THE FUTILE STRUGGLE OF THE LDR
CHAPTER 21 I DARE NOT CONTACT ADI FIRST

After the two of us broke up, Adi still kept telling me, even though Adi's position would be reversed again along with his wife and child, Ati still dared to communicate with me, he still dared to communicate with me,but it only lasted two days.

After we broke up and Adi reciprocated again with his wife, finally Adi had not given news to me.Semenjuk I did not communicate with Adi, Adi,I have to fight my mind and heart that is not unidirectional.kalo my heart says it wants to be accompanied Adi as before,but in my other mind don't bother him anymore.Maybe he's already happy with his son and wife.

So at that time I did not dare to contact Adi first, even if it was just asking for news, because I realize now Adi already belongs to someone else.So we lost contact for four to five months, so we lost contact,and now if I miss, I must be self-serving.Because realize that I am no longer anyone Adi.So I have no right to miss someone but it is no longer ours,while Adi already had someone else, I actually lost Adi at that time.

I do not want to repeat the same incident a second time, nor do I want to be disappointed and my heartache deepens,I also do not want to feel a deepening trauma to myself.Because think of someone who does not necessarily think of me as well.

I was afraid that if I was still communicating with Adi, I would find it harder to forget Adi, so I decided not to contact Adi again,what is usually every day Whatsapp is not at all, the first time not to contact Adi it feels very heavy especially the days without Adi.Although heavy without Adi I have to keep running my life,because running my life is still long.And the guy is not only Adi, there are still many guys out there besides Adi.After breaking up with Adi, I was immediately approached by a guy, he said,because I still want to be alone and not want to date again, I was really traumatized and afraid to open my heart again.As a result of the trauma that I am now, made me reject some of the guys who approached me,because I am still not ready to open my heart again.When the guy has given a choice that is a courtship or direct application, I am still confused and in the end I chose to be alone first, first,in my mind right now there I have to focus on my career first.I want when I already have a boyfriend or partner, my career has been achieved, I have achieved,that is, I want to be a famous writer.So I already have my own income, and not be a burden on my partner later,because I know that my needs are many and fear my partner does not have money.Mumpung I am still alone.I have to focus for my future, and raise the degree of my parents first.