THE FUTILE STRUGGLE OF THE LDR
CHAPTER 13 ANGGA SHOULD FOCUS ON HIS JOB APPLICATION

From this moment and this moment Angga must really focus on his job application, Angga must also learn, learn and continue to learn. Because Angga still has a lot to learn about the law, so Angga can be accepted at the police station. Because of the time SMK Angga chose law majors,

I thought "Will Angga be able to work in the police station", whereas Angga is only a graduate of SMK.

If Angga wants to work at the police station, Angga must at least pass the college strata one or strata 2, but Angga only graduates SMK

Angga has to really focus on his job application and family, to the point that Angga doesn't have time for me. Angga also never called me and sent a message to me, if I do not send a message first to Angga, Angga also will not send a message to me.

If Angga does not focus other than on his job application and his family, Angga will definitely get angry with his mother. His mother will also be furious if Angga still communicates with me, I am confused to have to survive with Angga or have to let Angga go from my life.

I have to start sending messages and looking for topics first, so as not to just die the topic. When we meet for sure I am the first to talk and look for topics to talk about.If I do not start talking to Angga. Angga also will not invite me first, for sure I yng invite Angga to talk first.

Why should I all start first, while Angga never start talking first or sending messages and calling me first. I am now also confused as to how, Angga also now really does not care about me anymore.

When I get sick and confide in Angga, Angga always say gini, Gini,

" you will not complain, I am only an intermediary and you pray to Allah SWT".I confide in you so that I can get attention from you, not even those words that come out of your mouth, even your words that make me hurt.

In the end I am self-serving of my problems, and I will not confide in anyone who is especially to Angga. Because I was afraid that if I confided to Angga, I would always say, "don't complain", that would traumatize me if I confided to Angga.

Angga now really no longer care about me, nor does he care if I am sick. Angga also does not want to know my news today, because Angga must really focus on his job application only.

When I was sad again, down and sick Angga was never there for me.Angga at that time even disappeared without news, I tried to contact Angga and spam WA Angga ,Angga was angry at me. Angga said "don't spam WA". "What's my fault?" If I spam WA Angga, because Angga has no news for 1 week.

"What's wrong if I'm worried about the state of Angga?"

I am now really confused about what to do, while Angga is not worried about my situation.I was surprised by Angga, what Angga really love and love for me.

I thought"if Angga dear and love surely Angga will not make me worry about his circumstances". But Angga even makes me worried about the situation, because it is very difficult to make news to me, Angga phone number is also sometimes inactive.I am confused what to do if Angga's phone number is not active,I am really very worried about the situation, if Angga is very difficult to contact.

Now my heart is very worried, because I have to choose to stay or break with Angga , ' he said , whereas I can not stand if Angga does not give news to me.Angga alone is not confused if I do not give news to Angga,I was not active nor did Angga care and not look for me.If Angga who is not news, surely I will look for Angga and worry with Angga.

I've been really fed up with Angga's words and Angga's promises, because I know that Angga lied to me, because I was only the impingement of Angga's lust for a moment ,

"why do I still want to stick with Angga".Because I love Angga with all my heart instead of using the mind, if I love using the mind I would have left Angga just like that

Angga is also not worth fighting for and in defense, because Angga is not trying to make me happy ,it actually makes me sad with the attitude of Angga cold and indifferent.Angga also does not want to sacrifice for me, Angga just toying with my feelings only.I also can not stand with the attitude of Angga like this ,I regret giving the opportunity to Angga and back with Angga.

I was so stupid, that I had to maintain this relationship which was anchored by lust alone, I should have ended this relationship from the beginning,instead of continuing this relationship I am very, very sorry.Why I am still so hopeful and affectionate to Angga at that time, which is clearly Angga just venting his lust against Shayah,Angga also not really sincerely love and love me.If I knew from the beginning maybe, I will not give this opportunity to Angga.Indeed regret it at the end not at the beginning.

Current events that I am experiencing, I will make a lesson and so as not to wrong again choose a partner,and so that I can distinguish serious men and men who are not serious or just vent their passions.Hopefully I can get men who understand religion and do not put forward the air his lust alone. now I can only pray and improve myself in order to find a much better soul mate than Angga.I also have to be more careful to choose a partner for the future, for the future,in order not to be able to mate again like Angga who only attach importance to his lust. And for you do not get a man like that, honestly yes because if you love someone with lust alone will not be comfortable with the person,you will be troubled by those whose desires are great.