my shoulder.

"Campret, this is all because of you. Substantial.. Who would shoot him." I said annoyed as I pushed him.

"santuy, manny. You don't have to be angry. Look on the positive side now you know that Fina doesn't like you." she explained.

Because I was still upset with his behavior I left Idan without any words. I was angry, I was upset, I was embarrassed and I was disappointed.. Alfy refused.

Just keep in my mind a little relief and a little disappointment knowing that my worries have been right. Who me? Liking a woman like her, I really don't deserve it.

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