A Tattered Heart
chapter 10's

Thank goodness ,,,,,,

My day in the new house feels good,,,,,,,, it's,,,,,,,

quiet and away from the crowds of little children who play or cry ,,,,,

this is the perfect place for a really calm and comfortable break,,,,

it does not feel like the beginning of the year has come again ,,,,,,,

means I've been 1th over occupying my new house ,,,,,

and the blessing of this house I began to feel ,,,,,

at the beginning of this year I got a lot of offers for catering,,,,,

I was hesitant to take that offer,,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,,

but it turned out that papa supported me and told me to take it,,,,,,

I started to prepare all the equipment including the vehicle ,，,,

I'm planning on replacing a larger vehicle to support my catering business ,,,,,,,,

because all this time I delivered catering using a sedan car and if many orders can not be transported to a maximum of ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

so I'm planning on swapping out this sedan for a bigger car,,,,, that, that ,,,,,,

at least mini bus,,,, all our klo go back to Java not stack pile also ,,,,,,, all ,,,,,

moreover, this catering order is quite a lot ,,,,,,

a day about 750box sometimes more ,,,,,,,

that's why big vehicles are so necessary,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,,

finally I plan to borrow money to BNI bank with KUR program,,,,,, and ,,,,,

medium to medium enterprises with interest of 0.8% per annum ,,,,,

pretty light ,,,,,

and the process is not so complicated ,,,,,

the time is not too long has melted ,,,,,,

Alhamdulillah

I got a KUR loan at BNI of 250jt,,,,,, I ,,,,,

with one-month installments approximately 6,jt ,an ,,,

finally with that money I could buy a car and pay off the lack of home payments ,,,,,,,,

being a sedan car plan I want to sell and his money to increase his catering capital ,,,,,

because the loan money is no more ,,,,

fortunately the sedan car was then before catering in the beginning so the money can make shopping first because the system is in debt ,,,,

JD his payment is paid off after his contract is completed ,,,,,,

so we have to own capital ,,,,

Thank God ,,, everything can be overcome and smoothly ,,,,,

papa started to take care of the CV that was already so,,,,, and the vehicle was ready ,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

finally the catering began to operate ,,,,,,,,,

pretty much successful prime orders ,,,,,

god's Insha will continue again ,,,,,

the Dewi canteen began to exist in government circles ,,,,

we start holding MOUs with KAMPORA,,,,,

with POLPP

with some PEMDA

but the most promising at that time from POL PP and KAMPORA, the,

Thank God,,,, ever since that time my catering began to be known ,,,,,, , '' ever since ,,,,,,

because it is famous for its cheap price, the portions are many, and it tastes good ,,,,,, and ,,,,,

I'm really grateful for the gift I got,,,,,,, I, I,,,,,,,

I no longer think about the problems my family is causing,,,,, or ,,,,,

it's because I'm so focused on my promising catering business,,,,,,, that,,,,,,

why think about things that I don't think matter.,,,,,,,, for.,,,,,,,

forget it and leave it my principle,,,,,, that ,,,,,

days passed the month changed arrived there was a stray phone turned out to be a phone from mbak I reported that the duwi gave birth again ,,,,,,,

well I think it's been a long time since I've been visiting and telling my family I finally think there's nothing wrong with me coming in with your son,,,,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,

when I came the duwi was a bit surprised and asked,,,,,,

" eehhh mbak Goddess tumben you here,,, dream what cave ,, ,,,, you come here Ama who ??? where are your children alone ???",

he asked like there was no burden in his life ,,,,,

I'm not affected directly I answer,,,,,, I ,,,,,

" yes, I was on my phone so Dateng,,,,, I was ,,,,

son is behind his father ,,,,,,",

finished answering I went up to my other brother to shake hands ,,,,,,

that's where I met mama ,,,,,,

there's an Asih ,,,,,,,, there's ,,,,,,,

and all my sisters got together except Tuty's mom,,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,,

suddenly Asep duwi's husband came while running away ,,,,,

he went in and said ,,,,,,,

"announcement ,,,,,,

mbak Dewi change cars again ???? cool you know the new car yes mbak ,,,, the silent wah mbak Goddess a lot of money ,,,,",

Asep spoke with his hand Noel his wife and immediately laughed a laugh ,,,,,,

"that's mah was already the boss now ,,,, so moving house directly in the remodel continues in goodiin not long buy a new car brags again buy a plane ,,,,",

all my sisters looked shocked and immediately looked at me laughing while brandishing her thumbs ,,,,,

I suddenly said ,,,,,

"wow cool lu wie congratulations ya ,,,,,,",

we all laughed

only duwi's acting so cute,,,,,

"Alhamdulillah ,,, which is important as long as I can make a catering just kok ,, just buy a secondhand fear a lot of actually here and there so I take a new one", I said ",

I said with a smile,,,,,, I said ,,,,,,,

I didn't think the duwi would just talk ,,,,,,,

" yes the cave is also a wonder Ama you mbak ,,, just to build a house,,,,,,, just buy a car ,, don't you mbak ya ", don't you pick up ",

they laughed out loud,,,,,, and,,,,,

my husband and I just grinned ,,,,

I directly chimed in on her ,,,,

"yes the cave ngepet du ,,,,,, rich has no God only ,,,, dapet owes his money ,,,, any money from which ,,,,,,",

the others laughed all over and Duwi sneered ,,,,,

"ah you like it so ,,, low to skyrocket,,, where maybe you owe ,,,

Caves of debtors ,,,,,"

followed the laugh of my older brother's sister ,,,,,,

making the dr mom was in the room so out also go nimbrung,,,,

and then my mom spoke

make all arrive suddenly silent ,,,,,,

"what exactly did Dewi buy a new car ,,,,,??? whereas yesterday he said just built a crazy house gilaan ,,,, wah means a lot of money dong ,,,,,

it's easy to find the money,,,,, I'm so doubtful ,,,, the same that's being accused of him yes ,,,,,,

about her many unexpected events,,,,,, from Arum died she suddenly moved her sales so sweet selling,,,,,,, she ,,,,,

trus now his father who died his trus doing so dapet home directly in building a large amount of,,,,,, not long q kebeli car ,,,,

his sustenance is increased ,,,,,, , instead ,,,,,,

don't let your father's throb the Goddess,,,,,,,, you ,,,,,,,

that means he's not wrong,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

and during Arum Ama your father he was really sincere ,,,,,",

it came to a moment of silence

until finally ,,,,,,,, 'bout ,,,,,,

mbak I said like I was mumbling,,, like, just for himself

"well is not that also time ma,,,,,, indeed, it was destiny time mama's child who will live well only Goddess ,,,,, is ,,,

the thing is from the past it was also a good life only he ,,,,,

try to have no other ,,,,"

I just didn't dare to say what fear was wrong,,,,

I'm going to keep going again,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,,

"it's not the same Asiung also he keeps his life different from us,,, we if not sales yes do not eat ,,,,,"

and welcomed with nods and words

"yes really it is,,, maybe from there it is the destiny of JD the rich ,,,,,,"

and then we talk to the others, ', joking around and laughing like we never were

put it between us ,,,,,

until I finally took a long time to go home ,,,,

I don't want to linger,,,,,,, fear it's not good ,,,,,

on the street my husband and I don't talk about them,,,,,, or,,,,,,

which we're talking about catering tomorrow ,,,,

plan after plan I realized for the success of my catering ,,,,,,, for ,,,,,,

Thank goodness,,,,,,,

the second catering kloter is also completed and successful ,,,

I'm really grateful for ',,,,,,, I am ,,,,,,

this month is like a gift to my canteen ,,,,

days passed the month changed did not feel it had changed another year a year ago full of abundant gifts ,,,,,,,,,,,

suddenly Koko comes to report on the circumcision of her son Niko

the time and the show corresponded to what they were talking about in the duwi house at that time ,,,,,,,,

Koko came to ask for help at the event , Niko circumcision ,,,,,,

I welcome him with pleasure,,,,,,, I,,,,,,

that night I saw how to prepare for his wishes all anter donations,,,,,, and ,,,,,

Tampa deliberately there I met with Bu Nini and Mr. Muslih

we were talking by chance

we connect ,,,,,,, we ,,,,,,

since then, my husband and I

frequent visits, to their house ,,,,,,,

this is where I first met Mr. Yayi my mother's ex-husband ,,,,

long story short I thought of him like my own father I told him all my problems from the beginning and until now ,,,,

from him I know many stories about my old mother and the cause of her divorce ,,,

and I also asked for help to keep my canteen crowded ,,,,,,

Thank God ,,,,,

in the hands of mr. yayi my canteen pretty much survives and catering smoothly ,,,,,,,,

finally if we go back to Java we often visit also to lamongan, East Java ,,,,,,

over there last night I came home from there and I stopped by Tuban at papa's friend's place there ,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,

pretty far on our journey but the best origin for the continuity of the canteen and kept away from the bad guys me and my husband does not matter ,,,,,

though klo thought how many tens of millions of costs I spent ,,,,,

just throw it away ,,,,,

though I want to ask God for help, yes,,,, I realize, but I just keep going,,,,,,, I just need to ,,,,

honestly since I opened the canteen Goddess Sudan quite a lot of psychics and smart people I went to ,,,,,,,

it happened because of my own fear ,,,,

because I think the one who doesn't like the two of us is not just my family and my ex-husband but a rival catering and selling business also needs to be aware of ,,,,

really naive ,,,,,,,

back when I was Asiung's wife I never believed in such an absurd thing ,,,,,,

but since I lived in Bogor especially after getting married to Suroto I was too trusting and instead dabbled and was directly related to mystical things like this ,,,,I'm conscious but it's hard to leave that belief ,,,,,

I think the important thing is that I didn't violate what religion taught me was enough,,,,,,, that ,,,,,

because the principle I hold I'm only treating and keeping my own is not making others suffer,,,,,, is,,,,

and it's been almost years ',,,,, ''and it's been ,,,,,

in fact, my efforts smoothly aja ,,,, but yes it's a problem that arises it is in the employee employees no one feels at home in and out and on ,,,,,

if the cafeteria again came catering again smoothly arrived the employee at the request to stop work ,,,,,,

later klo employees many deserted canteens catering mampet so continue to dizzy looking for people pinter ,,,,,,

until one day I got word that my mom was in Bogor where Tuty's mom,,,,, was, uh ,,,,,,

I went there but until there I did not open the door I gedor door and window of the house tatep mbak Tuty did not open door ,,,,

until I finally peeked out of the window next to the house I saw there was a mama, Ririn, her husband ,on waking up but he was confused when they came to me we saw a lie but they still did not open the door ,,,,

until I finally said

"yeah klo not accepted to visit us to go home just let sin be borne by itself., he already we go home ,,,,"

we just opened the door ,,,,,

as soon as we enter we are all curious as to what kind of face they see us outside. wet wet wet wet wet,,, because it just so happened to rain ,,,,

it turns out the dislike and indifferent face of mama, and all her ,,,,

"i just wanted to see my mom I'm sorry that Dateng was not rude last night was jammed amazing ,,,,"

mbak Tuty cuek and mama are even more cynical until I want a shaman he wants ,,,,,

even if I give you money

at her rejects ,,,,,

I cried when I came home I was sad sorry to have met them ,,,,,

sorry to have found out my mother that my presence only caused me heartache ,,,,,,

after the event passed Asep came maen to the canteen ,,,,

I told you about the experience of not wearing that with asep ,,,,

he said ,,,,,, he said ,,,,,

"indeed, among the other sisters of the Goddess, only Tuty could not be calm and happy to see my situation as it is now ,,,,,,"

looks like he feels like he's outranked ,,,,,,,

even want more than I can get ,,,,

in every way,,,,,,, the,,,,,,,

until he finally got it, he got it,,, he, he got it,,,,

even if not for long ,,,,,,,

and he's a lot richer than me. -,,,, he's got 3 cars and 'billion-dollar savings,,,,,,,, he's got ,,,,,

amazingly,,, I was actually amazed ,,,,,, I was ,,,,,,

so easy he got all that,,,,,,, it's ,,,,,,

but I don't want to

Asep also told the story of the business clo that he runs with his new husband is opening a fictitious college ,,,,,,,, where ,,,,,,

he can issue a pilgrimage even if his students do not come can still participate in graduation ,,,,,

the important thing is to be able to pay the money that has been determined as a deal,,,,,, or,,,,,

they can choose the majors they need ,,,,,

it's all there,,,,, it's, it's all there is,,,,,

ohhhh from there it turns out that Tuty dapet his money ,,,,,,,

there's Tuty J. D. his treasurer

automatically the money he who manages ,,,, just enough his money a lot of,,,,,,, just,,,,

that's the riddle answer why ,,,,?????

it's so different from my career,,,,,, it's, like, it was,,,,,,

if I'm looking for

sustenance is full of sweat droplets and tears ,,,,, new can hold a lot of money ,,,,,,,,

but it's none of my business to let it go,,,,,,, it's,,,,,,

klo according to her it can make her feel satisfied ,,,,,,,

the important thing is not that I'm enough,, and yet it's none of my business,,,,, anyway ,,,,

for me they don't interfere with my life, they make me happy ,,,

ever since the events and news from Asep I have received I have been out of touch with my extended family for a long time ,,,,,,

I'm getting further and never getting together or trying to get them ,,,,,

too sick to coexist with them ,,,,,

I'm not connected but not as hostile as I used to be when you were alive ,,,,,,,

but it's not good either ,,,,,

.especially after I heard that the donation that I gave with Koko during the Niko circumcision first he said in the throw ,,,

because they're afraid the party's gone awry for accepting a donation from me,,,,,,,, for,,,,,,,

especially when cooking

so to avoid that fateful event ,,, goods from me they throw away ,,,,,,

but it turns out that God showed,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,,

if I wasn't that bad ',,,,,, the baso that I made Tampa was deliberately put in the soup for the buffet ,,,

and it was only known at the end of the show they were shocked but they believe that in the shaman's talk was wrong it turned out that nothing happened on the show it was all good just fine ,,,,

even the family all ate ,,,,,

but yes it's just know boro boro apologize for the evil ma satep aja evil ,,,,,

that's why I decetin is of no use,,,,,,, for,,,,,,

until a lot of important events happened in my extended family ,,, I got word later too ,,,,,,

turns out to be ,,,,,,, it turns out ,,,,,

mbak Tuty is divorced with her second husband,,,,,,,, and,,,,,,,,

and soon the campus business he founded was disbanded ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,

because his case was raised ,,,,,

and there's a lot to talk about

even to the news on tv,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,

his life is automatic as it used to be ,,,,,,,,,

there's money but it can't be wahhh,,,,,,,, it can't be,,,,,,,,

one car on sale even heard he was dragged into his case too and had a chance to deal with the police ,,,,

it's not the kind of thing I know and hear about my brother Tuty,,,,,, that, that ,,,,,,,

early the next year,,,,,,, the,,,,,

Asep the husband of my grandfather Duwi died ,,,,,

her freak died her impromptu ,,,,,

tau tau went home from work to the ER and was treated two days straight died ,,,,,,

automatically Duwi life is also destroyed ,,,,,,,

he's like the water on a taro leaf tossing around for no purpose,,,, house doesn't have ,,,,,,,,,, no purpose ,,,,,,,

little kids all the baby right ,,,,,,

I was going to nolongin him but like his duwi shut myself up for me please,,,,,,,

not even friendly at all ,,,,,,,

not long after Asep died ,,,,,,,

suddenly my mother sold her house in Lampung,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,,

the house I built was sold to my knowledge ,,,,,,

you know you've moved to Bogor,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,

I was disappointed that it was my house that was built from before I married Asiung until I got married,,,,, to be that good

but ,,, why is it so sold I am not told even I shunned it from others ,,,,,

obviously I'm angry and disappointed I don't want to ,,,,,,

worse is time

repayment of the house I was not told let alone take there ,,,,,,,,

they diem kemupung use Tuty car,,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,

at that time Tuty's car was still one ,,,,

the news that I heard my house sold for 350 million,,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,

I think it's natural to be good

but its location is also in the countryside away from the big city ,,,,,,,,,

the price of that is so expensive it fell ,,,,,

it's just a pity why don't you talk to me,,,,, should talk or tell me I'm ,,,,,,,,,, should be ,,,,,,,

though all my brothers also know that klo is home ,,,,

I'm the one who's made,,,,,, I'm the one who's ,,,,,,

not even one of my brothers cares when your mom's house is so worried

but once the house is sold all busy,,,,,,,

suddenly I was called by my mother to tell me to come to Koko to take part of the house ,,,,,,, say ,,,,,

I came there,,,,, I, I ,,,,,

but before that I talked to my husband ,,,,,,

and my husband said ,,,,,

"if your inheritance is given, take, ,, , , 'you do not take it is what your family expects ,,,,,

let's go a little more than dapet dapet at all your family's cunning ,,,,",

the end of it came with my husband

mom came out of the room

mom Directly said

",wi Rumah Lampung is selling this part of you, because you take care of the son of Wiwin so your part can be two,,,,,,,,,, because,,,,,,,

here's the money there's ,20million ,,,,,

one kid 10million ,,,,,,,

you count ,,,,,,"

one kid 10million ,,,,

not wrong this is part of selling a house,,,,,,,

I'm shocked and can't believe it but I can do what 'mama is for ',,,,,,,,, I can do ,,,,,,,,

I remember my mother saying again

",this is after I give you part of the plan I want to find a land that is at least 1000 meters wide,,,,,,, I want to find a land that is at least 1000 meters wide ,,,,,

he said your brother wants to come and buy some land ,,,,,

their plan was to get a 100-meter section,,,,

since you've taken your share,,,,,, you,,,,

so you don't get any more land ,,,,,",

clearly and steadily mama said so ,,,,,

trus klo like this I have to say what ,,,???

my mom never thought about my feelings at all

now I'm starting to understand

mama was cunning not want to be involved in his process but he wanted to get the results of his ,,,,

all this time that's what he's been doing ,,,,

making papa hate me pitting me against my brother ,,,,,

the events of decades ago are imagined again,,,,,,, the,,,,,

when I was pregnant chia and I was put first in the house mama ,,,,,,

mama made me scolded papa ,,,

and mommy is also the one who took papa kebogor to leave me ,,,,,,,, to ,,,,,,

and who says the problem of shamans and witchcraft I'm sure it's also mama's,,,,,,, this ,,,,,,

mama never changed ,,,,,

I can't believe the man I respect turns out to be a ferret in sheep's hair ,,,,,

and as natural as it would be if I could start hating her ,,,,,

which makes me wonder and inexhaustible ,,,,,,,

why as much as I hate to see my mom cry and complain still I can not bear,,,, and change kasian ,,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,

and mama knows my weakness ,,,,

because every mama wants to ask for help ,,,,,,

that gun he's playing with ,,,

always crying, hugging as if so precious was me in her eyes ,,,,,,,

looks so dear to me ,,,,

he said it was beautiful,,,,,, he said ,,,,,

but if his problems are solved he turns as evil as ever ,

stupid time and not keeping my feelings ,,,,, 'em ,,,,,

just like yesterday after giving money 20jt,,,,

he cried and complained he said his money ran out even though he had not bought ceramics ,,,,,, , ' he said ,,,,,,

finally ask for help I told anterin to buy ceramics , ,,,,,

buyin clothes,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,

buyin kitchen necessities ,,,,,,

but all I pay ,,,, , 'em ,,,,

if there's more money I'm kicking ,,,,

but so have no money ,,,

moaning and crying her to me ,,,,,,

good thing my husband Toto is good not vengeful ,,,,,,

always follow what I want ,,,,,

but not a year ago my mom moved to Bogor her life was very concerned ,,,,,,

if I don't give you good food rarely eat good ,,,,,,

denger curhatan said his money spent Tuty same Koko, now mama's life so all difficulties ,,,,,,,, now ,,,,,,

and I have sustained much of his difficulties and shortcomings

her body is now thin not to the ,,,,,,,,

often sick,,,,,, that,,,,,

I can't bear it even though the behavior of my family and my mama was so outrageous ,,,,,,,,

I never get back at her every time they need me,,, I'm always welcome,,,,

although thereafter

my labor is not at all ,,,,,

until one day in the middle of the year

I get the catering that can

lots of his 1000box a day,,,,,,

I tried to offer

my brother made a helping hand ,,,

Thank God they want them to work in my place 10 days ,,,

all smooth and successful

so happy I can succeed in his good cooking ,,,, nganterin his food ,,,,,,

until his payment,,,,,,,

that's why I promise,,,,, that's why,,,,

to hijab because of Allah ,,,,,,,

arriving when they all say home a me anyway 700rb, except mama 1,5jt, mama,

my day has helped my family so much ,,,,

even though they still do not like me but since my mother moved, I want to be met often ,

since papa died like the truth began to unfold ,,,

the evil one looks his evil that's cunning looking ,

and my brother's life is all having economic hardships,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,

and it's weird that almost all divorced mama's kids who don't get divorced are just my oldest and youngest brother ,,,,,,

the last one to get divorced was Koko Sama Ana ,,,,

and the most suffering and complicated full of problems was divorce Kokok same Ana too ,

Koko and the first boy are now with mama,,,,,,

while his ex-wife occupies the house he built first - ,,,,,,,

my mother's suffering is increasing

badly he had to feed 3 children and grandchildren

,by relying on the pension papa only 1jt ,,,,

it's a ,,,,,,,, it's a ,,,,,,,

because pity mama if you have to take care of yourself so every Sunday I supply of money, food, rice , soap, ration for mama's needs I prepared 3jt/month ,,,,,,,,, ration ,,,,,,,

,but everything I did to her did not make her conscious and grateful ,,,,,

it even considers reasonable because it is the obligation of the child to parents,,,,,,,

but all I have to do is I'm not with my other brother ,,,,,,

my position is still the same if I need only ,,,,

but I can't get angry or hurt the same they are mainly the same mama,, ,,,,,,

that there is a sense of kangen continues the same mama ,,,,,

innate her can not bear even though her behavior is the same I sometimes very very late,,,

I once asked my husband I was either too kind or STUPID,,,,,,,

because since my mom moved to kebogor I'm crazy crazy you know help finance and mama needs,,,,, I pretty much spent money for mama

until one day in November klo not wrong on 9November I was taken to the boarding school in Cianjur ,,,

departing from home at 12,malem

get there at 6am

meet the hajinya sir at 5; 'afternoon ,,,,

I didn't want to but bang is and papa forced me to go there,,, and lied to want to do my son enjel ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

I finally want a,,,,,, I want to ,,,,

short story to arrive

the part I made in the massage they said si ,

but I said it was in ruqiah,,,,,, I said,,,,,

I sat down to rest

at first it's normal,,,,,,,, it's ,,,,,,,

as soon as the hand

god is sick,,, it's amazing,,,,,,,, it's ,,,,,,,

because I've been in ruqiah too so I know how to ',,,,,,, I know ,,,,,,

I did not scream and scream in pain but I was aghfar ,,,

tears flow so hard ,,,,

but there was no sound of crying,,,,

the pain is more incredible than I used to feel ,,,,

on the feet moreover,,,,,,, in,,,,,,

I got to thinking

god may be like this when he takes his life

her pain was incredible ,,,,,

his name is crying it's just tears that continue to melt without a sound ,,,,

it hurts,,,,,, ''bout ,,,,

while treating the Hajj sir Yah Ya that his name said ,,,

"this mother's disease was 10 years ago,,,,,,, she was,,,,,

it's been a long time,,,

stack this stack ma ,,,

luckily I like to pray ,,,,,,,,,

try if it's not ,,,, it's ,,,,

must have been past ,,,,

grateful that you can still survive and finally how to help ,,,",

papa was silent while nodding a nod ,,,,

it just so happened that there was my son

and the Asih 'bak, ,, the ,,,

they're all shocked

",fortunately his father was patient yes facing the mother , asal sir Suroto know that there is in the body of the mother 99%,,,,,,,, the%,,,,,

it's not him,,,,, so sometimes it's just that he's also ,,,,,, so, sometimes ,,,,,,

sometimes really,, sometimes not klo father less patient already destroyed his household long ago,,, maybe also because it was a mate yes sir ,,"

papa nodded

and said

"Alhamdulillah_,",

" but calm sir all we can treat with God's help, 3 days later come here ma'am

this I have not been able to clean all the fear of her mother is not strong insa Allah,,,, not long can also be clean and normal again ,,,,,",

once it's cleared I feel my body is light ,,,,,

I feel healthy ,,,

my mind starts to get me to control any anger if papa doesn't like me to be quiet ,,,,,

Thank God ,,,,,

finally it's the third day I come again ,,,,

still amazingly sick of her ,,,

this even more feels like something is coming out through a big, long head,,,,, that ,,,,

and my feelings began to really calm and comfortable different before I was cleaned there was always less and less ,,,,

I was told by Dateng again in a week

ten days,,,, there's more,,,,,,,, there's,,,,,,,

in 2 weeks, there's just been,,,,,,, there ,,,,,,,

Alhamdulillah now lives once a month ,,,,,

every time I'm treated, there's always a change in me ,,,,

I became more diligent in praying ,,

as soon as it felt my body had started to clean to take care of it

the Hajj teaches guidance in religion and how

the life after we die,,,,,, the ,,,,,,

it all adds to my almost faded religious insight ,,,,,,,

I was told to recite and memorize the Qur'an,,,,,,,, and,,,,,,,

mr. Hajj made me closer to God and afraid to break his rule ,,,,

Thank God my prayers are good, my daily prayers are good ,,,

Thank God that we and our families live more blessed lives,,,,, and ,,,,,

maybe this is the real guide ,

,

test after test I went through with confidence and patience making God love me ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

at the end of March my faith and devotion were tested again ,,,,,

,

it was with economy, old man, religion, brother, for this time God tested me through my husband,,,,,,, for, my husband ,,,,,,

it's reunion season

SMA , SD, SMP,,, has been trending in that year ,,,,,,,,,

I never forbid my husband to join any group even my old HP replaced with HP that Android ,,,, ,,,,,,,

I never limit my friends,, please

I believe in her I think she was patient and always took care of me when I was sick ,,,,,

why don't I repay her kindness ,,,,,,,

I've never copied his phone again ,,,,,,,,,

after the events of ten years ago ,,,,,,

I believe in the loyalty of my husband -,,,,,,,, and my husband is no longer young

until finally it happened ,,,,,,

that afternoon I ate if I wasn't wrong at 2 o'clock,,,,

suddenly my husband called me,,,,,,, my, my ,,,,,,

asking the child has come home yet??????

I had a little chat with his ,,,,,,,

then suddenly she hung up on her phone,,,,,, she ,,,,,

because I was eating I was lazy to hang up his phone back ,,,,,,

I continue eating,,,,,, I ,,,,,

so the phone I let's keep on connecting ,,,,,,

Tampa allegedly I heard a woman's voice in Javanese ,,,,,,,

but her voice was spoiled and flirtatious ,,,,,,,,

make me suddenly stop eating ,,,,,,,

because I was curious to arrive I took his HP

I stick it in my ear,,,,,,, I, I ,,,,,,,

my curiosity suddenly appeared ,,,

while holding back anger,,,,,, jealousy,,,,, and disappointment ,,,,,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,,,

I followed the conversation through to the end of ,,,,,,,,

until I finally found out that it was her ex-boyfriend in solo first ,,,,,,,

there's a heartache ,,,,,,,, ,

angry ,,,,,,,,,

and jealousy,,,,,, and, uh ,,,,,,,

it's clear and real ,,,,,

I'm confused how to ,,,,??????

am I waiting for him to come home ????

or did I call directly ?????

I began to think my heart and my feelings weren't out of ,,,,,,

right behind this I often see the strangeness of my husband,,,,,,,, I see,,,,,,,,

install your own profile photo ,,,,,,,

always stay away from me if you pick up the phone,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,,

Hp is rarely put on the table always in the cantongi,,,,,,,,,, the,,,,,,,,,,

day of the day is always the HP that he Oprek ,,,,,,,,,

I was suspicious when she posted the photo alone

but I think he's a fad times.,,,,,,,,

turns out this was the answer to his strange habit of ,,,,,,

because I'm not strong anymore ,,,,,, I am ,,,,,

I called papa

"who was that????",

ketuaku

",which one ??oh uh that's a friend"

her response was nervous I felt fear in her tone

",your ex-boyfriend isn't a ,,,,, a, uh ,,,,

what do you mean,,,, you want to cheat on me ,,,,

oh that's how you repay what I've sacrificed all for you,,,,, that's how you,,,,",

"it's better we just split up,,,,,, we're ,,,,,

finish me first after that it's up to you what you want,, I so hate the same you reward ",

",sorry sorry I'm sorry I came home",

not long after that he went home to the cafeteria,,,,, and ,,,,,

arriving at the canteen papa apologized and kneeling before me I did not care anymore ,,,,

I just want us to separate ',,,,,, I ,,,,,

she hugged me and (sorry) I spat in her face I was really disgusted to see her face ,,,

so low was he in my eyes ,,,,

I'm disappointed ,,,

Hp I confiscated and I immediately entered the group High School ,,,,

I talked and said my husband's klo mending got kicked out of the group because because because he joined the group he was cheating on,,,,,,,,, because ,,,,,,,

and back in touch with his ex, ,,, and ,,,,

I don't care if there are some people who are angry,,,,,,,, some people are angry ,,,,,,,,

fool I thought,,,,, I lost control,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

and some don't like ',,,,,,, uh ,,,,,,,

and some blaspheme me,,,,,,,,, someone,,,,,,,,,

I don't care if what I'm doing is going to destroy your self-esteem

I keep tracing all his friends friends I asked for his ex phone number and his ex's name it turns out he was named ARI but make his phone no he love remains hidden ,,,,,,,,,, and so on ,,,,,,,

maybe he knows what my anger would be like if I had spewed out ,,,,,,,

Hp I slam me on a stampede,,,, I'm really angry ,,,,,

once upon a time for decades I endured and tried to be patient ,,,,,

it turns out you're repeating your habit of spreading charm,,,,,,, you,,,,,,

even this is already an outrageous ,,,,,

you're starting to dare play the fire of romance behind me ,,,,,,

it feels like I want to claw the claw on the face of that woman's affair ,,,,,,

berati pas papa disat to malang he has been dating ARI

ex he's ,,,,,

it hurts so bad ,,,

apologies don't mean, either ,,

,ever since then I've been lazy to talk and I always insinuate him ,,,,

looks like he's shy and stressed

his HP's falling apart ,,,

,I don't care

no hp replaced the new no old I destroyed ,,,,

I'm really DISAPPOINTED,,,,,,, I,,,,,,

many times he kissed my feet,,,,,, he ,,,,,

begging me,,,,,, to ,,,,,

but this heart door is closed

but at Suroto's birthday,,,,, I thought I'd like to give you a gift,,,,,,, too ,,,,,,

because

as much as I hate with him still can't bear to see his HP broken because I ,,,,,

I'm planning to buy him a new HP ,,,,,

kasian also klo pake Hp broken ,,,

sure enough as soon as I love her she's really cool,,,,,,,,,, she's,,,,,,,,

that's what I always try

to give my best to everyone closest to me

even if he has incised a wound on an old wound ,,,,,,

her incredible pain

but I have to admit for decades,,,,,,,,,, that,,,,,,,,,

only he has accompanied me all this time in grief during my troubles ,,,,,,

even though this is the case because I married him,,,,,,, this is,,,,,,

but I also realized he was also the one who had returned my religion which I had left behind ,,,

he gave me the best choice to go back to deciding what religion I should belong to,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,

a lot of consideration I have to do,,,,,, uh,,,,,

right he's wrong but not the least bit of kindness he's given to me as long as I'm his wife,,,,,, that,,,,

he repeatedly said thank you ,,,,,

and many times apologizing for the mistakes he made yesterday ,,,,,,

I smile I wipe her tears,,,, I smile and nod a sign of her apology ,,,,,

we both hugged but

why the bland taste I feel ,,,,,,

it turns out my heart is still not sincere,,,,,,, it's,,,,,,

god help me,,,,,, God ,,,,,,

the day began to normal again arrived our time in the shopping market papa showing off the video he recorded from the city hall that afternoon ,,,,,,,

I saw many PP pols who had gymnastics together there was a mayor and his representatives jogged along with ,,,,,,,

at first I was ordinary but what I saw was that I started to be intrigued to ask because there happened to be some video ,,,,,,

this is where the reward ,,, is, from ,,,,

oh that's what sent me the PP pol,,,, this too and this clo I made the video ,,,,,,,,,, this ,,,,,,

I look at them one by one,,,,,, I see ,,,,,,

I'm starting to see his friend's submissions, it's natural that nothing's stuck ,,,,,,

the other is also the same ,,,,,

but the videos you made were full of videos of girls doing gymnastics at work,,,,,,,,

just me a week we

having a difficult time

where I feel you're a betrayal

now you repeat again spread the charm with every woman,,,, I will not let this bad habit of yours

will break my heart again ,,,, won't ,,,,

and the events that make the loss of patience happen again.,,,,

this is the phone call with Srikandi's son pol PP long time really no matter what in the talk,,,,,

I started taking my husband's phone and copying him ,,,,,

I'm really fed up with going to his ganhenan ,,,,,

long time ago I was males constantly made jealous ,,,,

I'm determined to just walk away from papa's life ,,,,,,,

house, car, handbag please take me no matter,,,,,,,,,,, please,,,,,,,,,

the important thing is I'm out of her life ,,,

that afternoon it happened to be a deserted cafeteria I wrote a letter and I tucked it into the employees,,,,,,,,,, I wrote,,,,,,,,

I went home to,,,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,,,

but I lost fast with her ,,,,

he got home first ,,,,, he ,,,,

at the house I just entered he immediately hugged me and apologized

he swore he would never repeat his deed and his habit ,,,,,,,

I don't care if it's been my determination,,,,,, I don't care,,,,,

I have to go I'm not strong enough to face the habit of spreading charm ,,,,,,,,

if only my family or my children were disappointed ,,,,,,

I had no effect on me but this,,,,,,,,, this, this,,,,,,,,

my husband, who I've been leaning for all this time, is,,,,,, that's where I'm leaning ,,,,,,,,,

and shelter ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,,,

but he's already betrayed my trust,,,,,,,,,, he did,,,,,,,,,

don't expect me to believe it again,,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,,

", i have not done enough to lose my confidence and self-esteem,,,,, I do not expect you to once ,,,,,, after that event I. Thought you changed it was not,,,,,,,, I thought,,,,,

you always spread the charm of all the women you meet

and that's all you do consciously and deliberately ,,,,

you know I don't like it but still you do ',,,,,, you know, you do what's sorry,,,,,",

nervously and regretfully he hugged me who sat down ,,,,,

kissing my feet again as if it were really a sorry person ,,,,,,

"mah,,, I promise you, mah ,, I promise I won't be so again ,,,, if I break my wretched , won't survive the afterlife ,,,, , sorry mahhhhh sorry ,,,by God,,,, papa promise_,"

",not that a week ago you promised me a reward, too, you always promised but your eyes can't be silent when you see a woman ",

I kept getting her clothes done she pulled my hand and said",,,,,,,

"if you don't want to excuse me, I,,,, you, you ,,,,,,

all right don't mama go ,,,,,,, no ,,,,,,

let me just ,,,,",

papa will leave as soon as papa will come out the door of the house ,,,,,

I directly said

" yes this is exactly what you want you want to follow ARI right because she is now a widow,,,,, I know you really want this to happen ,,,,, ''cause she's now a widow ,,,,

yes already gone there is the despicable woman who has been waiting for you, , just meet him",

papa stopped and turned his back and hugged me again ,,,,,

he rebuked and apologized, ', I just kept quiet

he took the gun and then he stuck it on his temple saying

",kalo mama don't want to forgive me for mending me to die aja mah ",

while ready to pull the trigger ,,,,,,

I was immediately startled and angrier ,,,,,

",every loser is cornered because of problems you make yourself would want to kill yourself or kill people always the gun that became the weapon ,,,,

it could threaten people using a gun,,,,, if it's really wrong it must be his thinking and introspection not want to win alone",

I sat down crying toto also sat down crying ,,,,,,

I hate it so much with Toto,,,,, I ,,,,

lost my sense of pride in him , , which there is hatred and to the disgust of Deket Toto

o Allah to the extent that I hate my husband ,,,,

but I keep harboring this hatred that there are children who are victims of child abuse,,,,,, and ,,,,

finally I helped papa wake up and I hugged him ,,,,

once again I forgive her mistake ,,,,,,,

oh, my God,,,,, that's, uh,,,,,,

so sinful was my servant that so many trials I had to pass

o Allah I am ready to accept your test but I beg you to help me to complete it ,,,,,

Tampa intervenes you servant is not who,,,, who, is,,,,

I am only a weak and despicable being who is incapable of thinking with the wise Arif there ,,,,,

in every prayer I always cry

and plead that God never forsake me ,,,,,,,,,

problems started to arise from my little family ,

now from papa,,,,, now ,,,,

whether the child will also make me cry and test my faith and my fear again ,,,,,,

only God is all-knowing because He wrote his story ,,,,,,,,