CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
New step (chapters4)

There are times when you can only see from a distance, silent without twitching. The steps stopped, with the heart whispering. Watching from a distance and saying there was a time I was walking.

The ringing alarm woke me up, at what time I could finally fall asleep. With my body covered in face, I lay on the prayer mat. At least I feel calmer now. With a body that felt sick like being beaten, I got up to the kitchen to return to berwudu’.

“Re, you just woke up?” greet Mother.

“Iya, Bun,” I replied as I rubbed my eyes repeatedly. Because I don't want you to see my swollen eyes.

“Where are you planning today, Re?” ask Mommy with hands filled with dishwashing soap foam.

“Not yet, Bun. Why?” askaku ventured to look towards Mother.

“Not what. Buruan wudu’ hunted out at dawn!” pinta Mother.

I continued my steps towards the bathroom, berwudu’ and then immediately re-entered the room. My heart is deg\-degan, my body is shaking. Thank goodness that Mother first rebuked me, if not. I am afraid of the wrong behavior that actually further damaged my relationship with Mother.

After worship, as usual I swept the house and terrace to the yard. While Mommy washed the leftover dishes last night and cooked. Well, for home business we share the duties. Mother often said, girls must be smart to take care of the house. Like my late mother, Mother often gave me advice. I listened to him, so sincerely taking his advice. Because what he said was a good thing to me.

All day, I spent my time at home. With a body like soulless, I re-specialize sheet by sheet of files that the university needs. I don't know, I want to step down, but I've been struggling to graduate. Want to continue, but I'm afraid to burden Dad. I don't want Daddy and Mommy to keep fighting because of me.

At night, I just got home from the office. While Mommy just returned from her parents' house.

“Assalamu alaikum .... “

The sound of my greeting made my steps moved to run towards the door, but dear I was first Mother.

“Answered first greetings Masnya,” seduce Daddy with sweetness.

“Why? You're busy, looking for extra work for Renata?” ask Mommy with both hands folded on her chest.

“Mas just got home, Dik. Don't be terrorized so, ah,” pinta Dad.

Patiently, Dad hugged the body of Mother, but Mother quickly rejected the body of Father until finally Father was pushed down. But the hand of Father who hugged Mother made Mother also interested in falling with Father.

I hesitated to approach them. Suddenly Mother groaned in pain, Father swiftly helped Mother to sit down. When you start to move, you see blood flowing between his legs. I immediately went out of the room and approached Mother. While Dad ran to call a rickshaw that often gathered at the end of the complex.

I ran to my room, took a scabbard and covered my mother's body with a sheath. Well, some of Mother's clothes have been exposed to blood. Dad came back in then swiftly carrying Mommy to the rickshaw. I cleaned up the blood that ran all the way to the exit. I threw myself into Mother's room, which used to be my mother's room. I opened the Mother's closet, I grabbed some negligee and sarongs as well as other Mother's needs. I fit neatly in a bag. Actually I really want to go there, but I doubt it. I doubt Mother's emotions are re-lured if I see my face. There is nothing I can do but pray for the safety of both. Well, somehow Mother has been taking good care of me lately.

After waiting for a while, my phone rang. A call from Dad, may not be bad news.

“Re, you can follow here with your Mother's shirt?” ask Dad.

“Iya, Well,” my answer quickly.

A moment of doubt I lost, I eagerly grabbed the bag containing the needs of Mother. Lock the door and run towards the group of rickshawmen. The cold wind of the night was tasteless, because of the enormity of my worries. Along the way I spent my time to continue praying to the Supreme Being, I did not want Dad to feel more guilty if anything happened to Mother.

I was stopped at a nearby maternity clinic, after paying the rickshaw fare, slowly my doubts to see Mommy again appeared. The distance is not so far, it does not make me faster to meet Father and Mother. Well, my footsteps grew heavier as my distance got closer. Until finally my steps stopped right in front of the door of the Mother's room. I couldn't feel like I was going in, I just kept quiet, staring at the bag in my arms.

Time seems to stop, when your guts are gone.

You will be left behind, without your knowing.

It takes a long time to call back the spirit.

Quiet, but hold on.

Because it's not over yet, but it has to be resolved.