You & Dusk
Know oneself

(Flashback Part)

Tonight the entire Faculty freshmen reception committee gathered in the field. While in front of the stage, Dzul as the chairman of the committee was talking, I had expected him to talk a lot because that was his skill.

Just this afternoon, the freshmen reception was over. The agenda lasted for three consecutive days, in contrast to the agenda at the University level which lasted only one day.

And tonight we all gathered in the Faculty field to celebrate our hard work as the committee that has made this MABA Welcome event a success. Dzul who spoke on stage continued to thank the other colleagues.

Until finally he closed and disbanded the Faculty's freshman admission committee tonight. Everyone applauded and looked delighted as the hard work to archive this activity paid off successfully.

After Dzul came down, a guitar was heard and a woman went up on stage to sing. We all celebrate a little bit with a small party. Eating together to talk to each other familiarize themselves with the committee whose nutrition comes from different majors.

Although this party is to celebrate the success of the committee but who attended not only the committee involved in this activity, the committee, this party looks crowded because other friends are also present such as a classmate who does not participate in the committee, Junior to senior are also present tonight.

Maybe I am the type of person who does not like the crowd, by which I prefer to be on the sidelines while enjoying the acoustic music that is being heard. I was with Adi and Gina who were also beside him.

They both seemed to be talking about something and occasionally laughed. In the middle of the field, in the crowd I saw Wahid talking to one of the organizers I didn't know."Arman, I don't think you're here?" ask Gina.

"so I tried the phone but it wasn't active. I'm WA not sent either." I replied.

"Are you better off yet with him?" ask Adi.

"i haven't spoken to him in 5 days" I replied, looking at the starless sky

"why indeed?" ask Gina curiously.

"no papa, just misunderstanding. Boys' bias." replied Adi.

Last I spoke to Ilham when I said things that might make him angry, although good intentions sometimes someone can not judge the intentions of others if they are experiencing love problems.

And since then I never saw Ilham on campus, I always called him but his phone number was always off. I came to his house but he was not at home, his mother said.

I really don't know where he is right now. He probably hates me for what I said at the time. I really wanted to apologize to him.

"hi all." Ica was seen coming out of the crowd in the middle of the field and heading towards us, next to him of course Immang.

"why stay here?" ask Ica.

"You know keep Ca', I don't really like crowds." I said.

"where is bro Ilham?" asked Irwan suddenly.

"look at it for yourself, isn't he here, what's the name?" answer Adi judes.

"Daddy.." Said Ica looking at Adi, as if admonishing Adi not to do that again.

"gue rarely sees him hanging out with you again." Said Irwan

"yes same as Ica." replied Gina.

"Gin.sorry.." Ica's response held Gina's hand.

"sorry, I took Ica from you" continued Irwan

For some reason tonight Irwan is different than usual, tonight he is a little friendly than usual.

Ica and Gina ended up spending time together, the two of them had long since not had a casual conversation like this while Adi approached the dining table taking a little snack. I'm still in the same place looking at the crowd from afar. "gue knows you all don't like me." Irwan.

"..." I looked at him.

"it may sound strange, but it seems like I'm really in love with her" Irwan explained

"love is weird." I said flatly.

"gue felt Ica should be happy."

"it is an obligation, because if you don't you'll deal with me." I looked him straight in the eye.

Irwan laughed at my words. "it turns out you can stray it, I didn't expect."

"denger bro, Ica is my friend. If you want to make her happy it's good but if you just mess with her let me be clear once more, you'll deal with me." I said as I approached and looked intently at her eyes as if defiant.

Irwan smiling. And he said, "gue said, now I really love him."

Just this time I saw the honest-looking eyes of Irwan, all this time he was just playing around and I'm sure it was but today he was being serious. I sat back down after confirming Irwab's words, I looked back at the starless sky.

"oi." Wahid.

"yo." I said as I shook hands, the friendlies that I often do four.

"hi bro." Said Irwan greeting Wahid.

"hi.., where's Adi?"

"no." I said pointing at Adi who was enjoying her snack.

"btw thank u Man, have helped me during this committee." Wahid.

"just relax bro. By the way I saw you're the same girl, who was it?" said teasing.

"huh.. Oh that, his name is Ike."

"Ike from the Department of Communication." continued Irwan.

"yes." replied Wahid as he turned towards Immang.

"i had expected that a popular guy like you could know every pretty girl on this campus" I told Irwan

"gue never expected to be a popular guy bro." replies Irwan.

"no news."

"hi Wahid." Said Ica who was seen approaching after talking a lot with Gina.

"hi You two." Wahid replied.

We also talk about something that is not important, ranging from small things to big things. It's not the weight of the conversation that's the main topic but the togetherness that we missed tonight, that's what really matters.

Time cannot be compromised, tonight the official committee is dissolved and the small party is over. Although the atmosphere was still crowded but I chose to return because basically I did not like the crowd too much.

It's been 11pm, for me it's been very night but other friends still think 11 o'clock is too early to stop togetherness. Like the campus world, night sleep will be reduced. If you do not spend the night with college assignments, then the night will run out because of campus activities or just being together and talking.

I walked to the campus parking lot, before I decided to go home I first went to the SME complex because there are items that I have to take at the Karate SME secretariat.

When I arrived, I saw Ilham sitting alone in a dark garden. He was accompanied by his favorite cup of black coffee. Without a second thought I approached him to say hello. "Ham.."

Inspiration turned to me, he looked at me for a moment and went back to sipping his black coffee.

"huff, what's up, bro?" said.

"can't I join."

"of course, relax bro."

I approached and sat down beside him, he thrust his black coffee at me, hesitantly taking and sipping the black coffee. "where are you?" ask Ilham.

"from the Faculty." I replied.

"oh."

"yes."

This awkward conversation bothered me, I finally came out to him. "Pam. I'm sorry."

Inspiration to see me, he looked confused by what I said. "I'm sorry? Why are you Man? It hurt?" inspirational Reply.

I was a little surprised by the response of Inspiration like that, I was confused and did not know where to start saying it to him.

"Pam. Anu, remind me that time I had your mind."

"snaps? Which one?"

"that's three, three with Adi. I told you to make a lupain Ica."

"oh that, yes."

"sorry I'm Ham, I didn't mean to tell you that."

"jeez Man. I'm not offended at all because what you say is true." Ilham explained.

"so you're not angry?"

"gue isn't a kid, just angry because of what I said."

"but during this week you are rarely on campus. What's up?" my many.

"ohs. I just need time to think about my feelings. I need time to think clearly."

Ilham said that he thought about what I said, he really thought about it. During her disappearance she tries to convince her feelings until she realizes that her feelings are right, she loves Ica but now it's time to give up, giving up the false hopes that Ilham himself tries to build.

"so Ham, you hot?" questions I shouldn't have asked.

"iya Man's. It's time to give up, not because I don't love but know that I need to love."

"or self yah." I replied while contemplating the words of Inspiration.

"yes, know yourself Man. If not so I will certainly go further and eventually get lost in the shadows that I made myself." explained Ilham.

"You're right Ham."

It seems that the words of Ilham made me think of the feelings I also had, my feelings towards Alfy. "oh yes, I heard in the Faculty again rame?"

"yes, the dissolution of the committee."

"did you see Ica?"

"yes, she's with Irwan."

"oh, is he happy?"

"does he seem very happy?" Answer me

"do you think Irwan will hurt him?" tanya Ilham looked at me.

I came to think of saying yes, but after I met Irwan tonight at the Faculty and heard that he loved Ica I finally said the opposite. "no Ham." I said.

"sure you Man?"

"i'm not sure, but.. I think Irwan really loves Ica."

"gue. Thanks Man."

I saw Ilham pull out his black beaded bracelet and he clasped it as if he didn't want to part from his childhood love. It is hard for an Inspiration to let go of the promise he has said first to the little girl who owns the black bracelet.

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