Can I borrow your womb?
May I Borrow Your Grace 13

Hanum turned his head for a moment, smiling slightly at me. " If you just wash the dishes and clean it up like this" he replied.

I just laughed when I heard her words.

I watched Hanum from behind.

Wife of Adzam. May my choice of choosing Hanum to be a mother for the children of Adzam be the best, and I hope, God, that the household we built will remain a safe and prosperous household.

Hanum finished washing the dishes. Now he sits in front of me. We looked at each other.

One minute, two minutes and...

" Can this wedding be canceled?"

asked Hanum with a serious face.

I looked into his eyes. Trying to find the answers myself, but I can't find the answers I'm looking for.

" Why change your mind?"

Hanum tapped his finger at the table.

" Why change your mind?" ask again.

" I'm afraid of hurting you." she replied softly.

" I'm sorry if I couldn't keep my attitude last night. Honestly, I am learning to be a strong woman. But hard!" answer honestly.

" If you need a child, why don't you just adopt? I thought that was Fi's best way!"

I shook my head, " Mas Adzam is not barren, so Mas Adzam can still have children. And me..?" Even I don't explain myself.

" I'm sorry if you're disappointed with my attitude yesterday" I said.

" I'm afraid of hurting your feelings for Fi and ruining our friendship." Said Hanum moody.

" For Adzam's sake." I held Hanum's hand. Trying to give strength, even though I myself am fragile.

************

Hanum has come home, I also continued to berberes house. In the afternoon, my mother and I will shop for wedding purposes mas Adzam

Beautiful aunt tomorrow, my sister mas Adzam will arrive. I'm a little scared of taking on Auntie Lovely. Beautiful Aunt could have been angry at my silly idea.

Ting..Vat..

The bell rang, maybe my mom had arrived. I rushed to open the door, and it turned out right...

" Assalamu'alaikum...." Compact mom and aunt Beautiful say hello.

My eyes glared in surprise, but the next second we hugged tightly.

" Aunty...."

" What's up baby... healthy?" ask aunty to me .

" Alhamdulillah healthy aunt.."

I also let aunty Indah and mama go inside.

Don't forget I served drinks to mama and aunt Indah.

" Don't bother, baby.."

" Just make a drink do not bother tan, cook already far come do not taste the drink at home Afi." My canda.

" Here sit" Beautiful aunt patted the empty chair beside her.

I'm following aunt's request.

" Why did you let your husband marry your best friend? It's hard for a man if he can't be fair to his wife." Obviously aunt at length.

I also told about my wedding trip and Adzam mas from beginning to end. Beautiful Aunt repeatedly rubbed my back trying to encourage me. not occasionally wipe the tears that came spilling.

***************

The day I feared finally arrived. This morning all the nuclear families had gathered in our house. No exception Hanum and mas Adzam the bride. Hanum looks beautiful and elegant with a white kebaya do not forget the white veil and the flower mrlati decorate on his head. Mas Adzam was no less handsome to be with Hanum. Mr. Penghulu has arrived and is talking to Mas Adzam, while Hanum is sitting next to his mother, aunt Indah, Ririn also Rina.

I don't know what expression suits me right now. Seeing them compact there was a pain that rained down on my heart.

I still peek behind my bedroom door.

Still gathering strength to watch Adzam say kabul ijab for the second time.

" How is Mr Adzam, is this marriage liveable?" ask pak penghulu.

Mas Adzam looked at me as if asking for my approval.

I nodded my head in agreement.

the atmosphere is silent, pak penghulu started the kabul ijab event and shook the hand of the pak pengulu. Until the sound of Mas Adzam was heard loudly, "I received the marriage of Hanum bint Waluyo with a dowry a set of prayer tools and five million rupiah cashi...."

With the witness answering Sah....

Alhamdullah.....

Unknowingly my tears fell one by one like rain out there.

Yes, the marriage of Mas Adzam this time accompanied by the swift rain and the swift tears of my eyes.

It was as if nature knew how sad my heart was to see this marriage. Now Hanum has been sitting next to Mas Adzam signing some wedding documents.

when they finished, they shook hands for the first time. Hanum smiles and kisses the hands of her husband and husband.

My husband is now her husband too. There's nothing different. Hanum will also receive the same rights from Adzam.

Now that the photo session is taking place, it appears that Adzam and Hanum pose by showing off their wedding book. And I really did not dare to look at them, Throughout the event I looked down more regretting the fate of my life.

Sometimes aunty Indah rubbed my back saying the word patience and istigfar.

At Adzam's wedding I was quieter until my brain was out of focus when someone called me.

" Fi..." A voice surprised me.

I looked for the origin of the voice that called me.

Mas Adzam waved at me.

" here! "

I walked towards the newlyweds with heavy steps.

I stood beside Hanum, but Adzam pulled my hand to stand beside him. We all three finally took a picture.

Ijab kabul is over, then we enjoy lunch together. Mas Adzam and Hanum sat side by side. I don't know why I'm out of breath seeing Hanum sitting with my husband.

The food was delicious, but not with me.

My appetite just disappeared.

My eyes seemed reluctant to turn away from Adzam and Hanum.

And it seems like Adzam realized that.

He got up from his seat and did not forget to bring his plate to walk towards me.

" Eat! Which one do you want?" Mas Adzam took the plate and prepared to fill.

" No need to bother, I can do it myself." Elakku while grabbing the plate from the hand of Adzam mas but can not be reached because Adzam mas still filled rice and favorite side dishes.

" Eating a lot of pliers, it's my favorite food" said Mas Adzam as he blinked one eye.

I smiled at him. I don't know why I don't like the conversation now.

I started my eating activities slowly. My mother and other relatives are done.

" Extended again?" ask me Adzam.

I shook my head as a sign of rejection.

I put the plate full. Then wash my hands.

" Are you ready?" ask mama.

" It's ma.."

Pu's dirty dishes were broken by some of the people I paid to help me with today.

While Hanum's permission to change the next room I cleaned last night.

I entered my room followed by Mas Adzam.

I took something for Adzam.

" What is this?" ask mas Adzam wonder.