Bad Feelings
Picnicking

I wanted this relationship to last a long time, but I was not able to hurt the heart of the person I respect and love the most. I don't want to be selfish, I can't.

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"You guys dating?" at once my lips were unable to answer that question. How not? My mother and sister heard our conversation just now. My eyes were round wide hearing the question. Moreover, the position of my hand that is struggling to pull Jojo's arm. You could say we were caught. Oh my God, what am I supposed to do?

"Eum.that's.." Like hail, my lips froze. How do I explain this not-so-serious relationship.

Mom told me to go home and explain what really happened. I know that one day this relationship will break down. Jojo's hand, gave me the courage to tell the truth.

The three of us gathered in the living room. There is only seriousness in our faces. “So, do you want to explain Rya?“ said Mom started the trial this time.

Jonathan precedes me to talk. “Sorry mom, meaning aunt. I love aunt's son. If allowed, may we..”.

I cut Jojo's words. “Bu, I'm sorry. Shouldn't be doing this. I know, I can't play around anymore about relationships. But for now, we both are indeed in a relationship” explained.

“Rya, I think you know what's right what's wrong and for this time, I'm very disappointed with you. You must know this relationship is wrong, why do you still break it?“ the look on the face of this middle-aged woman who had given birth to me turned into this clover. It's the second time I've seen mom's expression like this, the first time I'm gone.

“I know. I'm sorry mom. I will solve this problem myself” I said. Jonathan looked at me holding me accountable. But I didn't look at her until she disappeared into the room.

“Kak Rya.. “ call him.

“I knew this would happen sooner or later. Although I didn't expect it to be this fast, I looked jojo in the eye before I said what I had to say. “You understand right, our relationship should not happen”

Jojo intends to reply to my words, but I first continue my words. “I know, your love is sincere. People will not accept this relationship. I can't possibly let my mom down so we..”.

Jonathan cut me off. “No. I know what my sister will say. I can't and I don't want to. I will fight for this relationship. I'll try to ask permission. Whether it's my sister's mother or my parents. It's just, I need a brother to give me support. If big brother is beside me I will never be afraid of anything”.

“Why don't you just give up? You better like someone else, not me” said I who was not able to think logically. I just don't want to make mom moody like she just showed me.

“Kak, please don't give up. I am still young. But I am still a man, I will be responsible for all my choices. I'll be in charge of brother if we get married someday. I will work hard for my family. I cannot run away from my responsibilities” I said.

My eyes started to glaze over. On the other hand I want to believe his words but on the other hand I don't want to hurt the people I respect and love the most. “Jo, this will not be possible. We better just give up”.

“If sister says this. I didn't have the courage to fight for our relationship. So please sister Rya don't give up on our relationship. I'll find a way to get our relationship done” he said.

I put a smile on her and she returned my smile. He clasped my fingers tightly while stroking my hair. “Trust me, I will strive to get the blessing” he said.

"Who will give you blessing? I will not give you my blessing. Rya, send the child home or the mother who kicked him away" said the cold mother. I knew this time I would be mad at you.

My eyes were round to see my mother coming. "Rya tau" I said. I stood up from my seat. Pulling Jonathan's arm, asking him to come out. "Go home first, today it is not possible to make the mother's thinking change quickly. The decision she has now is the one that my mother thinks is right. Wait until things get better just think of a way"

"Alright, I'm home" Jonathan grabbed my arm towards my finger. A little longer, as he was not willing to part for now.

"Go home, be careful on the road" I said.

After Jonathan's return. Mom took me to my room and asked me to speak with four eyes.

"I'm sorry if you said this. I know, he's the first guy you've introduced to me. But, surely you know your age is quite different. So other people's views will be strange, mothers just don't want others to look down on their children. For that, you better split up. Although it may hurt for you, it is better to be painful at the beginning than later until you have a family" explained the mother who is very loving and worried about me.

I didn't feel my tears flowing and couldn't hold them back anymore. Oh, my God, I'm crying. I'm weak. Stupid, I liked him so much that I couldn't let him go. God, can't I be with him? Mom hugged me tightly and I cried. Because this is what I have to accept, breaking the rules of liking younger men, which is a disgrace to most people.

After crying, I went back to my room. Think about what mom said that was true.

Bending his day on campus, as usual Jonathan picked me up. "You got a test?“ ask me when we're on our way to campus.

"No, what's up?“ tanyakanya.

"Let's have a picnic" take me.

My magic words instantly made Jojo stop the bike. Fortunately the streets were empty. Otherwise we would have been scolded by other riders.

He turned his head on me. "Serious brother"

"Eum... We have a picnic today as much as tomorrow just come home" I said. I don't know why I want to take a vacation away from my routine. "I'll take my day off. How?“ many enthusiast.

Seeing me enthusiastic, made him enthusiastic. "Serious brother?“ tanyanya passion.

I nodded my head. He approved my proposal. We finally decided to take a vacation. Jonathan took me to the beach and rented us a place to spend the night.

"Let's take a walk, he said here there is a waterfall" I asked enthusiastically.

Jonathan followed my words. We both enjoyed time. Walk through mangrove forests, down the depths of the forest to find hidden waterfalls. After an hour of walking, we finally found the hidden waterfall.

"Well.beautiful"

"Beautiful you are" said Jojo who immediately made me meet.

"Mombal" my timpal.

"Really, big sister is pretty today" she said as she touched my chin directing me to look at her.

Our two eyes met, speaking through our gazes. When our distance was just a little. My eyes blinked. "Come home, it's noon. I'm hungry" I said, turning my eyes away.

Jojo smile. He must have understood that I was wrong. "Let's eat" he clasped my fingers tightly. Luckily I was loved by this man. God, can't you just let me be with this guy next to me forever? Can we live together?

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