Bad Feelings
Vacation

It was noon when we walked to find a place to eat. We went to the nearest market there. There are many sellers hawking seafood even fish that are still raw. This place is quite crowded with many visitors on this beach, because of the famous this place. Jonathan didn't let our hands slip. He said he didn't want to lose myself in this market crowd. Oh, my God, this kid's a bitch, but it's pretty romantic.

“What do you want to eat?“ tanyakanya.

“As long as it's not shrimp or crab I can eat it. What do you want to eat yourself?“ I looked at him inquisitively. I was just wondering what exactly her favorite food was, because she never said what food she liked. He always followed the food I ordered and he'll look like he's enjoying it.

“Taste big brother” he looked me in the eye quite deeply.

The answer struck me, for I never thought I would get such an answer. But then my eyes blinked because I realized I was just stunned by Jonathan's words. “Alright, we buy something. Later I will cook food for you” said I.

He looked at me with a happy smile. “Alright, let's shop” he said. He attracted me and was so excited when we went shopping. He chooses what he likes and buys it. I'm sure he's spending money on all this. How wasteful he was with me. Just because he wanted to make me happy, he ignored anything. Money included. Though I also wanted to pay for it, he instead told me to save for our future later.

Finished our shopping back to the cottage we booked. “Wait here” the message. Jonathan went for a second somewhere, I don't know. I chose to prepare the ingredients for the kumasak. I took out all the ingredients and washed them with running water before I used them.

Being too focused, I was unaware of the arrival of someone who was now walking behind me. That someone suddenly hugged me instantly made me squeal in surprise. “My wife” said she was peeping at my cheek. I clearly know who the perpetrator is. Jonathan.

“Let go, don't bother me. It's too hot if you hug me like this” get me rid of her hand.

Jonathan put his arm away. “Wear this apron first, so that sister's clothes are not dirty” she handed the apron in front of me. I'm breathing down, because I don't think he's going to make it this far. When I want to receive it. Jojo even put an apron on me. It felt like this heart was pounding fast enough because of our close distance when he put the apron on my neck. He smiled and twisted my body to help me tie it. “Completed. Quickly cooking. I'm so hungry” he said patting both my shoulders then pushing him back in front of the stove.

I finished my work, cooked food for lunch. After a few minutes, my cooking was finally done. I put my food on the table and took Jonathan to lunch together.

“Feel first from my wife” he said while smiling happily at the cuisine on the table. Not many, but enough for us to eat together.

“Try” said I let her taste my cooking for her.

Jonathan tried my cooking, he seemed to like it so much because ever since he chewed every meal he tried, he would say, "it's amazing, it's delicious"

I smiled in response. Thank goodness she likes it. But on the other side of the heart, it is sad. I pushed aside this bad feeling and chose to enjoy the little happiness it created for now.

After eating, Jonathan took me on the boat he rented. “Wah, this is very beautiful” I said when Jojo stopped the boat in the middle of the sea.

The clear, blue expanse of sea water is separated by a thin line that does not manifest from the bright blue horizon. Very pretty color.

Jonathan smiled and hugged me from behind. Makes me a little misbehaving. “If we get married later, we honeymoon to Maldives island. I'll love the view there. Because the scenery there is more beautiful than this place” he said.

“Really? Here it's so beautiful“ said I can't believe because I never know how the shape of the Maldives island.

Jonathan looked at both my beads. “Then from that, brother marry me. I will try to make my brother smile. Even if one day you are sad because of something, I will try hard to make you smile again. That is why we should never give up on our relationship. I really hope to get married with big brother”

Hearing her words made these tears unstoppable. This is the first time someone has made an appointment with me. The first time someone wanted me to be happy and wanted me to be his wife. For the first time ever a man dared to give his life for me.

I pulled his collar. Let me do what my heart wants for now. Loving the man in front of me regardless of the thoughts or opinions of others. Before I do anything I might regret later.

I kissed her so much in love. Let me do this before I regret it later. He also returned my kiss. A little longer than usual. My face immediately turned red as Jonathan whispered to me. “The mouthwash is so sweet” I hit her shoulder slowly. He even laughed happily. Oh God, let me enjoy this time even longer.

After sailing by boat we returned to the beach. Jonathan bought me clothes to change, because our clothes were wet, we had a short swim. At night Jonathan visited my room. “Come, to the night market. There's a bonfire party tonight, want to follow?“

“Baik”

“I wait outside” his message before leaving me.

I shook my head and then got ready to go. Put some polish on my face. When I was ready I went out to see Jonathan.

It turns out our clothes are clothes for couples. “Kakak, gorgeous” compliments.

I blushed because of his words. “Can only. Let's go” I went first but Jonathan pulled my arm, my head turned to him. “What's up?“ my eyebrows go up.

We both walked side by side towards the nearest night market from the cottage we were staying at. I saw small lights dotting the small road to the night market. After walking for five minutes finally the crowd of small stalls and a few people were seen. The atmosphere is quite crowded and very bright because many lanterns and lights decorate the trees" around the market. Colorful lanterns enliven the market tonight.

"Eum... This is for you" someone suddenly gave flowers to Jonathan. More precisely a young girl of her age.

Our hands were instantly released by me. Surprised by the girl's courage. Jonathan looked confused as I suddenly took my hand off him, then his gaze turned to look at the girl. He smiles. "You gave me flowers? You like me?“ ask Jonathan.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Do you know who's next to me?“ tanyakanya.

The girl looked at me. "What he is, you don't call him brother. He's your brother, right?“ the girl seemed to have been watching the two of us for a long time, until she knew Jonathan's call for me.

"He's my girlfriend and soon I'll be my wife" she explained. Hearing Jonathan's words, the flower that the girl was carrying fell down and the beautiful, tall and white girl ran away.

"Come" Jonathan took my hand again.

I pulled my arm in different directions from him and made Jonathan scrunch his forehead. "Why did you reject a girl as beautiful as her just now? I'm sure if you're together, you'll look better than you walk with me“

" What is this brother talking about? Do you know why I like you?“ I shook my head not knowing. "I don't know why myself" he smiled and made my cheeks bulge. "But what I know. When I'm with my sister, I can laugh and be happy. When I wasn't with my sister, my heart missed my sister so much that it felt like I was going to die. So please, don't think about parting ways. I could die later"

My heart feels happy but there is also the pain of hearing his words. Tears that began to melt. I turned my gaze towards the lantern seller. "Well, someone's selling lanterns, let's buy them and make hope" I asked.

We bought a lantern writing down our hopes then flew it into the sky. Our heads both looked up at the flying of our lanterns. After quite a distance, we smiled at each other. "What's your request?“

“For brother to be happy forever" he said. "Self?“

“May you be happy even if you are not with me one day" I replied.

"I told you I was happy with my sister" he said.

"It's up to you" said my timpal who then went looking for something interesting again in that market.

Jonathan chased and called my name but I just ignored him. Suddenly my hand was pulled away making me look. Jonathan did. He adjusted his breath that was wheezing because he just ran. After his breathing returned to normal. He knelt down in front of me, he did it in the middle of the night market. My eyes immediately puffed up and my head turned right and left looking at the people seeing Jonathan's unnatural behavior happening.

"What are you doing, stand up right now" I asked Jonathan.

Jonathan shook his head, one of his hands reached into his pants pocket and pulled something out of it. A small box, when he opened it, contained a ring. "Sister marry me?“ he threw a small box at me.

This should be what I want, but I can't say what he's saying for now and it makes me have a reason to do what I've planned.

"Why are you doing this, it's embarrassing? Look, a lot of people are watching us, quickly stand up" I cried.

"No, before my brother answered yes" Jonathan's behavior caught the attention of some people there.

"As far as you go" I flicked my feet away leaving Jonathan who insisted on still kneeling before me.

"Sister, wait a minute" Jojo yelled, he ran after me.

"I told you not to do something as embarrassing as before, you embarrassed me in front of a lot of people. I told you I wasn't ready to get married, but you cooked me answer your question. So we better break up" I said.

"Sister, don't joke, I just want our relationship to be more serious" he managed to stop my steps.

"We haven't got the blessing, you're thinking about getting married. You really... Forgetit. I can't continue this relationship. This relationship we can't continue, you're so selfish" I snapped my hand to get away from it.

Sorry, Jo. I don't want anyone else to talk about our relationship later, nor do I want to hurt my mother. Maybe this is the best thing for us. I wish you could forget me. Thank you for a wonderful holiday today. My tears are unstoppable no more. Maybe this is the best.

####BadFeeling