Pursuing First Love
131. Surrender

A room with all the white was the first thing Satria saw. He felt very confused because he did not recognize the place and there was not a single person there, only himself.

" I where? " satria was confused.

He also saw that he was now wearing white clothes. He doesn't remember anything before, the last thing he remembers is when he was stabbed by a knife in his right chest to save Sandi.

Satria touched his right chest to see the stab wound but there was no wound there.

" Am I in heaven? " satria said wondering.

Satria considered herself to be in heaven because it was white and quiet like heaven in her shadow.

When Satria was still confused, he suddenly moved to another place. That place was the living room in his house. Satria saw people gathered there and cried.

" Why am I suddenly at home" said Satria surprised and confused.

Satria approached Kinara which he saw was also there.

" Ra "call Satria to Kinara who is reading the Qur'an by occasionally wiping her falling tears.

There was no response from Kinara to Satria holding the shoulder of Kinara but could not.

" Why can't I touch Ara" said Satria in a deep panic.

Satria tried to call the others and touch them including Arif's father and Mother Wulan but still everyone who was there was not aware of his existence.

" Is this because I'm dead? " satria concluded what happened.

Satria looked at everyone she cared about with a look of disbelief if they could not see her and she was most likely dead.

" No, no way" said Satria shaking her head trying to think it was not true.

" I shouldn't be dead right now. There are still many tasks that I have not completed, I have not been able to be happy with Daddy and Mommy. I also still have the same beautiful dream Kinara, we will build a happy little family and I have to realize it all the same Kinara " continued Satria holding her head with both hands.

Satria reassures herself that she is still alive. Satria approached Arif's father and tried to get him to talk.

" Dad, you saw me. I'm here, Dad" said Satria but still no response from Arif's father.

Seeing that, Satria stepped back and away from all of them who could not see her existence.

" It's impossible. I cannot leave this world now "cried Satria continued with a crying voice from her lips.

Satria could not accept leaving the world and they were all at this time. Moreover, seeing the sadness that was clearly drawn from their faces all.

" O God, please give me another chance to live. There are so many things I have not done to make them happy. There are still many tasks and responsibilities that I have to complete "Satria said in her tears.

Satria could clearly see Commander Anton and his comrades looking very sad, including Sandi who was crying and leaning her body on the wall. Satria could guess if now he was in the hospital and they were like that because of him.

" You should be able to control yourself, Sandi. Now we have to give the news to Satria's family if Satria is dead" Commander Anton told Sandi.

" Neither and "answer Sandi rise.

Although it was expected that Satria was very surprised when she heard that she was really dead. Satria did not meet Sandi nor any of them because they would not be able to see her existence.

Satria is still into the ICU room which she believes her body is in there. And sure enough, when he entered the room the nurses were removing all medical aids on the body of Satria who had been stretched stiff with a very pale face. Satria froze to see her own body lying lifeless there.

" We go out now and prepare all the needs for the body of Bripda Satria because it is likely to be brought back to Jakarta to his family" said one nurse to another nurse.

The nurses came out of the ICU room and only Satria was left there.

With legs that felt very heavy, Satria walked closer to herself who had become a corpse.

" I really am dead? " satria looked at her stiffened body.

" No. You have to wake up Satria, remember there are still many people that you have to be happy " continued Satria shook the body to regain consciousness.

Satria kept trying to make her body move back but still nothing happened there.

" Oh my God, is it time for me to really go? " say Satria gave up.

" If it is time, I accept, O God. Please protect and please the people I care about. Strengthen and give them all sincerity if I leave them all for ever. Please give Kinara a good soul mate for herself, O God. I accept and sincerely return to you " continued Satria.

Satria felt he could not fight against fate if indeed his age was up to live in the world. He only hopes that everyone who loses himself can be sincere and steadfast. Satria had given up and resigned if indeed he had to die at this time.

Suddenly Satria held onto her chest because now her chest felt very tight. Maybe it's time he really left for good.

" Goodbye everyone, sorry for all my mistakes. I'm sorry Satria had to leave before she could make Daddy and Mommy happy. I'm sorry to break all my promises to you, Ra "said Satria softly while holding back the tightness in her chest.

The tightness grew and slowly Satria closed her eyes and maybe after this she could not see the people she loved anymore.

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