Bad Feelings
Are You Crazy's

You are like a cooling dew when I feel thirsty, but you are like a spring I cannot drink because you are just a mirage to me. How can this heart betray and quench this thirst alone while he who is there is not necessarily happy with his condition? Can't God allow me to love her again?

###BadFeeling

My eyes blinked many times looking at Nick. "Why not answer?" askinya. My lips were unable to say a word at that moment. I was just shocked and confused as to what reason I should say to answer the question.

"Ah.... You still like Jonathan?" he said with a slightly disappointed face. "Why did you break up?" sahut later. He turned his eyes to the pile of files on his desk, which had been waiting all day to be touched by him, and put his glasses back on.

"Eum... Nick, what you said just now. "I was a little hesitant. I didn't know he would say such words. He is not the type of person who easily says such things, considering he is a young lecturer, handsome, smart and admired by his lecturers and students. He's more serious than the killer lecturer at my faculty. He also never discussed anything else except his reports. But now his words make me ask whether he has kept a taste for me or is this just a mirage for me.

His eyes looked back at me. But then focus back on the file. "You still like Jonathan?" he said flat as usual.

"No, about. "I said a little. I just don't want to disappoint him. He's been too good to me all this time. He was like a friend God sent me to help me forget my own problems.

"Forget over. I'm just testing your feelings and it turns out you still like the kid" he said, writing notes on his files. Wishing I had completely forgotten what he said and I thought it was true, he was just testing me. I just brushed off my curiosity.

"Am I so stupid?" tanyaku plain. It seems like I was stupid to like the boy to this extent, even though there was a good man in front of me but I still ignored him. Why didn't I start a relationship with him? Who knows it worked. But it seems like my door is closed to the others.

"On love there is no such thing as stupid, there is only the freezing of our normal brain nerves that are more concerned with the heart than the sense of sanity" said Nick who made my forehead shrunk to hear the explanation. Maybe it's the language of psychology professors that I find difficult to understand. "Geez, why is your face so funny?" he said when he found my face that was still thinking about his words just now. He smiled to see me.

"Law... This is because you are saying a sentence that I find difficult to understand. I'm a child of Library Science and you say the language of Psychology. Although I have read a little about your lessons, but still I never intend to learn and understand them. So please..."

"Excuse me" a voice stopped me. We both turned to the door and found the figure of the person who had just interrupted our conversation and the unexpected Jonathan standing in the doorway. Our eyes had met for some reason I could not look at him anymore and chose to refocus on my report files.

"Can I come in, Nick?" he said ask permission. Nick let it go and he walked in to Nick's desk, but I saw him slow down his footsteps as he passed my desk. My God, why is my heart beating so erratically like this. But my head remains down even though now my brain is no longer able to focus on making reports because of his arrival.

"Sorry Mr. Nick, some days I can't attend lectures. There's something I need to get done and I came here to ask you about last week's exam. I intend to do a follow-up exam, if you allow it" he explained.

"alright. You can take my course exam on one condition. Help me finish my month-end report first. After that I will give you the opportunity to do the next exam" said Nick as usual authoritative.

"Okay, sir" he said obediently.

"Okey, then. You help Rya finish the job and I'll leave you. Because there is a meeting I have to attend. I hope today, you can finish the report" said Nick, who then brought some maps and left us both stunned in disbelief.

Hearing my name is called a heart that has been beating erratically ever since increased craze.

I think Nick pranks me now, he knows how I feel right now but he's making me live with Jonathan together now. God, what am I supposed to do, I'm not ready to face him for now. This heart beat faster as a pair of footsteps walked closer to my desk.

"Eum... What am I supposed to do?" his question that instantly made my brain dead-end because of nervousness.

"ee.... Just do the report on Nick's desk, I've given him any sign that needs to be repaired after that write the report on his laptop" I told. I couldn't look at her remembering the last words I said to her.

*back*flash*

As I crouched down in front of his house and cried, Jojo opened the door and walked up to me. I heard a screaming voice from inside her house, I think her mother was very angry because she screamed so loud. "Better we go from here, here no one understands our love" he said waking up my body. Then holding my hand took me away and I just followed wherever he wanted.

He took me on his bike and left the house, after our meeting with Jojo's family ended in a mess. Before long he stopped his bike in front of the ice cream cafe. He knows how to calm emotions. Although he actually did not like sweet foods, but this time he ordered a large bowl of ice cream with chocolate toppings and some fresh fruits.

"Eat, I'm sorry for everything. I shouldn't have taken brother there earlier" he said those words while bowing his head staring at the empty table before him. I saw the handprints on his left cheek. I haven't cried since I got on the road to this place. Somehow my tears stopped after Jojo's hand held tightly to my hand.

I stretched out my hand to touch her cheek but she turned her face away and caught my fingers. "It's nothing. I will continue to maintain this relationship. Even if they are against it" he told me. There was sadness in every word. I saw her hand clutching my fingers.

"Indirect Kiss" said Jojo who immediately made me put away my hand and detached from his grasp. "Yeah... This brother, why? Not that we have also done it even we have kissed. "I immediately closed his mouth with my palm. Somehow I was embarrassed when Jojo spoke the truth in front of a lot of people.

"You are yes, don't say it" my cheeks immediately shamed.

"Then we'll do it" My nose was pinched with her index finger and smiled. Instantly my palm that had just slipped from Jojo's lips turned to his wide forehead until it sounded 'plaaaakkk'

"You're this..." Jojo started smiling again. I liked her smile, but somehow seeing her smile made me sad. "Jo, I think we should split up"

"What does brother mean?"

"Before I decided to date you I promised myself. If one day I like someone else, even if a lot of problems come up, I will try my hardest and my energy will not let him go, except when I have become a burden in his life. So I guess right now I'm a burden on your life, so I choose to leave you" finally those words slide free from my lips.

"Sister likes me, right?"

"Eum." I nodded my head slowly.

"Why did my brother let me go? Who said you were a burden to me? Brother has never once been a burden to me brother is my encouragement, my future, why do you think brother is a burden to me?" revealed. Some of the cafe visitors looked towards us because of Jojo's voice tone that began to rise.

"But now you're a burden to me. So please, let me go" unknowingly, a drop of my tears slid successfully, no barrier. Jojo looked at me. "Thank you for the wonderful days you gave me and sorry to disappoint you. I'm leaving" I've chosen to get out of that place rather than having to look at Jojo's face, which will change what I want now.

"Am I really just a burden to you?" tanyakanya. From his voice he sounded really sad and down.

"Eum... You're a burden to me and I can't bear it anymore" I said without turning my face towards him and leaving. I just don't want to make him hostile to his parents even though on the other hand I don't want to part with him either. I don't know why I said those words. Did I hurt him? It's better I guess, so it's easier to forget me.

*flash back off*

I haven't been focused on my job right now, and my brain came up with a sentence to ask about what he's been doing for the past few days not attending college. But my lips were unable to speak, for I may have felt too sinful for my previous actions.

"Aren't you okay?" jojo's question began the conversation after half an hour passed without a sound, just seconds of the clock and the thump of Jojo's fingers pressing on Nick's laptop keybord.

My eyes blinked, turning my eyes to look at him. The eyes I missed were staring at me. Oh, my God, what do I do now. "Eum... And vou? You okay?" my many.

He smiled knot. "I'm not good. How am I gonna be okay if I can't see my brother every day?" from the tone of his speech implied pain.

"Jo.." call me shrewd. I just don't want him to go back to remembering the past, even though now I'm still stuck in the past with his memories.

"Yes I know" he said, looking down and typing a report for Nick.

Sorry if I let you down, I said in my heart. Not feeling the tear flowed, I quickly pushed aside and removed his tracks. "If you're done, you can leave him. Let me do the rest" I said as I tidied up some of the files that I finally finished also working on. I tidied up my report files, then put them on Nick's desk and watched what Jonathan was doing. Is what he did right or not?

"What if we elope?" stare at it while staring at me.

My eyes are rounded. "What?" I couldn't believe the words that had just slid free from Jonathan's mouth.

"I'm not sure I can keep going like this. I can go back to my world before I know my brother, but I'm not sure what kind of trouble I'm going to have. So, will you elope with me" she said, looking so frustrated with the reality of her life.

"You crazy?" I screamed for a moment at Jonathan's invitation.

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