Can I borrow your womb?
May I Borrow Your Grace 25

It didn't take long to look beautiful but simple, now I've joined the morning meal of mama-in-law cuisine.

Chicken seasoning kalasan and sambal terasi added lalapan cucumber, boiled cassava leaves, plus long beans so evocative my appetite this morning.

But something was going through my mind. What's Hanum doing there? Lonely of himself?

I looked at Mama, Ririn, and Mas Adzam alternately.

" Let's eat, Fi!" Mom said while looking at me.

" what the hell do you think, mbak?" Ririn stopped the rice mouthful into her mouth.

" Eh, no," I continued eating.

We're done eating, Ririn cleaned up our leftover food waste this morning.

Mama took me and Mas Adzam to the family room. Adzam and I looked at each other, the next second we were tailing behind mom.

Mama dropped her body on the red-furred carpet. I did the same thing, but more carefully.

" Mommy wants to solve the polemic that's going on in your household. As parents, you can't let you live a household like this. Households are unhealthy!" Mama said without further ado.

" What should Adzam do, ma?"

Mas Adzam looks moody.

" Hanum's divorce!" Mama threw her face away, not looking at me at all.

" Yes, ma! Adzam had already talked about this with Afi." Answer me Adzam moody.

Is that sad you are? I still have bad thoughts about Adzam.

" Your house and Hanum's were built not on love. We just need Hanum's womb to give birth to your children, as you and Afi wish. Now that Afi's pregnant, then Hanum we don't need anymore. You see Afi's condition? he's a heavy stinger! He was depressed because he wasn't ready to see you close to Hanum. Let alone the condition of Afi who is now pregnant with your child, it is not easy to make life as relaxed as this, Adzam." My mother continued her advice to us.

I still speak a thousand languages. On the one hand what my mother said was right, that I was not ready to see Adzam share a blanket, share intimacy with other women. On the one hand, if I ask for a divorce from Adzam and Hanum, it means I'm very mean and selfish. As the saying goes, Be sweet as you throw away. If that happens, oh. am I still called a friend?

" What about your opinion Fi?" Mom's question broke my daydream.

" Em. anu ma, um later Afi and mas Adzam will meet Hanum, we will talk about the three." I answered my mother's question very nervous.

" Adzam, take good care of Afi. Do not let this incident happen again. If Afi is often depressed, then the risk is very large for the growth and development of the fetus in the womb Afi." Message mom again to Mas Adzam.

Mas Adzam just nodded.

Ririn was ready with her job behind, "Ma, we go home now yuk!"

Ririn seemed to look tired after struggling with housework in my house.

" Afi's mama's improved?" Ririn asked me.

" Thank God Rin, I'm good." I smile at my brother-in-law who judges but loves me very much.

Mama got up from her seat, I shook my mother. Mama hugged me, "Don't get sick, you gotta be healthy for your granddaughter." Mom whispered to me.

I rubbed the corner of my eye. It is sad to live the destiny of such a life.

Mama and Ririn left our house.

Adzam and I remained silent. No one is trying to open up a conversation between us.

I choose to go to the kitchen, make milk also do not forget to take vitamins given by the Doctor.

I was still sitting in the kitchen, trying to clear my mind.

" Fi," Mas Adzam touched my shoulder.

I just looked around for a second, the next second I just looked down.

I still speak a thousand languages. Things I rarely did when our wedding was still warm.

Mas Adzam left, and he entered the room. There was the sound of water. That means Adzam is taking a shower.

I am still confused about my way of thinking. What path should I choose. But for the safety of the baby in my womb, I have to finish this day.

I went into the room, prepared Adzam's clothes. The thing I left behind for a long time, I slowly repeat.

Mas Adzam came out of the bathroom, he was surprised to see me preparing his clothes.

" Thank you, slowly you will be my old Afi. I missed!" He put his hand on my stomach.

" Well, can I be like before? While you? It's been contaminated by Hanum for me." I murmured in my heart.

I let go of Adzam's hand, without speaking I took a towel and went to the bathroom to clean myself.

******

I was wearing only makeshift clothes, without makeup either.

" Come on mas!" I took Mas Adzam out.

He looked at me in wonder, "Uda like this?" Ask me about Adzam.

" why? Ugly? Are you ashamed of my path?" I dropped my body on the chair.

It turns out that Mas Adzam has changed.

She is more concerned with the beauty of a woman now.

I think Adzam knew what was on my mind, he approached me. " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm used to you performing the way you are." Adzam was honest with me.

" Come! I also want this to be done soon, we open a new page. It's just the two of us without Hanum." Persuade me again Adzam.

Finally, with a heavy heart, I put my foot out. Mas Adzam locked the door to our house.

*****

We arrived at Hanum's house. I watched this house. I remember, the first time I came to buy this house, it was so arid. In a period of several months, Hanum can juggle this house so beautiful.

Many green plants are lined on the terrace of this house. A new motorcycle is parked on the terrace.

While waiting for Hanum to open the door, I noticed the surroundings around this house.

I really enjoyed the view of Hanum's house. Compared to my home, my home is nothing.

From a distance, Mas Adzam looked restless, occasionally wiping the sweat on his face.

" Dad, is it hard for you to let go of Hanum?" Batinku.

I approached the door of Hanum's house, knocked on it many times, but there was no sign of the door being opened.

Finally I went to Mas Adzam, "Well, you don't have a duplicate key?" I asked Adzam.

" Eh anu, there's this." Mas Adzam seemed nervous to answer a question from me, Hand mas Adzam took out the key from inside his wallet.

I opened the door quickly.

The atmosphere of this house was quiet, I entered without making a sound.

Until I got to the front door of the room I was surprised by Hanum,

" tara......"