Bad Feelings

Bad Feelings
Disconnecting


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This farewell, tears in my eyes


Maybe just miss, in my heart


Just one word, a strand of soul


Far from heart, I honestly love


Should I, let go of you


Away from me


Maybe late, pain felt


Splitting up is not the end of everything


Despite the dilemma, the heart is empty


Love is everything


My heart is tormented, when you are gone


Feeling lost, just want you


Just one love, just you


Far from the heart


I don't want to split up


Song: This breakup (Melly G.) ost. What's up with love 2


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After that night, I chose to go home alone and leave it and here I am with my stupidity. We cried after deciding to break our relationship.


This morning I was so lazy to get out of bed, after a day of spending time in the room and crying, my body was completely limp. Especially yesterday I only had breakfast. Although the body does not want but what is the power of obligation must be implemented especially considering that the course this morning is worth 3 CREDITS. My feet went down the bed and started walking towards the bathroom. I stared at myself in front of the mirror, my reflection. My eyes were already swollen to almost the size of a chicken egg, my hair was disheveled and my lips looked pale. I look as horrible as a living corpse.


"Right, forget Rya. She shouldn't be in your life" I told myself before I took a shower and prepared to go to college. When I opened my door, Eva was already standing there carrying a tray of sandwiches and a glass of orange juice. Looking at me with a surprised face. I smiled at him, "there's a tumben of concern"


"Ish, I don't want to. But because I'm good again, eat" he said to thrust me into the tray and inevitably I accepted it. The giver then went into his room. I gulped the orange juice from the glass and then bit and chewed on the sandwich while going down the stairs. When my drink was half-living, I left the tray on the dinner table and took my sandwich to campus. I chose to ride my own bike today, because I don't want to take the bus with my condition like this. I don't want to look so pathetic and be a spectacle to so many people. I will think positively and smile today, even though I am unable to hide my swollen eyes.


Upon arrival at the campus I immediately looked for my class and sat on an empty bench with a strategic place. Not so front or back just close to the AC and exit. I took out my binder and my ballpoint pen. Even though the class has not started yet, there is no harm in preparing yourself? My phone suddenly shook. From yesterday I left it in the bag, it turned out that there were a lot of missed calls and a few chats and the most from Jojo. I'm opening his WA.


"Sister wasn't serious about what you said, was he?"


"Kak Rya reply dong"


"I don't want to end up like this"


"If you want, I'll also ask my parents for permission to date you"


"Kak Rya answer my phone or at least read my message"


"Sister Rya, brother where?“


“Where is sister today? Why not go to campus”


“Sister still angry? I'm sorry”


“No reply to my message and pick up my phone. I miss brother”


“Sister Rya, I miss you. I'll wait for you tomorrow morning at the college. We need to talk"


It was some chat he sent and the last chat that came in this morning went off. "I want to talk now, brother where?"


I would love to reply to her message. But my fingers were unable to type a sentence. I just don't want to make him expect me more or I don't want myself to really fall into the abyss with him. I want to crawl back up to the surface, where I belong. In the palace with the door that returned disappeared behind the thickets. I ignored the chat and replied to the chat from my best friend and some of my other friends. But a hand stopped my actions. My head looked up to see the owner of the hand that was none other than Jonathan.


"Sister read my message but didn't reply to it and someone else's message, sister replied?" he looks so upset. "Now come with me. We need to talk" he took me off my desk.


"There's nothing to talk about anymore, it's all clear" I pulled my arm and stopped her from taking me out of class.


"Son does not double? I don't want to and I don't accept it?" yells.


"Whatever" I said coldly.


"I want to know how your real brother feels. Didn't Rya's sister ever like me in the slightest?" it was his asking that made me silence a thousand languages. Some of my classmates filled the class. "Jawab brother? If you don't answer, I'll find out the answer myself" she pulled me out of class. But I pulled him in the opposite direction.


"No need, I'll answer now. I never once did." God damn it, Jojo kissed me in class. Instantly I heard the boisterous sound of cheers. I pushed her body to let me go, her kisses even more demanding. I bit her lip so she stopped the action. He complained. I saw his lips bleeding. Tau taste. "I told you we broke up so we better break up and again you're doing something that shames me" I said.


Jonathan blinked his eyes in awareness of the mistake he had made. He exclaimed, "but didn't you say you would wait for me until I got tired of myself and let go of you? So now, I don't want to..."


"What's this about? Sit down quickly" my lecturer came. I want to go back to where I was and Jojo followed me.


I turned my head towards him as if asking, What are you here for? As if he understood he said. "I'll accompany your sister to college. You have to take responsibility for yesterday's events. I'm almost half-dead crazy. Brother's eyes.." I turned my face away from him. "What's wrong with my eyes? Did you cry yesterday?"


"Why are you crying?" I distracted myself and slightly closed my eyes with one hand propping up my cheek.


"Then? Why are my eyes so swollen?" her probing question whispered towards me.


"Stop your chatter, I have to go to college" I said ketus and chose to ignore the focus on the course that is now being explained by the lecturer.


Finally Jojo chose to sit quietly letting me concentrate on my lecture this morning. My brain cannot think clearly now. Jojo kissed me just now in front of my friends how is this not embarrassing? Now I have to concentrate on today's lecture? Where can? Moreover, facing the problems that will come later, there will certainly be many strange whispers and gossip that will begin to spread.


Do I need to move to college? But it will cost a lot. And now, I don't have much money. What am I supposed to do with this boy until he gives up on his own? It's too hard for me to avoid on my own. Can't someone help me get this boy off me?


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###BadFeeling