Dusk At the End Please
Bereft

The days that Shanum spent were increasingly empty without Haqi present with him. He seemed to still feel the presence of Haqi in every corner of the room they occupied for six nights but ended up only limited to hallucinations.

Shanum still lives with his mother-in-law and sister-in-law in Jakarta. Father, Mother and younger brothers Shanum was still reluctant to leave Shanum to return to Bogor. Adam, who is also Haqi's cousin, was forced to return to Bogor Jakarta for a week because of the request of the wife who still wanted to accompany her brother.

The last request conveyed by her late husband in a dream turned out to also he had conveyed to his sister-in-law.

Tok.dok...

"Tea? can I come in?" the sound of knocking on the door of his room stopped Shanum who was reading the Qur'an after the Isha prayer.

Shanum is still up there. After ending the gap, he went to the door.

"Dek, come in" said Shanum when he saw the door was open because it was not locked.

"Teteh has it? I'm not bothering you?" asked Hasna who felt bad because when she opened the door to Shanum's room Shanum heard Shanum immediately end his salary.

"No, no, no bother. What's up?"

shanum replied reassuring Hasna if her presence did not interfere.

"I'm sorry before, there's something I want to say to Teteh" Hasna said, looking hesitant as she said she would say something.

"Say, Deck don't hesitate" Shanum said.

"Before Brother died actually Brother had prepared something for Teteh, after Brother finished taking care of the company's business plan he wanted to give this surprise to Teteh" Hasna gave him a map she had brought with her when she entered Shanum's room.

Shanum received the map, he stared at the map for a long time. Feeling reluctant to open it, but curiosity about the contents of the map given by his sister-in-law made Shanum slowly open the map.

The first sheet that Shanum saw was a photo of a modern minimalist-looking house with a spacious yard filled with plants that make the atmosphere of a cool and beautiful house.

In the second sheet Shanum also saw a photo of a car with a beautiful flat number B 54 NUM, it looks like Haqi has prepared all this in advance.

The next sheet Shanum also read the documents of ownership of the house and car on his behalf. He closed the map and handed it back to Hasna.

"Sorry, Deck. Teteh could not accept it" Shanum said, shaking his head as he handed the map back to Hasna.

Tok.dok...

The sound of knocking on the door again sounded by Shanum, he looked up at the door of his room that had already opened slightly.

"May Mami come in?" it turned out that Mami Ratna was knocking on the door. He accidentally caught up with his daughter when Hasna said she would convey Haqi's trust to Shanum.

"Mami, please come in" Shanum stood up from his seat and invited Mami Ratna to sit at the soup in her room which was then followed by her and Hasna who were originally sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Teteh, reject Mi" said Hasna lethargic.

Mami Ratna looked at Shanum with gentleness. He had guessed that this woman of his son's choice was a special woman who was not easily tempted by wealth. Several times Mami Ratna received the arrival of the woman who approached her son's Haqi but none of them matched her heart because in the end Haqi's wealth attracted them. Somehow different from when she received a photo of Shanum from her son, Mami Ratna immediately agreed to her son's plan to propose Shanum.

Mami Ratna smiled as Shanum looked at her.

"Why did the Lord reject her?" asked Mami Ratna softly.

"I'm sorry, Mi. I don't deserve it" Shanum replied slowly. He did not want his answer to offend his mother-in-law.

Mami Ratna smiled again.

"Teteh. If possible Mami told me, since the departure of her late father Haqi and Hasna Mami was very lost and their presence both really became a source of strength for Mami. Haqi grew up to be a good and responsible young man, he really took care of Mami and Hasna"

"One day Haqi once said that he wanted a wife who could not only accompany him in the world and the hereafter but could also glorify Mami and keep Hasna away from Mami and Hasna, Haqi's wife can look after and love Mami and Hasna. It seems like Haqi's words back then are evident now, hiks...😭" Mami Ratna could not help but cry as she told about her son's hopes.

He then tightly grasped Shanum's hand and looked at him deeply,

"Please, stay with Mami's daughter. Don't leave Mami and Hasna? Mami was sure that what happened to Haqi was as well arranged as possible by the Almighty, He took Haqi from us and sent you instead" Mami said in a raucous voice as it was accompanied by a sobbing that still did not stop. He looked at Shanum with a pleading gaze.

Hasna who was beside Shanum also hugged Shanum from the side and leaned her head on Shanum's shoulder with tears breaking.

"I love you like a brother who loves Teteh very much" said Hasna full of haru.

Shanum was deeply moved to hear the request from his mother-in-law and sister-in-law. He promised in his heart that he would consider them like his real family.

"You keep this well, these are all forms of Haqi's affection and duty as your husband. Accept it, don't make Haqi sad. Mami was sure she would be disappointed if she found out you rejected her" Mami took the map Shanum had handed over from Hasna, she handed it back to Shanum.

"Steh, I also found this in my desk drawer at the office. It seems like this is the privacy that Bang Haqi has kept all this time, I think it should be more entitled to know it first" Hasna handed over a diary book that was not too large.

Shanum received the book with a trembling hand.

"Mami stay first yes, if you're done soon you rest" Mami Ratna seemed to understand if Shanum needed privacy to read the book that Hasna found in the drawer of Haqi's desk in his office.

Hasna was sure to hand the book over to Shanum after she had read some of Haqi's handwriting on the book about Shanum.

Shanum answered Mami Ratna's words with a nod of his head. He went from his sopa to his bed.

Slowly Shanum's hand rubbed the cover of the book that allegedly belonged to her husband. He slowly unfolded the cover and it appeared that the first page of the book featured his name engraved beautifully with large letters.

2 October ...

*Shanum Najua Azzahra*

~God is what instills love in our hearts, so don't ask me why I love you.~

From the date and the ink that had seemed to fade Shanum knew if the writing of his name in the book was written while he was still in college in Bamdung. Shanum remembered that day was the last day Shanum followed the camp as the final series of ospek activities.

10 November ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~The world is jewelry, and the best jewelry of the world is shalehah~ women

22 December ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Sometimes a lot to write and express, but the heart whispers "already, God knows everything~

11 January ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

22 February ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Time that will explain about the taste that is in my heart for you~

1 March ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~The best thing is to be prejudiced against everything. God, thank you you for still giving these eyes a chance to be able to see her smile, and these ears can still hear her voice~

April 5th ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Which as far as sahur and iftar time, will be as close as keda adzan and iqamah. May it be us~

September 30th ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~In this world there is nothing we can get without a struggle, the more difficult the struggle is, usually the sweeter the result. May so be my struggle for you~

30 December ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Delivering does not mean giving up, but rather realizing that there are things that cannot be forced. Let me choose to love you in diam~

Deg ... looking at the written date of the sentence, Shanum recalled that it was the day Ahsan declared his love.

13 January ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Either why, already slapped into the uncertainty class, still hugging tightly into a hope. I don't know why there's nothing fun today. Being in the phase of trying to mengikhlaskan~

13 March ..

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Regardless of reply or not, the power of a sincere love will always defeat everything~

April 2nd ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~By you O Allah I leave a dream that I have long hoped~

April 5th ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~God has never prevented me from admiring him, but God forbid me to have him. In the end I have to stay away from you, because necessity is not desire~

23 June ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~There is still hope worth waiting for, no need to hesitate, keep sky do'a-do'a. For the do'a is the best affair for love seized by distance. Fight it first, the matter of marriage or not that's the business later ~

18 August ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~For you, I still pay and pray, may Allah predestine. Embodied does not materialize, remain prostrate. Don't stop, don't give up. Follow the game first, hahaha....~

Degs... Shanum again felt something pinching his heart, the day written on the sheet was when he decided to return to Bogor after resigning from the foundation. He did not expect that Haqi would still expect it.

24 December ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Senja teaches us that beauty does not always have to come in the beginning~

It was the day Adam told Shanum that someone had intended to ask him.

17 January ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Just be sure the meeting will not be wrong place, will not be wrong time let alone wrong person~

It was the day that Haqi came for the first time to meet the Shanum family to speak his heart.

23 January ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Don't be forced, your rival is his past~

Deg, deg, deg .. something hit Shanum's chest again as he read the sentence. The sentence Haqi wrote right on his wedding day.

31 January ...

"Shanum Najua Azzahra"

~Thank you for being the answer of my do'a-do. Thank you for accompanying my journey. Thank you for giving me whatever is best. I know no one is better than you when you try to love me. I love and love you with all my soul and body, believe that whatever your circumstances will not change my love and love for you, Shanum Najua Azzahra, my dear wife~

Shanum's hand shook, his chest increasingly rumbling as he read the last sentence written on the notebook. It was the day she received a call from her husband to get ready for the night, and the day the accident happened.

Shanum was no longer able to endure the sobs, he muffled the rumbling feeling in his chest. During reading every sentence that Haqi wrote his tears did not stop flowing down his cheeks to his lap.

"Abang .. My biggest fear is not to lose you, but how I get through the days after you've always been with me. Let God know how this heart misses you. Hix.....😭" Shanum spoke to himself.