A Tattered Heart
the capter 21

long He was silent I still remained patiently waiting for ,,,,,

until finally AA continues the story again ,,,

"then I was told the address of the Goddess who now I do not directly Dateng but AA went home first to talk to me first,,,,,,,,, AA.,,,,,

home ,,,,,, at ,,,,,

we're talking about you,,,,,, we're ,,,,,

AA story if Dewi has moved house twice ,,,,,,,

now AA says get the address of Toto's ex-boyfriend who used to be,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

god willing this address is actually ,,,,,

klo kemaren in villa Bogor turned out to be Dewi only contracted ,,,,,,,

AA also said the story of Toto's men klo Dewi for the palace is not home anymore,,,,,,,

that's why Asih was curious ,,,,,,

originally wanted to come but AA forbid fear later wrong address again ,,,,,

that's why I just left alone ,,,,,

even if I stray stray also just this alone anyway AA man

not afraid why 'em ,,,,

it's different if you take your brother ,,,,,",

I nodded in confirming

reason AA ,,,,

suddenly there was the sound of the house bell ,,,,,

I'm allowed with AA to see who's coming in ,,,,

I walked towards the front yard ,,,,,

I opened the little box at the gate of my house ,,,,

turns out my husband was,,,,,, a ,,,,,

Thank God the truth once papa comes ,,,

but what papa no work should be at this hour papa hasn't come home yet ,,,,,

" papah,,,,,,, what,,,,,,,,????

how have you gone home tumben ,,,,???

not busy at the office,,,,,???

but Thank God also the papa came home by chance in joglo there is AA ,,,,,",

looks papa's frowning ,,,,,,

and then shortly afterwards, he smiled and hugged me,,,,, and,,,,,

we walked to the back of the house,,,,,, we ,,,,,,

just right walk to joglo ,,,,,,

arriving at Joglo AA surprised to see the arrival of Toto he immediately quickly quickly shaman and hugged his ,,,,

there was a longing in his eyes,,,,,, and ,,,,,,

I got moved ,,,,,, I got ,,,,,,

"eh to what's so cool ya you now have a dream house ,,,,,

this is what designed the pinter,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,,

AA so stay here a long time ,,,,,

ntar klo can AA want to ngajak mbak Asih come here so seneng ,,,",

AA talk vigorously,,,,,,,

Toto responded with pleasure and did not seem to mind at all ,,,,,,,

it turns out that over time you can start to forget about AA mistakes in the past ,,,,,

with a typical smile papa answered ,,,,

" please,,, what do you want to do now ,,,?? there's an empty room,,, and, well, my son's son sleeps in mes every week once a week, he's gone ,,,,",

AA looked very cool but he then fell silent for a moment and with a heavy heart said,,,,

"don't now ,,,,,,,,

still , many unresolved problems ,,,",

I know where AA talks 'bout,,,, I know ,,,,

actually I also pity AA but I can do what I went wrong,,,,,, I can ,,,,,

Toto then sat down and took fish food and he spread it in the pond below us sat ,,,,,, he said ,,,,,

looks like a lot of fish clustered,,,,,, there's,,,,,

from goldfish, gurame, gabus, and bawal ,,,,

all big big,,,,,,, the,,,,,

AA is happy to see fish fighting over food,,,,,

there is a fairly large fish that gurame fish age there is 2th,,, large and wide ,,,,,,, the ,,,,

AA to the point of screaming seeing her,,,,,,

"astagfirullah the Goddess of the giant fish yes ,,,,, big, why not cooked aja ,,,, is, God very big ,,, _,",

me and Toto laugh together ,,,,,,

"oh that's his name pintul he's the longest resident here ,,,,,

all his temen already finished in the cook ,,, it's got a sister,,,,,, it's ,,,,

like to be sought after klo fitting home ,,,, because he who bought him also who love the name,, it's the best color A so dear klo want to cook ,,,,,",

Toto laughed and added

"klo want to cook that Laen also lives a lot already on about one size of his,,,, my wife likes to cook cork in the fried vegetable cooking truss asem ,,,, hmmm mantapppp",

the three of us laughed with Susana that morning so happy that I brought papa a cup of coffee,,,,,,

in joglo I have prepared a small kitchen above the pool

this is intended to make it easier for me to do or entertain our closest guests while in joglo ,,,,,

because the distance between the joglo and the house is quite far ,,,,,

although not up to 300 meters about 200 meters more deh ,,,, because we still have to pass through the garden , cages , various vegetable gardens,, and fruit trees,,,,,,

from the pendopo deliberately I made his path using ceramic stone-shaped small stone as if like rocks arranged ,,,,

on the left right of the road I give a fence of colorful dwarf ashoka flowers there are yellow, red, orange,,,,,,,,, yellow ,,,,,,,

add beautiful ,,,,,,,,

like a colorful color line ,,,

50 Meters by the kitchen door I replaced the fence with strawberry trees,,,, his planting media using a polybek pouch I made lined up on the left right of the road,,,,,,,, the, pouch ,,,,,,

if it has been a very beautiful fruit ,,,,,,

to the south I planted a chili tree, spinach, kale, katuk,sawi, kol, cauliflower, broccoli, all lined up a row of rows according to his type ,,,, this is our vegetable garden ,,,,,,,,, all lined up ,,,,,there I also planted ',,,,,,,, that, that ,,,,,,,,

tomato, cucumber, eggplant

in every corner I planted a fruit tree,,,, , , , I planted a royal guava tree

my pride ,,,,,,,,,

crystal guava ,,,,,,,

mangoes ,,,,,,,

Avocado butter ,,,,,,,

starfruit ,

sometimes klo already in joglo want to go home to the main house of males once.,,,,

here his view off Tampa is blocked by a wall or wall like a house ,,,,,

behind the joglo I prepared cooking utensils ,,

emergency kitchen is more precise her ,,,,

the living room in the main house is only for people who really want to visit only ,,,,,,,

so joglo is a special place for the gathering place of the people closest to us ,,,,,

if we want to cook or want to have lunch we do not need to go to the main house or bring cooked food from the main house lg ,,,,,,,,

because I've prepared vegetable ingredients or seasonings complete here ,,,,,,

even here I put soklis (glass door refrigerator) to make a place of vegetables and fruits that I pick from the garden ,,,,,,,

Initially papa disagreed gradually it was precisely papa who often filled drinks or

I'm a bubble when it's over ,,,,,,

because our day was spent in the back garden ,,,,,,

it's rare that we're in the main house ,,,,

except sleep only ,,,,,

even then we both sometimes take naps in joglo ,,,,

more precisely his joglo is our second home ,,,,,,

AA looks greget want to take fish fish that fish ,,,,,

many times his hands were put into the pool.,,,,,,

I laughed my husband went to get a net for a fish ,,,

"ni A nets her if you want to take fish ,,,,,

choose the largest ,,,,,

just so don't get boobs can brother pass out ,,,,",

AA laughs I the three of us laugh

"engga need Wie ntar aja klo AA bring your new mbak we make vegetable asem we eat together with ,,,,,,",

I nodded in agreement,,,,,,,, I,,,,,,,

long we joke

Until the time comes for lunch ,,,,,

I started cooking the meal for our lunch,,,,,,,,

the pufferfish that aunt picked up this morning from the pond I made pesmol,,,,,

the fragrant smell of cooking made my husband impatient to go straight in and help me to prepare lunch ,,,,,,

look at red rice, pesmol, lalap and fried tofu so tempting ,,,,,

AA rada was shocked when he saw the red rice ,,,,,

"A calm a delicious kok pulen just as rich white rice try just sure.addiction ,,,,,",

sure enough when AA ate one mouthful he really seemed to enjoy the taste of ,,,,,

"nonshine rice cake delicious same rich white rice,,,,,,, yes ,,,,

how can this usually be brown rice that AA once cooked the shoe Wie ,,,,

so never cook again this is different yes ,,,,,",

I smiled my husband too ,,,,

"we usually cook red rice mixed with white rice ,, so the taste is still the same pulent ,"

"oooo ", uh ",

AA nods a nod at the sign of understanding ,,,,

eat aunt Dateng ,,,,

straight away clean up the marks we ate ,,,,,,

today's lunch was really delicious ,,,,,,

finish our meal sitting by the pool ,,,,

then AA continues the story again ,,,,

"since entering the hospital Koko's condition concerned ,,,,,

he can only be intolerant Tampa can get out of bed,,,,,, he can get up ,,,,,

maybe it's because he's stresseds,,,,, uh,,,,

or maybe it was his own doing ,,,,,

mama has tried to dobatin Koko from the doctor ,Ajengan, until mom herself who ngobatin tetep Koko can not wake up ,,,,,,

yesterday Koko vomited 'em ,,,,

mama was scared to scream we were angry with Neno because I already told mama that Koko vomited vomit ,,,,, because mama would not know klo not in the ,,,,,,,,,,, because ,,,,,,,,mama can't see anymore Wie ,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,

pas Koko said she wanted to meet the Goddess before she died ,,,,,,

so horrified Koko said so mad mama and even accused you who have made koko like this ,,,,,

the swearing came out of my mama's mouth,,,,,,,

until finally Pas Tuty denger you in oath swearing mama Tuty angry say Koko this because of his act do not blame the Laen people,,,,,,, this is ,,,,,

the cave is also given a great reprimand also the cave is not in fact the people who know this cave is wrong cave ,,,,,,,,, this cave ,,,,,,

Tuty also said ,,,,

we are too often ngerepotin Goddess from the goddess of the rich to destitute and continue to be rich again somehow now how the circumstances we do not know it all because of our actions ,,,, and ,,,,which too often makes him disappointed ,,,,,,,,

The goddess is a good man her husband is also a good son her son is also good we are the same always evil she is ,,,,,,",

I just kept quiet and listened to the word AA

"pas Tuty says that everyone is put,,,,,, that's how everyone is ,,,,,,

just mama doesn't seem to accept ,,,,

mama even said that Tuty uler head two and so on,,,,,,, that ,,,,,

he also said Klo Tuty dapet kamibah rich is reasonable fruit of Tuty's own rigidity ,,,,,

but if what Koko experienced was the work of the Goddess ,,,,,,,,

Tuty instantly angry ,,,,

she said mommy was favoritism,,,,, not fair ,,,,,,,,

finally the same big storm mama ,,,,,, this time no one is behind ,,,, not mama Tuty ,,,,,,,, no ,,,,,

we are also confused about which one is ,,,, which is ,,,,,

klo wants to defend Tuty must be mama does not accept ,,,,,,,

but klo want to defend mama is obviously the wrong mama",

I'm the same papah just nodding a nod of thought sign ,,,,,,

what Tuty says is true ,,,,,,

there is a sense of kasian and pity with mama why it is so old not consciously even still just addin sins ,,,,,,,, even ,,,,,,

o Allah, if thou giveest long life to mama,,,,.,.,., etc,,,,,.,

please also give me guidance in her ,

in order to make his life as a charity field for later savings while in the grave ,,,,,

if he dies later ,,,,,,,,, if ,,,,,,,,

but on the contrary, if the age you give more is used to add to sin and idolatry, you better not add his age,,,,,, it is,,,,,

pity that my mother will die more and more of the sins ,,,,,

,it is better not to live long but the provision in the grave is enough to accompany her later ,,,,,,

I don't feel these tears falling again ,,,

I feel sad and sad why mom took all of this ,,,,,,,,

is this also fate,,,?????

AA resumes his story,,,,,,,

"since Tuty was angry with his mother he did not appear again and mama also did not want Tuty that there was only Koko who was in his mind,,,,, every day nangis think about the state of Koko ,,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,I JD even thought,,,, Koko is so passionate in the life of the mother, compared to her other children ,,,,, Koko ,,,,even the neno and Sendy who had been taking care of him were not even in his hut ,,,,, just Koko and Koko ,,,,,,,,, just ,,,,,,

AA once males Dateng nengok Koko but mama nyariin AA mbak Asih phone for nyariin Dewi ,,,,, mama nyariin AA mbak Asih ,,,,

mama Dewi said the main thing should be Dateng nengokin Koko ,,,,

until weeks AA back and forth nyariin Dewi ,,,,,

ntar until home must have been his mama had met A,,,,

klo AA answered not as usual angry and accused AA has been as conspicuous as Tuty to not nyari me.,,,,,,,,,,, Tuty.,,,,,,,,

sad and misguided AA at that time but AA can what ,,,,????

Thank God I finally found your house too ,,,,,,

means AA tasks are complete,,,,,,,

well now it's only the duty of the Goddess to mutusin want to nurutin mama's will or not that important AA has told all to you ,,,,,

but the decision is the same Goddess and Toto ,,,,,,",

the AA said as he looked at us alternately,,,,,,,

I was silent my husband too we both kept quiet and nodded while thinking ,,,,

finally with a heavy voice like wanting to show klo he strongly objected to ,,,,,,,

"well for me A how mom is a parent,,,, we have to appreciate but if the condition is like this I also think later what the fate of my wife klo she Dateng ,,,,, I think ,,,,,,

I guarantee you don't run amok with my wife ,,,,????

don't let us not look long, though,

but once it appears we're even in maki maki ,,,,

and yet we come with full consideration,,,,, and,,,,

what we must be saying is that AA has been beating our noses ,,,,,

and we also feel the horror of Koko's situation,,,,, that,,,,,

and the last one because I think this is the mama who told AA to make our noses ,,,,,,

but klo later get there even maki maki ,,,,

I don't love what my wife feels like ,,,,,,",

AA diem in my heart also justifies what papa said,,,,,,

indeed, all this time it always happened so ,,,,

unless my mommy already knows me and I really feel like I need me then I just Dateng,,,,,,,, I really feel ,,,,,,

later usually good new mama, want to hug me ,,,,

but if he's still mad and still hurts me ,,,,

for sure if I'm a regular Dateng he's gonna have a tantrum,,,,,,,

I want the time of the incident when the late BPK msh existed when I only talked a little bit

but mama's straight in the longs got daddy's blood up and kicked me out ,,,

oh God I remember it was sick,,,,,, really, I came to a conclusion ,,,,,,, that ,,,,,

actually the key to all the keys to this family problem is mama ,,,,,,

all the events of the deceased are still alive to this very second all over the control of mama ,,,,,

so I was thinking if I hadn't come ,,,,

until Koko dies it's also fate because

he's too cocky and cocky ,,,,,,

never appreciated his older brother's ,,,,,

even if I could just please she could talk like that,,,,,, she could ,,,,,,

I doubt I'd want to see him,,,,,, I wonder ,,,,,

it takes a long time and careful thought for Dateng ,,,,

I was worried about,,,,,,, I was ,,,,,,,

I can only take a deep breath,,,,,,,, I can ,,,,,,,,

and just like AA knows what I'm thinking,,,,, like,,,,

then he said ,,,,,,,

"trus how Wie think you want Dateng nengok Koko not ,,,, if you want to see the news ya ntar AA wait at the gate of RSTP but

it is also up to the Goddess that is important I have arrived

the problem of Dateng or not is that the Goddess is erratic,,,,,,, is ,,,,,,

it's to ,,,,, it's, it's ,,,,

because AA also can not maksain ntar klo what is even AA is wrong ,,,,,

AA do not want later Dewi relationship with AA so it is not good anymore ,,,, because now AA is old", so it is not good anymore ",

Toto nodded ,,,,,,

"yes how about aja dech A, I also have to discuss the same husband first,,,,,,, I, too ,,,,,

hopefully I can immediately give you an answer,,,,,,, I can,,,,,

ask no TLP AA just who knows I want to go there ntar so there are nganter ,,,,",

AA like to agree and finally did not.lam back home ,,,,,,

before saying goodbye AA also set the story again and the story this time for me to shake my head

"AA is also confused because Koko is also a crying mama who does not stop who now can not see,,,,,,,, the ,,,,,

Now mama doesn't see Wie ,,,,,,

klo the road is led, want to drink taped to the mouth,,,,,, the ,,,,,

kasian too,,,,, uh,,,,

but, sometimes a sprain ,,

hard to find yourself ,,

but how does he want to be our parents Wie,,,,, and we love our sins ",

I took a deep breath of gasping words AA everywhere also mama our parents ,,,,,, , too ,,,,,

although sometimes I think what he did was unfair especially his treatment to me first,,,,,,, that ,,,,,

her deeds are more evil than a stepmother's ,,,,,,

sometimes I think maybe this is part of the destiny that they have to accept or this is the karma that they have to live after what they have done to me,,,,,,, or what they have done to me,,,,,,,

too many wounds they left in my heart ,,,,,,

many and in ,,,,,,

but if this is destiny I can what ,,,,,, if ,,,,,

can I block destiny ,,,

while I was defending myself in front of them alone I couldn't ,,,,,,

they are too strong too evil and are good at tongue-shinting ,,,,

until I finally decided it was better to disappear ,,,,,

I never used to be hurt even though they hurt me a lot,,,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,,,,,

even since Mama Dateng and moved here I've been helping their economy,,,,, and ,,,,,

but each time it ends with disappointment and regret ,,,,,,,

their attitude has always been the same klo need on well to me

and willingly looking for me ,,,,,,

but if they don't need it anymore they'll treat me like a human, it's worth nothing,,,,,,, it's, it's all ,,,,,,,,

not just once but often they do

that's why I'd better disappear from them ,,,

maybe about 5th I left their lives,,,,,

I didn't tell you on purpose that I moved house ,,,

from the youngest ones not yet graduated school until now they've been on the leave of me and papa,,,,,,, to determine their future ,,,,,,, to ,,,,,,

but I never gave any news or came to their house,,,,, I ,,,,,,

I really disappeared,,,,,,, I,,,,,

until finally AA looked for me again ,,,,,,,

recounting events after events that made me feel like I was,,,,,, that ,,,,,

moved,,,,,,

and there's a feeling of regret,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,,,

but what actually happened ,,,,,, is ,,,,,,

to be honest, I'm less sure myself ,,,,,,,, I'm ,,,,,,,

and whether my presence is right is expected ,,,,,,,,

only God knows,,,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,,,,