Can I borrow your womb?
May I Borrow Your Womb 48

I haven't lived in this village for five years. My tears have never shed while I'm here. My phone is still stored neatly never used because there is no signal here.

Dance has always been healthy, even this year she has entered kindergarten school.

Dance, the encouragement of my life, who has always been my friend in losing happy or sad.

Every day my routine is selling yellow rice in front of the house.I started to gain weight and that means I am happy.

I only think about my mom once in a while. Is mom okay?

Ma, if we're destined to meet, I'm sure we'll meet someday.

My village, which has been in almost five years, is slowly advancing. Tower also began to be built, mobile phones become the communication tools needed. Almost everyone in this village now has a super good mobile phone. Electricity can also be used during the night.

I took my phone back in the closet drawer. This phone full of memories is still good. And this phone is one of the birthday gifts given by Mas Adzam.

"Mas, no matter how far I go your name still has a place in my heart. I hate you, but it's not easy to forget you. Bismillah.." I'm charging my phone.

After a little full, without feeling patient I pressed the power button, then this phone is on.

The thing I want to open right now is an album.

Yes this album is still full of memories of me, mas Adzam, and also Ririn and Raka.

One by one I saw the photos on my phone album. Without asking, the tears that had not been shed for five years now finally spilled back down my cheeks.

There is a longing that ripples in the recesses of my heart.

" What are you doing?" The loud sound of Dance surprised me.

I quickly wiped the tears that fell. I don't want to be a burden on the mind for dance.

" Mother crying?" Ask again.

I ducked in high alignment with Dance, "Mommy doesn't cry baby.. Mom's eyes are dusted." Sahutku lied.

" What do you hold? A cellphone? Fun.. now mom already has a mobile phone, later dance borrow yes mom want to see a cartoon."

My son cheered happily because he finally got to watch his favorite cartoon movie.

I agree to the dance request, "Pity you, son. You should live happily. Surrounded by a loving family. But. because I carelessly betrothed your father to my mother's best friend, you finally have to go along with all this suffering."

I stroked the head of the soft Dance.

" Mom, Dance for money to buy ice."

I gave him a note two thousand and he ran out of the house with his friends.

I smiled at the funny action of Dance.

I put the phone on the table, later in the afternoon I will ask Mita for help, to take me to the card registration place.

I started my house cleaning activities. Thank God with the savings when married to Mas Adzam I can buy a simple house for us to live together with Tari.

***

In the afternoon, I was done with my cell phone card registration.

Bismilbornrahmanirrahim.

For five years, this was the first time I've ever played mobile.

" Yes. uda's mom's phone can.." Dance back to cheering.

I gave you my phone to play Dance with.

Not long after I heard a loud scream of dance, "Mom..."

Suddenly I ran up to Tari for fear of something bad happening to her.

" Mom, who is this?" He gave me a picture on his phone.

As soon as I was silent, should I be honest now to Tari?

There's a picture of me and Adzam that Dance showed me.

I grabbed the phone from Tari's hand, and sat down beside Tari.

" Why are you silent? This daddy? Dance has a father, ma'am?"

I hugged Tari, "Have dong dear, all the children born into this world must have a father."

" Why don't you stay with us? The Goddess' sister's father is in her house."

He told me about his friend who had a father.

" Someday, if Dance is big we meet dad, yeah. Don't forget to pray, that God may grant Dance's request."

I comforted Tari not to be sad.

I played her favorite cartoon video so she would forget a little bit about our picture.

***

It was late, but my eyes were not closed. I'm still opening an account with the blue logo. I type Ririn's name, immediately appears the profile photo of a woman I know with a man in a wedding dress.

My eyes condensed looking at the photo of the happiness of Ririn and her husband.

" O God, may Ririn find a good soul mate, who loves Ririn the same and most importantly the man who is together at this time is a responsible man." My prayer in my heart.

I re-opened Ririn's blue logo.

Still the happy atmosphere on the wedding album Ririn, all the families gathered with cheerful faces not to forget their clothes in the same uniform.

There's a picture of my mom, still looking pretty.

There are also photos of Lina and her husband and children.

There's a picture of Raka with her pregnant wife.

And in the last photo, my smile disappeared instantly because there was a photo of Adzam and Hanum. They pose with their hands and Adzam embraces Hanum's shoulder.Laughter they come off, showing that their lives are so happy. I looked at every photo of them, did Adzam and Hanum not have children?

Mas Adzam and Hanum lived in a glamorous style, seen from the sandals and bags that Hanum wore. Inversely proportional to the life of me and Dance here who must be frugal so that we can still eat three times a day.

I went back to look at Ririn's veranda. There is a picture of me holding a Dance with a caption (For those who see this woman please let us know as soon as possible. Ma'am Afi, we all miss mbak and Tari. It's been a few full moons we've never met. Some more Ririn will lead a new life. Ririn just wants to mbak and Tari present on Ririn's happy day. If mbak Afi see this please tell Ririn, because Ririn's mobile number is still the old one.)

I sobbed reading the caption in the photo.

Turns out they still remember me. It feels like my chest is reminiscing about them. Five years is not a short time.

To tell Ririn that I am here okay, I also left a trail like in the photo post.

Next I turn off the phone, and sleep hugging Dari who has been asleep since then, maybe because of too much play.

I began to close my eyes to welcome a more cheerful tomorrow morning.