CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
my new boyfriend
I opened my diary. It was clear that my face was flushed with embarrassment on my face when I took a picture with Tama. Just then Tama gently stroked my hair and Jo swiftly took this picture. Happy, this is my first love. Well, the chaotic life made me ignore the feeling and the love. The seemingly endless suffering left me swept away in fear and sorrow.
Slowly the taste of the tub in the dark valley faded. A ray of light is coming continuously in my life now. Tama and Jo made me happy. Forgetting suffering in a moment. But unfortunately, the love that has grown is not further maintained. Tama moved to Sabang after successfully graduating PNS there. While Jo is busy taking care of his needs, he will continue his studies in Java. I have been successfully accepted as a laboratory worker at a large clinic, on the recommendation of Jo's family. Well, grandpa, papa and his two brothers are medical graduates. They have clinics and laboratories in collaboration with leading hospitals.
I feel happy because I can be independent. Even now I can send some of my income to Dad. I look so proud of my situation. They do not need to know the magnitude of my struggle, the amount of pressure I have to face, the hardships of my daily life. They just need to feel my success is not how much. That's the only way I can do it. Saying I was independent, so that those I loved could relax through the day.
“Re, actually Tama likes you,” Jo said as we both ate at the cafe near the clinic where I work.
Uhuk !
“His dinner, Re. Here, drink first!” jo said while giving me a glass of cold lemon tea.
“Terus ...”
“Yes, he intends to tell you. But because he was busy taking care of his files, he continued to have to rush to leave. Not so,”, Jo explained
I just shake my head.
“This is a letter for you, maybe he realises it from here,” Jo said as she thrust a slip of mail with a pink envelope.
Without hesitation, I snatched the envelope and opened it immediately. Jo and I are so close and open. His nosy and indifferent attitude towards me all this time turned out to show how comfortable he was to me. That is his true nature, until I am willing to accept his attitude.
I read the letter, right, Jo said. Tama expressed her feelings for me. But he hesitated to get in touch with me. Not only a matter of distance, but he feels more useless if being a lover but unreliable. For the sake of contentment, he is only able to express. He and Jo knew me and my family. They even played at my house when I went home on vacation. Until they really know what I'm dealing with and feeling. When they came, Daddy and Mommy were fighting about Dad's job. They heard it, heard all the talk of Father and Mother. Until I finally couldn't speak. I can only smile and raise both shoulders.
My tears suddenly fell, there was a sense of resentment for unrequited love, the relationship that was established. But I am happy, my race does not clap one hand. Somehow I have to do it. Reply to this letter with anger or let it all pass like nothing happened.
“Re, I don't know what to say. You want an LDR with Tama? But at least you know, that Tama likes you, right?” said Jo who tried to caress my head, just like Tama did. But because of her stiff caress, it makes me uncomfortable and laugh. Jo's face was red, looking embarrassed. He then turned his face away for a moment, so that I would not see his cheeks red.
“I won't be able to replace Tama? I'm not as gentle as Tama, can't steal your heart from Tama,” he said softly but pitched annoyed.
I can't speak. I don't understand what he means. My heart and mind are so upset. Confused and disappointed, sad, happy and doubtful.
I can only smile when I remember that moment. Now I realize that Jo loves me. Well, it was the night before he left. He asked me to accompany him shopping for some of his needs.
Friends of the opposite sex are dangerous
Love usually grows between the two
However, many are comfortable doing it
Friends become love
Many still realize
Friendship is more fun than love
