I'm Always Wrong In Your Eyes
part 4 Giving Birth

Two weeks had passed from the events of that night. Quite calm while at home Mamah. Without listening to those who always have a spicy mouth. And think about what next step I should take. I exchanged ideas with Kak Vera, the owner of the boutique where I work. Brother Vera is a good man. She not only considers me an employee at her store, but also considers me her sister. Actually the employees at Kak Vera's boutique were five including me, but they were all under my age. So it is more comfortable to tell stories with Kak Vera compared to fellow employees.

"Sister, what do you think of my sister. Continued or what? I'm ashamed if you fail for the second time"

"How do you think? It depends on your heart, Din. If you don't like Bagas anymore and don't want to give him a chance, what can I do, that's your choice."

"But if I may give you advice, try to forgive her and give her a chance. Maybe he can change."

"Whatever your decision, Brother will continue to support you"

I also reflected on what Brother Vera said. Until one afternoon Bagas came to Mamah's house.

"Dik, go home yuk. I'm sorry, you're really sorry. I promise I won't repeat it again."

In front of Mamah, Isha and her husband, Sister Lisna and also my niece Bagas promised.

"I'm sorry I forgive you. But I don't want to go to your mother's house anymore. Very nice family."

After Bagas promised in front of my family, he actually kept his promise. Although his drunken habit could not be lost, he did not commit violence anymore. And I never went back to my mother-in-law's house, even if it was on Eid. Let me be regarded as a disobedient son-in-law.

*****

Until one day, when I was eight months pregnant, I was shocked by a reality I did not expect.

The door rings in the morning. Bagas was in the bathroom. I saw the boss at work calling. I picked up the phone straight away.

"Hello baby, come get me. Let me be late"

I was surprised, I immediately disconnected the phone. There's a floating one at the end of my netraku. It did not feel the water flowing down the cheeks.

Before long, Bagas went into the room. He was surprised to see his face in my hands.

"Why is my life in your hands, brother?"

"So there's a Boss calling you Bang."

Instantly Bagas was surprised and tried to hide his shock.

"Ngapain also you picked up a phone that wasn't yours."

"The boss said quickly to be picked up a little late." I try to hide my anger and hurt.

Instantly Bagas passed by in a hurry without saying goodbye to me.

There's a sense of tightness inside the chest. And this heart feels sore like it's in an iris sembilu.

Is Bagas cheating?

Should I look for more evidence of her infidelity?

Why is my savings for preparing for childbirth always reduced?

Who took it for him to cheat?

For a week the question kept berserk in my mind. Until finally contractions occur. The mules that happened made me unable to survive. I also asked for help from my sister Isha and my sister-in-law Lisna. It just so happened that Mom was not home.

They immediately took me to the nearest puskesmas. Don't forget I asked Isha to bring me my clothes and savings.

Arriving at the health center, I was immediately handled by the midwife and nurse on duty. The midwife immediately checked me.

"Sorry Mom, this is just the opening one. Whether you want to stay here or go home first" said the midwife who handled me.

"Here directly aja bu midwife, fear later the feet immediately limp and can not walk"

The midwife also checked my history in the pregnant mother's notebook.

"The story of this mother, the first child did so at the Hospital ya ma'am. With the condition of the mother who is short of breath and not strong cringe."

"This is the second child, Mom. If you look at the interpretation of the date of his birth is still one month away."

"Mom, can you ask, do you feel stressed? You see, a pregnant woman should not feel depressed or anything. Pregnant women should relax so that the baby is healthy."

I was just silent because it was wrong I could not maintain the condition of the body. I shouldn't have to think about Bagas and his infidelity.

Madam Midwife is good. He always took care of me and always checked my condition.

Not how long the bagas came. The midwife couldn't do much more because my condition was getting weaker. I was finally taken to the hospital.

Once at the Hospital, I was immediately taken to the action room. As my condition grew weaker, the nurses immediately put infusion tubes almost all over my body.

When I gave birth at the risk of my life and death, Bagas was not beside me. I was accompanied only by nurses, obstetricians, and midwives on duty at that time.

At seven o'clock in the morning, my little baby was born into the world. A handsome baby boy. I just briefly saw my little baby. My baby was taken straight to the incubator and had to get special treatment.

I was so happy, even if I only saw him for a moment. And just being able to pray that nothing happens to my little baby.

I feel tired and my eyes are twitching. I feel like I want to sleep. Before I lost consciousness, I heard the doctor say I should prepare four to five bags of blood. Because I'm bleeding. And also I have to be in a curette, because the placenta of my baby that has been partially destroyed is still attached to the uterine wall.

Seeing my condition getting weaker, the nurses and midwives immediately carried out the doctor's orders. They were very busy and looked nervous. Until the end, all I felt was darkness with a very light body.

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