CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
New Story

Six months passed after I learned of the presence of the HIV virus that had lodged in my body. I have now joined the ODHA group in my city. I also consume ARVs regularly. Even though I'm a medical professional. However, sometimes I am unable to calm myself with the knowledge I know.

Well, I need those other carriers. Those who continue to encourage me, remind me and invite me to meet other carriers. Those who made my life so much more useful even before I was an ODHA. Those holding hands gave me a sense of comfort like coming home to my family. Those who are ready to see the cries and hear the screams of disappointment of the carriers. Those who are always there, are ready to give their shoulders for us carrier lean.

I feel much more alive now. Well, the aridity of parental affection is now replaced. My heart always blossomed with passion. As if I said I was ready to face the world! My world is now changing better, more beautiful and much more organized.

The activities I do really follow the existing therapy recommendations. Sure enough, even if I'm HIV positive. However, my physical condition is normal and fresh. It's even fresher than before the virus. I really feel in a new world. A world full of laughter.

Maybe this is the happiness God has promised. The happiness I miss so much. Happiness that managed to color my days. Sometimes I get caught up in daydreaming. Long daydreams from every journey of my destiny. Well, the death of my mother, the death of my grandmother, the bad actions of my brother, the pressure of my mother on my intention to continue college, the pressure that you have to accept for defending me. All of that is clearly visible like the eyes staring at a glass screen.

But sadness is no longer a burden. The pain is no longer a dry wound. It's no longer a bad memory I don't want to remember. But that incident is now proof of the love of the Maha.

Maybe I was hurt, often disappointed and often crying. However, it is not just me who is facing. I just shut myself out of the outside world. The outside world that turned out to be more cruel than my circumstances. At least, every bad thing that happened. God keeps giving me people who love me. The father who gently guarded my heart, Tama who was always warm in place of Dad, Jo who was nosy and ignorant but always paid attention to my needs and habits.

Until now, Ela-the woman who became my little inspiration. Our circumstances are similar, but my fate is much better. Mother loves me and Father remains mine. While Ela, she had to be far from Ayahny because of her stepmother's attitude. He had to find money for his living expenses, so as not to burden his grandmother. He was completely alone, when I still had friends and people I loved.

“Re, I have to go home. Grandma's dead! I'm on three-day leave. At first, I wanted to take you, Re. But, Brother Joya said, you should replace me, so you can not take a day off during my leave. Sorry, Re. I'm so troublesome to you,” she explained with a sad face and eyes that swell because they continue to cry.

“I'm the one who should be apologizing, El. I can't keep you company. I hope you continue to toughen up. Because I don't want to see your Grandma grieve, if you see you who continue to be trapped in grief.”

Three days ago, I went home to work alone. In fact, when I go out to shop or just look for food. It felt lonely, because there was usually Ela who accompanied.

I also convinced myself. It's true that someone was spying on me. I don't know who. I don't think I have any enemies, let alone a man. Only Tama and Jo are the other guys that are really close to me. It was so far away and now that he had a lover, there was no way he could do this. Jo's not the guy who's gonna do this, even though I know how nosy he is. Who the hell is this guy acting weird?

The path of destiny is often fraudulent and rocky

The weather and circumstances are constantly changing

But we as human beings prefer to remember suffering

But not always crying shows difficulty

Because now I cry often because I am happy

Happy for the wonderful gift I have received

The best gift that any human being cannot give

Happy with gratitude for the destiny I have