Dusk At the End Please
Mother (2)

'Mom, what is God?'

'Son, God created everything. The sky, the earth, the sea, the river, the rock, the cat, everything, including creating Grandpa, Grandma, Father, Mother is also you.'

'Mom, why should we worship God?'

'Son, we worship God as a form of gratitude because God has given us many good and ease. For example, now you can breathe, breathe free air again. We can see, we can hear, we can walk, move freely that facilitates all our activities, and many more goodness and ease that God has given.'

'If we do not worship our own God of loss, for God remains Almighty even though we do not worship him.'

'Mom, what is God like?'

'Son, do you know the shape of mountains, rocks, suns, elephants, everything?..."

'The form of God is not the same as anything you have ever seen. And those who are devout, do much good in their lives sincerely because of Allah he will meet God at the appointed time."

'Mom, where is God?'

'Son, God is close to us. God is always in the heart of every man. Including in your heart dear, so God is everywhere you are.'

It was a series of conversations Akhtar remembered when he saw the woman who was now in front of him. He always answered all the questions he asked as a child patiently, his little mouth never stopped chattering when the target reached him. His gaze was loving and the sweet smile that always adorned his lips while answering all the little Akhtar questions.

"Mother.." is the first word that is currently able to be spoken from the tongue. Akhtar's body was still fixated on the same spot, he felt this was his dream come true.

The woman in front of him also threw her sweet smile at the son after a while ago he opened his veil.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she slowly stepped foot towards where her beloved son stood. He knew his son might be shocked by this meeting. Splitting up for a very long time made him change drastically especially in appearance.

Since the breakup with her husband, Akhtar's mother chose to become more closed, not only about herself and her heart but also about her appearance. The loose abaya and the wide headscarf that covered almost her entire body now became her everyday attire.

He tried hard to improve himself to become a better person. Because for him, heartbreak is not a substitute. Broken heart is a cure for solitude, introspection and self-love.

"Akhtar....Akhtar Farzan.." Mother's voice choked because of sobs that can not be held anymore.

"Akhtar Farzan Wijaya." he said softly, extending his hands towards his son. There was a different sense when mentioning his son's last name.

Akhtar could no longer hold back his cries, he squashed at his mother's feet, crying out in vain.

"Mother....hikkk.." his hands tightly hugged the mother's feet, the sound of her crying was so bitter, that anyone who heard would surely be slashed.

The mother immediately grabbed her body, she hugged her son tightly submerged his face in the chest of the field of the son who was left behind was still limited to his shoulders. Now he was leaning on his son's chest.

The two of them hugged each other with tears that had not yet subsided. The two shed a mountainous longing in heart-wrenching cries.

Everyone who saw it had to witness this meeting of mother and child years apart. Several employees of the agency office who witnessed the event also shed tears. The atmosphere of the office is now filled with extraordinary novelty.

Slowly people resigned, the owner of the agency office that was then present, gave code to all employees to leave the room. He wanted to make room for the mother and the child.

An hour passed, the cries of the two of them began to subside. Akhtar, who was always strong in the face of anything, was really unable to hold himself back when he met his mother. He who is full of authority, confidence and dashing when faced with his client like a lion who is ready to pounce on the opponent, is now transformed into an adorable cat in front of the Mother.

Slowly his mother loosened her embrace, but not for Akhtar she still hugged the mother tightly as if not to escape.

The smiling mother felt her son's embrace grow tighter. He understood that a very long separation made the son never again feel his embrace. Akhtar seemed to want to replace the times that have passed without him by hugging as much.

"Akhtar, Mother's son...." Mom started to sound more calmly.

"This hand can only cupped the mother's cheek, but now this hand can cover all the faces of Mother, huh..." Mom started telling stories to melt the atmosphere.

He had to look strong again in front of his son, he did not want to make his now grown son worry about him. He assured his son that he was fine now and lived his life well.

Mother's hand grabbed Akhtar's hand which was still cupping his face. But it seems that Akhtar is still not willing to divert it. He even brought his face closer to kissing the mother's forehead.

Mother who received sweet treatment from her son again was unable to hold back her tears, she again sobbed to hold back her tears.

It used to be a morning and night ritual that they always do. The morning before leaving school, Akhtar bailed by kissing the mother's hand and replied with a warm kiss on her forehead. Akhtar always asked his mother to squat so he could do the same, kissing her forehead.

The night before going to bed, after reading the bedtime story and muraja'ah (repeating memorization) the short letters of the Qur'an peeked at each other into a ritual that was not missed by them.

Akhtar then grabbed both hands of the mother, kissed her many times and again kissed her forehead. Mother smiled, she was moved and happy when her son still remembered their habits. Then he moved from his seat, aligned himself with Akhtar who was still sitting on the floor and kissed her forehead.

Akhtar still refused to speak. He clasped his mother's hand and looked at her face. The face of the woman he missed the most. The face of the woman he looked at looked different, now on the face were lines of wrinkles that showed how the time they passed without being together had long passed. Awakening Akhtar turned out that parting with his mother was not a short time.

Likewise with Mom, she stared inside her son, the face she always missed, which was always a reason for her to survive her difficult times. That face now looked more mature and very handsome in his eyes.

He realized that he had left his son for a long time. There were too many things about the boy that he missed.

They stared at each other, spilling a longing that had not yet subsided.

"Akhtar, Mother's son", Mother again mentioned Akhtar's name accompanied by her favorite call. Akhtar smiled slightly, he was still focused with the face he kept staring at, faithfully waiting for what Mother would say next.

"Akhtar, Mother's son...."

"You were born when your friends were still free to adventure in the outside world. The ones that grew up when you may still not deserve to be called parents. You've grown up to be a godly, kind and intelligent child."

In the past, when Mom drove you to school, attended a guardianship meeting, attended an annual stage invitation, many people said that Mother who educated you well was, in fact, you're the one who taught me to be a better person."

"When Mom's farewell to your dad happened, people said I was strong enough to raise you. In fact, you are the one who is strong against Mom because it turns out that Mom's ego was very domineering."

Akhtar, Mother's son...."

"Where did Mom go, wherever mom was in your picture never tired of me looking. The gallery on Mother's device has only your photos. The last photo I have is a photo of Aini's delivery when you visit Garut, Aini secretly photographed you in every circumstance and sent it to Mother. Until the person who knows what you're doing says you love you so much. In fact, love is greater for Mom."

Akhtar frowned when he heard his mother talk about Aini. Stupidly he why he could forget that the girl must know the whereabouts and news of his mother all this time. She lives with Grandpa and Grandma, she must be the liaison of Mother's communication with Grandma and Grandpa in Garut.

"People say, I'm forgiving. In fact, it is your heart that is too big for you. Every time you pass without Mom present, every time that I pass without accompanying you grows and develops really will not be able to return. I sinned against you, son. And you're still looking for Mom." There was a stifled cry as Mom said it, she sighed then resumed her words.

"Sometimes you think you deserve better parents than you. But again Mother's ego says, you are Mother's son, Mother's and no one else can have you more than Mother."

"Akhtar, Mother's son...."

"No matter how far the distance that separates us, you are always first in my heart, son."

"I'm sorry, son. A mother who cannot be a good mother to you" she said softly, along with her low tone and tears that did not stop flowing from the corner of her eyes.

Akhtar was speechless, he was still unable to speak. His eyes that I know have dewy.

"Mother.", he said no less quietly. His breathing was stingy, and the crying finally broke again.