Can I borrow your womb?
May I Borrow Your Grace 11

Which, it turns out that Hanum is the one who is so cute." said mas Adzam.

The deg! My heart stopped beating.

Is Adzam judging Hanum?

" As long as I sent him home, he didn't stop talking. Insights are wide ranging.." Mas Adzam with sparkling eyes.

I am not eager to chim in with Adzam's words. There was anger on my chest. From his words, his eyes, it seemed like Adzam was in love with Hanum from the first sight.

Mas Adzam nudged my shoulder, "Why silence? Uda sleepy?"

I shook my head, showing off a fake smile. " Not mas, all day I sleep so this hour has not drowsy dong mas. Uh, continue dong mas today's story seems exciting loh." I pretended to be happy when I was hurt.

" The atmosphere becomes lively if you have a friend who is rame loh."

" Be a friend of your life soon." Vibrating is already my tone of voice.

Mas Adzam clasped my hand, probably aware that his words hurt the recesses of my heart.

" Sorry..."

I shut her mouth, "Don't apologize. This is all my fault."

I don't want Adzam to always feel guilty.

I turned my body against the wall. I wipe the corner of my watery eyes. Do not let Adzam know the worry of my heart.

**********************

Adzam's wedding day is approaching. Three more days my love will be divided because of my own actions, fishing crocodiles with tender meat, who will refuse.

Mas Adzam and Hanum met more and more. Mas Adzam also began to be busy with his phone. There is no day without a cell phone in his hand. Sometimes he has been smiling himself with the reason to want to watch tv. But what I saw was the tv watching Adzam's behavior. It's smirking! that's how I feel.

I finished cooking this morning. I approached Mas Adzam in the tv room. It seems he was unaware of my arrival. I purposely danced behind his back. With him leaning on the back of the chair, I could tell who he was playing with.

Mas Adzam was busy replying to a message with someone. I held my breath so as not to hit the body mas Adzam.I sharpen my eyes towards the mobile phone mas Adzam.

My body was shaking, heat was running through my body. I was in an AC room.

Oh hanum! Hanum is the cause. Mas Adzam and Hanum were engrossed in a friendly message. I slowly retreated unable to feel as if my mouth was calling out for a voice. My body and lips were shaking. The pain is like a dagger.

Prangs! The pot on the table fell to the floor, breaking apart from being knocked over by my body.

Mas Adzam got up from his seat.

He looked towards the source of the voice. His eyes were round looking at me.

I looked at him inside, he threw away his face. Dare not look at me.

" A..what happened?" ask her.

I think Adzam is just pretending not to know.

I ran to the room. My knees are still shaking. I did not expect that the effect of my plan was to befall myself.

Mas Adzam came into the room after me.

I was still sitting in front of the closet with my hands and feet intertwined.

He squatted down in front of me, "I'm sorry.sorry.." Only words of apology come out of Adzam's lips.

I shook my head, "It's not my fault! Maybe it's just me who hasn't prepared well." My speech's rambunctious.

" If you feel not strong, unable to continue your plan, better cancel it from now on. This is not my real desire." Adzam's words touched me.

He did not speak to me and passed from this room. All I heard was the sound of his car moving away from me in this house.

**************

I've been pretty good from yesterday. This morning Mas Adzam is on leave to work, because it will take care of the second marriage administration in the KUA office.

I accompanied him.

Many people regretted that our marriage had to be nullified by the third person. Though I had already explained to them that Hanum was not the actor they had expected.

And today is done all the wedding documents of my husband and my best friend. In the car were three of us. I sat next to Adzam while Hanum sat behind Adzam. I occasionally notice suspicious movements from Mas Adzam. It was like watching Hanum silently. How beautiful my heart!

Since it was noon, we stopped by a food stall. I chose grilled tilapia as well as Adzam and Hanum while choosing grilled chicken.

I stared at their favorite food. They just had an indistinct smile.

There is a sense of disgust to witness the intimacy of Adzam and Hanum.

When food is served, Adzam and Hanum eat with greed. Sometimes they joke without having any more disdain for me. Is Mas Adzam feeling second puberty?

I stirred my food with my hands. There was pent-up anger, yet it was only able to vent on the innocent rice.

" Fi, how come the rice is just squeezed? aren't you hungry?" Tell Hanum to me.

I'm silent, silent a thousand languages. While my tears are over to cry over my life story.

Until we're ready to eat, I don't even say a word. Making Mas Adzam and Hanum be wrong.

We drove Hanum home to his contract, I'm still quiet.

Even at home I was still silent. Letting Mas Adzam confused himself see me like this. I change my clothes, sleep is the most pleasant solution if I feel tired. By sleeping I can forget all the problems that happened in my household life.

I never thought God would test me to the lowest pulse.

If I don't remember sin, I want to hang my neck on a rope.

Or sometimes I want to drink rat poison lying under the kitchen. The point is that I am sometimes tired of living my destiny.

************

The night is crawling, the house is getting colder. Silent, only the screams of crickets and the whistling of owls echoed in the darkness of the night. The hunger made me wake up. I walk into the kitchen. But when passing through the family room, there was a mas Adzam who was asleep on the carpet in front of the television. Mas Adzam curled up in the cold.

Mas, I'm sorry!

There is guilt in the deepest recesses of my heart.

" Wake up!" I shook his body a few times.

He just rubbed his eyes.

" Wake up! Move to the room!" my spoken.

" Yes." Yeah."

After making sure he got up, I passed towards the kitchen. Fortunately there is still a stock of instant noodles and eggs, otherwise I can starve tonight.

I boiled hot water after boiling directly dipping noodles and eggs.

While enjoying noodles, I was surprised by the arrival of Adzam mas.

" Fi..."

Anyone know the nights mas Adzam came to the kitchen to do what? Stay in the trail....