DIORAMAS
12. Gathering
It was still raining though not as hard as an hour ago when I entered the gates of the public library and took a deep breath.
After nearly two hours of sitting in the shelter alone like a heartbroken girl, the public library became the place to go after her. Instead of going home and making a cup of hot tea, I chose to take a slow step down the sidewalk near the square and turn towards the public library.
Well, yeah, along the way I just imagined the smell of books in the library reading room would make me calmer and maybe I would be there until Mr. Wardi reminded me that the library would be closed and it was time for me to go home.
Sometimes I can be a young woman who is so sentimental when my feelings are uncertain like now. True, in fact I had to take a deep breath many times when I was standing on the terrace of the building and staring straight at the gate of the square and found a red picanto parked there. No, it's not Jendra's car because I've already rammed the guy's car, and I also know that there are dozens of red picantos in town. It's just that my melancholy feelings are becoming more and more so when I remember the fact that the car probably holds a lot of memories between me and Jendra.
“Ah, again you are acting like a young girl who just broke up, Alia.” I muttered to myself as I climbed two steps up the library building and folded the blue umbrella I had been using. Put that thing in an umbrella locker right next to a wooden bench that has been there since when. The last time I visited this place in early February, there was no wooden bench there. Ah, it seems nice to look at the cold tree in front of the library building while sitting on this wooden bench.
But I'm a young woman who just broke up, right? I just broke up with Jendra a month ago and I don't think any heartbreak can recover in such a short time. And again I took a deep breath to neutralize the tightness I always felt whenever I found myself remembering what happened a month ago.
“Bapak thinks you've forgotten the address of this place, nduk.” A great greeting from Mr. Wardi as soon as I walked up to the reception desk after putting my sling bag on the locker in the other corner of the room. “If until Friday tomorrow you have not come, it means exactly two months you forget this place.” and I only put on a thin smile before finally laughing at the words of Mr. Wardi.
“Not forgetting, sir. Haven't been here since returning from Jakarta.”
“It seems like Alia has been very busy since her departure to Jakarta,” timpal bu Indah is no less friendly than Mr. Wardi. In addition to the smell of a book that does not fail to make me calm, the hospitality of two people is what I miss every time I do not come to visit this place.
“Bu Beautiful healthy?”
“Alhamdulillah, training smoothly to?”
“Alhamdulillah smoothly, bu.”
“Many new books waiting to be read, nduk. But before, may you know why your face is so pale?”
I raised next to an eyebrow hearing an unexpected question from Mr. Wardi. Was my face that pale until Mr. Wardi asked me that? I think I've put on a flat face and as usual to cover up my anger so that others don't have to realize how sad Alia Pangesti has been over the past month.
“Too tired maybe, sir. Many meetings and coordination meetings that must be attended during the program.”
“So. Just don't get sick, nduk.” I just nodded in agreement without intending to prolong our conversation. “This is two new books that just came on Monday. But since it's four and a half hours and the library will close, you can take it home.”
I was just about to glance at the wall clock hanging behind the reception desk before Mr. Wardi first reminded me of that. Making me laugh and pay attention to Mr. Wardi who started taking down my two loan books while Ms. Indah started tidying up the service desk and tidying up the visitor attendance attendance book.
“Please excuse me, mas. Library will close in ten minutes, mas can come back tomorrow at eight in the morning.”
“Oh, sorry ma'am, I didn't realize it was four o'clock. Thanks for reminding.”
I faintly heard a conversation between Ms. Lovely and one of the library visitors. The conversation that made me smile strangely as I remembered the first time Mr. Wardi reminded me that the library would be closed in ten minutes. The conversation that took place three years ago, and the first conversation between me and this man.
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“Kok so heavy again rain?” I muttered as I stepped out the library door and found the rain that was hardened even though I was sure that the rain had stopped and left a drizzle.
“You'll look ridiculous walking to the stop with your little umbrella, Alia.” My welcome while attaching my sling bag while the loan book from Mr. Wardi I hold in front of the chest. Smiling strangely at the thought that I would definitely be soaked if I would break through the rain with my little blue umbrella and these two new books in my hand would surely suffer a miserable fate. “Yes, wait until it subsides then.”
I had just taken a step forward from my position when my gaze was fixed on a young man sitting on a wooden bench right beside the umbrella locker. A young man in a short-sleeved shirt of light brown color, deep black hair that was long to touch the ears, and a pair of glasses that were not too thick. A young man I had seen and seemed oblivious to my presence.
“Turn turns out it was you. I think I saw it wrong.” He said as he moved and stood facing me.
No, he wasn't unaware of my presence, but I thought this guy was making sure that the person he saw was me.
“E.A.” my murmur that sounds more like a slow hiss.
E.A.
This guy's. The man who had been making me upset for several months, as well as the man who made me curious at this moment stood two steps ahead of me with a thin smile that looked sincere. It was so sincere that I was sure that no one could resist such a smile.
Almost a full minute no sound filled the gap between us except the sound of rain still loud and the sound of banyan leaves rubbing every time the wind blew.
“E.A, I don't have any idea to think about the extension of your name.” mulaiku after getting my consciousness back and successfully smoothed a thin smile. “But I remember that we did meet. No, I mean I've seen each other.”
Yes, I already remember it when I was on my way to Jakarta in February. I remember seeing E. A. in the parking lot of the gameloft office when I accompanied Jendra to an interview invitation. Yep, yeah, I was bored to death waiting for Jendra suddenly like a person who had just been stung by a bee when unconsciously my gaze met the gaze of a young man wearing a brown shirt and new glasses just get out of his car.
I did remember about E. A. two months ago, it was just that the problems I was facing and the busyness I was running made me easily forget about E. A.
“Sorry has not had time to tell you.” connect me while taking a deep breath and exhaling back slowly. Like there was a sense of relief that surrounded me when I found the smile on E. A.'s face expanding again. It was like I had just solved a complicated puzzle that the teacher had given me as homework when I managed to remember when and where I had seen E. A.
“E.A stands for Evan Adiatma. And thank you for remembering our meeting, Alia Pangesti.”
Two seconds I frowned as I realized E.A, who had just introduced her real name, also knew my name.
“Sorry because I acted like a stalker by asking mom Lovely about you.” she continued as if she understood what I was thinking and made me laugh.
“Where are you?” chase after E. A. when I just grabbed my umbrella and was about to open it. It made me undo my intentions and raise my face to find E. A.'s sharp-looking, shady gaze behind his glasses.
“I'll either get soaked or not make it to the stop later, but I think it'll be raining until nightfall, and the last bus will be over in half an hour.” answered me with a tone that I made as calm as possible despite the fact that my heart skipped a beat once when my gaze with the gaze of E.A met for a few seconds. Geez, I don't know how many times this guy's gaze has made me stray like this.
“A minute. Can we stay here any minute?”
And it was the first time I had ever agreed to a request from a man I only met a few minutes ago.
“Call Alia. It feels very strange if we already know each other's names but like reluctant to mention it.” And I'm not reluctant to mention E. A.'s real name, but I'm very nervous despite just thinking about Evan Adiatma's name. What a charismatic name.
“Alia. And you can also start calling me Evan, and not E.A.”
A few minutes back there was no sound between us and let the sound of rain that began to subside fill the gap between us. I wasn't out of chatter, just that I was enjoying the silence created between me and Evan even though the man was now no more than two hands away from me. I enjoyed the silence between us as if I was really enjoying the sound of rain outside the building, the friction of the banyan leaves, and the sighs of Evan's breath that were occasionally heard by me.
“Nearly two months since I last saw you in this place.” I turned my head as Evan opened his voice and turned towards me the next two seconds. “I thought you did start stopping coming.”
If I may admit it, this is the first time I have not turned my gaze when I have clashed with a man I have never known before. But Evan with a gentle gaze from his pair of almond eyes hidden behind the glasses made me unable to look away.
“You come here every day?”
“Not every day.” Like there's a long story the man wants to tell me every breath of his. “Only, every time I come to this place, someone I wish I could meet is you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to apologize for the short message I left to Mr. Wardi a few months ago.”
I blinked slowly before turning my eyes to the book on my lap and took a slow breath.
“You are sorry to have left that short message to Mr Wardi to give me?”
“No. But I'm sorry for confusing you.” And indeed Evan said it in a sorry tone as if he had made a huge mistake towards me. “Sorry. I should have greeted you properly. But..”
“But my courage was not that much at that time.” continued Evan who probably realized that I was still waiting for him to finish the sentence.
“Thank you.”
Evan did not ask what ‘thank you’ said, only I realized that the man asked through the look in his eyes that he gave me.
“Thank you for waiting for me for two months to explain everything, mas Evan.” Really, Evan looks funny when he frowns like that to make me laugh. “It feels weird that I just called you with ‘Evan’ while I'm sure - no matter how old you are - but you must be older than me.”
“I am not a sensitive person when talking about age, and yes, I am also sure that you must be younger than me. I'm guessing you're three or four years younger than me, Al.”
“Twenty-two by twenty-three.”
“Just as I expected. And I'm thirty or less four, if you need to know.”
“Hah?” thirty or less four? You mean he's twenty-nine years and eight months?
“26.”
“Oh,” I unknowingly scratched my head wrapped in a gray headscarf with a misdeed.
“Omong-by the way your home is far from here?”
I gasped like I had just been stung by a bee when I heard Evan's question, and realized that the rain had stopped and left a drizzle. I don't know how long we've been sitting on these wooden benches and chatting until I didn't realize that it's almost half six now and the city bus must have stopped operating.
“Already at 17.25, astagah.” I muttered as I grabbed the umbrella and slipped it into a sling bag. “Sorry, mas, I have to go home before maghrib. And yes, my house is quite far from here.” My greetings in a hurry. I'm sure you won't like it when your daughter comes home until nightfall.
“Kuantar.” I had just stepped down the steps of the terrace of the building when Evan was chasing me and blocking my steps. “Sorry, I mean instead because I kept us here until you left the bus.”
“But,.”
“Later you can sit in the back seat so that your parents think that you are riding an online motorcycle instead of being escorted by a man you just know.” cut Evan who makes me laugh.
“Thank you.”
For the first time in months, I felt fine and felt that the smiles and laughter I made were sincere smiles and laughter. It wasn't the smiles and laughter I made to cover my anger. I don't even really understand how the Evan Adiatma I just met can make me feel comfortable and secure with him. His shady eyes behind his glasses were like something I had just discovered after a long time.
Is this all because of Evan Adiatma? Or am I the one who's heartbroken and needs someone who can make me smile and laugh like Evan? Ah, this story is far from over, and I think it's too early to be sure what I'm really feeling.
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