A Tattered Heart
capter 23 (finished )

seeing this scene I can't bear to have a scratch on my heart ,,,,,

I hate Koko I don't want to be in touch anymore but just as I saw the incident, my heart was so scratched ,,,,,,

I couldn't bear to see his son treating Koko like that, ,,, finally my tears were dripping too ,,,,,,,

I couldn't bear to,,,, not realize I was sobbing,,,, my husband was surprised and turned to me,,,, in my arms and took me beside Koko,,,,,,,, to, by the way ,,,,,

slowly Koko opened her eyes ,,,,,,

a grain of tears drenched his thin, pale cheeks ,,,,,,

his extremely weak hands wanted to reach me and Niko hurriedly picked up the tissue and alcohol and roughly wiped his palms,, I was shocked and very angry

"Niko,,,,,!!! don't miss you,,, let my sister hold me don't need you to clean her hands,,,,,, let my sister hold me ,,,,

you think my grandfather was a carrier of what infectious diseases ,,,,,!!!!

if you feel disgusted do not take care of papa you let bude aja,,,,,,, do ,,,,,

you think it's appropriate for your behavior with the person who has made you exist in this world ,,,!!!???"

everyone there was silent and shocked ,,,,,

including Niko ,,, with a face that doesn't like Niko to answer

"bude thought Niko wanted to be born in the world if she had to experience life like this.,,,,!!!???Niko is ashamed no one ever cares about Niko including papa and mama,,,,, Niko regrets being born if only to accept this pain bude ,,,,??? now Niko has to go where,,,, everyone looks down on Niko all because of the actions of Niko's parents ,,,,,,",

finished saying Niko was crying and squealing it seemed that this child was devastated ,,,,,

I approached Niko I hugged her ,,,, Niko hugged me crying and crying , I and my husband tried to calm my niece

"remember Niko you're not wrong you're not right you're upset and disappointed but the way you treated your papa is wrong, remember no one knows if it was born into this world ,,,, will live like what ,,,, so what ,,,, born where ,, so whose child ,,,,,

we will not know,,, if you do not believe please ask other bude bude , friends, sisters, and people around you ,,,,,

no one knows the beginning of our journey until the end of ,,,,,

just like your father if he may say he regrets being born, but that is the secret of life ,,,,",

all speechless and stunned no one dared to utter a word other than me ,,,,,

looks like Niko took off her hug and said

"thanks bude only buda who can and want to advise Niko only bude who can understand the situation of Niko thanks bude ,,,",

"now apologize to you,,,, don't treat your papa like a vile creature, 'cause he's still a bude's sister ,,,,"

niko walked up to Koko and kissed her hands and hugged her while apologizing,,, it was seen Koko also wanted to talk Isak broke tears we all cried out to ,,,,,

soon Niko lets go of her embrace and apologizes to everyone there ,,,

I approached Koko and stroked her forehead ,,,,

looks like Koko wants to say something but it's so hard for me to get some drinking water and give her a straw so she can drink her water ,,,

after he drank the water his voice began to sound ,,,

very slowly,,,,, though ,,,,,

"pardon me ,,,,,

forgive all the behavior that I have done with the mother Goddess of the family ,,,,

I deserve all this ,,,

if only my time had come ,,,,

I'm ready if I have to go mbak ,,,"

I nodded and said

"do not precede the destiny of all that determines never to precede his will ,,,,"

looks Koko crying ,,, I can't bear to seem like too much she wants to express but can't ,,, that comes out just a cry ,,,,,, which comes out ,,,,,

I understand ,,,,, I know ,,,,

so many hits for the hits he was facing,,,,

honestly, I'm so sorry I saw her ,,,,,,,

however we from childhood live together ,,,,,

"don't be sad anymore mbak has come, , there is no problem that we can't solve as hard as it is,,, you are patient focus the same health ,,,,

oh yes you have eaten,,,,,, you ,,,,

here's a bribe ya ,,,",

I asked because what I heard Koko had been a week not eating ,,,,

looks like he shook his head,,, and asked me to feed him quickly mbak Asih took the porridge that was still warm because it was brought duwi ,,,,,

slowly I fed her ,,,,

slowly the land while telling the unexpected story of porridge in the bowl was exhausted ,,,,

finish eating I take hot water to wipe his face and take drinking water ,,,,,

finished drinking nurse give medicine to drink ,,,,

Thank God today Koko wants to eat again ,,,,,

we start telling stories about small memories first and make us all laugh to look like Koko is smiling,,,, and ,,,,

happiness emanated in the tinge of her pale face ,,,,

until finally the doctor came to check on Koko ,,,,,,

"Alhamdulillah blood pressure and heart is good,,, unlike yesterday,,,, oh yes it seems there is a new face,,,, this mother who pak Koko ,,,,"

my husband and I smiled ,,,,,,

"i'm her older sister doc,,,, we've been 5th never met ,,,"

the doctor nodded and smiled

"it seems like this is what Mr. Koko has been waiting for so far hopefully the presence of mother can make his condition improve ,,,,"

"insha Allah dok tomorrow my sister can go home alone no need to use a wheelchair anymore ,,,, yes ko,,,,",

we all said Amminnn

and it looks like Koko wants to hug me I come up to her and hug her ,,,,,,

there's an unusual feeling, ', just I can't say it,,,,

for me as long as I'm the best I'm willing to ,,,,,,

shortly thereafter mama came ,,, with a sad face to see her eyes glazed with glass ,,,,

"Where is the goddess ,,,,,???"

he walked around groping ,,,,,

I approached her,,,, and hugged her ,,,,

"i'm Dewi ma,,,, how's the news mama's healthy right ,,,",

"i'm like this is the situation, ,,, have you met Koko ,,,????how's the state of her ,,,, Koko, she's been sick for a long time ,,,,"

I sat next to my mom and talked, ',, ever since I came and just got there

"Alhamdulillah thank goodness ,,, actually the key Dewi try from kemaren Dewi tell Dateng definitely Koko not long here ,,,,",

all speechless no one dares to speak,,,,,, no ,,,,,

"yes I hope I'm not too late ,,, Koko also can laugh hopefully not long to go home. and healthy again ,,,"

followed by the word ammin from the one in room ,,,,

I had to not go straight home first to wait until it was conducive ,,,

especially mama who always put the pelt if you talk sometimes provoke others to get upset ,,,,

I told Neno to bring out the cake and the roty and the fruits I brought ,,,,

"nen open the mango is so sweet who knows Koko wants ,,,???"

Neno immediately pulled out the package I had brought earlier in the prepared plate,,,,,

while my other brother helped 'em ,,,,

as soon as I saw the harvest of my fruit neno ,duwi & who had not been to my place screamed little ,,,,

"jeez mam,,, that's a really sweet ni fruit ,,, it sure tastes really sweet it's ,,,"

he raised his guava and showed off it to the other one ,,,

"where du,,, baby I can't see anymore ,,, what a rich color du,,,,,,, I can see,,,,,

try here I kiss her ,,,"

we all look at mom with compassion ,,,,

"this is his mango mam just let his fragrant kiss if his guava does not smell ,,"

duwi gave mango to mama

"who said his guava does not smell exactly fragrant it,, already sweet fragrance seger,,, but it's up to mama who wants which one first ,,,"

mbak pasih said ,,,

" try where his guava loops ,,,"

duwi gives her guava so holding her guava mama startled ,,,

"how big is this guava what crystal ,,,???"

" not that the palace guava name ,,,, water guava also try to bite the manissss really mam ",

mom tried to bite him

once in the chewed look mama enjoying her ,,,,,

" god so much, yeah, ,,, , 'em ,,,,

jambu kok cumles really ,,,

really seger ,,,, the store has been told to try not yet ,,,,,",

"it's Dewi again nyuapin Koko his mango ,, already want to run out again ,,,,"

"let's not just eat mama eat all can also eat a lot of kok enough,, mbak at start ,,,,, can ,,,,

why on the bengong ,,,"

finally they started to eat the fruit and the roty that I brought earlier ,,,,

all look happy ,,,,

Koko also asked for her guava, did not feel the day began the night I said to go home first tomorrow I came again ,,,,,,, no ,,,,,

my older brother already said that from the afternoon he had come home, ,, only I was the last ,,,,

mama told me to come tomorrow ,,, Koko also looks very heavy when I hug her while saying goodbye ,,,,

but because I promised you tomorrow I'd want another Dateng, he'd let me go home ,,,,,

along the way me and papa talked about Koko's condition,,,,,, and ,,,,,

until I finally said my unusual feelings ,,,,

and I let papa be allowed to accompany Koko at the last moment.his ,,,,,

Thank God papa agreed,,, and wanted to take me there ,,,,

now every day I visit Koko and accompany her until night ,,,,

I've been going back and forth to the hospital for a week,,, I, uh ,,,,

koko's condition begins to improve ,,,

doctor is optimistic Koko can go home tomorrow ,,,,

that afternoon we and the family gathered around joking and chatting all looking happy ,,,,

we'll talk after Koko gets home later ,,,,

mama looks so happy ',,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,

Koko started telling a lot of stories and joking ,,,, she even wanted to be invited to my new home ,,,,

"make me want to go to the house mbak ya,,, I want to fish his big enjel brother ,,, want me to burn ,,,"

brother looked pouty and said ,,,,

" oom Koko why should fish brother si ,,, which Laen is a lot ,, take the others aja om ,,, kasian bintil already old ,,,"

"the old man was taken too long to bear the sufferings of life,,,,"

hearing the whole night Koko all laughed ,,, mama also ,, that afternoon we were really happy ,,,

until the doctor arrives and checks Koko's condition ,,,

the doctor called me

" This ma'am is odd to see the physical condition and heart condition is different ,,, from the physical pisikis Pak Koko it is much improved but if the condition of the heart why weakened ,,,,what's with Mr. Koko ya ,,,,"

"dock time from earlier also joking continue dok do not sleep precisely today really look vit dok ,,, even tomorrow we hope to take home ,,,"

I said confused,, the doctor was more confused he went inside and double-checked ,,,,

while the doctor whispered

" the patient yes Bu ,,,, this patient is amazing his spirit but his condition is indeed really weak ,,,,"

" dock is ,,,,???"

the doctor patted me on the shoulder and said,,, I was shocked and very sad my husband was so I looked inside Koko smiling looking at me,,

I rushed in and it was as if nothing had happened,,,,

I understand what my sister did she didn't want my mom to be mad at me and end up blaspheming me.,, she wanted to go with peace in her family ,,,,

I've always fed her favorite fruit and roty ,,,

mama told me a story when Koko was little and then everyone started telling me ,,,

Koko also told me ,,,

all looks calm ,,,,

suddenly Koko spoke unexpectedly

" great seneng if we can continue like this ,,, mama smile all brother , pound me smile ,,,, we tell stories and joke as if not want to part ,mama ,joint with Neno,,,,,,

also niece om ,,, om sorry if om has one,,, here salaman keep kissing om Koko ya ya ,,, that's the sign you really have forgiven om Koko ,,,,"

all were surprised ,,,,, but did not understand ,,,,,,,

they think it's an apology for being happy just ,,,,

and if my husband and I had understood what that meant,,,,,,,, that, that,,,,,,,,

they shook hands and hugged tightly ,,,

until I'm finally the last one,,,,,,,, I'm,,,,,,,

purposely let Koko survive because I haven't hugged her ,,,,

I gave him a token of affection and sincerely forgave him,,, I hugged and kissed his cheek ,,,,

Koko replies to me and begs to leave Niko to me ,,,,,

everybody heard,,,,,, the,,,,

I also told you not to Niko you, mama can also come with me

Koko hugged me and cried, I cried too

my husband is also ,,,,

We and our family are crying too ,,,,

before long he asked bobo ,, and asked to be enveloped ,,,,, and ,,,,

I'm following her,,,,, I ,,,,

shortly thereafter ,,,,,,,

there's no breath of her,,,,,,,,, no ,,,,,,,,

Koko sleeps for ever,,,,, uh,,,,

we screamed and cried ,,,

mama instantly fainted again ,,,,

the once happy atmosphere arrived filled with cries ,,,,,

oh, God,,,, that's ,,,,

so sweet and graceful is the way you call your servant ,,

may you also forgive his sins ,,,,

and put him on your best side ,,,,, and ,,,,

keep him away from the torment of the grave and the torment of the fire of hell ,,,,,,

oh, God,,,,, God, is ,,,,,

may we who are left be given steadfastness and peace ,,,

a month after Koko left ,,,

mama's starting to look unwell ,,,,,

often complain of pain ,,,,

every want to be brought to the doctor always refuses with the reason it is time ,,,,,

we got anxious,,,,, we ,,,,,

it's been a week that mom hasn't eaten the same as Koko kemaren ,,,,

I'm starting to was was,,,, don't let this be a sign,,,,,

but we don't dare to predict ,,,,

let's just go,,, every day we take turns visiting mama ,,,

every day we take turns staying at the house of mama ,,,

tonight it's my turn with my husband ,,,

after praying, my husband and I as usual do zikr and it has become our habit ,,,,

finished me and my husband mama mama screaming screams like a frightened man ,,,,

Neno and joints knocked on my room door ,,,

we both went out of room ,,,,

how shocked I saw my mama's eyes glare ,,,

like an angry man,,,,, like ,,,,,

I began to read the verse of the chair as well as my husband ,,,,

I'm afraid anything happened to my mama ,,,

until finally mom fell asleep and we continued to stay awake in her room until dawn arrived ,,,,,

I heard the dawn prayer and my husband was ready to pray in my mama's room ,,,

it was normal to look ordinary until finally when we read the natural letter nasroh and a short letter piece on Al-Baqarah ,, suddenly my mother screamed again this time louder and more terrible ,,,

Neno and the joints became frightened and approached mama ,,,,

I was unaffected and still finished that reading ,,,,

in the last sentence of my mother's reading directly talk

"forgive me already I'm not strong hot hot, ,, I beg you stop,,,"

we didn't press him I thought it was Satan.just ,,,

we keep finishing her ,,,,

as soon as I'm done I see ,,,

mom crying ,,,,

"Alhamdulillah I was finally able to return ,,, but my time was not long , because too long I was gone ,,,,

my mind and my body have been in their possession for too long ,,,"

the four of us are shocked and confused ,,,,

my mother took my hand, and said

" thank you so much for helping my mom,,, I'm sorry I hurt you too much ,,,,

forgive mama for being so bad for too long with you ,,,

mama regrets to follow too much will, senseless passions, ,, mama is too greedy and shirk with the excess you have ,,, that's because mama doesn't like ,,,, that's because you don't like ,,,,if it turns out you love your papa more,,,,,, you ,,,,,

you love your papa more than mama,,,, you ,,,,

as soon as papa dies mom wants to keep hurting you toying with your feelings ,,,,

though mama knows you're a dutiful boy with all your family ,,,,,

you all treat the same,,,, you,,,

selfish mama mama who hates you ,,,,,

until you're dumped and excommunicated ,,,,

mama who always toying with your heart your feelings to the point of wanting to break your heart as broken her broken ,,,,

I'm sorry I love I'm sorry,,,,,, I, I,,,,

mom please don't hate mama ,,,,,"

after saying so mom left and never came back ,,,,,

my tears really flowed,,,,,, really ,,,,,

I hugged papa ,,,,

papa was crying,,,

I saw the joint and Neno hugged while crying ,,,

we can't keep him ,,,,,, we can ,,,,,

this is the deal he made ,,,,,

just regret and regret why mom did this ,,,,,,

what exactly is 'search,,,,,, what ,,,,,

what exactly did he get,,,,

only the divisions within the family,,,,, which we should be side by side and sharing each other turns out to have to separate and hate each other ,,,,

oh, God,,,,, God, is ,,,,,

forgive me mother servant ,,,,

forgive her mistake ,,,,,

if this is fate let him feel peace there, I beg you to open the door of forgiveness for him,,,, please, open ,,,,

I sat down unable to say the word ,,,

until all my family comes ,,,,

a lot of questions I can't answer ,,,,,

I don't know what to answer ,,,,,,

maybe it's your mama's will or God's destiny with what he's done,,,,,, or,,,,,

all are mysteries and questions ,,,,,

but let only God know what happened to my mother ,,,,,,

finally I could only cry after ,,,,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,,,,

joints are also still crying ,,,,,,

Neno also sat down and was still crying,,,,,,,,,,

only my husband looks strong ,,,,,,

hardcore takes care of all his ,,,,,,

he's tough on answering every question,,,,, he's,,,,,

tough in the face of all trials ,,,,,

facing my problems one by one,,,,,,, one by one ,,,,,,

he's always ready and tough ,,,,,

all the promises when he gets married first he runs it all ,,,,,,

he was always there for me,,,,,, he was ,,,,,

always facing the problems that come to me ,,,

Up to this second ,,,,,,,,

he still stands facing his ,,,,,,,

oh, God,,,,, God, is ,,,,,

thank you for giving a life companion like him ,,,,,

I beg you to protect him,,,,, his heart,,,, his mind,,,,,,,, and his faith ,,,,,

at each step of the ,,,,

thank you god thank you

there is no happiness other than being with my husband ,,,,,,

thank you very much for the gift that God has given you ,,,,,