Him
episode 61

It's been almost a week more I've been in Hanoi.My job here feels increasingly difficult.Why not, I have to give the right direction to the Quality supervisors in this company, he said,Sometimes the jump right into production is watching how they do their job properly.

Not to mention teaching Anne how to handle the company if this is so.

Sometimes, stress itself.

I feel endless fatigue.

***

Pim told me that he did not return to work in Bangkok.he had to continue his late father's business.A building materials shop in Chantaburi.

There was a bit of a feeling of separation to her.

Bangkok and Chantaburi have a good distance to travel.

It's okay when I'm going to visit her.

***

This Sunday afternoon it rained.I was alone in the house I lived in Hanoi.

Anne's been back in Bangkok for two days.

Me and accompanied by a warm cup of tea sat on the back porch of the house.I was a little dreamy.

I opened my Instagram account.See Pim's post a Ring.I asked a little, Ring from whom I thought.

The post is neither comment nor like. Maybe it's a ring from someone, so even then he will tell it.

***

I picked up my phone that was ringing.

Phone from mama.

" hello, assalamualaikum mah.gimana how are you.?? Thank goodness then."

" why mah, home??" i laugh.

" Don't know when? now Ayi is still in Hanoi, still do not know when to go to Bangkok." " Why the hell, what's wrong??"

" why, Do you want to be known to the poor mama's friend's daughter??" i'm laughing...

"So, why would anyone want to marry Ayi??" I said with a laugh.

" Ooo.. Have they ever played at home mommy??"

" Would you just play into the mansion, is there a proposal??"

" New indirectly, right mahh??"

" don't play just accept mah.kan Ayi also need to explore first??" I said laugh again.

" Oo, if you want the phone number Ayi kasih aja mah, gag what." I said again.

" His name is Ridwan mah??said he knew Ayi? Whereabouts?? jakarta.masa sih.ayi gag know.ngaku ngaku kali mah??" I said with a long laugh.

" Yes mah Ayi seriously.mamah anyway so it's not curious Ayi ."

" yes, yes, always gag ninggalin pray.insyaallah." I said with a small laugh.

" Mamah take care of health conditions.salam for Jani mas sama mas Hanif."

" Oiya, Davinka's sister what's her name?? Davidi?? Guys anyway ma.kok looks like Ayi..." I said laugh again

***

" Phone from who Lee is." Anne's voice suddenly startled me.

" uhh, Miss Philips.when did it come??" I said while joking.

He just looked at me a little flat.I immediately drew my smile.

" How is the state of the factory in Hanoi Lee.what has improved its process.?" ask her.

Aduhh, why the hell came directly asking production.Directly dizzy I think of her.

" ee...There are still obstacles Miss 'but I monitor it continuously." I said while giving some data that I showed through my work laptop.

I explained one by one to him.

" You should be even more assertive, Lee emphasized the quality of production to them" he said a little firmly.

" i've tried Miss, that it should be like that." I explained.

***

Suddenly my phone went back to ringing.this time from Pim.

Anne glanced at my phone as well.she looked at me.I let it go while continuing to discuss about the work to Anne.

Again, my phone rang many times.

" I'm Overtime." I said.

" Just pick it up, or do you want me to lift it up.?" Said Anne cynically.

I picked up the phone from Pim.

The conversation I cut, that I was with a working relationship from Vietnam.Later I will call him if it is finished.

I was about to continue the conversation with Anne, but she seemed reluctant.

" Tomorrow Lee discussed her in the company.I'm already lazy." answered her ketus.I stared at her a little irritated, and stood leaving her.

I went into the room and slammed the door.

***

Me: "What's Pim doing, how are you??"

Pim: "Good Lee... How did you do in Hanoi?is it good too."

me: "eee..so far I can still handle Pim." answered me.

" I'm sorry I rarely call you, I'm busy."

i said again.

Pim:" that's okay Lee I understand...Lee, what am I gonna talk to you about??" said seriously.

me: "What the hell is it??"

Pim: "Lee, yesterday my uncle came to Chantaburi.sister of my late father?"

me: " Then??"

Pim: "I'm betrothed to someone."

me: "Well, congratulations Pim ?" I said with a little claustrophobic.

Pim: "Lee, am I serious?!" said.

me: "yes, I'm serious too Pim. congratulations?"

Pim: "Yes...!?" He said he started crying. It felt like my chest tightness was hearing her sad cry.

Me: "Then, I have to how Pim ??" Ask slowly.

Pim: "I don't want Lee..But my uncle insisted.if not my father's efforts will he take over.How is the fate of the younger brother who is still in school ??" He said while sobbing.

Pim :" said my uncle, If my father's efforts aunty who holds him does not want.He does not believe in my mother continued me."

if I'm the one who holds it, I'm supposed to marry his men who understand the effort.?"

I still quietly listened to him.

Pim: "I have to how Lee..??""I can't bear the life of my own aunt and two sisters?" He said while crying

me: " Then how should I be??" I said slowly.

Pim: "I want to be with you, Lee, please take me away." He said sobbing Isak.

I take a breath.My chest is also tight.my heart breaks.I hold back the cry.

****

Me: "I'm sorry Pim, I can't." I said briefly.

She was crying sobbing.

Me: "I can't Pim, not because I don't take your side or don't love you. Really, I can't.sorry I'm Pim." My lips were shaking, and I was shedding tears.

Me: "I hope you will live your destiny.Your uncle chose someone good for you.for your life?"

Me: "Married to Pim. And be happy."

I said a little stuck.I cried.I was very broken.

****

All night long I cried.calling her name small while staring at the photo of Pim .There's an inexorable feeling, like getting ripped apart.

My chest is tight.It seems like I just want to die and turn on myself who is so weak.

This is the pain of having the wrong Love.The feeling that should be buried deep.I should not let this feeling live.

Many times I blame myself.But my Fate.

This is the figurative meaning - This is How Love, The suffering never Ends

Damn, why should I experience it anyway.