A Tattered Heart
chapter 12's

It's been a month papa at home every day helping out in the cafeteria while waiting for placement,,,,,

seneng it feels like sales are cemented papa from morning until night,,,,,,, papa,,,,,

klo afternoon we go home looking at home together ,,,

since then, we have rarely had a fuss or disagreement

it could even be said never

and ever since my father came home I rarely visited my mother,,,,, or ,,,,,

this is not the first reason I have been disappointed since I was left with my husband's education for a month no brother of mine has come to visit me or to ask about my health ,,,,,,

especially when I'm in the cafeteria

only my son is always with me ,,,,,,

the four of us were panting in the canteen ,,,,,

sometimes close the cafeteria at 1mlm we four go home,,,,,,,, the four of us,,,,,,

as if no one cared about my situation and my son was not my brother,,,, papa brother or any of the old papa's men,,,,,,,, or,,,,,,

I honestly doubt the kindness of all of them,,, there is a particular disappointment with my family,,,,,, no, no,,,,,

I'm not like this without cause ,,,,,,,,

compared to my husband's brother

my brother most often asked my husband for help either energy, or food and money,,,,, or ,,,,

it's only natural that my husband's brother doesn't care ,,,,,,,,,

they never once bothered me and my husband ,,,,,

that's why I didn't want to come visit my mom,,,,,, that's why.,,,,,,

moreover, bring by by in the form of food or money ,,,,

a week to get there can be 3 or 4, that's the innate we always have a lot of ,,,,,,,

the feeling of klo a bit long not there kangen amazing ,,,,,

even if I have been wronged as to my mother and brother,,,,,,, as,,,,,,

it's hard to stay away from them,,,,,, that ,,,,,,

if you give to my mom and brother crazy crazy ,,,,,,

if now it is normal and ordinary even if the husband forbids me to give thanks,,,,,,, even if the husband forbids me to give ,,,,,

even giving money as soon as I asked my husband how much to love

different from before I was taken to the pesantren ,,,,

I can give you money to say first and then say,,, love meat, chicken, rice, or any need to say first and then say, ,,,, or ,,,

which still can not be solved every time I come home from my mother and husband must have a fight ,,,,,

sometimes it's just a trivial matter,,, we can make a big fuss and along the way not reprimand each other ,,,,,, ,,

and it happens every time you come home from your mama's house,,,,, and ,,,,,

one day the Hajj sir forbade me to eat when I go to my mama's place,,,,

so if told to eat do not have to be eaten ,,,,,

I tried his advice ,,,,,, I ,,,,,

and sure enough just coming home from your mama's house just ,,,,,, 'em ,,,,,

sometimes we even feel that mom is not really sincere with me

it often happens,,,,,,,, that ,,,,,,,,

it's not even uncommon for me to see my mom pinch my brother's or my sister's hand while we're talking,,,,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,

I myself have been offended and sometimes angry ,,,,,,

long-term I didn't come to her house ,,,,,

but one day I broke my eating mama's food once we came home all the way we fought ,,,,

already at home also still continues ,,, it is true that we and the family are like enemies,,,,,,, it is,,,,

the more I come here the more I notice ,,,,,,,, the more ,,,,,,,,

my little family is more harmonious if I don't visit my mama's house too often,,, weird ,,,,

it's even more strange if we run out of having an event with his example of alms or eating dinner at his home mama,,,,,,,,,,

surely not long later well at most two days later or at that time we will have a big storm with a brother either brother or sister and it has been proven many times I ,,,,,,,, and so on ,,,,,,

for that I so think maybe what the Ajengan said a lot of meaning depends on its ,,,,,

yes, it is true that only prohibits eating but from food it can be

a tool for stirring our emotions into anger ,,,,,,

oh God, so much of my mother's influence in my life.,,,,, you know.,,,,,

but why not with the other ,,,,,

all my brothers ate there even stayed overnight but their lives were ordinary ,,,,, they lived ,,,,,

with their brother getting along well it's just me that they often make noise ,,,,,,

that's what sometimes makes me decide to stay away from my mama's life and even this is asserted by the Ajengan ,,,,,

until one day I was going to put my firstborn in a boarding school,,,,,, or,,,,,

while waiting for STSN registration to open ,,,,

kasian also if I have to be in the cafeteria just help me,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,

all of you want to instill discipline and good worship

hopefully with the environment of people of good religion,,, can be my son also good ,,,,,,, can be ,,,,,,

I wish my son could be more mature and his worship is better than ever,,,,, ,,,,

I choose the best boarding school in my opinion ,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

we went from Bogor to Cianjur

early in the morning along the way I advised my son to study well and diligently ,,,,,,

Alhamdulillah

when I got there I was greeted by Hajj ma'am,,,,,,, I was greeted ,,,,,,

I chatted for a moment and expressed the meaning of my coming here,,,,,,

Hajj ma'am happily welcomed my intention ,,,,,,,,

finally I'm sending my son to Hajj ma'am,,,,, I ,,,,

that looks so good,,,

at first, as soon as we were going home, my son wanted to come home

"lho brother, would you like to study here, why come home ,,,,????

don't be so big sister's Haji mom and sister's friend friend waitin ,,,,???",

at first the sulking sister did not want to stay,,,,,

she ended up crying,,,,,,

I persuaded her and gave her understanding so she could understand,,,,,

"but mama promised once a week Dateng ya ,,,, look brother ,,,"

"yes where the promise of a good sister yes don't be naughty kasian mama if sister is naughty,,,"

brother hugged me a long time ago ,,,,,

and finally kissed me and ran upstairs to her room,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,

honestly it's hard to let go of a very dear child ,,,,,,

there is a deep sense of loss

but for the sake of his future I must also be able,,,,,,,, to,,,,,,,

Thank God my son can be released and we can go home quietly ,,,,,,,, we can ,,,,,,,

all the way home, I begged my son

adapt and get at home there,,,,

hopefully I will be a better person

Alhamdulillah

sisulung at home there.

it does not feel 6not passed ,,, registration time opened next month ,,,,,

my son called for a pick-up ,,,,,

he asked permission to go home ,,,

and Hajj ma'am allows,,,,,, to,,,,,

that afternoon my son came home to Bogor I saw a lot of changes that happened ,,,,

from the way of dress and the habit of every end of prayer directly teach,,,, and even in dress she chose clothes in the form of a long skirt,,,,,, and even in dress ,,,,,

all the trousers he doesn't wear anymore,,,,,,, he's wearing,,,,,

every exit of the house is always hijab,,,

Thank God my son is now very Alim

ever since my son came home our normal lives are back ,,,,,

like this afternoon

I happen to be alone Brother immediately came to help dikantin while learning to prepare for registration ,

I just got on the phone Papa said it's nice to have dinner at KFC because it's a nice birthday ,,,,

papa always so never refused if I or the child asked for ,,,,,

moreover, papa started in place of Alhamdulillah,,, your economy also became more stable ,,,,

but ever since papa came home from education and brother came home from boarding school I have never been to mama,,,,, I have never been ,,,,

it makes my brother angry and dislikes ,,,,

they say I'm a hot-tempered hot-tempered now wife of the official,,,,,,,, uh ,,,,,,,

I know it's from my ex-in-law who happened to play at the house of mama kemaaren afternoon,,,,,,, that ,,,,,

it just so happened that my ex-in-law stopped by the cantines last night,,,,,, uh,,,,,

"the Goddess mom rarely goes to the house of mama ya now ,,, because mama sama mbak Tuty said mbak don't want to know them again because already a wife of the official ,,,,",

I laughed,,, and we didn't discuss his ,,,,

we even tell each of us our work,,,,, we,,,,,

and our chatter last night still bothered my mind forcing me to reflect ,,,,,,

they don't care much or I'm too closed or too smart to cover it,,,,,, or,,,,,

they don't know that our lives are far from what they thought ,,,,,

just so they know for sure they'll be shocked and astonished,,,,,,,,, they'll be,,,,,,,,,

I am not far from the word rich we are also often confused about financial problems, especially my debt is also a lot of ,,,,,,,

but we are always grateful that it does not appear from the outside ,,,,,,

indeed since I married my Husband in fact our life fit aja aja ,,,,,, not excessive or lack of Alhamdulillah enough,,,,,, is ,,,,

we also have no savings,,,,, no, no ,,,,,,

nor has life ever been short of,,,,,,, ever ,,,,,,,

it's always enough,,,,,,, it's always enough ,,,,,,

maybe because papa was sincerely making his wife and son happy ,,,,

so sustenance always accompanies where papa steps,,,,

say life is concerned also not far from the word difficult even ,,,,,

because I can always buy clothes at the price of ,,,, bag ,,,,, party shoes ,,,,,, party bag ,,,,,

with a fantastic price and sometimes the amount purchased was more than one ,,,,, but can be paid ,,,,,, and ,,,,,

not to mention every time we need money there's always ,,,,, there's ,,,,,

I don't know where the money came from,,,,, or ,,,,,

moreover, my husband never got angry ,,,,

if I go shopping,,,,,, if ,,,,,

even he himself often arrives to buy a bag or party slippers at a fairly expensive price ,,,

in food too papa always buy me a cake that I like,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,

price problem no two important it feels like I like ,,,,

usually papa likes to buy my favorite cake at ,,,,

Harvest and Royal ,,,,,,

that cake papa used to buy every birthday I ,,,

the time to renovate any house is up to what I want he just choose the color that was also in accordance with my favorite color ,,,,,,,,,,, even in my favorite color ,,,,,,,,

all home designs from the Bathroom,,,,,, ,

bedroom ,,,,,,,, the ,,,,,,,,

kitchen , ,,,,,,,,

the floor of the house,,,,,,, all followed what I wanted to ,,,,,,,,,, all followed ,,,,,,,

so let me get tired of selling off in the morning and go home in the middle of the night, too ,,,,,

I am happy because I am free to use my money

even if less papa wants to add ,,,,,,

it's a lot different,,,,,, it's ,,,,

not like my time with Asiung

despite living with a treasure but not free to enjoy it ,,,

don't be happy ,,,,

shopping for cooking is just supervised ,,,,,,

why buy this ,,,,,, why ,,,,,,

don't waste extravagant ,,,,,,

don't buy expensive shrimp,,,,, or ,,,,,

if you buy clothes for me or my son, you must always say no need to be expensive expensive ,,,,

even my sister-in-law asked me who sells clothes that she happens to know ,,,,,,,,

I was also shocked when the salesman told the story ,,,,,

it just so happened that his son went to school with my son ,,,,,,

"my sister-in-law bought a shirt here or didn't ,,,,,

buy clothes how many pieces "

o Allah to his side

it's also been a matter of me cooking food for my little family,,,,,,,, you know ,,,,,,,

if not wrong time I make a baso cow to eat by myself ,,,,,

suddenly when I was again focused on cooking there was a voice of people coming,,,,,,

it was fitting that I asked to see my maid my sister-in-law who came straight up the attic to where I was cooking ,,,,,

as always, check out the kitchen,,, and ,,,,,

pretend to ask me what I cooked ,,,,,

end up opening the hood of the service ,,,,,,

fortunately my maid was deftly direct all the dishes in the cupboard under the stove table,,,, let's not look ,,,,,

I survived the discussion later tonight,,,,,, I ,,,,,

it just so happens that tonight there's a big family event of his ,,,,,,

and the brothers-in-law gather all ,,,,,,

and usually that's when they start to talk about the shortcomings of his wife's sister and sister's wife,,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

cage until the hot ears hear his ,,,,,,

far difference between Suroto and Asiung ,,,,,,

suroto indeed he is not rich not much money but my life is more satisfied ,,,,,

I'm content to enjoy the fruits of his labor we seek money ,,,,,,

as long as we can still hold ourselves ,,,,,,

I once asked why I never get mad if I shop,,,,,, you know,,,,,

"that's why you have to be angry as long as you can still control yourself no problem for papah ,,,

the important thing is if we suddenly need money must be ready not to find a loan here and there is the point,,,,,,,"

and I always remember my husband's advice ,,,,,

always grateful to have a loving and loving husband with wife and family,,,,,,, and,,,,,,

if we can be thankful God willing, the enjoyment of life is also added,,,,,,, and,,,,,,

Thank God our lives are arguably pretty well established ,,,,,,,

our car's got a,,,,,,, a, a ,,,,,,,

motor there are 3 ,,,,,,,,,,,

the house is nice and nice

in the heart of the city are ,,,,,,,,, ', uh ,,,,,,,,,

the clothes and goods we wear are also branded with a decent price,,,,,,,, and,,,,,,,

even if I clean up my kid's closet and my closet ,,,,

if I find a shirt that has been narrow or unused again but the condition is still good as well as bags and sandals or shoes I collect and usually I love for my brother ,,,,

I'll call them to come to mama to get ,,,,

they usually snatch,,,

even always waiting for goods from the results I clean clean cabinets and warehouses ,,,,

because they know the goods msh good and must be expensive ,,,,,,,

if you think we're both royal but it doesn't make us poor or bankrupt,,,,,,,, you know,,,,

in fact, every time we need money there is always a sustenance out of nowhere ,,,,,,

the more we rarely argue, the easier it is to solve problems,,,, the,,,,

that's why I'm grateful

and never want to remember the past that is not really so wonderful to remember,,,,,, or,,,,,,

",again think what mah ,,, from that bengong aja ",

suddenly the firstborn surprised me ,

"oh no pity mama again compare when mama was still in Lampung with the life of mama here

rich earth equals sky ",

",do you know what ???",

I told you everything with scavenging

and he's seriously listening to his ,,,,,,

occasionally she frowned her ,,,,

until finally

",hmmm bad yes rich people taste poor,,, but simple people taste rich people ,,,,

meaning this papa is great and really dear to mama because she feels not as great as papa Asiung

but she tried to make mom happy ,,,,

amazing means the right choice of mama to find a replacement for papa Asiung ",

I nodded and hugged my son

"yes but still mama apologizes to you because mama went away from your papa you so suffered ',

"don't ma papa here is also good although fierce but actually papa dear to me," ",

Thank God I am so happy that my son spoke so ,

we both went into the cafeteria and prepared a meal for papa ,,,,,

soon papa came from the office I welcomed her and I both ate together ,,,,

it feels beautiful and full of togetherness,,,,, and ,,,,,

every household has its good and bad sides as I experience ,,,,,

the days passed the month did not feel the registration almost arrived,,,,,,,, it was,,,,,,

papa and I provide a surport for students to learn and continue to learn,,,,,, and ,,,,,

until finally the time comes your son is ready to be ready to list,,,,

I already have a plening for this time my eldest son's call brother can not list one must be a lot of reserves because given the age limit of the older brother lives another year because the older brother has lost 2 years of his time ,,,

last year ,,,

but this year papah boys also graduated from school

he insisted on the list of Bintara also make this year ,,,

I confused ,,,,,,, I ,,,,,,

I want one ,,,,, I want one ,,,,

this is the beginning of our disagreement with papa again I became thinking

papa is not serious about taking care of brother because of stepbrother

every day I sprained equally papa even sleep first I do not want to wait anymore

I'm sprained because I don't think it's fair

",kak why ya papa also nurutin adek you make a list this year also when he knows your own fame is not focused on your business why this is even adek also list "

I called my son

"son ,, do you want a list why should you now be with the ???this year make a sister first who lists later the next year you ,,,,

klo together with mama no money,,,,, no ,,,,

after all klo kebandung it also costs , make nginep , eat ,??klo now mama's money is only enough to cost her sister ", you know ",.

he's in there but he's leaving to take care of his registration file,,,

I can't be bullshit anymore

there's a sense of sprain and despair

klo gini brother's fate will be abandoned again I have to make a decision

I finally asked my sister to list WH

(Vijaya Husada),,,,,,

it was accepted but I paid 3 jt I paid ,,,,,,,,.

but I'm not satisfied that I have to enter the nurse but the private one must be expensive

and it's not prestigious I told you to try Poltekkes too ,,,

at the end of the day he's also listing another week of tests ,,,,,,,

I don't care if you support me or I'm not round

accidentally that afternoon, brother story

",ma'am, actually adek it does not want to register now ma but papa who means he actually list adek it's good ma want to cower ,,,,, papa ,,,,

his father is ambitious"

I was very surprised with the horror I became more selas papa once finished eating malem I invite papa to chat

"sorry pah I want to ask papa it makes a good list of why ,,,, that child does not want to list first one but because papa forced so he wants a list "

papa was shocked immediately he called his son

"you mean what ???by the way

klo that's how you mending papa backwards not to interfere again,,,

it's up to the list or you don't want to know ,,,",

my son just shut up,, as if he's guilty of me why you're talking ,,,,,,

"you're angry with your mom who said the same brother ",

I recounted his talk in front of papa and himself ,,,,,,

he can't say anymore ,,, papa. is already angry ,,,,,, and my son nagged not accept but papa lengthened angry so papa cuek aja as if not care ,,,,,,,,, papa ,,,,,,I know you feel in a lie ,,,,,,,,

ever since that event we walked Tampa questioning her lg,,,,,,,

I've made up again ,,, it's like that

each of us disagrees at least briefly as soon as we confirm,,, so it is immediately completed at that time also ,,,,,, , so ,,,,,

we're back to normal,,,,,,, we're,,,,,,,

living in a household is not always smooth, there must be many obstacles just how we overcome his ,,,,,,

Thank God this family is able to overcome our problems and every problem never continues until widened and large ,,,,

impact can be original do not overdo,,,,,,,,,

that's life sometimes sweet sometimes bitter ,,,,,,,,,,

this can be realized because we both always learn from the mistakes of the past ,,,,,,

Alhamdulillah now just keep the ,,,,,,