You & Dusk
Start to Doubt

(Flashback Part)

I'd be damned if I just stole a look at him like I do now. She looks beautiful in the covered clothes she wears. Not infrequently I look for attention to him, but if it continues like that then there is no progress. I'd better get close and try to take him on the road.

I exhaled. "Fy.. You have a show tomorrow?" my many.

"tomorrow? Tomorrow, it doesn't seem to be. Why?"

"i want to make sure you walk, hehe." I said while scratching my head a little embarrassed.

"road? I want to take the same path as Arman. Why don't you go with Roid or a guy's temen." Alfy's plain answer.

"Hehe. Can't yah?"

"if Arman dares to go to my house, take Abi's path with me." His word.

"he.. Yes if you can't Fy." I said with a red face in embarrassment.

I also came out of the SME Scientific reasoning secretariat because I was embarrassed to be rejected by Alfy, outside I met with Idan who was sitting while smoking a cigarette. "yo.." said Idan.

"yo, the feeling was with Roid" I said.

"he went to the ad building with Wildy, just now."

"ohhhhh.."

"who is in Dalem?"

"Alfy's with Irene."

"Alfy?"

"sorrys.. Sorry.. I mean Fina." I'm clear.

"is that you like well the same Fina?" Idan said that momentarily changed my heartbeat.

"uh uh? Mean what? There's-there's you." I tried to dodge.

"it's Man, be honest with me. The SME kids know about it." His word.

"HHAAAAHHHH? know what? Don't slander." I tried to evade once again.

"jiahh, your face is like a clown. I'm telling you same you yeah bro, where there's a guy who loves a girl's nickname if it's not because he likes that girl. Uh bro, that old school concept was a long time ago. You often call him Alfy, while the other kids call him Fina. Still want to fuck???" obviously Idan.

"his name is that. Check it out." again I tried to dodge.

"yes.. But the friends would call him Fina. that's been his nickname. He also justifies it."

Because I couldn't dodge it, I finally confessed to Idan. "eheheh, I look so good if I like him?" my many.

"from the beginning was also tired bro. Hahaha." replied Idan while laughing.

"so now where is your relationship with Fina? Did you shoot him?" ask Idan.

"yet, afraid bro, I'm afraid of being rejected by him" I replied.

"gue predictions you will be rejected." Said Idan looking at me from toe to head.

"uh uh? Am I that bad, huh?"

"so ugly Man." she replied.

"that's yeah." I'm downcast losing hope.

"hahaha kidding bro." Idan said to my back.

"adduh, pain ****."

"sorry sorry bro. I was kidding. Gini Man, I'll tell you. You have to know how Fina is, you should know for yourself from the way her clothes are, you can say she is not a girl carelessly bro. The clothes are thick like that." explains Idan

"yes Idan, his name is also shar'i clothes." I tried to defend Alfy.

"that's what I mean by man. Lu has certainly been rejected, the Fina is his religion good while you are good, your religion is like a dust grain."

Hearing that I was like in a slap when Idan told me. I immediately realized from the false hope that had been shadowing my mind. I should have known from the beginning, but because of my selfishness in loving Alfy I turned a blind eye and I was controlled by love and continued to pursue it until I closed my eyes to understand him.

That's right Idan said, what's my day. I only studied religion at school and after graduation I never studied again. Alfy is the woman I love, she is a sholeha woman while I am the only one who enters her life trying to approach her the wrong way for her, once again true said Idan I will be rejected by him.

"Arman, are you still here?" ask Alfy who suddenly came out of the Secretariat.

I looked at Alfy, I watched him from the tips of his feet and head. All covered, the only thing that was visible was her pretty face, the face that always interrupted my sleep at night. "Yes." I said briefly.

"hi Fin is going, where are you going?" ask Idan.

"yes, it just so happens that this afternoon there is a lecture schedule. I went to my Faculty first yeah." she said as she walked away from us both.

I looked at him, saw his back getting further away. "can I reach for him?" I said unconscious.

"can't bro." replied Idan.

"paan the hell ."

"yes you, daydreaming.. Mbloo is not a lot of drama. Haha." Idan seems to be enjoying my current love problem.

Out of all my friends, I asked why that guy had to be Idan, his words were true, making me keep thinking about all the effort I had put in to get close to Alfy. The more I think, the more I feel unworthy of Alfy.

On the way home I kept thinking about it, on the bike kept thinking about it, because disturbed by that thought I decided to unwind by going to my favorite place to enjoy the twilight.

At that point I looked up at the sky that was starting to turn orange, I kept asking "do I deserve Alfy?" the question kept spinning in my head. Until dusk sank, I still could not answer that heavy question.

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