CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
My New Boyfriend's

“Mas! When do you want to spoil Renata?” snapped Mother to Dad.

“I just want to grant Renata and her Mother's dream,” replied Father gently. Yes, my father was the softest and most affectionate man. Not because he's my father, but that's the reality.

“Why don't you tell me the truth, Mom? Why aren't you being honest about our situation? Aren't you thinking about the fate of the child I'm carrying?” clearly Mother with a raucous voice, accompanied by a slashing cry if you hear it.

“I think of you as well as our son, Dik,” said Father as he gently stroked the palm of Mother's hand. Well, from the door that was not closed tightly, I saw firsthand what happened.

Mother took off Father's hand, until Dad was pushed. That's why there's a strong impact sound from inside there. Dad then got back up and hugged Mommy while saying “ Dik, control your emotions. I don't want anything to happen to my son!” pinta Daddy's. At that moment Dad's eyes turned towards the door and found me who was turning around.

Again\-again that shadow that floated in my mind. How can I sleep if this alone haunts me. I turned my body over again and again. Fixing my pillow, and then taking one of the pillows to put under my feet. Then I turned my body against the wall. Until unknowingly time has shown at 00.00 wib. Finally I decided to move to sleep on the floor without a pedestal. But again\-again my eyes can not be closed.

 I slowly opened the door and walked to the kitchen. I wet my body with wudu’ and I put my face on the prayer mat. I'm done enjoying my way tonight. It was a pretty hard night for me. I told myself many times that I was not alone. But resting on the Master is the best way.

I am not mine, though,

There is still a creator who has power over me.

Eyes will not be closed, without His permission.

Yes, Rabb. Guide me in Your way.

Because my destiny is in your hands. 

“Re, why the hell is your face bent all day?” tanya Tama who approached me as I stood towards the garden.

“Woi, seriously very. On speaking what?” ask Jo who is standing facing me and Tama.

“Sorry Re, this is it. But you promise yes, should be our same story,” pinta Jo soft with face feel guilty. 

I took the rough paper out of Jo's hand, then turned back to throw away the view towards the garden.

“Your value is low Re?” tama asked gently with her hands touching my head.

All of a sudden my tears fell, Tama's warm and gentle demeanor made me calm. As calm as Dad's embrace. I haven't felt the pleasure of Daddy's embrace for so long. Jo just stared at my sobbing cry. It was quiet again, only me, Jo and Tama were there.

“What's your value, Re?” ask Jo.

I didn't answer, just handed back the piece of paper I took from him.

“Yeah Re, you insult what how? It's seven point eight tablets, I'm worth five point not to this extent,” said Jo while repeatedly patting his forehead with his right hand.

My crying stopped, and then in a raucous voice I asked Tama, “you how much?” Tama smiled and replied, “alhamdulilah, eight point three.”

I wiped my tears, breathing through my mouth several times. I want to calm myself.

“Re, you know Mr. Berri. The value of seven was already high for his college eyes. He is a lecturer killer and entwined to the matter of value. Why are you so sad, is there another problem?” tanya Tama with her sweet smile.

“I'm afraid of Tam, afraid of my scholarship in the unplug. I don't want to quit Tam's college. Me ...”

“Gini only, start in the future. If you have difficulty in college, we learn together. You too Jo, want to see when you're ngandelin your parents. He said he wanted to be independent,” Tama told us. His language was too old as if he was advising us as his son. It makes me smile.

“Tama, Renata is crazy,” said Jo half-whispering with eyes glancing at me.

It gave me reflexes then hit Jo strongly. We ran and chased, until we finally met a security guard who asked us not to be noisy.

For a moment my troubled heart was healed by the existence of Jo and Tama. They managed to be my encouragement, my entertainer and my best friend. The comfort and openness between us made us understand each other to behave.

Well, sometimes guts come to see you.

Anxiety and disappointment come knocking on your day.

But do not get swept away, because the storm will soon pass.