DIORAMAS
4. About the Wounds
“Mas Jendra?” I was just about to put the tubmi I scooped from the plate into my mouth when a voice distracted me and undoed the intention to put the bakmi in. Squinted and looked up to find out who the owner of the soft and graceful voice that had just called out to Jendra with a voice that sounded so far-fetched. “Hai, do not expect if you can meet with mas here.”
But even though I don't really like this girl's style of speaking, I secretly admire her as well. See how beautiful she is with the whip of a boat she makes curling at the end and also her makeup. Oh, I suddenly remembered how pitiful an Alia who was completely unfamiliar with the world of per-make ups. But beyond that, I do admire that this girl is beautiful.
“Hai, Tya.”
And yes, this beautiful girl I secretly admire is Hesti Prasetya, one of my college friends with Jendra even though the three of us are in different majors. And also, I didn't know they were both that familiar until Jendra would rather call the girl by the name of Tya than call her Nesti.
But it doesn't matter because I don't care. What matters is what Hesti is doing here and what he is saying hello to Jendra in a really annoying way. I don't know much about this girl because from the beginning I've said that my college life is not a campus life filled with elements of popularity.
“Oh, I was not aware that mas Jendra was with someone.” And I increasingly do not understand why this beautiful girl should look at me with such a cynical look.
“Halo,” sapaku reluctantly. Stab a piece of chicken from my baking plate and put it in my mouth lazily. The next few seconds I began to curse myself who so easily admired someone's beauty. Look how this girl looks at me like a princess staring at a disgusting centipede.
“What are you doing here? with whom?”
“Just got home from work, happened to pass by and felt familiar with the car.and I decided to stop by.” he replied as he pointed to Jendra's car parked outside the store with his chin. Really, who would want to pay attention to a car parked in a parking lot at a bakmi shop at night like this?
“Oh yes? Have you worked for? work where?”
“Not far from here.” He answered briefly before glancing back at me with his sharp tail. “I'd better find another chair, mas. Sorry to bother you.”
Either because I was so curious about the beautiful girl Jendra called by the name of Tya or I was curious about her figure, I even followed Nesti with my gaze until the girl sat down on one of the chairs and waved her hand to call the maid. Lalai noticed Jendra's changing face, and again I don't know what it was because of.
“He's one of our college friends right, mas?”
“Ya?”
“Hesti.”
“Oh, Tya? Yes, from the accounting department that graduated with us.”
“Once,”
There was one expression I missed from Jendra when I mentioned Tya's name in front of me. And either because I was too indifferent or Jendra was so good at hiding the look on his face. It took me a few minutes until I realized that Jendra was disturbed by the presence of Nesti in this tavern. Really, I am not pretentious or want to speculate too much about Jendra and the whereabouts of Hesti, just that the look on Jendra's face forces me to think about it.
“You know familiar?” many doubt. Yes, in fact, I had indeed thought about that possibility even though I was still in doubt myself. I didn't want to second-guess and I decided to ask directly.
“Who?”
“Mas and Hesti. You guys knew each other in college?” I still repeat in the same tone. Flat.
“Ehm, how did mas say it, yes?” I know it's not a question. That's why I chose to be quiet and wait until Jendra continued his sentence which still hangs. And my God, why is my heart beating so fast?
“Actually mas and Tya had a date before we finally broke up and we started dating.”
It was like a fish thorn was scattered on the road that I went through and accidentally stepped on and made me grimace. Not until it bleeds, but still the wound because the thorn makes me curse annoyed even if only in the heart. Makes me lose the sentence because the words I have at the end of my tongue again I swallowed for then I processed again in this simple brain of mine.
“Oh, so Hesti your ex-boyfriend.”
Of course, there were a lot of questions running through my head when I found out that Jendra and Hesti were ex-lovers. And the simple questions that were in my brain suddenly became a series of questions that made my heart break.
“Can you know when you guys broke up?” my question while looking at the direction of Hesti who now looks busy with a cellphone in his hand.
“Alia,”
“Jawab only, mas. I just want to know.”
“One month before we date.” Jendra replied half reluctantly after taking a deep breath and exhaling it back with a huff. Again it took a long time for my brain to digest Jendra's answer.
“His ex-girlfriend Jendra? Where do I know how many. Even in your majors there may be some who have dated Jendra, Al.” and the unimportant sentence Andy suddenly returned tingling in my head. Also the laughter he might have let out to make the atmosphere not too stiff because unconsciously the man had just disappointed me.
“Rajendra is not a good man despite the fact that he is also not a bad man, Al. How do I say it, huh? I said Jendra was similar to a coin, had two opposite sides, and only the person who owned the coin could put which side he thought was better, that's how it was. So now it's up to you to see Jenda's good side or focus on her bad side, Al.”
Andy's words are like a slap to me. I neglected to think of such an important thing that I was only fixated on one side of the life of Rajendra Yudhistira. I think Jendra is a kind-hearted guy who willingly accepts ordinary and annoying girls like me. And I also neglected to think about the fact that I couldn't just look at someone from one side.
“One month before we date?” mummify slowly. Unknowingly smiled bitterly and grabbed my drink glass to disguise my own anger.
“It's just the past, Al. Now it's just us, you and me.”
“No, no, mas. I was just thinking.ah no, not nothing.” Ah, in fact I even had trouble conveying what was crammed into my head. And of the many speculations about my relationship with Jendra, I can only draw the conclusion that Jendra made me an escape after breaking up from Hesti.
Why would I be so cruel to come to such a conclusion? Because Jendra and I were close for almost a year before we decided to date, and a few minutes ago Jendra admitted that she had just broken up from Hesti a month before we were dating.
“I'm done. Come home. You'll be angry when I get home late. Ice cream next time.” My words don't go away either. Really can not stand the irregular speculations that suddenly appear due to the presence of one person. One person from Jendra's past, and one person alone is enough to make me stray and have trouble controlling myself.
“Sorry messing up our dinner, Al.”
‘Today I have always felt guilty because I thought I was making you an escape from Revelation, mas. But it was you who made me an escape from Hesti.’
If only. If I hadn't thought about Rajendra's feelings, I would have shouted that line and a string of other words that would have somehow made our relationship what it was. Just because I was too afraid that I would hurt Jendra's feelings, I chose to swallow him back.
‘For sometimes there are quite a few things others keep for themselves, Al. And that rule also applies to Jendra.’
True too, there must be a reason why Jendra did not tell me about the fact that before dating me the man had been in a relationship with Hesti. Also Jendra must have had a reason why he approached me as if he was a single man who was not bound by anyone while at the same time he was dating Hesti.
“You sure accept Jendra as your girlfriend, Al?” even the question Mika asked me half a year ago was back in my head. Six months ago, when I told the girl that I was officially dating Jendra.
“And why do you look so doubtful, Ka?”
“Obviously I doubt, Al. Everyone knows who Rajendra Yudhistira is. The flamboyant who knows how many girls in our village who became his ex-girlfriend. And now, you..”.
“I'm comfortable when with her, Ka.”
“You know where you should come when Jendra starts giving you cuts, Al.” and that's Mika. He never forbade me nor opposed the decision I made. But the girl also always provides her shoulder whenever I want to cry and always provides her ear whenever I want to complain.
And now, the only thing I want to do is run towards Mika and tell her about the pain I got tonight. Ah, is it true that tonight Jendra has given me a wound? Or am I the one who deliberately doused this small scratch on my heart with salt water to make it gap and become a severe wound?
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