DIORAMAS
29. Will You
“Alia Adiatma does sound a little strange, but I will still change your last name with my last name, Al. Sooner.”
If I hadn't remembered that I was in an office where working hours were going on, I might have let Evan out of control and kissed me. If I had not immediately remembered the principle I had long held that I would only give my first kiss to my husband, I might have lost control. I can't even imagine what would have happened between me and Evan if I hadn't shaken and touched both sides of Evan's face with my cold hands.
“Not now, mas.” My words are timid. Staring into Evan's pair of eyes to find out if there was a disappointment in the rejection I gave him?
“Of course, waiting any minute will not make me die, dear.” But no, the look of anger and disappointment I was worried about was nowhere to be seen. The look in Evan's eyes was still as intense as ever. It made me take a deep breath and close my eyes as Evan kissed me on my forehead for a few seconds. “Saturday night before you leave for Bandung, my family and I will come.” Evan continued after pulling his face and touching my left cheek with his right hand which also felt cold.
“You are sure of your step, mas?”
“ Never been this sure.”
“There are many things I do not know about you, and there are many shortcomings that you do not know about me.”
“We have plenty of time to get to know each other, Al. About my life, my family, even my past, you have so much time to know all that.”
And Evan's line made me remember Sofia's sentence, as well as my own one that I had spoken to Evan a few days ago. That, two people who are getting married do not have to know each other for a very long time, because they both have a lot of time to get to know each other.
“Mother and father have agreed.”
“Alhamdulillah, then later in the afternoon I will take you home and meet with mom and dad to talk about this proposal.” said Evan in an unyielding confident tone made me smile and felt my heart warm up instantly when Evan said ‘lamaran ini’.
Maybe this all sounds too fast considering the age of my introduction to Evan and the fact that for almost six months I left Jogja and lived in Bandung which means me and Evan live in the city different ones. Only, there are some parts that until this moment I never shared or told others. Some parts about my relationship with Evan, as well as some parts about our lives that we both keep for just the two of us. About some parts of Evan's life that the guy told me about even though I knew it was just one small part of Evan Adiatma's life.
“You will definitely accuse me of being a braggart if I say I have never had a serious relationship with a woman, Al.” and that is one of the many questions in my head about Evan.
“So?”
“Papa a soldier who will only come home once every three months or sometimes even longer, I am the first child and boy in my family.” Even though I didn't ask any further, I started to understand where Evan was talking. “I didn't get to do it, Al. I was given the responsibility by papa to take care of my mom and my two sisters, so, yes.
“Mas Evan is not lonely? Or at least to be in a relationship with someone you think is special, maybe.” Really, it's not a trick question. I really want to know about Evan's feelings and how he's been living his life all along.
“I have so many office friends, and also a job that keeps me busy. And about being in a relationship with someone special, I will do it when I have found someone who makes me stop looking.” Whether because of my melancholy mood, or Evan's words that sound so sincere, I felt like crying to hear that sentence even though I knew it wasn't Evan talking to me.
And now, given my conversation with Evan a few months ago, also the fact that this man in front of me was a man who so innocently and so boldly proposed to me unruffled made me smile strangely instead of crying out in tears. Making Evan narrow his eyes and reach for the glasses he had left on the table.
“Why smile so?”
“It's okay. Just...” I took a breath and tried to normalize my smile to not have to make Evan raise his eyebrows every time I looked at me. “Only it feels like I still can't believe that I just got proposed by a man. And that man is you, my. It feels like a dream.” My friend was honest because I was not very good at expressing my feelings with excessive diction as I often pour in my writing.
“Do I need to prove that this is not a dream?”
“Mas, ih.”
“What? Do you think I want to prove it in what way? Hm?” this time Evan chuckled while I began to pinch his waist which made the man chuckle. For months I've known Evan, this is the first time I've seen Evan laugh after this. And the man's laughter only stopped when the door of his room was knocked by someone.
“Is it okay for me to be here?” manyu timid. Really, I don't want Evan's friends or anyone to think badly of that man because of my presence in his room.
“Rajendra, what is it?” only, the calm thoughts I felt suddenly came out when Evan's door was opened and someone entered while Evan stood up and walked towards his desk. Rajendras. How ever since I set foot in this office I wish I wouldn't meet Jendra. Not in the loby or anywhere. And now, the man I didn't want to see was standing not far from me and was looking at me with a look that was really hard to spot.
“Alia?”
Six more months I did not meet with Jendra, and now either because his status has changed to a husband or indeed his carrier. But the Jendra I see today is much more mature than the Jendra I met six months ago.
“Mas Jendra, how are you?” ask pleasantries. Making my voice sound ordinary even though there was actually no special feeling that I felt when our gazes met for a while because immediately I turned my gaze to Evan who had been sitting in his work chair.
“What are you doing here, Al? It is impossible ‘kan Alia applying for a job here and is doing a job interview with mas Evan?” asked Jendra who almost made me choke on my own saliva. Rajendra has not changed.
“Alia already works in Bandung, Ndra. So there's no way he's applying for a job here. What's up?”
“Oh, this is an advertising script that has been created by the team that asked yesterday.” I watched Jendra and Evan who had been seen with some unfamiliar chatter that I didn't know about. Being between Evan and Jendra was unobtrusive, making me feel a very difficult feeling. If only Jendra had not been the one who had come into contact with me in the past, it would have been normal for me to feel ordinary and not have to take a deep breath repeatedly. But the fact that Jendra is my ex-boyfriend and Evan is the guy who just proposed to me to be his wife, makes me even more miserable.
“Then what are you doing here, Al?” ask Jendra after finishing his business with Evan and about to pass. God, can't he just go and don't ask?
“Alia meets her future husband, Ndra.” Evan answered before I did. Get out of his chair and get close to me. “There are a few things I should talk about with Sena. We go home after I get back, yeah.”
“Prospective husband?” sue Jendra just as I nodded assuring Evan's words. “Who, Al?”
“What in this room do you see other men besides me and you who are so potential to be the future husband of Alia?” again, I was just about to answer before Evan did it first. Pointing out the intention to open the door of his room and turned towards Jandra who seemed to dislike Evan's answer.
“Mas Evan? You mean Alia met you, mas? But, future husband?” obviously, Jendra keget with Evan's answer and wanted to demand an explanation from me for Evan's answer. It's just that I chose to turn and throw my face away from Jendra's gaze. I think Evan's answer is clear enough and I don't need to add to the explanation. It's not that I still harbor hatred for what Jendra has done in the past, it's just that I don't feel very reluctant to meet with Jendra because before this we've turned our backs on each other and away from each other.
“For a while, Al.” was so with Evan who chose to push the door of his room and get out. Leaving me and Jendra in the room as if Evan was trying to reconcile two hostile friends.
“Alia, what does it mean with a future husband? You're getting married to Evan?” jendra asked after Evan passed from his room and left us both.
“I and mas Evan have not specified our wedding date.”
“You sure? You've only known each other for a few months, Al.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“Of course because you do not know who Evan Adiatma is and Evan does not know who you are.”
This time I even smiled wryly to mock Jendra's sentence which inexplicably sounded very absurd and strange. Do you know what Jendra is about my relationship with Evan?
“Although it's only been a few months, I've known enough who my future husband is, mas. We still have plenty of time to get to know each other. Maybe you need to know that the introduction time does not guarantee someone knows and understands their partner well.” In my heart I admired the words that came out of my own mouth so smoothly as well with good pronunciation. I even felt that the smile on my face was too wide that I felt my cheekbones rising.
But isn't what I said the truth? I experienced it myself on the theory that the length of introduction does not guarantee a person is open with his partner. Jendra and I have known each other for years and have been in a relationship for months, but I know very little about Jendra. About her who didn't really want me, about Jendra who still loves her ex-boyfriend, and about Rajendra who was still looking even though she had me.
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