DIORAMAS
10. Other Name

“Tomorrow home ride what, Al?”

I had just hung up my phone with my father when Tristan, who had been sitting next to me ten minutes ago, started to open the conversation. It made me smile and take a deep breath. Pressing the shutter button on my phone camera and shooting a photo of the view of Jakarta at night that I can enjoy from the roof of the fifth-floor hotel.

“Car rail, mas.” I answered half reluctantly and went back to observing the city lights that looked faint in my eyes and looked like fireflies in a jar.

The last night of my training was in Jakarta and I chose to sit on the rooftop terrace of the hotel instead of enjoying the night with a walk to the shopping center like my other friends did.

‘Mumpung given permission from the committee, Al. When else to travel without time restrictions in Jakarta?’

I even remember very well the grin Fira gave me when the girl invited me to come with her and the others for a walk. Call what I refuse and make them grunt dislike and say me as a child mommy. Really, indeed who cares about the nickname that Fira gave me just because I chose to languish in the hotel instead of enjoying the night together with the others? I'm not stupid enough to spend the night and go back to the hotel until the early hours of the morning while tomorrow afternoon I'll travel all the way from Jakarta to Yogyakarta. But well, that's not the only reason why I don't want to go out because I want to be alone and think about what I can think of when I'm alone like this.

“Self?” the effort was futile because I could only enjoy my solitude less than half an hour before Tristan finally came out of nowhere.

“To be together with Bu Nur and mbak Fira, but it turns out they both want to stop by Bandung first with others. So well, I'm alone.”

Well, I even got annoyed at the two of my teammates when with the rest they canceled the promise to go home along with the train and chose to go home by bus with the others, he said, even though a week earlier we even promised to book tickets together.

“You did not take a vacation to Bandung first? Almost all the participants are there, Al. I even heard they're renting a bus.”

‘I don't care about the great Tristan mas,.! I don't care where they go on vacation and when.! I just want to hurry home and solve my problem, that's it.!’

I thought I had shouted that line to Tristan before I realized that I was even busy looking down and watching the lights of the vehicle down there that I could reach with my eyes. Ignoring Tristan who was seen waiting for my answer and occasionally took a deep breath.

“Have already booked a ticket, mas.”

“Kan can be canceled, or replaced schedule, Al. After all for the sake of familiarity between participants also ‘kan?”

“I'll get drunk on a vehicle if I take a long-distance bus.”

“Then just like this, we take the train from Jakarta to Bandung, later we arrive at the tourist object we take a taxi, how?”

We were? Geez, what do you want this guy? Couldn't he see the word rejection from the answer I gave him? It is true that during the training period, without me realizing I was not as stiff and closed as at the beginning of the training period, it just does not mean that Tristan can force me like that right?

“Thank you for the offer, mas. But there are some agendas that I have to finish in jogja.”

I deliberately showed you the black agenda book that had been lying on my lap just to make Tristan sure that I could not go on vacation with the others. I am not a typical person who is very busy to have to record every event that I attend in the agenda book, but really, I like to carry out an agenda book and record anything that I think is interesting in it. Sounds silly, but I feel ‘not alone’ every time I bring my agenda book with me.

“E.A? this is what, Al?” and I didn't realize when that piece of paper fell from my agenda book and when Tristan picked it up from the floor. Only, when I realized what was currently in Tristan's hands and was trying to read, I immediately grabbed it as if it was a piece of paper that was something very valuable.

“I go back to the room first, mas. Excuse me.”

There was a strange feeling as I glanced at this piece of paper in my hand and found E. A.'s initials there. I even ignored Tristan who tried to call me and chose to run towards my room at the end of the fourth floor corridor.

E.A, of course I realize very well what writing is on this piece of paper in my hand. A short message I got from a guy at the public library in late December last year.

“E.A” muttered as I lay down my body on the mattress and observed the writing on the paper. Back to turning the memory where I first saw it from the sidelines of a row of books. When I looked at three and found him smiling at me, his eyes were behind his glasses. Also the memories every time I stole a glance at him when the man was reading his biology book and I was hiding behind a reading table bounded in the corner of the library.

“When do I get the courage to greet you properly?”

Yeah, I have to admit that after that day, the day that E. A. gave me the message, I saw it a few times in the public library. Well, although I have to admit that every time I see it, my guts to say hello to E. A. always go out somewhere. I always transformed into a timid Alia every time I saw E. A. walk into the library building and stand next to the shelf row of biology books. Always biology.

‘If none of you greet first, until anytime you will not know each other, nduk.’

I even remember very well the riled face of Mr. Wardi when I saw him only watching E. A. from behind the last reading table without daring to approach and greet him. I'm sure E.A didn't notice my absence in that library because I was always hiding when he came and snuck like a petty thief on my way home only to have E.A unaware of my whereabouts.

And the last time I saw him was a week before my departure for Jakarta last January. I had just entered the library gate to return the book when I saw E. A. standing in the building while occasionally looking into the library building. It was already late in the afternoon and the public library would be closed in ten minutes.

‘*That mass today is also coming, nduk.’

‘She comes every day huh pack*?’ my much at that time. Pay attention to Mr. Wardi who recorded my loan book while occasionally correcting the location of his glasses.

‘Almost every day, just in time for lunch break. But today he came from lunch hour to ten minutes before closing. It's also because I remind you to perbus want to close.’

‘Once,’

And yes, in fact, my curiosity about E. A. that had been disguised last month is back most beautiful because of this piece of paper in my hand. I wonder who the E. A. really is? I wonder if that guy comes to the library every day? And to be sure, I wonder if in the past we actually met?

“Hopefully, when I come back later that courage can be greater than before.” I muttered unconsciously.

Grasping the piece of paper and bringing it closer to me. Breathing in so many times that I didn't realize when I was asleep that I forgot to turn off the room lights and let them light up.

I also did not realize that until I really fell asleep, I muttered the name E. A. repeatedly until I forgot that there should be another name that I mummified.

* * * * *