A Tattered Heart
the capter 15

Before long the phone rang again ,,, this time I immediately asked where my son was being treated

he said at the PMI Tampa hospital thinking long ago my husband and I immediately turned the direction of ,,,,,

whereas at that time we were distributing fried rice for those who had just returned home from the pilgrimage ,,,,

it's a routine we do every Friday night,,,,, it's, it's ,,,,,

and our arrival is usually a lot of children who have been waiting because the pilgrimage to the tomb is mostly children,,,,,, that is,,,,

they're even up to our car no hapal license plate ,,,,

so as soon as we came the boy ran after our car

it's just like tonight I can't see them because I have to take care of things first ,,,,,

this accident was beyond my estimation,,,,,, this,,,,,

it's pure calamity ,,,,,,,,

my car stopped in front of a sick rmh ,,,,,,

I ran straight to the ER looking for my son,,,,,,,, I,,,,,,,

as soon as I reached the room I was shocked and pity ,,,,,,

looks like he's scarred here and there,,,,, there ,,,,,

blood flowed from his wound in his hand and his leg ,,,,,

pretty battered ,,,,,, that's ,,,,

I hope you don't break a bone ,,,,,,

I hurriedly approached her and asked with the nurse who was taking care of her wound ,,,,,,

",the doctor's guard is there, has the doctor checked yet ???",

the smiling sister had not yet had time to answer,,,,,,

the bagas that immediately answered ,,,,

"my doctor checked in here already ,,,,,"

he said it was weak like enduring pain,,,,,,, like ,,,,,,

relieved I heard her ,,,,,

between worry and a sense of raging into one ,,,,

klo inget her behavior every day her style is rancid and ,pinter sparkling tongue

yes make blood rise ,,,,,,,

not to mention klo wrong in anger he will find Ama problem adeknya ,,,,, he ,,,,

klo inget behavior Bagas to me and his brother J. D. males urusin he wants to be ignorant or not care ,,,,,,, he wants ,,,,,,

but if you look at the situation like this, you don't have to also ,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,

especially if I don't care if I don't care good enough. papa ,,,,,,,,??????

what did you say later,,,,,,?????

the time of a mother does not care about the state of her child who just had an accident ,,,,,,,,

the pantes also don't ,,,,,,,

I'm taking this all for papa's sake,,,,,, I'm, uh ,,,,,,

how can I do this because of papa ,,,,

I finally got rid of my annoyance with his ,,,,,

I can't be evil with my own child ,,,,,,,,,,

I calmed down and asked

"why did you get hit, where did you hit ,kok you in the ER alone ???which motor is your ????which helmet are you ? ",A,

bagas answered my question ,,,,

"don't know that I came here ma, but don't know what to say ,,,,

his motorbike is ,,,

but the helmet says mah,,,,,"

I take a breath between the kasian and the disappointed this kid sometimes messes up ,,,,,

he must have been hit because he was also ,,,,, he was ,,,,,

I went straight to get the cure,,,,,, I,,,,,

at home I healed his wounds,,,,,,, I ,,,,,

I have to take care of the wound klo not afraid of infection because the wound is quite wide and dalem ,,,,

nice screaming in pain sometimes crying may be really sick,,,,, uh,,,

a week he can't take gas,,,,,,,, he can't ,,,,,,,

maybe this is a reprimand for him,,,, maybe,,,,

that's a mother's heart,,,,,, that's, a,,,,,,

after all still can not bear the same child, my son ,

but sometimes gratitude is also still present in my heart ,,,,,,,,

as brash as his Bagas at home ,,,,,,

but

he can still keep the good name of the parents and family ,,,,,,

if invited to visit my family or my family or cruise wherever the child is happy,,,,

never be ashamed of losing all the bad that there is ,,,,,

people if they see the first bagas meet his impression Bagas is his son super deh ,,,,,,

,already handsome ,,,,,,,

friendly ,,,,,,,,

quiet,,,,,,,,,

polite,,,,,,,,

nurture and love parents and siblings ,,,,,,

away from her daily habit of home ,,,,,,,,,

sometimes we also feel astonished ,,,,,,

how can be a really good imaging ya ,,,,,,,

like the hospital, yesterday,,,,, like,,,,

as soon as I saw it, I immediately cried, directly hugging me ,,,,,,

let's be angry not answer just yes sorry mah ,,,,,

that's what he always does in public ,,,,

so if you are not a housemate, no one would think that Bagas has many shortcomings,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,

since the incident Bagas can not bring another motor ,,,

quite a long time Bagas did not carry a motor ,,,,,,,,

Bagas urinated

but than he wretched again ???,

I'm the one who's the most adamant about not making him take a motor ,,,,

but long time I feel bothered too klo he can not bring a motor how to take gas ???

finally with many rules he can bring the bike again looks very happy face,,,,,,,,

days passed by and she began to prepare to participate in the pkkmb event held in Poltekkes ,,,,

kasian also from 6 am finished at 6 pm continued at 9 pm,,,,,,,

now it's so hard to talk to brother ,,,,,,,

brother belongs to Poltekkes completely,,,,, the,,,,

honestly there's a sense of loss but I have to be ready ,,,,

because it's her time she's looking for a way to her future ,,,,,,,

this afternoon while I was cleaning the front porch ,,,, there was a noise coming from inside the house ,,,,,,

I've guessed for sure Bagas made trouble again just as adek his ,,,,

I'm angry and kelas adek her invited to duel when it's her adek chick,,,,

what makes the head gnarled his problems is just trivial,,,,,,

I was surprised to hear him yell out in anger,,,,,,,,

" heyyyy,,,,, don't stick in your armpits yeah ,,,,,

if you dare to go out ,,,,,,,

we're dueling ",

Bagas said that while pointing his way

',who's afraid, ', adek people are not wrong ",

waduhhhh berabe like this ,,,,,,, this ,,,,,,,

could this real war ,,,, could ,,,,

I was immediately angry ,,,,,,, ,,,

and approaching them both,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

o God, this child is looking for trouble, and ,,,

although I shouldn't have to worry ,,,

because my three kids are the same as black belt ,,,,,,

if they really fight it is not so bad to lose it is ,,,,,,

in addition to the body of the super-tall strength is also stronger than Bagas,,,,,,

because even though she's a big power chick,,,,,,, she's,,,,,,

even Bagas also if it's not wrong ever slammed him ,,,,

just the youngest of this style is more calm ,,,,,,,,

not like the frontal Bagas,,,,,,,, that's,,,,,,,,

my son is three of his three black belts,,, yes it's klo already on the noisily out his form that I fear the neighbors in the storm and coming again will bother ,,,,,,,,, the neighbors ,,,,,,who is ashamed of me too

"start again ,,,,,,

you think you're that great ,,,,???you never think ',,,,,,,, you ,,,,,,,

if you win you are ashamed,,,,,, you,,,,,,

especially if you lose?????,,,,,, what do people say ,,,"

I'm talking in the middle of them two,,,,,,, I'm ,,,,,,

Bagas diem and back and his rancid face out ,,,,,,

the face that bleaches ,,,,

he went over I guess most immediately slept,,,,,,,, I guess ,,,,,

he's always been so cloaked feeling cornered ,,,

go and g

not out of the clo is not called ,,,,,,,

always have been and I've memorized his habits ,,,,,

I'm still emotional and upset ,,,,,,,,,

finally I sat in the front seat,,,,,,, I,,,,,,

it's no taste to continue my work just now ,,,,,,

finally Vivi's working on her ,,,,,

looks like he feels guilty,,,,, like ,,,,,

finished in order vivi disappeared upwards did not dare to disturb me,,,,,

looks like he knows I'm pissed off ,,,,,,,

sitting down I thought about my son's habits Bagas ,,,,,,,,

I was confused to see his behavior that was not the same as the upbringing of the two of us ,,,,,,

"you want that gas gas,,,, that's how brazen it is to go through the seven heavens,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

follow the habits of who tries ,,,,,,

o Allah O Rabbi,,,,,,,,",

suddenly so remembered the behavior of my grandfather Koko ,,,,,, I ,,,,,

I just realized it turns out Koko's nature and habits look a lot like, the same Bagas ,,,,,,,

I don't want the gas to keep going like his uncle,, can, can be as fateful as his

koko ,,,,,,, a ,,,,,,,

though his life was Morat Marit ,,,,

messed up and concerned,,,,,

but still tengil and ngeselin,,,,,,,,, the,,,,,,,

he didn't realize that it was the fruit of his behavior all this time ,,,,

I've come to think of what happened 20 years ago,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

when she was a bachelor she seemed to love me,,,,,,, she looked so sweet,,,,,,

the main concern is always there for me ,,,,,,

among my other grandchildren, only Koko seems to care so much about me ,,,,,,,

that's why it's normal for every one of him

ask for money no matter how much I love,,,,,,,, no matter what ,,,,,,,,,

one day Koko confided in me,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,

if he wants to get in the cops,,,,,,,, he wants to ,,,,,,,

but my parents don't have money to pay for him,,,,,,,, no,,,,,,,

he begged me to help him get in the cops,,,,,,,,, you know, you know ,,,,,,,,

anyway, he really wants to be a cop,,,,, he wants to be,,,,,

finally willing to make money for him ,,,,,,,

and he said my brother-in-law's klo is Toto (wiwin's husband)

got a dalem guy who can go in who can be ,,,,,

I agreed and then I called my sister-in-law (Toto),,,,, I, I,,,,

used to be Wiwin's husband,,,,,, uh,,,,,

I want to ask you about that problem,,,,,,, I want to ,,,,,,,,

"asalamualaikum,,,,, the,,,,,

to this I want to ask

his plan Kokok want a list of police ,,,, about how much money abis if it reaches ,,,,,,, how ,,,,,

keep thinking you have a dalem don't ,,,,,,,????"

toto's voice came from ,,,,,,,,

"waalaikumsalam ,,,, there's a question that you can't just not I also can't mastiin 100%wake in ,,,,,,, I can ,,,,,

klo's gonna try and I'll ask you ',,,,,,, I can ,,,,,,

the problem of funds later on is that it's easy if I need to call 'em ,,,,

how many can't mastiin ,,,,,",

said Toto explaining to me.,,,

indeed since marrying Asiung I became the mainstay of my family ,,,,, I ,,,,,

if they needed funds and asked for money-related info, it would be me that they told them to go forward ,,,,,,,

well like the current ,,,,,,,

after starting Toto's registration call me if he needs the funds,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,,

and usually I transfer directly to my first mbak account 9, JT,,,,,,,

yang

second I send 20jt, please,

the third 14, JT ,

that afternoon, I called Toto to talk about the funds to get Koko to the police

"to , anyway klo need to stay SMS aja ntar I send his money to mbak kus ,,, later you just ask me to mbak I let mbak kus ready ,,,,,",

I said the same Toto used to be ,,,,

from then on everything that handled finance was me ,,,,,,,

until one day I called him he said he said Kokok failed to enter Bintara

but he said he also couldn't completely blame Toto,,,,, no ,,,,

because his crow is also not the intention he always ngandelin Toto doang no effort alone ,,,,,,,,,, no ,,,,,,,

klo wasn't told he didn't want to walk,,,,,,,, no ,,,,,,,

while the toto.also have to take care of his own adek make a list of police also ,,,,,,,

tu fersi mbak kus and his wife Toto ,,,,,,

but Koko's fersi is different again ,,,,,,

since the failure he went straight home and talked him away from what in their talk ,,,,

far away and the point is that he turns on Toto because in addition to entering kin Koko,,,,, he ,,,,

Toto also entered his kin adek as well,,,,

yes automatically one must be sacrificed ,,,,,,,

when I heard Koko's explanation there was a feeling of sprain and disappointment and also the horror,,,,

finally I'm lazy to hook up again with Toto,,,,,,,,, I,,,,,,,,

I asked my husband for help (formerly Asiung)

make koko entrance ,,,,,,,,

at that time it just so happened that Asiung had a friend who used to enter org klo want a list of police ,,,,,,

usually the rates are 50jt,,,,,, the,,,,

at that time

guaranteed entry,,,,,

Asiung directly asked me

"your family is ready for no money ",

I said whatever, can the origin of the Cigarette can enter ,,,,,,,,

Asiung directly said his temen,,,,,,,,,

I'm pretending to call me ,,,,,, I ,,,,,

and pretend I asked for a transfer right now ,,,,

though I transfer money to mbak kus and Mak Kus transfer again to my account again muter aja,,,,,,,, transfer,,,,,

and that's my money, too ,,,,,

if I ask mama where's that much money,,,,,,,, where,,,,,,

well I had to do this game of lies ,,,,,

how about another ,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,,,

this is the sacrifice a sister made her adek ,,,,,,

the important thing is to be able to see her happy dick is enough,,,,,,,,,, that's enough ,,,,,,,,,

even though what I did was terribly wrong ,,,,,,,

but I don't care who I think can help except me ,,,,,,

maybe because of my less-than-excusable way ,,,,

finally, God does not love Ridho ,,,,,,

as it turns out this year there is no police registration ,,,,,,,

it happened because there was a political uproar ,,,,,,,

automatically Koko failed again to enter the police,,,,,,,

make next year there's a registration ,,,, a, a ,,,,,

just next year koko's age is too late ,,,,,,

it's the last year he could list ,,,,,, this ,,,,,

how about another ,,,,, what ,,,,

if this is beyond our ability ,,,

it could be destiny,,, maybe ,,,,

I finally thought it was impossible for Koko to just be unemployed ,,,

there has to be a way for the future, he ,,,,

but talk Ama who's ,,,,

Ama Toto I've been there,,,,,, I ,,,,,

if my brother can what ,,,,,,, if ,,,,,,

their lives are like that ,,,,,,

one of them yes talk and ask for help with Toto ,,,,,

don't want to dislike ,,,,,,

with a heavy heart I called my brother-in-law Toto I'm sorry about the 'came ,,,,

and I frankly want to ask you one more time to enter Koko to pol PP ,,,,,,,

that's better than her nagging ,,,

because it just so happened that Toto BKO was there ,,,,,

Thank God toto was able and he said tampa dime.,,,,

sure enough, Koko got into the PP pol,,,,

not long ago in pol PP she was dating ana ,,,

and would love to get married ,,,,

the problem is asking for the dowry 16, JT

klo not 16 million not to be married ,,,

oh, my God,,,,,, that's,,,,,,,

what her parents are like,,,,, like ,,,,,

how not to be his behavior like this.,,,,

what is a rich man ,,,,,,,???? is it rank ????

I started to get annoyed with Koko,,,,, from the first bothered me

mulu Bosen's money problem also long ago took care of her ,,,,,,,

while the money used to enter he had not all been returned this already needs funds again ,,,,,,,

hadeuhhhh Koko ,,,Coko,,,,,

make the dizziness , it is usually ,,,,,,,,

I'm calling,,,,,,,, I'm arriving ,,,,,,,

this one day is 7,,,,,,, one day,,,,,,

call me ,,,,,,,, you ,,,,,,,

"wi how about,,,,,, that's,,,,,,,

koko ngukur want to marry for handover money 16 million ,,,,,,,,,

this also does not include default there when nganter Koko,,,,,,

there must be her innate ,,,,, ,,,

mama was complaining she had no money ,,,,,,",

I was horrified that there was a sense of was also afraid that Asiung could be messed up,,,,,,,,, as well ,,,,,,,

"continue to be me ,,,,,"

about his handover it's so much,,,,,,, ,

here is a klo handover of the largest 4jt market,,,,, it is also if not rich people who apply not as much as that at most 1jt,,,,,, that is ,,,,

and usually if up to 4, million of his dowry is usually his daughter a clerk,,,,,,,,

this is a great ask wi emang si Ana work what ,,,,,,, ???? office child ",,,,,

suddenly my mom took her phone while angry angry and anxious to interfere with that,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

I was so scared of my mom that I couldn't bear it so I just said ,,,,

"yes let me try to make the money tomorrow, yes ,,,,",

how do I think I'm ,,,,

means I have to count this malem money so I can send it to mbak kus ,,,

that afternoon I did not leave the room I immediately calculated the income per bendel ,,,,,, I ,,,,,

usually every day the money I get I fold and I put up ,,,,,,

then I cougulins in the closet drawer,,,,, I ,,,,

I usually count them all once a week,,,,,,,, I guess ,,,,,,,

usually every want to deposit to the new bank I count ,,,,,,

like tonight's,,,,,,,, like ,,,,,,

Asiung was surprised to see me in the room just did not come out and then he followed to room ,,,,

I smiled at him

"hmmm pantesan antennas lg counting money basic eyes duitan ",

she said with a laugh,,, she came out and closed her room door ,,

Thank God he didn't go in ,,,,

I'm so free to split the money,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

I'm done counting,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

turns out there's 80, jt more,,,,,,,

I save the 20 JT to transfer to my mother later the rest I put in the giro ,,,,,, I ,,,,

morning at 9,

I went to Danamon to make deposits and transfer to my account mbak ,,,,, you know ,,,,,

"make me transfer already 20jt please love mama for Koko's wedding later:,"

",iya wi ntar I love Ama mama kasian so confused mama thought Koko emang Koko so insolent wi you know not his girlfriend was bunting first aja ask a strange strange,,,,, wi ,,,basic kid doesn't know himself ,,,, he should know we're not rich people ,,,, cave cats wi his behavior you know ,,,,",

my tone of voice really seemed really angry,,,,,,, I,,,,,

",yes it's important mama is not sad kasian klo they have to think on and on ,,,",

I hung up the phone afraid Asiung was horrified

I'm straight to work again ,,,

my day here is so tiring I have to finish the warehouse because I want new goods to Dateng and I have to prepare a place for Dateng klo goods ,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,

I remember that time I was so tired because I just came home with a warehouse machine ,,,,,,

tomorrow I'm going to get 'em,,,,,, tomorrow ,,,,,,

I leaned my body into the chair

I called when Koko wanted her fancy wedding ,,,,

he said the big family does not accept klo only

small little an party of his,,,,,,

she asked her party to be fancy ,,,,,,

I'm confused I'm gonna have to ask for more money later,,,,,,, I'm, I'm kind of confused ,,,,,,,

o Allah there is only one,,,, one, one ,,,,,,

I'm really disappointed by Koko's behavior,,,,,, I'm ,,,,,,

that's why I sometimes like to think they think I'm this.what ????

they think I laid eggs money ,,,,

ask for money is endless how klo Asiung know ,,,,,, how ,,,,,

oh, God,,,,,, God, you ,,,,,,

may all this be over soon,,,,,,,,

I don't want to keep giving them the stolen money,,,,, or ,,,,,,

I myself was bored and bored klo had to lie continuously ,,,,,,,

but if I don't comply with his request, will they help me if I need their help ????

well hopefully later if I need them they'll help me too ,,,,,, 'em ,,,,,

and sacrifice like I sacrifice for them right now.,,,,,,, you know.,,,,,,

it turned out that the hope of what I expected was not in accordance with the reality

even then Koko's treatment of me was painful ,,,,,,,

I was divorced from Asiung,,, ,,

the pain was painful at that time

it just so happened that papa at the time

hospital admission due to stroke,,,,,,

I happen to be taking care of Papa

at that time ,,,,,

after I eat I have a conversation papa ,,,,

I asked ',,,,,, I asked ,,,,,

"why do you arrive can stroke papa think what ?????

what has become of papa's mind burden ,,,,,???",

at that time, he answered with a sad face ,,,,,,,

",that's you know this son of mine ,,,, klo one gather one mill one mingle one mill so keep on when to get along at a gathering together with ,,,,,, when ,,,,,

the parent's mump is still ,,,",

"who said pah ???? my feelings continue Dateng ????,"

yes you are Dateng but your grandfather Koko where to Dateng he said he wants prajantasan ,,,,,,,

boro Boro asked for the blessing of parents even until now did not appear,,,,,,, and,,,,,

I'm tired of looking at the window if there's a motor passing by me.think Koko ,,,,

don't know it's not ,,,",

I'm surprised ,,, pre-service,,,, I can't seem to see papa ya even though the role model is my husband ,,,, his brother-in-law why until so scared ,,,,,,,,, his ,,,,,,

"oh papa kangen Koko huh ,,,,????ntar let me tell my husband to call his commander Koko to be ushered here klo papa kangen

rich don't have to be a mind ",

I saw papa change his spirit look so happy face

not moody like that,,,,,, no, no ,,,,,,

",can you ????said can't come out????, not pass _,"

",papa calm down yes it's my husband's business who is also my husband's pre-service committee really,,,,,,, that's, my husband's business,,,,

so please just calm down for a while Koko Dateng",

I hug papa I kiss his cheeks sad it feels like see papa gini ,,,,,

not long after that Koko comes ,,,,,

I grinned and mixed open I held his head

while saying

",Koko you do not be so attentive papa waiting for you Dateng JD just enter the hospital ",

Tampa suspected my hand in the tank trus in the throw he glared and said cynically

"eh you don't macem macem Ama cave,, that cave is now so PNS ,,,, you think you are who ,,,,,,,,, you ,,,,,,inget you're not rich anymore so don't macem macem Ama cave ",

like in a lightning bolt of pain and disbelief,,,,,, this is the dick that used to look so dear to me ,,,,,,,,, this ,,,,,,,,

adek who used to spend a hundred million cave money,,,,, the,,,

how very rich talk that to me ,,,,,, this is really my adek Koko ,,,,,,, this ,,,,,

,papa was surprised,,,,, I was even more surprised

"You know what Ama is your sister "

",let her know who she is now ,,,,,,!!!!!!!!",

withstanding the overwhelming anger I spoke ,,,,,,

"kok ,,,, I'm sorry it's a poor cave but you realize that you're entering it toto ,,,,,, you know ,,,,

which makes you pre-service also Toto,,,, you do not be arrogant ,,, the most eating treasure cave yes only you ,,,,,"

unexpectedly Koko answered quite cynically and disparagingly,,,,,,,

" oh so,,,,,,, you've already noted if you need to you totalin the cave already gigabyin your money how many hundred million ,,,,,,????? ntar cave pay,,,?!!!!!",

I've been so sick since then that I hated Koko for a moment ,,,,,

there are yes man cardboard rich gini klo no Mandang

papa's sick,,,,,,, papa,,,,,,

have the cave to fuss with this kid ,,,

I had no tears,,,, I took my husband home finally my husband took me home ,,,,,,,

it just so happened that I didn't take our car with us on a motorbike,,,,,, that, that ,,,,,,

when the rain came down finally I let go of my heartache ,,,,,, all the way I cried I cried and I prayed that papa cepet died so that just all have no papa,,,,,,, I pray ,,,,,

I hate people who monopolize papa ,,,,,

I'm also his son,,,,,, I ,,,,

it hurts like this at a time like this

everybody blames me,,,,,, you know ,,,,,

and instead defended Koko ,,,,, and ,,,,

including mama,,,,, that,,,,,

though I'm the one who charges papa at the hospital,,,,, uh ,,,,

is this fair, it turns out that I was just used as their dairy cow from the past until now ,,,,,,,

from being Asiung's wife to being Toto's wife ,,,,,

and I can't protest and get a defense,,,,,,, I can't,,,,,,

it's too much of them,,

along the top of Bogor I cried ,,,,,,,,,, I cried ,,,,,,,,

it's sad to remember that event ,,,,, that ,,,,,

did not feel the tears flowing lg arrived from behind the sound of ,,,,

"well why cry ,,, there's something that makes you sad ,,,,,,",

I was shocked to rush my tears,,,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,,,

I looked towards that voice ,,,,,,,

oh it turns out my husband's gone home ,,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,,,

I was thinking too much about that,,,, until I didn't hear the sound of his car,,,,,, until ,,,,,

o Allah ,,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,,,

and I sat on the porch,,,,, that, that ,,,,,