A Tattered Heart
chapter 6's

Toto baranjak from her sitting, and sitting by my side caressed my hair lovingly,,,,,,, and sitting by my side stroked my hair lovingly,,,,,

"what's wrong why I cry, is there something in your heart and mind,,, is there,,,

you don't usually cry Tampa because ', speak don't just be quiet in the sad ',, I'm ready to hear and help your difficulties ,,,????",

I tried to sit Toto helping me ,, made my position as nice as possible ,,,

"i'm sad because I feel like people mean nothing

since a month ago I was sick no one came to see me, let alone encourage me ,,,???

besides you and the child ,,,

no one even visited the neighbors ???

it's really torturing my mind ,,,??",

I saw Toto take a deep breath as his face was thinking,,,,

I continue my words

"and I feel so ashamed every day to bother you from bathing to washing my shit, ', what should I do to you as a token of gratitude so that I am not ashamed and feel guilty for you ,,???",

Toto hugged me and leaned my head on her chest affectionately

"there's a shame there's something you have to do for me, I ask you to be the best wife and never get tired of loving me and our children , , that's what makes me happy ,,,,just so you know I really love you anytime,,,, I sincerely love you ,,,,,,,???"

,then he kissed me affectionately ,,,,,,,

there was a taste that rippled in my heart ,,,,,,,

and that feeling now I let 'em, I don't hold it anymore I want to,,,,

open up all my heart even if there's still something hard to open I'll keep trying

opening her ,,,,,,,

"so if you're cured, you can't tell me to bobo in the room

another kid if I sleep ,

I want to like the end of this I always accompany in every opportunity ,,,,,,

I want to hug my mom every time I sleep ,,,,???",

my husband said so softly,,,,,, that,,,,,

but like a whip ,,,,,, a ,,,,,,

I feel judged, ashamed and guilty mixed into one ,,,,,

like her my husband noticed the change in my face ,,, with a naughty smile he then continued

"don't feel guilty so I feel that I also know actually mama also already want me to hug klo bobo proof when mama is sick every time I hug mama can sleep soundly ,,,,,,,,, proof ,,,,,,,no more pain,,,,,,, hayooo ngaku ,,,,,,,,,

,I know what, too,???,"

while pretending to throw his face ,,,,,,,,,

I was shocked red on my face

it feels really hot on both cheeks ,,,,,,

between the shame and the sprain so one until I want to stand up I forget my legs are still bleeding because just finished changing bandages ,,,,,,,

Toto was immediately shocked that he could hold on so I sat down again ,,,,,,

"mama why the hell????just replaced his bandage already want more pain is good ,,????

parents want his spit healed, cepet way , let us can cepet intimate ,???,"

while his eyes glanced at me spoiled, genit, and mischievous,,,

makes me even more embarrassed ,,,,,,,,,,

oh Allah is outrageous to these men

don't know if I'm shy ,,,,,,,,,,

from earlier the Mulu mojokin ,,,,,,,,,

,great happiness to see people already rich in boiled shrimp ,,,,,,,,,,

with half a grunt I answered his naughty joke

"have you said that, why is that saying,,,, is, is it bored, did I take care of you ,,,???from earlier the Mulu mojokin ,, how nice!!!??,,,"

I pura menghardik

"hem is not his mojok is delicious let alone in the corner,, I'm also ready to klo in the same corner mama ,,,???,"

o Allah why this is wrong people eat what, surely this is the effect of bobo itself ,,,,,

I'm so wrong I pinched his pampered thighs don't hurt anyway but basic Alay he screamed flirtatiously that's ,,,,,,,,

make people more deg deg just a ,,,,,,,

"want to sleep ah males so full of adult chat ,,,,,"

,

I immediately put on a sleeping position, Toto instead laughed and instead went up to bed directly hugging me,,,,, with a look full of affection he looked at my face ,,,,,,, with ,,,,,,

there's a swish in my heart I don't know what this is,,,,,, feeling, is ,,,,,,

I myself was busy calming her down ,,,,

"sad you're beautiful klo angry,, but prettier klo you smile ,,,,

believe me if you are not ready I am still patient how to wait for him , except if you also want to be in the temple, say yes ,,,??? trust me I'll be patient waiting,,,,,,,",

while saying that like two

kissing my forehead and cheeks,,,,, I don't know if I should be sad or happy or overwhelmed by all the raging feelings in my chest and thoughts ,,,,

but the basic I also want to joke him so I pretend to challenge him I'm sure surely he might not dare to,,,,,,,,,,,, he said ,,,,,,,,,

"yes now I am ready, I am ready,,,,, you are not ready , but my feet are not so much pain ,,,,,,?",

I'm talking as if I'm sure I'm winning,,,, but you think I'm going to keep quiet you're pojokin,,,,,,, you must be shocked for sure ,,,,,,,,,,, you know, you're going to be ,,,,,,,I didn't want to see the change in his face because it quickly turned my face towards the wall,,,,,

sounding him go out of the room I smiled my own smile ,,,,,,,,

well I win he loses ,,,,,, the evidence goes straight ,,,,,,,,

therefore, the heart is challenged so immediately run away ,,,,,,,

I'm happy to celebrate my victory this time I smile at my own smile ,,,,,,,

I was shocked when the room lights were turned off and I was totally wrong guessed ,,,,

I'm the loser ,,,, ,,,,, I ,,,, ,,,,,

Toto is a super husband,,,, a ,,,,

he's proved he's very ready,,,,, he's,,,,

,and I have to admit it's,,,,,, and I have to admit it ,,,,,,,

Today I learned to walk ,,,,,,,

my feet can step even if they are two or three steps and keep stopping,,,,,,,,, or ,,,,,,,,

my husband always accompanied me to learn to walk ,,

every step I sit down and my feet elus elus because sick and rich there are crawling all over my feet,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

about 3 months I started to recover ,,,,,,, Toto seneng ,,,,, every day always come home to look at me in the canteen and this makes me quickly experience recovery,,,,,,, this is,,,,,,

for almost 3_4 months I have been able to walk thank God all this thanks to the attention and spirit of my little family ,,,,,,,,

those who have always supported me and encouraged me ,,,,

and make me feel guilty if I can't walk immediately ,,,,,,,

Alhamdulillah now my situation is really ready from birth and mind ,,,,,, I can also sell again , and begin to improve the increasingly thinning finances ,,,,, and ,,,,

because I've been spending a lot of money on sick ',,,,,,,, uh ,,,,,,,,

everything went as usual but the cafeteria so as if still troubled ,,,,,,,

now the state of my canteen cannot be expected ,

her income didn't match my expectations ,,,,,,,

but I still have to be grateful at least I've started to walk like I used to ,,,,,

but something stuck in my heart,,,,, there's a little thorn tucked in between these hearts,,,,,, there's ,,,,,,

this is my husband's problem,,,,,, this is ,,,,,,

lately this has started to change since my husband became involved as a pre-service committee for all the appointments of state employees ,,,,,,,

participants from various circles , guru , doctor, camat ,Pemda ,lurah ,,,,,, all related to PNS is there ,,,,,,,

there's a feeling of dislike ,,,,,

but the more I shut up,,,,,, the more ,,,,,,

just I've been asking a little since he was on the committee why it's so irritable ,,,,,

there's something you don't like ',,,,, ''em ,,,,

and provoke his anger ,,,,,,

and yet we're still newlyweds on her count of,,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,,

gradually the relationship that used to be so happy now turned tense ,,,,,,,

there are often fights and sometimes physical clashes ,,,,, sometimes ,,,,,,

although sometimes the problem is just trivial ,,,,,,,,,

I myself am less able to understand why all of this could happen ,,,,,,,

I once thought maybe this was the trigger because of the economic factor,,,,, that ,,,,,

well it could be too much money spent to heal my feet ,,,,,,,

it is natural that your debt plus a lot of,,,, and no income is ,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

maybe that's what has made papa turn ,,,,,

or maybe work problems that accumulate and papa's condition become less fit because they have to take care of here and there,,,,,,,

many possibilities occur and can be a trigger for this fight ,,,,,

I'm getting bored,,,,, I'm ,,,,

I started complaining,,,,, I ,,,,

and I started looking for my own happiness ,,,,,,,

lately I've been getting a lot of disappointment with my husband's attitude,,,,, I'm ,,,,,

in every way seen in my eyes Toto had so many flaws his ,,,,

I started to remember Asiung back ,,,,,,,

I began to compare between Toto and Asiung ,,,,,,

I'm starting to miss the time we were together ,,,,,

until I don't feel the meaning of my marriage,,,,,

because I'm not happy it makes me so far away with my kids,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

I'm starting to not care about her ,,,,,,

I was too busy thinking about my own heart

I started to not care about hearing Arum sick when I used to think about the health of my children especially he said it had been two days my son Arum was sick,,,,,,,,,, he said,,,,,,,,,

I'm just being normal,,,,,, I'm ,,,,,,

maybe it's because I'm disappointed in my husband who I think doesn't love me anymore ,,,,,

it affected my affection for his son ,,,,,

I feel like I don't care ,,,,

maybe that's what made my husband even more angry with me,,,,,, maybe,,,,,

but as for the matter of eating and their needs I do not neglect to keep me fulfilled and pay attention only to his attention no more ,,,,,,,,

as I remember it just four days ago I came home with boiled fish to stock the children's meal at home ,,,,,,

at that time I bribed a child with a fish ,,,,,,,

I want Arum to eat really well ,,,

"as Brother????,"

ask me to see him eat rich that seneng,,,

"yes mah,,, mah mah mama's cuisine awakkk really ,,,,",

I smiled,,,,, I ,,,,

and I kept feeding him,,,,,, and,,,,,

finished eating my son's son I told him to study,,,,, but Arum looks silent just look like he's sad ,,,

"you why Arum?!!!",

Arum looked at me like he needed help, and my understanding

"Arum does not want to go to school ma ,, the same evil Arum temen Arum Arum, Arum is often ridiculed Arum house ya ma ,,,,",

whine Arum ,,,

I'm saddened to hear that my son is a little mentally retarded but for a kid who's like my son,,,

my son is more mending just his capture power is less, maybe 2_3 years lower than his actual age ,,,,, maybe ,,,,

like klo is now 6 years old maybe his memory or intelligence like a 4th or 3th year old child,,

,from the way he talks, his way, or his way of thinking ,,,,, his way of thinking ,,,,

sometimes I like to be sad if I have a lot of money or at least my life is well established not like this maybe I am at home to take care of him

maybe klo is taken care of as his mama as before I sold them they can grow up to normal ,,,,

but his other circumstances made me have to leave them to make enough of the needs ,,,,,,,

because klo rely on papa salary obviously will not be enough,,,,

unfortunately, the economy has only just begun to improve ,,,,,,

I was in a disaster,,,,,, I,,,,

cause I have to stay a long time at home automatic cafeteria not me who holds ,,,, , uh ,,,

papa also can not hold the canteen ngawasin also not ,,,,

all of his handed over Ama employees yes this is the result of his direct turnover of freefall ,,,,,,,

income that should be able to continue to grow until a sharp decline ,,,,,,,

now semalem only dapet money 300rb, sometimes 200 rb, many subscriptions on the run reason his cuisine Less delicious ,,,,,,,,,,,,, a, many ,,,,,,,,,

that kind of money is enough for what shopping for a canteen will not be enough,,,,,,,,

especially for the needs of the house and pay employees,,,,

and this continued until I came back, too,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,,

that turnover does not change just in the range of 300 rb or 200rb even below it was also ever ,,, ,,,,,,,,,, even below ,,, ,,,,,,,

how not to be confused ,,,,,,,,

where the money that used to be has been used up for foot treatment ,,,,,,,

the cafeteria that is expected to contribute to the house even so memble like this ,,,,

whereas when I was sick, , , my mind was just I wanted to be able to walk ,,,,

so I can sell again because I think to reverse the money that has been used to make medicine ,,,,,,,

o Allah let alone this ordeal ,,,, the ,,,,

I'm pensively in the canteen patio chair not to think why it could be like this ,,,,

what's wrong is my employee not being honest,,,,????

is it possible that the money in the man's stalk wasn't given to me all ,,,,,,,?????

or is no one buying ,,,,,,,?????

,honestly there is doubt in the heart how not about it in the time before this disaster occurred the income of the cafeteria again good ,,,,,,,,,,,, well ,,,,,,,,

,but I think right now nobody is buying,,,,,, or, you know ,,,,,,,

it's already 10 am yet to be panglaris even though it is open from 6 am,,,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

where now papa is not like yesterday,,,, and always silent as if angry with me ,,,,,, and ,,,,

maybe this happened because of the incident of yesterday ,,,,,,, maybe ,,,,,,,

if it's not wrong two days ago we went home and I don't know if Arum was sick ,,,,,

I rushed papa home 'cause it was night ,,,,

the journey from home to the new land is quite far ,,,,,

I screamed at the papah tell the hunt,,,,, it's night time ,,,,,,, this ,,,,

apparently papa's in Arum's room,,,,, uh ,,,,

she said

"this is how Arum got sick he said ,,,,"

"yes, there is already Inul so that in love bodrek let's go home tonight ,"

papa came out with a sour face at that time as if I didn't care,,,,, yeah,,,,

we go home all the way as I remember you not saying a word ,,,,

and strangely I also do not care it seems lost already our togetherness ,,,,

all there is is is contention and dissension ,,,,

but strangely I don't care ,,,,

like people don't take care of that,,,,,, like ,,,,,

all I know and feel my husband has changed is ,,,,,

I also rarely pray now

anyway, the two of us get into frequent disagreements,,,,, uh,,,,

there is no happiness that I used to feel,,,,,, no ,,,,,,,

all is lost and we are like two strangers to each other ,,,,,,

Not done thinking about the change papa and canteen ,,,,,,,

I arrived calling out in a loud tone

."this mother's mother Arum, Arum Bu Inul called???,,",

I was shocked to quickly grab her phone ,,,,,,,

the sound of Inul panicking,,,,,, made me panic too

"what's wrong with Inul, Arum ,,,??????",

"sorry Mom,,, sorry ,,, this is Arum Bu , so the teacher came home from the teacher said Arum passed out at school , so he was taken home ,,???this is from earlier Arum calling to call mother continue ,, Arum's wealth is severe deh Bu ,, mom comes home is afraid Arum why ,,, Inul is afraid of Bu ,,, mom cepet go home ya ,,,,????",

I was confused and there was a sprain let alone this I thought ,,,,,,

but not thinking about wanting to see the situation I was angry and half refused ,,,,,

I'm in my right mind no, ,,,,,,, I'm ,,,,,,

I don't think my behavior is normal,,,,, like ,,,,,

but I also unconsciously realized ,,,,

toto should be the good religion that understands this klo not me,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

with a little rebuke I said ,,,,,,

"want to go home with what nul?????,,, his father's work,,,,, in the cafeteria there's only mbak ipah Ama's mother,,,,,,,,,, in the canteen ,,,,,,,

yes, wait for you to come home first or,,,,,, wait,,,,,

klo now I can't,,,,,,, I can't,,,,,,

tell Arum to be patient first yes,,,,,,,, you ,,,,,,,

hold on until mama comes in ,,,,,?? ",A,

Inul tetep maksa I made 'home ,,,,,,

I had to be honest with Inul ,,,,, I ,,,,,

"now you don't have money mom just hold money 7000silver nul can bring Arum to the hospital ????",

I hung up on him I was so confused there was a problem there ,,,,

it's going to find money where to try ,,,,,,, where to ,,,,,,,

I tried papa's phone,,,,,,, I, you know ,,,,,,,,

not lifted ,,,,

oh yes I inget malem we abis big storm ,,,,,,,,

this morning she was working no part ,,,,,,,,,

I myself forgot the cause of what must be papa ngamuk and I was pushed to fall when as I remember the problem is only trivial ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, as I recall ,,,,,,,,,,

but it's become enlarged ,,,,,

now I'm calling it natural klo not lift still angry times ,,,,,,

not long after it seemed like there was another phone call, I ran away call me, I guess papa phone back,,,,,, I ,,,

"mother hp her where,,,,,, where,,,,,,

this is Inul nangis nangis he said arum had been unconscious ,,",

I just got shocked instead of maen and started freaking out ,,,,,

I was just worried but not panicking like I am now,,,,,, I'm, like ,,,,,,

oh, my God,,,, that, uh,,,,,

it's really bad ,,,,,,,,

I don't know what to do papa in TLP doesn't pick up anyway 'how this is ,,,,

what do you want to go home with ???is there a car but no driver ??? how is this ,??

like his workshop front employee knows I'm confused again he's my samperin

"what does mom look like she's so confused ,,???",

I told you about his problem

bang Jhon went straight back to the workshop not how long Dateng again nawarin want to anter me back to the column,,,,,,,,, I want to go back to the garage,,,,,,

"My mother Ama aja , let me bring her car fear what is wrong ntar nyesel again I have permission same neng Jamal ,,,,"

hunt me in the car ,,,

I can't wait to see Arum,,,,,,, I, you know ,,,,,,,

along the way I began to cry and cry I began to regret earlier lack of response,,,,,, I ,,,,

it's like trifling ,,,,, even ,,,,

I don't know how to

along the way I still keep thinking ,,,,,,

how come this is how I just recovered from the pain now replace Arum ,,,,,,,,,,

o Allah

let alone this ordeal ,,,,,,,,,

fear began to stifle my feelings ,,,,,

especially when I got home I saw a lot of people who came ,,,,,,,,

what's more I saw there was a yellow flag,,,,,,,,, that was ,,,,,,,,

my heart is as in the pull and in the squeeze ,,,,

suddenly my feet were limp and my body was like no. boned ,,,, ,,,,,,,,

I'm in a daze,,,,,,,,,, I'm,,,,,,,,,,

I asked what is this ,,,,,,???

I quickly ran in

into the house,,,,,,, into ,,,,,,

how shocked I was I was really surprised ,,,,

I saw my son Arum udh lying stiff and still wearing his school uniform

red white ,,,,,,

I was in total shock ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I was fixated on looking at his dead body that was stiffened ,,,, ,,,,,

I was silent,,,,, my tongue felt silly, ,,,,,,,

I can't cry anymore ,,,,,,,

my eyes were on the corpse in front of me and half couldn't believe that it was my son Arum,,,,,,,, that, that,,,,,,,,

I want to not believe, but real ,,,,,,,,,

I'm looking for papa

I meant to ask you a question but I saw papa blacking out and a lot of papa contact ,,,,,,,,,

I tried to call you but you didn't answer,,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,

I tried to pull his hand but my hand was in the hempas right,,,,,,,,, I,,,,,,,,,

I hugged papa but I was pushed with 'leg ,,,,,,,,,,

I'm confused why papa so this is what's my fault ????

finally with a feeling of unease I walked out of the room,,,,,,, I,,,,,,

I hug my son Vivi

I got him,,,,, I, I ,,,,

while sitting in front of his brother's body ,,,

I still can't figure out why papa is hostile to me ,,,,,,

hate me,,,,,, you know, I ,,,,,,

what's my fault ,,,,???

though yesterday I did not want long because I wanted to rush selling again ,,,,, 'cause ,,,,

I realize we don't have a dime I don't know if Arum's really sick ,????

and will it leave ???,,,,,

papa must not know klo now I only bring money 7000rb,,,,,,,,, I, I just bring money,,,,,,,,

yeah 'cause I don't have money, ,, , ,,, 'cause I don't have money ,,, ,,,,,

oh, my God,,,, that, uh,,,,,

this ordeal is so heavy ,,,,,

inul looks very scared ,,,,

repeatedly he apologized ,,,

I tried to calm her down , 'cause she's scared like this how can you tell me ????

finally he could calm down I started asking,,,

"Inul mom wants to ask how the story Arum can not be caught seriously ill ,,,,,

let's tell me about mom ,,,",

with trembling and a barely audible voice, Inul told the story of the incident this morning before leaving school ,,,,

",so morning Arum used to be a mother just emang Arum it males klo in waking up in the morning for school ,,,,

told to take a long bath, breakfast is also very long,,,,

invited to leave also malesan malesan ,,,,

Inul thinks Arum just males school ,,,,

there is no sign of a terminally ill person,,,,, a school also Inul anterine coke ,,,,,,

arrived at Arum road squatting ,,,,,,

it just so happened that the otom mang passed him nawarin Arum ushered in his motorbike ,,,,,,,

finally Arum riding the same bike mang otom ,,, enjel the same I walk ,,,,,,

usually Bu at school also Inul loi Arum run run

maen Ama made it so Inul went straight home ,,,,

Inul also did not know would be rich gini events ,,,,,",

finish the story Inul permit back ,,,,,,,

I can just shut up and think it's not entirely Inul's fault it's destiny,,,,, that ,,,,

oh God why there are always new problems after the problem is finished,,,,

canteen new rame arrived feet flush hot water,,,,, the ,,,,

3_4 bln we get rid of the cost that is not small for treatment,,,,,,,

just healed of foot problems, arrived the canteen collapsed and the canteen income fell sharply ,,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

the cafeteria is not stable,,,,,,, it's,,,,,,,

suddenly papa began to change ,,,,,,,

the problem with unresolved papa ,,,,,,,

now Arum is suddenly dead ,,,,,,,????

is it natural that this calamity is not ,,,,????

I feel like there's just a monitor ,,,,,,,

but I can what ,,,,,,????

every want to tell this oddity is equally papa ,,,, always does not care sometimes even fight ,,,,,,,,,, always ,,,,,,

and blame me,,,,,, and ,,,,,

confused about ,,,

it should be that papa is observant and can see - this unusual streak ,,,,,,

if I say this is an out of logic incident in saying I'm too much ,,,,, the superstition of the tip of his end I'm angry

and it's often the case behind this papa being rough,,,,,,,,

klo said heartache

I feel like this household is getting fucked up ,,,,,,,,

the harmony that we once felt is now gone, not left,,,,,, no, no,,,,,,,,

every meet is always a fight,,,,,,,,,

every time I meet there is a problem that makes a storm ,,,,,,

especially after papa became the pre-service committee ,,,,,

every big noise papa's got to grab a car key and then go ,,,,,,,,

no matter what I cry about ,

it doesn't matter if I chase the car,,,,,,, it, it's ,,,,,,

oh my God why is this my household ,,,,,,????

I haven't been married to Toto for a year but it's been like hell ,,,,,,,,

sometimes I think papa is not in love anymore ,,,,,,,,?????

why is papa so quick emotion ,,,,,,,??????

are there other women out there ,,,,,,?????

maybe where he was the committee there was something special in his eyes so make papa turn ,,,,,,,?????

o Allah help me ,,,,,,,,

suddenly I remembered Ana's words when she came to the cafeteria,,,,,, said ,,,,,,

it's been a while too the ,,,,,,, it's been ,,,,,,,

he's just a Dateng for a second just nyampein pesen from my papa ,,,,,,

it just so happened that he just came home from the same lamp Koko,,,,,,, that,,,,,

long story short ana says gini ,,,,,

"mbak Dewi kok very deserted her canteen ,,,,,,

yesterday even though ana time passed by a pretty rame yes ,,,,,"

while smiling meaningfully ,,,,,,,

ana continued to speak ,,,,,,

"but it's a pity that not long sales,,,, directly dapet kabibah feet mbak hot water yes ,,,,,,,,

I'm not aware of all this because of the torment of the parents,,,,,???? especially the prayer of a father ,,,????

,the wealth of the father is not ridho deh ,,,,,,

you must apologize to the same person who has been sick,,,,,,, or,,,,,,,

Ana Si just nyampein Amanah just mbak believe sukur is not okay ,,,,",

Ana breaks down and instantly turns on her motor and goes ,,,,

I didn't give you a chance to answer a word ,,,,,

there is a curious feeling about the meaning of the word he says,,,,,,,

but klo thought that the talk of Ana there actually could be spelled out to be accurate ,,,,

I was thinking,,,,,,, I was, I was ,,,,,,,

don't let all this have something to do with my family it could be what I'm going through there's a mastermind,,,,,,,, it's,,,,,

believe not believe but make sense also ,,,,,,,

Because my family toys used to be, like,,,,

klo doesn't like Ama people ,,,,

but the time is it with your own child????,,,,,

but if indeed Koko's talk at that time was really my big family heartache ,,,,,,,

it's not just because I left Asiung,,,,,, it's,,,,,

but there's also a problem between Mbak kus and Toto ,,,,,,

reasonable and reasonable ,,,,???

impossible where?????

it's hard to prove reality ,,,,,,

o Allah

my feeling in dzolimi why I was the one who said I deserved Azab ,,,,,

why do I have to apologize ,,,,,

I took a deep breath,,,,, I ,,,

oh, my God,,,, that, uh,,,,,

my family is right

wicked ,,,,,,,,

I'm still sitting there pensively confused as to how to deal with my family ,,,,,, I'm confused ,,,,,

to stop,,,,,,,,,,

suddenly I was shocked because someone was screaming from the outside and it was like he was coming to me,,,,,,,,, like, coming,,,,,,,,

his voice was not foreign,,,,,,, the,,,,,

like his voice mbak me,,,,,,,,,,

what's he yelling so yell ,,,,,,?????

not yet relieved of my shock he sat down before me and cursed me with a harsh word,,

"cheap woman base, no responsibility,,,,, no, no ,,,,,

the cave was sure to be like this at last , the son of Wiwin died one,,,, the cave sure this was the plan, was,,,, yes ,,,,!!!!

then bring here the son of Wiwin let him take care of the cave ,,,,, , please ,,,,as long as you know yes we are a family already guess the real thing you want is just Toto doang not son of Wiwin ,,,,,,

take this girl let the cave take care of it ,,,,,,,??",

I was angry trying to get Vivi off my lap ,,,,,,,

Vivi didn't want to even hug me while scared and crying

I'm so angry and it's like she's lost control, arriving ,,,,,,,,,

PL!!!!!!.

her hand landed on my cheek ,,,,,,

I'm surprised amazingly ,,,,,,,

didn't expect me to be this rough on me,,,,,,,, I was ,,,,,,

I palpated my sore cheeks ,,,,,

but more heartache

I immediately stood up to expel her while trying to hold back the cry,,,,,,,

it's over my patience,,,,,,, it's over ,,,,

it's a true delay of ,,,,,,,,

while carrying Vivi I said in a high tone ,,,,,,,

"you mean what is a cave slap ,,,,,,,,!!!????

you think that cave is matainin Arum,,,,,????!!!

the cave that killed him ???

you have no brain,,,,,,,,!!!!

the cave's asking you to get out of here,,,,,,, you,,,,,

you who dare to slap a cave !!!!!!,,,,

now you.go before the cave runs out of patience ,,,,,, the cave is not afraid of you ,,,!!!!?????_",

mbak I thought he wanted to attack again he shouted the rich yell of the doormat ,,,,,,, he yelled ,,,,,,

I don't give a shit

I also shouted no less angry ,,,,,, , 'em ,,,,,,

I've lost the shame of ,,,,,,

"during this time I was on them I thought you guys could stop but it turns out you guys are more outrageous ,,, exurrrrr!!!!!!_,",

finally the papa's men outside broke us,,,,,

I was taken into the room,,,,,, I,,,,

I see papa just lying motionless,,,,,, I ,,,,,

he's dead what fainted,,,,,,,

or stressss times ,,,,,,,,

he didn't hear me fight,,,,,, no ,,,,

how rich don't care I'm really hurt, papa is also ,,,,,,,,,, papa ,,,,,,,

I cried as hard as her ,,,

I was disappointed with my attitude towards me,,,,,,, I was ,,,,,,

now my attitude is also ,,,,,,,, I, too ,,,,,,,

what do I think I am ,,,,,????

I pat papa's shoulders hard ,,,,,,

I don't care if you wake up, too,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,

I've resigned to break the second world war I'm ready udh ,, ,,,,,

"father,,,,, Backgun,,,!! awake,,!!!! you're satisfied to see me slapped by my mother, you're afraid I'm accused of killing Arum??????,,,, you're angry Arum died, I'm angry Arum died, you're wrong me,,, mbak kus also ,,,,ayoooo wake papa ,,,,, you see Arum has not been undressed yet bathed, not yet sholated ,,, papa want to keep going ,,,,!!!!,",

I saw toto wake up from his sleep he came out of the room Arum's body is still wearing a uniform ,,,,,,

papa sat next to Arum ,,,,

"whichever way I am ,,, it is very impudent that she has dared to step on my pride as a husband, ,,,, the goddess my wife has what right she has in my house ,,,,,!!!_,'

I don't care about papa's attitude,,,,, I, you know ,,,,,,

my heart is already hurting ,,,,,

not only did it make me sick that your treatment with me earlier also made me sick,,,,,,,, too ,,,,,,

so let papa as if defending me still I no longer care

Toto out his men's ,,,

all papa's men said,,,,

"sorry the commander of his people has just left at the pack member,,,",,,,, you know ,,,",,,,

"

"look at him tell me, I want to ask him if he's ,,,,",

finally, papa takes care of Arum's body,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,

I bathed Arum with her body tilted with a hand stamp,,,,,,,, on,,,,,,,

the color is blackish blue,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,

I asked Mrs Haji happened to bathe ,,,

"this Hajj mom why there are so many palm marks on my son's back yes ,,,,,, like the former punch using the palm of the hand ,,,,",

The hajji ma smiled and replied ,,,,

,"like him son Arum is not sick but involved,,,,",

I don't understand I'm looking at Hajj ma'am,,,,,,, I don't ,,,,,

looks like Haji mom knows I'm confused ,,,,

"this is how you get involved it means there is the interference of the subtle-being ,,,"

astagfirullah ,,,,,,,

I'm really surprised ,,,,,

"who's really Bu Hajj ,,,?????

but guess where it's going Bu Haji ,,,",

"wah klo that I also do not know the mother, which I understand usually klo someone died,, died of such scars usually has to do with the interference of subtle-bodies,,,,,, and,,,,,

so mom ,,,

klo from where I don't understand mother ,,,",

I just fell silent and Hajj Ma told me to prepare the shroud and other appendages ,,,,

once finished disholatkan directly buried ,,,

many came to mourn,,,,,,

I'm driving with my dad and my other kids ,,,,,,

since funeral

I kept crying because that's all I got, ',,, 'cause ,,,,

sad and sad ,,,,

klo's right what Bu Haji said means is that this also has something to do with my family ,,,

I'm sad and confused ,,,

I have no evidence that there is even slander and that's a sin,,,, that ,,,,

get home,,,

papa's family has come and is gathering ,,,

toto was called

we were invited to chat, his eldest brother papa named mas Giman opened the conversation

at first I was just horrified a long time ago their talk

like my mojokin's ,,,

"i'm Suroto's older brother, what used to be said ,,

klo had any problems talking, but now it's like being different just thinking money and money, money, and,,

the child is taken care of only the maid ,,,

even what I heard was a child being abandoned ,,,,

all the neighbors talk to me ,,,

story to me,,,,, the ,,,,

klo want to make money may be but do not be spared responsibility as a wife ,,",!!!!,

o God, I'm the one who got 'em ,,,,

why am I always to blame,,,,,, why,,,,,

want to see when this slander is directed to me ,,,

I need to talk now,,,, I,,,

it's time to give them an explanation so that they don't become disinclined with me,,,,,,

and I'm always wrong in their eyes,,,

I have to talk!!!,,,,

must,,,,,!!!!! with a feeling of restraining anger I began to speak ,,,

"sorry mas I cut Giman's talk like this ,,,,,,by not reducing my respect to mas mas mbak mbak and adek all I want to explain the real situation why should I sell???? why have I never told you ????all I do is because I'm disappointed , ', as long as you know my husband's salary is now only 400k a month because there are many pieces,,, 'baby ', enough to where the salary is that I don't work ,,,,,,not to mention the 3-month incident

the past ,,,, when I got my feet watered by hot water ,,,,,,,

does anyone ever know who even cares ,,,,,,???not from my family, not from the Suroto family,,,,, not from my family ,,,,,

even Aris who has seen the wounds on my legs does he care ,,,,,,, just not let alone tell the others ,,, all busy with each other's affairs ,,,,the wound is not small mas look sorry klo not polite please see,,, my feet doused in hot water for almost 1.5 months I can not get up from the bed klo not in the bopong,,,,,,, I can not get up,,,,2months I suffered the walk of having to be dragged ,,,

4 Months I just can walk this way just not completely healed still red scar ,,, ,,, if anyone knows , Aris who already knows not nongol lg,,,what is it said kinship ,, I used to go to Aris house ,

bring food so that his wife's response is not good I Dateng,,,, but so I'm like this and no one cares what I'm there for??????

why do I Deket the klo family when I need all to go ,,,,,,, not from my family not from the Suroto mas family all the same ,,"

I lifted my foreskin pants so I could see the scar was still red,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

seeing the wounds on my feet everyone was shocked especially the wives

my brother-in-law, Narti's wife from mas wasidi spoke up,,,,, take it ,,,,

"o Allah I don't know if the Goddess was so badly affected,,,, Aris never told me what, I know, come mbak mbak ,,,,, , , 'cause Aris never told you what ,,,, Aris why don't you talk ,,,???"

bude asked Narti Aris diem did not dare to say what he was down ,,,,

suddenly the chat stopped and I allowed in the room,,, I was fed up with the events after events, which happened today ,,,,,, I, I was sick ,,,,,,I'm already bored and disappointed I'm sitting next to bed ,,,,

suddenly papa entered and just kept quiet as if no matter ,,,,

with a broken feeling I speak

"I give up pah klo continue this way I can not ,, from last afternoon you pa , I was blamed papa also blame me right, my mother and my other brother also , , '' ''bak kus and my other brother also ,

now brother papa also fault me I'm not strong pah , I'm sorry klo know after marriage I became your monthly month ,,,,, thought I do not hurt what ,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,mending we don't have to keep this marriage ,,,",

I thought papa would hug me and nenangin me like I used to ,,,,,

it turns out my guess missed papa instead of yelling at me

"oh that's ,,,,,,, that's ,,,,,,,

yeah, well, that's why you want it,,,,, you think I'm a penny,,,,,, you think I want to,,,,,, I want to disperse, yeah we've dispersed ,,,,,,how to taste good on your own",

I was shocked and limp ,,,,,,

why are you even talking like that,,,,???? did I say wrong???

why do I say klo will this answer mending diem aja ,,,

with a blue haru feeling I came out of this sick heart room ,,,,

o Allah until when I live like this,,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,

and the event of not wearing it just passed ,,,,,

that's what I am

even if what kind of people's treatment is so done, I've forgotten ,,,,,

once it's normal again like there's no problem ,,,,, no ,,,,,

like replace the one that took my body ,,,,,

it is beyond reason,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

I don't seem to have any feelings,,,,, like, no ,,,,,

I don't know if it's good or bad that I know I'm worse than a madman,,,,,,, or, like, that ,,,,,,

sometimes I don't know or remember what I've done,,,,, or what I do ,,,,,,

the event of not wearing it has already passed ,,,,,

leaving a dark story either can still be stored in my memory.or not ,,,,,,

for sure after that I'm used to it again ,,,,,,,

like nothing happened,,,,,,, like,,,,,

but after Arum died I decided to find a canteen that was more Deket from home and could go home every day ,,,,,,

I'm afraid I'll lose my son again enough Arum to escape my attention,,,,,,, that,,,,,,

this canteen s

absolutely cannot be expected any more ,,,,,

the more days the more ruined his income is ,,,

that afternoon Tampa deliberately came the father of the young father probably sepadi my husband,,,,

his dashing guy , ,,,,,,

handsome,,,,,,,,

big height ,,,,,,

his skin was clean,,,,,,,, he was,,,,,,,,

he came to lunch and drank iced ,,,,,,,

while eating he invites me to talk,,,,,,, he,,,,,,

her people are friendly like her she's not just an ordinary person ,,,

"mom knows me, I yan yan,camat Bogor Selatan ,, mak Suroto's wife right ???klo Suroto it's my Cs ,,,,

the cuisine is delicious and does not sell behind the IPB campus which is deket PMI,

there's a mother's rame let alone klo that is sold rich food such a mother must sell,,,,,,

klo mom is interested let me say Suroto ,,,,,

later I talk to Mr. Suroto to ask the Tegal legal pack relieved kiosk that has Yan Yan sir that,,,,,,, later ask for the key ,,???",

he spoke like a young man in a senetron of rich senetron in a senetron of princesses for the prince and he who was Raymond's pack,,,,, that is,,,,

how do Yan Yan Yan's people look like a rich manners, his hair style, his way of speaking is very similar,,,,

"the real sir,,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,,

so I want sir,,,,,,,, it just so happens that here the rent is expensive 12 hours a year already so difficult buyers ,,,,,,,,, it's, it's, it's ,,,,,,,

which there are many trades in the throw pack ,,,,,,

klo emang actually there is an empty kiosk I want sir let me rent it too ,,????"

"No No No No,,, no need,,,,, no need to hire any local mom

later klo mother selling her bestselling sweet love aja kelurahan 100 rb, do not need a lot of Bu it stalls have a local government, _,"

he said in a typical style ,,,,

I was so shocked to hear it between my smile and not believing ,,,

oh, God,,,,,, God, you ,,,,,,

in the meantime, there is always your help, God

"oh good sir klo so later I talk about his father and let my husband later call father ,, today also , but before him thank you very much sir, sir ,,,???",

finished eating and drinking ice pack Yan Yan Yan went and reminded that Suroto cepet call him ,,, the problem of family affairs let him call his paraphernalia to take care and give the key ,

so sir Yan Yan Yan left

I called papa straight away,,,,,, I ,,,,,

papa greeted him with pleasure directly phone Yan Yan Yan and as soon as finished the phone papa immediately saw his location ,,,,,

oh, God,,,,, God, is ,,,,,

may this storm pass away soon ,,,,,,,

with his silence I faced the problems I experienced, the blasphemy I received, even though with tears of pain I could only surrender and be sure God would always be ,,,,,,, I, I was ,,,,,,,

and I'm sure ,,,,,,,

in every problem, God will send the solution either through who ,,,,,,,,, or through ,,,,,,,,