Woman Without Womb
Chapter 50 - This Is Not What I Want

Morning, when the sun has not yet risen. But Maudy had pulled two suitcases and she also took out all her luggage. Fortunately, in the morning, there was a taxi operating. So Maudy doesn't have to be bothered at all.

And it's been since last night that he deliberately gave word to Farhan. If he's going home. Maudy doesn't care if Farhan will read the message or not. What matters is that he gave me news.

“It's the end of my life and I hope, I won't go through grief again. Nothing, I split up with a husband who could not appreciate me at all. Than I live in the middle of people who can't price me at all.”

The woman turned her face towards the still dark street. He looked back. His home.

“I don't think I can be here anymore either. Mommy is more on their side and if I split with Farhan. I need to find a new place. Which is definitely not here.”

“Pak wait a minute. I have a business first into,” pinta Maudy very politely on the taxi driver who still put his goods.

“Iya miss .. I wait.”

Maudy set foot in front of Salma's room. Very slowly he opened the door and looked at the still-sleeping mother. He smiled faintly and took a deep breath.

“It feels heavy staying here. But I really can't hold on much longer. But mother just calm down, I will return again if my heart is calmer and if I already feel much better.”

Maudy put the letter she wrote and a photo on the table.

Flashback last night

Last night Maudy chose to give the right gift to be loved to the mother of Salma. Before he left. Until Maudy found a picture of her at the age of two and was in the arms of Salma's mother.

One of the photos that Maudy really likes to look very scrappy and Maudy wants to gift the photo and give a letter to his mother.

/For my dear mother ...

From the mother's child that I hope can mother dear as well.

     Mother .. It's me, Maudy. The child who was born first from the mother's stomach and followed by Nadya. I'm the same Nadya in the same stomach but why do you love Nadya more? Mother knows not. If little Maudy often wonders why I'm all this natural. Why am I different like other children who are always happy. But I never got the affection of bundan and mother just love Nadya aja. I wasn't.

     But back again. The little guy began to understand that the world is not just revolving in him and he began to learn that there will be a time when mother also love me. But in fact the feeling disappeared replaced with a thin smile. Who tried to realize that I was never in my dear mother, until anytime.

    But mother calm down. Mother is still my best parent. But sorry. It was after dad because the father was always there for me even though sometimes the father of Nadya's main step. But it's not a problem at all.

    Mother ... I sometimes want the same mother. Mother actually love is not the same me? Mommy ever think about my feelings anyway? From the fitting mother I was small always defend Nadya compared to me or when the mother angry me in front of all my friends? Even though it was just that I forgot to bring Nadya's provisions.

    Maybe for me it was a small thing. But not for me. I remember everything. That pent-up pain made me have to take a sedative. Mother doesn't know, right? But here I am. I have to take medicine so I can control myself. Mother will never know my struggle fitting in a room that can only cry doang. Mother will never understand. Until whenever I don't understand.

    I started to be happy after I got married to Farhan. He's one of my sources of encouragement and happiness. But everything has been taken and why did the mother permit them? When I need your defense. Again and again I was never defended. Do you understand how I feel?

    I am the woman of the night-lover who hopes that in the darkness of my life there is one star that will illuminate. But in fact it is not. A drug I have not taken since marriage. Now I have to drink again and it really hurts. And one yes bun .. I do not know you already know from Nadya or not. But that time I was stupid and almost killed my own life and now I'm sorry. But I'm missing gini, just want you to know that I'm as sad and sick as that.

    Money isn't everything, bun and I don't need money. Insha Allah .. I can find it myself but mentally I will not be healed until anytime and now I just ask for prayers with mother so that all my affairs can be finished quickly.

    Thanks for your concern with me all this time. I love you more than anyone and I hope you can be happy. Oh yeah, I think if I'm officially divorced with Farhan. I'll go first, Bun. I'm sorry I was selfish.

Once again I love the mother and always pray that the mother is healthy always.

Your dear son – Maudy/

***

The journey feels very fast because the road is still slow and there are few other vehicles in the morning kayak gini.

Before long, the car arrived in front of his house. A house that now feels foreign to Maudy. He looked at the house and chose to go down. He took out all his belongings and gave money to the taxi driver.

“Can ... You can definitely!”

Maudy took all her stuff to the front of the door. It makes a pretty loud noise. Maudy just hopes the noise doesn't keep people in the house until they wake up.

He reached into the bag and searched for the key. After finding it he just opened the door and bragh .. a dokeman was thrown in his face as soon as the door opened until Maudy grimaced softly as his eyes hit the heavy file.

“Bare home you!” farhan exclaimed very loudly making Maudy could only close his eyes. Resisting the intense emotion.

“This is my home and I came to take this letter. But if you really do not want to see me here, I will politely lift foot from your original home you already love to me.”

Farhan pulls Maudy rough into the house and throws her in, causing Maudy's body to stumble over the edge of the table and their wedding frame to fall apart.

Maudy stared blankly at the photo. Ah, I deserve it. This is finally. Even a ruined photograph has become a sign like this.

Maudy tried to get up and look her husband in the eye.

“You're good, right mas?” maudy asked with an increasingly wounded heart. “Some don't see you and now I see you. Make me feel like you're faster. So now I'm sure that you'd rather stay with Nadya. I guess you don't need me. So sign the letter yes. I beg.”

“LETTER WHAT YOU MEAN.”

Farhan took the letter and tore it apart so Maudy could only cry in silence.

“Mas once said to you. I will never divorce you and you will not divorce me at all. You should be on the other side. There is now Nadya. Even though I am not in love with you right now. Even though now I love Nadya and do not need you. I will never let you”

Farhan approached and gripped Maudy's cheek until she struggled and could only grimace. Because he lost his power.

“Because mas tau .. You are sneaky and after thinking again. Instead of letting you split up and can leak all the problems in this house. So you stay in this house! Just be careful if you dare to do anything outside the will that mas say.”

“Mas ..”

“Today I've been patient with you. But you keep acting up and now I'm tired of you. Go into your room and contemplate your mistakes and if you have. Come to the mas and bow at the feet of the mas! You're sorry the same mas.”

“But ..”

“GO IN YOUR ROOM MAUDY!” farhan exclaimed while dragging the woman.

Maudy kept yelling until Farhan pushed her into the room and locked her away.

“Mas won't let you out before you realize all your actions! Just stay there and think of everything. Again act up. I will not hesitate to do something much more evil and later tonight I will have a serious conversation with you. So do not expect later tonight you can talk snapped to mas again.”

Maudy cried and continued to shake the door. This is not what he wanted. But Maudy only heard the sound of footsteps leaving the front of her room.

“Mas ... Don't lock me. I just want justice. Not another,” cried with a very hoarse voice.

He continued banging until his body slumped behind the door and ended up Maudy who was curling herself. He cried, roared, and lamented the problems of his life that never sided with him.

“This is not what I want. Not this .. You are evil. My body hurts,” he said stammeringly.

“I don't like ..”